The How to Get Home for 11 Cent Conundrum

AnonoBoy

I forgot my wallet today, bought lunch with the coins in my pocket before I realised and now I have but 11c in that pocket.

It's raining a lot today and I have an umbrella but I do not fancy the hour long walk home. I know nobody who can give me a lift home and don't have anybody who can drop by my house to get my wallet for me. So I turn to you fine denizens of After Hours to help me in my plight. How can I get home for only 11c?

Help me Obi-Wan After Hours, you're my only hope!

Yours shelteringly,

AnonoBoy

Skylinehead

"Excuse me sir, ya wudn't happen to have a eurrrrro for de bus wud ya?"

kfallon

Walk....you've now saved 11c

AnonoBoy

kfallon wrote: »

Walk....you've now saved 11c

Saved the 11c from being spent how though?

smash

You on a Luas line?

Tombi!

Do what I do on nights out: Get a taxi and say you'll be back with the money.

Then you get the money and give it to the nice taximan.

Or jump out of the taxi five minutes before the taxi gets to your home, then run, run fast.

clintondaly

How much is the umbrella woth,or is there any way of getting a tune out of it?

Lyaiera

You could post a thread on Boards.ie about how you left your wallet at home and hope some kind stranger offers you lift.

FatherLen

you dont want to walk eh? you could skip? roll? meander? run?

kfallon

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Saved the 11c from being spent how though?

Well you were expecting to spend it to get home otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned you had 11c

danniemcq

an hour walk is f all really. Consider it your exercise for the day. and if you run some of the way you'll be back in half that time.

Especially if you have headphones and music/podcasts

(i have a 40 minute walk home every day great to catch up on news)

just walk, good exercise

ejmaztec

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

Do what I do on nights out: Get a taxi and say you'll be back with the money.

Then you get the money and give it to the nice taximan.

Or jump out of the taxi five minutes before the taxi gets to your home, then run, run fast.

..and get your 15 minutes of fame on Youtube, and ten million people chasing you for the bounty, including Mr & Mrs Dog.

Tombi!

ejmaztec wrote: »

..and get your 15 minutes of fame on Youtube, and ten million people chasing you for the bounty, including Mr & Mrs Dog.

Personally I wouldn't mind being tackled by Beth, I'm sure those massive things on her chest would be quite comfortable.

Mr Benevolent

Just got an electric bike, it's only 9c to charge it. 2c profit!

AnonoBoy

smash wrote: »

You on a Luas line?

Nope.

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

Do what I do on nights out: Get a taxi and say you'll be back with the money.

Then you get the money and give it to the nice taximan.

Or jump out of the taxi five minutes before the taxi gets to your home, then run, run fast.

I don't want to spend 20 euro on a taxi home either.

clintondaly wrote: »

How much is the umbrella woth,or is there any way of getting a tune out of it?

5 euro from Dunnes. I suppose I could hammer it off the ground for a rhythm.

FatherLen wrote: »

you dont want to walk eh? you could skip? roll? meander? run?

danniemcq wrote: »

an hour walk is f all really. Consider it your exercise for the day. and if you run some of the way you'll be back in half that time.

Especially if you have headphones and music/podcasts

(i have a 40 minute walk home every day great to catch up on news)

bluewolf wrote: »

just walk, good exercise

Exercise? I'm disappointed with both of you to be honest.

Culleeo

You could start singing in the rain outside the office and surely you would make a few euro or else you could just borrow the bus money off someone in work?

laoch na mona

are you wearing a suit? if you ask for money for the bus while wearing a suit people are more likely to give you money as we trust people in suits

Plazaman

To the shop and get a sticky sweet for 10c

Then onto the internet to swap it for a Pen

Swap the pen for a nailfile

A nailfile for a Steel Ruler

A Steel Ruler for a Hammer

Go back to the sticky sweet shop with the Hammer and demand the contents of the till then...... no wait, that mightn't be 100% legal so forget the last swap and with the Steel Ruler, bend it slightly and attach a Rubber Band. Then into the street to busk for 3.5 hours for the Bus Fare home.

