Nice guys finish last?

Feeona

I dunno...Powell finished last in the 100m the other night, he seems to be a bit of an arsicle

Feisar

marshbaboon wrote: »

Or possibly, just maybe, they're a nice individual.

Oh it's grand but hardly noteworthy.

kfallon

Feeona wrote: »

I dunno...Powell finished last in the 100m the other night, he seems to be a bit of an arsicle

He shouldn't even have been in the final

foxyboxer

Feeona wrote: »

I dunno...Powell finished last in the 100m the other night, he seems to be a bit of an arsicle

He can wipe away those tears with his Gold from Beijing

Feeona

foxyboxer wrote: »

He can wipe away those tears with his Gold from Beijing

If he doesn't throw a strop in the next race, he just might be able to redeem himself!

1ZRed

Feeona wrote: »

I dunno...Powell finished last in the 100m the other night, he seems to be a bit of an arsicle

In fairness Bolt won and he's the most arrogant guy going. He is class though

foxyboxer

1ZRed wrote: »

In fairness Bolt won and he's the most arrogant guy going. He is class though

Nah that Greg Rutherford long jumper outdoes Bolt for sheer cockiness. At least Bolt is likeable.

1ZRed

foxyboxer wrote: »

Nah that Greg Rutherford long jumper outdoes Bolt for sheer cockiness. At least Bolt is likeable.

I was actually kind of taken aback by how up themselves a lot of the athletes are. Even the more useless ones.

I agree though, Bolt maybe a bit of a dick but he is funny. The other Jamaican is more or less the same and I had to laugh as the commentators were calling them 'real show men' as they took their medals.

Scanlas The 2nd

marshbaboon wrote: »

Feisar wrote: »

OK, what have all these nice people got going for them? Like if someone is described as nice I think it's fair to say they're probably fairly bland. Or at least are not showing their qualities.

Or possibly, just maybe, they're a nice individual.

If you were to look into anyone's head you'd probably no one is really " nice", they just don't have the self acceptance to say what they think which would be edgy.

W.Shakes-Beer

Grayson wrote: »

Yeah. Her arms

Wehaaay

laoch na mona

nice guys make good friends girls want arseholes
to be fair us men aren't much better how many lads waste time in relationships with complete bitches instead of going for a nice girl:)

love is blind
c'est la vie

why are people saying arseholes are alpha males i know plenty arseholes who i could kick the ****e out of

foxyboxer

I don't get this Alpha Male BS at all being the stereotypical bullyboy a-hole.

For me, the AM or AF, is simply an expert at something.
Not just good at something but excellent at something.

And those people you see out who are comfortable in themselves and are the life of the party? Well then they have excellent social skills.

You can be a chess grandmaster, a scratch golfer, a top programmer, the tiddlywinks world champion, an expert at telling lies (see politican :pac:). The history of Liverpool FC. Anything at all. In any particular social setting you would be seen as an Alpha/Expert.

Because the reason you would be regarded as an Alpha (male or female) is that in order to become such an expert means that you'd rather be spending time on refining what you like or love doing. Instead of doing what he/she wants to do all the time.

It's the nice people who are regarded as such because they have no goals or purpose and are simply drifting through their life. And that is very unattractive.

So taking these thoughts further, if you became say the chess grandmaster described above then you would likely be part of a club, a club that would travel to tournaments home and abroad. You turn up at one tournament, get introduced to a gorgeous russian player, say "Hi I'm X, I'm a grandmaster" and take it from there.

Scanlas The 2nd

1ZRed wrote: »

Feeona wrote: »

I dunno...Powell finished last in the 100m the other night, he seems to be a bit of an arsicle

In fairness Bolt won and he's the most arrogant guy going. He is class though

I wouldn't class bolt as arrogant at all. To me arrogance is thinking you are superior or better than other people.

Usain Bolt thinks he's faster than other people, if he didn't he should be locked up in an insane asylum. He smiles and has fun, neither is that arrogance.

Scanlas The 2nd

foxyboxer wrote: »

I don't get this Alpha Male BS at all being the stereotypical bullyboy a-hole.

For me, the AM or AF, is simply an expert at something.
Not just good at something but excellent at something.

And those people you see out who are comfortable in themselves and are the life of the party? Well then they have excellent social skills.

You can be a chess grandmaster, a scratch golfer, a top programmer, the tiddlywinks world champion, an expert at telling lies (see politican :pac:). The history of Liverpool FC. Anything at all. In any particular social setting you would be seen as an Alpha/Expert.

