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Man thinks he's Jesus

2»

Comments

  • #52
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    ShamoBuc wrote: »
    Nutter, everyone knows Jesus's hair is longer.
    That's according to the Catholic Church,

    There is no mention of him having long hair in scripture.


  • #53
    WumBuster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 827 ✭✭✭WumBuster


    Canis Lupus wrote: »
    Well if 2nd, 3rd and hell even 4th hand accounts are good enough for you then it's good enough for me!

    Good. well if the things that your parent/grandparents told you what happened to them/witnessed wasnt true in their lives, then you come from a strange genepool


  • #54
    crazy cabbage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 738 ✭✭✭crazy cabbage


    WumBuster wrote: »
    Well it was 2000 years ago, i dont think there are too many records about anything that happened then or before then. Most of the accounts that were recorded in the bible were either 2nd, 3rd or 4rth hand accounts of what happened and there seemed to be many of them.

    that is a reply waiting to be torn appart... no offense

    As for the mirracles. I agree that there is somethings that can be fully explained surrounding people who medatate ALOT (as in years). when i say cant be explained i mean can be explained yet. What religion someone is doesn't effect that.
    I garentee you that if anyone of us spend 20 years medatating away from society that we would be cappabale of alot more than we think. Jesus wan't that special. He just manage to garther followers.
    And as you say alot of what is in the bible is 2 or 3 or 4 accounts of what happened. As with anything the more times that something is retold the more exagrated that it gets.
    There is nothing that jesus done that cant be dont by everyone else if we really put our minds to it


  • #55
    Captain Darling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,542 ✭✭✭Captain Darling


    Run_to_da_hills wrote: »
    ShamoBuc wrote: »
    Nutter, everyone knows Jesus's hair is longer.
    That's according to the Catholic Church,

    There is no mention of him having long hair in scripture.
    Jesus rocked a quiff. Just like Morrissey.

    FACT.


  • #56
    Duggys Housemate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,298 ✭✭✭Duggys Housemate


    Run_to_da_hills wrote: »
    That's according to the Catholic Church,

    There is no mention of him having long hair in scripture.


    I'd say barbers were difficult to find for mendicants


  • #57
    Helix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,661 ✭✭✭✭Helix


    WumBuster wrote: »
    Well it was 2000 years ago, i dont think there are too many records about anything that happened then or before then. Most of the accounts that were recorded in the bible were either 2nd, 3rd or 4rth hand accounts edited by countless people to suit certain agendas, make money and increase power held by various churches

    fixed that to add in the bit that slipped your mind


  • #58
    Duggys Housemate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,298 ✭✭✭Duggys Housemate


    Helix wrote: »
    fixed that to add in the bit that slipped your mind

    You fixed it wrong. People believed the magical stuff long before Christianity came to power.


  • #59
    ArtSmart
    Registered Users Posts: 5,614 ✭✭✭ArtSmart


    it wont last.

    I give him 3 years. Tops.


  • #60
    Helix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,661 ✭✭✭✭Helix


    Duggys Housemate wrote: »
    You fixed it wrong. People believed the magical stuff long before Christianity came to power.

    where did i say they didnt?


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  • #61
    Canis Lupus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,893 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    WumBuster wrote: »
    Good. well if the things that your parent/grandparents told you what happened to them/witnessed wasnt true in their lives, then you come from a strange genepool

    My dad told me he got shot in the leg in the war. Turns out he fell off a bike.

    My own dad lied to me...


  • #62
    Duggys Housemate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,298 ✭✭✭Duggys Housemate


    Helix wrote: »
    where did i say they didnt?

    Don't make me quote your "fix", and we'll say no more about it.


  • #63
    Helix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,661 ✭✭✭✭Helix


    Duggys Housemate wrote: »
    Don't make me quote your "fix", and we'll say no more about it.

    no no, quote it. im curious as to where you're making such a dreadful reading error


  • #64
    Duggys Housemate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,298 ✭✭✭Duggys Housemate


    Helix wrote: »
    no no, quote it. im curious as to where you're making such a dreadful reading error

    This bit.

    re recorded in the bible were either 2nd, 3rd or 4rth hand accounts edited by countless people to suit certain agendas, make money and increase power held by various churches

    I've even boldified the bits you fixed, which you could've done. To be fair.