Or you could walk home in an hour and superglue your wallet to your inner thigh so you'll never forget it again.

Tombi!

If you don't want to walk or get a taxi then you're outta luck.

UNLESS!

Yes there is a way: get a friend to come to you and give you money and/or carry you home.

AnonoBoy

Plazaman wrote: »

To the shop and get a sticky sweet for 10c

Then onto the internet to swap it for a Pen

Swap the pen for a nailfile

A nailfile for a Steel Ruler

A Steel Ruler for a Hammer

Go back to the sticky sweet shop with the Hammer and demand the contents of the till then...... no wait, that mightn't be 100% legal so forget the last swap and with the Steel Ruler, bend it slightly and attach a Rubber Band. Then into the street to busk for 3.5 hours for the Bus Fare home.

Or you could walk home in an hour and superglue your wallet to your inner thigh so you'll never forget it again.

This is the calibre of response I was looking for. More please.

Tombi!

AnonoBoy wrote: »

This is the calibre of response I was looking for. More please.

Technically speaking, the pointy end of the umbrella is able to remove a man's eye.

How do you feel about blinding a beggar and running away with the cup of money?

celtictiger32

what area do you work/live i could pick you up and drop you home for 11 cent

minidazzler

Are any of the great people of AH willing to loan this jun fine gentleman 2 euro to get the bus back to Carl wherever he is going?

If I was in Dublin I'd spot ya, but I'm not. So, you best start giving 20c BJ's.

steal a dublin bike

are you in dublin
i suppose you can have a euro

you should still walk though :P

FatherLen

start a rap duo

fishy fishy

it's only summer rain ya big baby.
Get up and walk - it's only an hour.

(this is a joke and not meant to
be serious).

AnonoBoy

FatherLen wrote: »

start a rap duo

Great idea.

Name suggestions:

AnonoBoy & FatherLen
The B Sharps
The Hard-Ass Muthaf*cking Mouth Talkers

Anyone

Put it all on a horse called "Wheelavit" in the 4.10 at Southwell today.

ZombieMed

city centre to north, south, west side?

ZombieMed

Also, how did you get to work this morning without your wallet?

Rented Mule

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I forgot my wallet today, bought lunch with the coins in my pocket before I realised and now I have but 11c in that pocket.

It's raining a lot today and I have an umbrella but I do not fancy the hour long walk home. I know nobody who can give me a lift home and don't have anybody who can drop by my house to get my wallet for me. So I turn to you fine denizens of After Hours to help me in my plight. How can I get home for only 11c?

Help me Obi-Wan After Hours, you're my only hope!

Yours shelteringly,

AnonoBoy

Anno. Post your address and if you have a hidden spare key and we'll run by the house for you.

Boombastic

Offer to Suck off your boss for €50

€50.11 profit

seamus

fishy fishy wrote: »

(this is a joke and not meant to
be serious).

Why not? If the walk is less than an hour I couldn't be arsed getting a bus. Walk, you pussy.

TimmyTank

How about you find a local junkie who's stuck for 11 cent and get a jockey back home.

I know this will probably take longer than walking yourself but with umbrella in hand you can keep yourself and your steed dry and save you with all that exercise malarkey....

giant_midget

Why not do what a normal person would and ask one of your work friends for a lend until tomorrow?

AnonoBoy

ZombieMed wrote: »

Also, how did you get to work this morning without your wallet?

Money in my pocket.

Rented Mule wrote: »

Anno. Post your address and if you have a hidden spare key and we'll run by the house for you.

Nice try Mule Boy.

Boombastic wrote: »

Offer to Suck off your boss for €50

€50.11 profit

No boss. Otherwise this would be the option I would go for.

seamus wrote: »

Why not? If the walk is less than an hour I couldn't be arsed getting a bus. Walk, you pussy.

Stop your nonsense with this walking craic.

TimmyTank wrote: »

How about you find a local junkie who's stuck for 11 cent and get a jockey back home.