Because the reason you would be regarded as an Alpha (male or female) is that in order to become such an expert means that you'd rather be spending time on refining what you like or love doing. Instead of doing what he/she wants to do all the time.

It's the nice people who are regarded as such because they have no goals or purpose and are simply drifting through their life. And that is very unattractive.

So taking these thoughts further, if you became say the chess grandmaster described above then you would likely be part of a club, a club that would travel to tournaments home and abroad. You turn up at one tournament, get introduced to a gorgeous russian player, say "Hi I'm X, I'm a grandmaster" and take it from there.

The alpha male in anygiven situation at any given time is the man who is respected the most, simple as that. It might be for any number of reasons that he is respected most. It could be crap at everything but he's simply a cool guy.

blacklilly

Mongfinder General wrote: »

blacklilly wrote: »

IMO this is totally false, what it insinuates is that if you treat a girl like a piece of sh*t she'll love you.
I'm far from ugly and I've absolutely no time for a man that doesn't treat me the way I deserve to be treated. I once went out with a d*ckhead who treated me like a piece of crap, the only reason I stayed with him was because my confidence was shot.
I've since been in relationships with what would be considered nice guys and those relationships were more fulfilling, emotionally stable and loving due to the fact I was treated with respect.
Any girl who dismisses a nice guy is doing so because they are afraid of truely positive and loving emotions and believe they aren't worth that.
Life is far too short to waste time with a d*ckhead who is incapable of loving anyone
but himself.

Relationships. A great word, covers all manner of sins. Ask yourself the question, if the "nice guy" relationships were fulfilling, emotionally stable and loving, why did they end? More questions than answers I'd imagine.

Look at it like this. 2 guys, Mr Perfect and your d!ckhead ex boyfriend are running a race. The prize? You. Who wins? You're ex. Why? Because the other guy is a figment of your imagination.

I'd imagine the reason why the nice guy relationships did not work is because they were dull as fcuk, predictable jaunts that petered out because you think there is something better out there for you. And that's fair enough, there might be if you're lucky. The nice guy relationship is exactly what it says on tin. Nice. Ingredients - stability, monotony etc. Absolutely soul destroying stuff.

Is that what you really want?

Wow you don't mince your words do you.
Firstly just because i have experienced fulfilling positive relationships doesn't mean my ex was the one.
Secondly we broke up because he had to move half way across the world for work and although we tried to for a long time to keep our positive loving relationship going, unfortunately the distance got the better of us.
So no he wasn't boring, soul destroying or dull but we weren't meant to be. Maybe I'm naive for thinking ill meet another nice guy who will treat me well, be funny, kind, non boring, non soul destroying but I'd rather be naive and single than with a self absorbed man who will only bring me unhappiness and literally destroy my soul.

Madam_X

laoch na mona wrote: »

girls want arseholes

No they don't - no girl, apart from those with serious self esteem issues, decides they would like a guy who's a dick to them. A lot of the seeming arseholes are wonderful to them initially, then they get too drawn in.

Grayson

Onixx wrote: »

No they don't - no girl, apart from those with serious self esteem issues, decides they would like a guy who's a dick to them. A lot of the seeming arseholes are wonderful to them initially, then they get too drawn in.

I think the amount of women with soggy knickers for Christian Grey prove that there are some that do like assholes.

cantdecide

Lazy people tar all decent, respectful, sentient humans with the same 'nice guy/ girl' brush and often they ultimately miss out on true love and happiness, IME.

Sheer laziness is a lot of the problem. Do you think that the girl who goes out with the ahssloe or the guy who chases the tart would do so if they were sentient beings truly capable of sitting down and putting independent thought into their choice of partner? Hormones, Ted.

The nice guy thing works for girls too. I've met a ton of 'nice' girls and I wouldn't let their crazy into my life. Maybe they think that because I'm a nice guy I'm going to fix them.

I'm going to wait to find my nice girl and the jocks can bone the cheerleaders 'til the cows come home and I don't care...

Madam_X

Grayson wrote: »

I think the amount of women with soggy knickers for Christian Grey prove that there are some that do like assholes.

For how good he is purported to be in bed. It's fantasy - doesn't necessarily mean they'd want to be in a relationship with him, just that they'd like to have sex with him.

Zoria

. Charm and good looks were no match for court convictions and battle scars.

I'll just say that says something for your taste in women

Keno 92 wrote: »

Of course nice guys finish last. Why do you think were called nice guys? Because we let the the lady climax first.

