Nice guys finish last?

spineless doormats self-proclaimed "nice guys" who whinge about why they cant get laid and blame women and think all men who can get any are assholes: those are the ones that finish last
with good reason

super_furry

People who describe themselves as nice guys are usually a little bit creepy.

blacklilly

I love nice guys but they're pretty hard to find! Never liked the bad boys unlike many of my friends.
Also men don't seem to like nice girls, so we finish last too

JohnMarston

"Its a fine line between being a prick and a doormat. Actually its a bloody tightrope.
There is no payoff in playing the long game, and its gonna get you nowhere fast being a massive c*nt to the opposite sex because you dont know any better.

The nice guy persona and those who adopt it need to unshakle themselves from the idea of being this quiet, shy lad who is too afraid to take a chance with the fairer sex.

A nice guy is a strong, assertive and gentlemanly type who isnt afraid to sweep a woman off her feet."

-My old man, 2008

CodyJarrett

humbert wrote: »

There's nothing worse than a girl licking your arse.

Au contraire mon ami, au contraire!

Sarah**

A girl wants a "strong" guy. Someone who wont take their sh1t but will surprise them and care for them at their weak moments. No one is suggesting that nice guys dont get the girl but I think all too often the nice guy gets shelved for the more assertive guy...

Haven't read this whole article but from what I have it makes some sense... http://www.romancestuck.com/articles/niceguy.htm

smash

blacklilly wrote: »

Also men don't seem to like nice girls, so we finish last too

I know lots of guys who would love to settle down with a nice girl...

once they've made their way through a load of slappers first!

Hardonraging

smash wrote: »

I know lots of guys who would love to settle down with a nice girl...

once they've made their way through a load of slappers first!

Isnt that what life's really all about, your experience's dictate the man/woman you become ?

CodyJarrett

bluewolf wrote: »

spineless doormats self-proclaimed "nice guys" who whinge about why they cant get laid and blame women and think all men who can get any are assholes: those are the ones that finish last
with good reason

Sure you're just "whinging" yourself in a quite obvious attempt to try and deflect away from the fact that there are a lot of woman who go for "bad boys" (read: bastards).

Just because some men rolls their eyes at those particular women, doesn't mean that they are doing so merely because they can't get laid (as you imply). That's just you trying to suggest that such men are merely bitter and so their opinions are not to be given heed. Seems a common tactic round these parts.

Many women on this thread alone have admitted that they know women who like a bit of drama and go for bad boys - so maybe try and address the reasons for that phenomena and less of the passing of the buck. Not everything is men's fault ya know.

CodyJarrett

CodyJarrett wrote: »

Sure you're just "whinging" yourself in a quite obvious attempt to try and deflect away from the fact that there are a lot of woman who go for "bad boys" (read: bastards).

Just because some men rolls their eyes at those particular women, doesn't mean that they are doing so merely because they can't get laid (as you imply). That's just you trying to suggest that such men are merely bitter and so their opinions are not to be given heed. Seems a common tactic round these parts.

Many women on this thread alone have admitted that they know women who like a bit of drama and go for bad boys - so maybe try and address the reasons for that phenomena and less of the passing of the buck. Not everything is men's fault ya know.

That's lovely. What's it got to do with the particular subset of guys I mentioned?

Sappa

Treat the woman like a domesticated 1950s house wife,she will respect your authority and value the discipline.
Don't forget to give her an allowance weekly as it's good to be kind also.

foxyboxer

The phrase is not exclusive to sex either.

I prefer the phrase "Nice Guys eat last" where the more aggressive get the Lion's share of anything of value (money, land, status/power and yes, sex), with the Nice Guys feeding on the scraps.

blacklilly

Maybe nice guys have reason to get annoyed that they may not get lucky as often as the bad guys.
The bad guys have no problem playing havoc with girls emotions, using them for sex and nothing more. They can click their fingers and the girls fall at their feet.
Whereas the nice guys treat girls with respect, show them affection etc and the girls brand them as pushovers.
My opinion is, a lot of girls think they can change the bad boys and also they are afraid of positive, emotionally connected relationships and therefore choose guys they know won't be emotionally available , subconsciously they don't believe they are worth the respect the nice guy is willing to show

foxyboxer

blacklilly wrote: »

Maybe nice guys have reason to get annoyed that they may not get lucky as often as the bad guys.
The bad guys have no problem playing havoc with girls emotions, using them for sex and nothing more. They can click their fingers and the girls fall at their feet.
Whereas the nice guys treat girls with respect, show them affection etc and the girls brand them as pushovers.
My opinion is, a lot of girls think they can change the bad boys and also they are afraid of positive, emotionally connected relationships and therefore choose guys they know won't be emotionally available , subconsciously they don't believe they are worth the respect the nice guy is willing to show

A pushover is really someone who doesn't 'fight' their corner. And does not necessarily need to be a man. either. You can fight your corner in a social interaction and not be an asshole *shock horror*

Duck Soup

A genuinely 'nice guy' is likely to have qualities of selflessness and altruism. Fine qualities to be sure, but not necessarily desirable in the furtherance of the species.