I know this will probably take longer than walking yourself but with umbrella in hand you can keep yourself and your steed dry and save you with all that exercise malarkey....

I like it. Think I might go with this one.

If it stops raining I could use the umbrella as a whip to drive him onwards at greater speed.

Conall Cernach

Skylinehead wrote: »

"Excuse me sir, ya wudn't happen to have a eurrrrro for de bus wud ya?"

A guy tried that on me on Saturday only it was the price of a gallon of diesel for the car! He then proceeded to show me "his" driving licence for some reason and it was a different person in the picture.

AnonoBoy

giant_midget wrote: »

Why not do what a normal person would and ask one of your work friends for a lend until tomorrow?

I work alone these days.

Like a hitman.

A mundane, office-bound hitman.

giant_midget

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I work alone these days.

Like a hitman.

A mundane, office-bound hitman.

Ahh i see now...Shoot yourself in the leg, you will get a free ride to the hospital.. a freind can collect you from the hospital ! :pac:

Conall Cernach

giant_midget wrote: »

Ahh i see now...Shoot yourself in the leg, you will get a free ride to the hospital.. a freind can collect you from the hospital ! :pac:

Or pretend to be drunk in public and wait for a Guard to drive you home.

Snakeblood

Steal and then attempt to sell office supplies.

Failing that, offer blowjobs.

Ask for the money first though, because they frequently don't pay afterwards. :mad:

crazy cabbage

WALK!!!

The good people of after hours will keep you company :P

KKkitty

Get out your thumb and stick out your bum.

AnonoBoy

giant_midget wrote: »

Ahh i see now...Shoot yourself in the leg, you will get a free ride to the hospital.. a freind can collect you from the hospital ! :pac:

Let me see where that staple-gun is.......

Scioch

You go into a shop, walk upto the counter and spill the 11 cent into the crisps at the front of the counter. Apologise profusely and start looking around picking out the 11 cent. Then tell the cashier that your missing €4 and you cant find it, check your watch and mumble worriedly about missing the bus.

Guy behind the counter will say "No worries here's the €4 I'll dig the coins out, you go catch that bus ya weirdo.". To ease you conscience you go back in tomorrow and have a little chat about how strange it was that the coins disappeared. Insist on giving the guy back the 4 euro and your in the clear and everyone is happy.

AnonoBoy

KKkitty wrote: »

Get out your thumb and stick out your bum.

And stick my thumb up my bum? :eek:

LordSmeg wrote: »

You go into a shop, walk upto the counter and spill the 11 cent into the crisps at the front of the counter. Apologise profusely and start looking around picking out the 11 cent. Then tell the cashier that your missing €4 and you cant find it, check your watch and mumble worriedly about missing the bus.

Guy behind the counter will say "No worries here's the €4 I'll dig the coins out, you go catch that bus ya weirdo.". To ease you conscience you go back in tomorrow and have a little chat about how strange it was that the coins disappeared. Insist on giving the guy back the 4 euro and your in the clear and everyone is happy.

That's so obvious I'm surprised I didn't think of it earlier.

Scioch

Or another scam solution would be to flag a taxi, get in tell him somewhere a good bit past your place and then few streets later you say "crap I've no money, dont suppose you can drop me off as a favour?" ":mad: get the fcuk out :mad:"

Out ya get and flag another one, depending on how far it is you might take ya 2-3 attempts.

Skylinehead

Conall Cernach wrote: »

A guy tried that on me on Saturday only it was the price of a gallon of diesel for the car! He then proceeded to show me "his" driving licence for some reason and it was a different person in the picture.

My mate had someone ask for 4 euro...."for a cigarette". 4 quid? Get the boat :pac:

kfallon

AnonoBoy wrote: »

And stick my thumb up my bum? :eek:

Hey, don't knock it :pac:

AnonoBoy

kfallon wrote: »

Hey, don't knock it :pac:

Hey, many's the hour I've whiled away playing Ass-Thumb-Wars but I don't see how it's going to get me home.