Nice touch. The day we see that

Mully_2011

I'm going to post my experience here. I would probably be the textbook nice guy part of my problem was I could just never say no and I did let people use me as doormat which caused eventually came to head with depression that lasted for the best part of three years and that I've only started to come out of now in the past few months. I'm only starting to get my confidence back now.Being nice gets you nowhere.

blacklilly

Mully_2011 wrote: »

I'm going to post my experience here. I would probably be the textbook nice guy part of my problem was I could just never say no and I did let people use me as doormat which caused eventually came to head with depression that lasted for the best part of three years and that I've only started to come out of now in the past few months. I'm only starting to get my confidence back now.Being nice gets you nowhere.

There is a difference between being nice and being a walk over, you can be nice yet assertive.
Sorry to hear you've been through it but sounds like maybe you had little confidence at the time.

Being nice gets you everywhere with me. I've friends who love bad boys and they wonder why their lives are so full of drama . Hopefully you'll meet someone who's just ad nice who won't try to walk all over you

cantdecide

Mully_2011 wrote: »

I'm going to post my experience here. I would probably be the textbook nice guy part of my problem was I could just never say no and I did let people use me as doormat which caused eventually came to head with depression that lasted for the best part of three years and that I've only started to come out of now in the past few months. I'm only starting to get my confidence back now.Being nice gets you nowhere.

We've all been there matey. Saying no and not being available doesn't mean you're being a cnut. Cynical people will make you cynical if you let them.

Grayson

cantdecide wrote: »

The nice guy thing works for girls too. I've met a ton of 'nice' girls and I wouldn't let their crazy into my life. Maybe they think that because I'm a nice guy I'm going to fix them.

lets not start with the crazy ones. They're a whole other ballgame. Thankfully I've become adapt at spotting crazy a mile away.

Mongfinder General

blacklilly wrote: »

Wow you don't mince your words do you.
Firstly just because i have experienced fulfilling positive relationships doesn't mean my ex was the one.
Secondly we broke up because he had to move half way across the world for work and although we tried to for a long time to keep our positive loving relationship going, unfortunately the distance got the better of us.
So no he wasn't boring, soul destroying or dull but we weren't meant to be. Maybe I'm naive for thinking ill meet another nice guy who will treat me well, be funny, kind, non boring, non soul destroying but I'd rather be naive and single than with a self absorbed man who will only bring me unhappiness and literally destroy my soul.

The one. Here's a novel concept. There is more than one guy out there for you. Forget about the one, it's a foible of female character. That's the romantic in you, but your writing tells me you've got the smarts to smell the BS. There are plenty of guys out there who could make you very happy.

You're far from naive, that's the benefit of coming out stronger from a bad romance. You seem a little downhearted but I'd wager that you're more than capable of finding what you want, and more importantly what you feel you need in the long term. And apologies if I came across as being curt and coarse, and at the risk of sounding patronising, you seem to have some idea about what you're doing.

Vicar in a tutu

Theres a difference between being a nice guy and being a lapdog.

blacklilly

Mongfinder General wrote: »

The one. Here's a novel concept. There is more than one guy out there for you. Forget about the one, it's a foible of female character. That's the romantic in you, but your writing tells me you've got the smarts to smell the BS. There are plenty of guys out there who could make you very happy.

You're far from naive, that's the benefit of coming out stronger from a bad romance. You seem a little downhearted but I'd wager that you're more than capable of finding what you want, and more importantly what you feel you need in the long term. And apologies if I came across as being curt and coarse, and at the risk of sounding patronising, you seem to have some idea about what you're doing.

I know there are plenty of guys that could make me happy, when I say "the one" I understand that there are countless men that could fall into that.
I also wouldn't consider myself overly romantic but what I'm saying is I'd prefer to be content and single than with someone who doesn't treat me right. Lots of women and men for that matter are in pointless relationships bee they're afraid of being alone.
Now I just have to meet this guy(s) who'll sweep off my feet to live happily ever after...... in a castle

Daveysil15

I've heard quite a few women say they've no difficulty meeting men, they just have difficulty meeting the 'right' man. And then there's the poor fellas who can't meet a woman full stop.

starlit

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I've heard quite a few women say they've no difficulty meeting men, they just have difficulty meeting the 'right' man. And then there's the poor fellas who can't meet a woman full stop.