In other words, in caveman/cavewoman psychology, 'nice guy' is likely not to be a good, selfish hunter or relentless pursuer of objectives. That makes him a bad provider, and in modern times, this is likely to be borne out by a lack of career/financial success. Employers value the 'dynamism' and 'leadership' of someone who's a bit of a cúnt.

Hardonraging

blacklilly wrote: »

My opinion is, a lot of girls think they can change the bad boys and also they are afraid of positive, emotionally connected relationships and therefore choose guys they know won't be emotionally available , subconsciously they don't believe they are worth the respect the nice guy is willing to show

Could be a solid theory there .... I've always found balance to be the winner however, you can be nice to girl as long as you keep a little of your bad boy edginess ..

BraziliaNZ

It can be an issue for men that they dont have much going on in their lives or much to live for so when a woman comes along it's the be all and end all of their life and it's all they live for so they cling on to her and eventually push her away.
I think by "Bad Boys" they mean determined men who know what they want and can get other women i they want, must make them feel special or something. I would imagine it's hard for women to understand this as even the most insecure, needy girls I've ever known end up hooking up with guys all the time and they are all settled down now, although not in the happiest relationships. Men can just get left at the sidelines for life.
But what do I know I haven't got laid in years and I'm neither nice nor bad.

mauzo

blacklilly wrote: »

Maybe nice guys have reason to get annoyed that they may not get lucky as often as the bad guys.
The bad guys have no problem playing havoc with girls emotions, using them for sex and nothing more. They can click their fingers and the girls fall at their feet.
Whereas the nice guys treat girls with respect, show them affection etc and the girls brand them as pushovers.
My opinion is, a lot of girls think they can change the bad boys and also they are afraid of positive, emotionally connected relationships and therefore choose guys they know won't be emotionally available , subconsciously they don't believe they are worth the respect the nice guy is willing to show

You just summed up every relationship Ive ever been in!

foxyboxer

A good analogy would be a dog leash.

You're either on the leash or off it in a relationship. Try to be off it.

steddyeddy

I think people sometimes mistake a guy with confidence as a an a$%hole and a guy with no confidence as a nice guy. What exactly is a nice guy? If people really want to go out with a person who treats them like crap then they have esteem problems.

Edit: I would also argue a guy who puts his partner before him all the time also has esteem issues.

Edit: I would also add I am perfect in every way with zero esteem problems :P

foxyboxer

Nice Guy

"Alright? I'm heading off to the gym in the morning, be back about 2"
"What? But Helen and Rob are coming over with the baby"
"What? Oh I forgot, sorry about that love, I can go another time"

Whereas a non pushover would go to the gym anyway.

steddyeddy

foxyboxer wrote: »

A pushover is really someone who doesn't 'fight' their corner. And does not necessarily need to be a man. either. You can fight your corner in a social interaction and not be an asshole *shock horror*

Plus one. If I was going out with a girl and made my intentions clear before hitting the friend zone would that make me an a*&hole.

kfallon

Some girls like bad boys
Some girls like good boys
Some boys like bad girls (not the TV show about lezzies in prison btw )
Some boys like good girls
Some boys like girls who have willies *hums The Crying Game*

Tis all a question of choice at the end of the day!

kfallon

foxyboxer wrote: »

"Alright? I'm heading off to the gym in the morning, be back about 2"
"What? But Helen and Rob are coming over with the baby"
"What? So I have to miss the gym just cos she left that useless twat blow his beans up her buff??? See you later!"

How it prob should happen :pac:

foxyboxer

steddyeddy wrote: »

Plus one. If I was going out with a girl and made my intentions clear before hitting the friend zone would that make me an a*&hole.

So you would be going out with someone and you said you liked them but ended up friend-zoned?

steddyeddy

foxyboxer wrote: »

So you would be going out with someone and you said you liked them but ended up friend-zoned?

I meant that sometimes guys who define themselves as nice dont send girls they like the right signals. Often they end up being their friend rather than a potential boyfriend.

Hardonraging

steddyeddy wrote: »

I meant that sometimes guys who define themselves as nice dont send girls they like the right signals and end up being their friend rather than a potential boyfriend.

You can be nice and still drop the hand lads !!! just an FYI !!

steddyeddy

Hardonraging wrote: »

You can be nice and still drop the hand lads !!! just an FYI !!