That is very true. I notice that. There are very few actual nice men out there I find anyway. For me its the opposite though finding it harder to meet men. True though harder to find 'the right man!' How you mean they can't meet a woman? you mean the nice guys can't?

Bipolar Joe

I hate it when people describe themselves as a "Nice, good looking [gender]". You see it in almost all of the threads in PI. "I am good looking why won't any one love me?" It's OK to say you're ugly, you feckin' munters.

Also, nice guys are usually just another brand of bastard. At least normal bastards will be up front, Nice Guys are sly and often use guilt as a way to get laid.

I'm not nice. I'm not a bastard. I'm just a guy.








And I still can't get a fuckin' girlfriend because I'm ugly as balls.

Johro

Bipolar balls.

Wompa1

doovdela wrote: »

That is very true. I notice that. There are very few actual nice men out there I find anyway. For me its the opposite though finding it harder to meet men. True though harder to find 'the right man!' How you mean they can't meet a woman? you mean the nice guys can't?

Oh Lord! There's no answer to this that a woman would accept in fairness. Nice guys are left on the shelf, every girl that says the most important thing is a good sense of humor or nice personality really means as long as they look good too of course. I can't go out with an ogre, what would the girls think?

pragmatic1

I've been the nice guy and I've been the bastard. Bastards definitely get more action but the quality of women you meet is not that good and it's bad for the soul.

indioblack

Wompa1 wrote: »

Oh Lord! There's no answer to this that a woman would accept in fairness. Nice guys are left on the shelf, every girl that says the most important thing is a good sense of humor or nice personality really means as long as they look good too of course. I can't go out with an ogre, what would the girls think?

I've a jaundiced view on this subject. An example may illustrate.
I've a friend who had two relationships - the men were complete swines.
When I asked her why some women gravitate towards "bad boys" she told me that women like to be excited. I thought, "if you want excitement, buy a motorbike".
She now has a relationship with a bit of a doormat - they're content, she's basically in control.

blacklilly

Of course attraction is important however in the past I've found myself attracted to men that I wouldn't have originally found attractive. I think its silly to put too much emphasis on looks. I'd hate for someone to consider me as a potential partner on the basis of my looks so I keep an open mind

Wompa1

indioblack wrote: »

I've a jaundiced view on this subject. An example may illustrate.
I've a friend who had two relationships - the men were complete swines.
When I asked her why some women gravitate towards "bad boys" she told me that women like to be excited. I thought, "if you want excitement, buy a motorbike".
She now has a relationship with a bit of a doormat - they're content, she's basically in control.

Might be psychological. They say women like bad boys because they want an alpha male and when they meet a guy that will dominate them they perceive him as being powerful. When in actual fact, in most cases the guy is a self centered p*ssy putting on a hard front.

Same with the whole women chase guys with money. Money is security and a man that can provide for a woman is an alpha male. I had this conversation a few times with girls. They wouldn't want to go out with somebody who was happy in a dead end job or just getting the dole because they want to be with somebody with drive. I couldn't give a toss about what a girl wants to do with her career. That's an individuals choice.

It's like doing your driving test. It's not enough to look at the mirrors you have to make it completely obvious. It seems as though women can't judge guys very well at all. They can't pick out the nice guys that are ambitious and properly tough. They have to go for the guys that put on the act for them.

Wee Willy Harris

And "nice guys" finish first. The guys who ultimately leave the woman seething and tattooing AMAB on her knuckles

People who buy into mere "good personality" with no other barometer to judge them by are suckers, let's just say that more than likely gettn the knickers charmed offa ya: just like the last. Just like the next

Wompa1

blacklilly wrote: »

Of course attraction is important however in the past I've found myself attracted to men that I wouldn't have originally found attractive. I think its silly to put too much emphasis on looks. I'd hate for someone to consider me as a potential partner on the basis of my looks so I keep an open mind

You're obviously a girl. I have a question for you. Just by my perception girls in their mid 20's and later still seem to be into famous guys to the point where the level of attraction seems obsessive. Posters of guys, having all of an actors movies, watching shows just because of a guy they find attractive etc. Where as with the guys my age that I know. I don't know any of them that would still have posters of women or really give a second thought to any actress, singer etc. Is it all girls that have their crushes on famous guys or just some that still want to be young?

Gongoozler

Wompa1 wrote: »

Oh Lord! There's no answer to this that a woman would accept in fairness. Nice guys are left on the shelf, every girl that says the most important thing is a good sense of humor or nice personality really means as long as they look good too of course. I can't go out with an ogre, what would the girls think?

I think there are two types of women: 1 type that actually thinks 'I can't go out with an ogre/bin man/guy that lives at home, what would the girls think?' and a second type who thinks nothing like this. As for proportions, I'm still working that out.

Wompa1 wrote: »

Same with the whole women chase guys with money. Money is security and a man that can provide for a woman is an alpha male. I had this conversation a few times with girls. They wouldn't want to go out with somebody who was happy in a dead end job or just getting the dole because they want to be with somebody with drive. I couldn't give a toss about what a girl wants to do with her career. That's an individuals choice.

I had a conversation a little while back about what's attractive about ambition, and we concluded that ambition actually equates to money. If you keep asking why to all the answers someone gives when they say 'it's not money, it's drive/passion/security etc'.

Considering I'm female, it was a sad conclusion about my gender. And I have to admit that I'm partially like that. I don't want gifts, or to go on crazy expensive holidays, but I find a man, who has the ability to provide that, attractive.

Anyway, I've veered off course now, so i'll shut up.

For supposed "nice guys", there's certainly a fair few bitter and twisted individuals in this thread.


"Yeah I'm a nice guy just these bítches can't see it!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fs_9dT1LCKY

EdenHazard

Some girls give me such a big head 'oh he's so hot' but they are all older, my sisters friends etc. But girls I know don't give me a look, 'he's so cute' ugh

tan11ie

EdenHazard wrote: »

Some girls give me such a big head 'oh he's so hot' but they are all older, my sisters friends etc. But girls I know don't give me a look, 'he's so cute' ugh

Awww how cute

Wee Willy Harris

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

For supposed "nice guys", there's certainly a fair few bitter and twisted individuals in this thread.

and celine dion springs to mind does it..

admit it; you are that "nice guy" aka utter bastard of a sleivìn if it means you come first - the cool dude w/ the aviator avatar.

MadMardegan

Guys with no confidence finish last.

Nice guys who can assert themselves get all the bitches!

tan11ie

I love nice guys, can't understand Girls/Women who go for p***ks at all!

starlit

MadMardegan wrote: »

Guys with no confidence finish last.

Nice guys who can assert themselves get all the bitches!

Ya but then some of them who do its just a front if they acting a certain way if full of themselves no matter how nice they are. Confidence is good but being over confident can be a bit fake and smug if you ask me. Some act nice to get what they want if they very assertive.

So few nice guys who are genuine and their true selves whether they being coy or not!

blacklilly

Wompa1 wrote: »

blacklilly wrote: »

Of course attraction is important however in the past I've found myself attracted to men that I wouldn't have originally found attractive. I think its silly to put too much emphasis on looks. I'd hate for someone to consider me as a potential partner on the basis of my looks so I keep an open mind

You're obviously a girl. I have a question for you. Just by my perception girls in their mid 20's and later still seem to be into famous guys to the point where the level of attraction seems obsessive. Posters of guys, having all of an actors movies, watching shows just because of a guy they find attractive etc. Where as with the guys my age that I know. I don't know any of them that would still have posters of women or really give a second thought to any actress, singer etc. Is it all girls that have their crushes on famous guys or just some that still want to be young?

Yes I'm female and in my mid twenties. I haven't had posters of famous "hot" guys in my room for a least ten years, none of my friends do either. Possibly the women you know are quite immature?
I have zero interest in famous men although i will comment if I think someone in a film is good looking, that goes for male or female actors.
I've never obsessed about any famous man actually,whats the point? I know plenty of men that are obsessed with numerous well known females and are convinced they will meet a woman who is a look a like etc.

Bipolar Joe

Something is unrealistic about the statistics in this thread, or we all got different interpretations of what is nice.

MadMardegan

doovdela wrote: »

MadMardegan wrote: »

Guys with no confidence finish last.

Nice guys who can assert themselves get all the bitches!

Ya but then some of them who do its just a front if they acting a certain way if full of themselves no matter how nice they are. Confidence is good but being over confident can be a bit fake and smug if you ask me. Some act nice to get what they want if they very assertive.

So few nice guys who are genuine and their true selves whether they being coy or not!

Oh definitely. There's a huge distinction between being confident and being cocky.

Jogathon

I like nice guys and have only ever gone out with nice guys. But then I'm a nice girl.

I do need someone that can stand up to me though cos I can get a bit bossy if I'm allowed away with it. But stand up to me in a normal, assertive manner, no drama or loud shouting. That would make me walk away. I hate loud fights.