Indeed! As I said earlier some people who define themselves as nice are often people who put their partner before them and allow themselves to be treated like doormats.

grindle

foxyboxer wrote: »

Nice Guy

"Alright? I'm heading off to the gym in the morning, be back about 2"
"What? But Helen and Rob are coming over with the baby"
"What? Oh I forgot, sorry about that love, I can go another time"

Whereas a non pushover would go to the gym anyway.

Bonus man-points:

"What baby?"

kfallon

Hardonraging wrote: »

You can be nice and still drop the hand lads !!! just an FYI !!

Never a truer word was spoken and you can also use the ould, "You can trust my hand, we're friends" line too just to put her at ease :pac:

kfallon

grindle wrote: »

Bonus man-points:

"What baby?"

Or, "Jaysus if the child is even half as in bits as her it's not worth looking at! Hope the baby got it's father's looks.....whoever he is" :pac:

Snowie

I always thought that a nice guy was some one who was too nice, some what passive and maybe a little on the needy side... Or gave that kinda impression where as a normal guy does what he wants at times can be considered cùntish but ultimately sees booth sides of the coin and generally does right bye him self... respects the fact that he is as important as every one else..

kfallon

Snowie wrote: »

I always thought that a nice guy was some one who was too nice, some what passive and maybe a little on the needy side... Or gave that kinda impression where as a normal guy does what he wants at times can be considered cùntish but ultimately sees booth sides of the coin and generally does right bye him self... respects the fact that he is as important as every one else..

Nice guys are pussywhipped

Normal guys know it's give and take in a relationship

Bad guys treat their women like shit as if they are beneath them

pickarooney

steddyeddy wrote: »

Edit: I would also add I am perfect in every way with zero esteem problems :P

No eserver lag?


/rides off into the sunset on a donkey

Snowie

kfallon wrote: »

Nice guys are pussywhipped

Normal guys know it's give and take in a relationship

Bad guys treat their women like shit as if they are beneath them

I beleave i said the same thing!
:rolleyes:

kfallon

Snowie wrote: »

I beleave i said the same thing!
:rolleyes:

I just de-waffled your post and put it in nice concise points for others

Voodoomelon

leggo wrote: »

It has nothing to do with being 'nice', and being 'nice' has nothing to do with the seduction process. The same way that being nice has nothing to do with being a good footballer or not.

What many (not all) women don't like is passive guys who are insecure and, thus, afraid to show their true selves. So they present this nice guy image instead, which is approachable as it's nice to have someone who'll always be kind to you around, but it doesn't necessarily mean you want to bang them.

None of us are 100% nice, in the same way that none of us are 100% arseholes. But I can see why a woman would be more attracted to a guy who was unafraid to be an arsehole around her than a guy who was clearly hiding it away under layers of insecurity, only for it to be revealed when it's too late. What we take to mean as 'nice' is, more often than not, just a lick arse who's afraid to be themselves.

I hate 'nice' girls too. There's nothing worse than a girl licking your arse, having learned from experience that you'll have to deal with a bunch of stuff that you didn't sign up for, as the layers peel off down the line.

Might sound harsh, but it's the truth.

Someone get this poster a TV show.

smash

syndeyfife wrote: »

You just summed up every relationship Ive ever been in!

Ah, girls like you keep us going!

kfallon

smash wrote: »

Ah, girls like you keep us going!

Us?

smash

kfallon wrote: »

Us?

Me anyway. I'm a 1 man wolf pack!

kfallon

smash wrote: »

Me anyway. I'm a 1 man wolf pack!

Was worried you were a bit of a schizo there for a minute!

JohnMarston

kfallon wrote: »

Nice guys are pussywhipped

Normal guys know it's give and take in a relationship

Bad guys treat their women like shit as if they are beneath them

How you were molded as a child and teenager will determine which category you fall into.

pablohoney87

JohnMarston wrote: »

How you were molded as a child and teenager will determine which category you fall into.

I find how badly you got F*cked over by an ex molds it

mauzo

JohnMarston wrote: »

How you were molded as a child and teenager will determine which category you fall into.

Im f*cked so!

smash

pablohoney87 wrote: »

I find how badly you got F*cked over by an ex molds it

vicious circle. Get screwed over, then screw someone else over, then they do the same etc etc.

pablohoney87

smash wrote: »

vicious circle. Get screwed over, then screw someone else over, then they do the same etc etc.

Vicious circle that doesnt concern me. Bee-line on to the next one :cool:

Pumpkinseeds

I'd like to say its not true, but it is. Best to find a confident woman who loves you and is well able to be an f****ng bitch to the rest of the world for both of you, if needs be.

smash

pablohoney87 wrote: »

Vicious circle that doesnt concern me. Bee-line on to the next one :cool:

Beware of stalkers!

pablohoney87

smash wrote: »

Beware of stalkers!

They have their uses too

smash

pablohoney87 wrote: »

They have their uses too

Now I'm confused!