  • #65
    Corkfeen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,940 ✭✭✭Corkfeen


    Run_to_da_hills wrote: »
    ShamoBuc wrote: »
    Nutter, everyone knows Jesus's hair is longer.
    That's according to the Catholic Church,

    There is no mention of him having long hair in scripture.
    As an atheist, I have to ask, why the hell does his hair length matter to you?


  • #66
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,196 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    I am jesus, do you want to be Jesus. A lot of people had to die for me to be Jesus, you can't be Jesus.


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  • #67
    ArtSmart
    Registered Users Posts: 5,614 ✭✭✭ArtSmart


    in fairness he didn't realise he was Jesus straight away - it took a week.

    have to say, Mary M is super, super hot. (though Oz chicks tend to be) Is she still em, offering relief or has she changed her ways i wonder?


    people. fascinating creatures. and we see animals as a lower life form... lol.


  • #68
    ArtSmart
    Registered Users Posts: 5,614 ✭✭✭ArtSmart


    Corkfeen wrote: »
    As an atheist, I have to ask, why the hell does his hair length matter to you?

    As I satirist, I have to ask, why the hell would you ask that?

    ;)


  • #69
    Helix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,661 ✭✭✭✭Helix


    Duggys Housemate wrote: »
    This bit.

    re recorded in the bible were either 2nd, 3rd or 4rth hand accounts edited by countless people to suit certain agendas, make money and increase power held by various churches

    I've even boldified the bits you fixed, which you could've done. To be fair.

    yeah, i know what i wrote, but ive got no idea how that relates to what you said here:

    "You fixed it wrong. People believed the magical stuff long before Christianity came to power"

    nowhere in what i wrote suggests otherwise. i'm baffled as to how you decided it does. the guy was talking about the bible being 2nd, 3rd or 4th hand information, as if that was good enough. i was pointing out that it was 2nd, 3rd or 4th hand information twisted, edited and changed by countless people to suit agendas

    naer a mention of pre-christianity magic


  • #70
    Corkfeen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,940 ✭✭✭Corkfeen


    ArtSmart wrote: »
    Corkfeen wrote: »
    As an atheist, I have to ask, why the hell does his hair length matter to you?

    As I satirist, I have to ask, why the hell would you ask that?

    ;)
    Because RTDH promises unusual responses on all subjects (I'm also genuinely interested in the importance that he finds in this minor detail )... :P I've never been the subject of satire. I'm stepping up or down in the world, not sure which...

    Edit : My posts get really odd at night...


  • #71
    Duggys Housemate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,298 ✭✭✭Duggys Housemate


    Helix wrote: »
    yeah, i know what i wrote, but ive got no idea how that relates to what you said here:

    "You fixed it wrong. People believed the magical stuff long before Christianity came to power"

    nowhere in what i wrote suggests otherwise. i'm baffled as to how you decided it does. the guy was talking about the bible being 2nd, 3rd or 4th hand information, as if that was good enough. i was pointing out that it was 2nd, 3rd or 4th hand information twisted, edited and changed by countless people to suit agendas

    naer a mention of pre-christianity magic

    Where did I say anything about pre-Christian magic. I said people believed the magical stuff - I.e. about Jesus hence the definitive article - before Christianity came to power. It didn't come to power for centuries.


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  • #72
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    Simple test, give him jugs of water and tell him to change them into wine, shouldn't be too hard for the real Jesus. If he manages it then to be doubly sure give hims few loaves and fishes and get him to feed a multitude, this would be very simple stuff for the real Jesus. Oh yeah get him to speak Aramaic too.


  • #73
    Darkginger
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 695 ✭✭✭Darkginger


    Even if he is (which he isn't) Jesus - what's he come back for? To save us? Why the feck would he try to do that from New Zealand, of all places? I demand a local saviour, can't be doing with all this travelling. Damn hippies.


  • #74
    Helix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,661 ✭✭✭✭Helix


    Duggys Housemate wrote: »
    Where did I say anything about pre-Christian magic. I said people believed the magical stuff - I.e. about Jesus hence the definitive article - before Christianity came to power. It didn't come to power for centuries.

    yeah, and when it started to come to power the bible was changed to fit in with previous pagan beliefs to get people to join up. things like the date of christmas, the similarities with countless previous (and far more ancient) religions etc


  • #75
    Seaneh
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,300 ✭✭✭✭Seaneh


    There's another aussie nutter called Brian Leonard Golightly Marshall who's been saying the same thing for years, claims to have cured cancer and aids with "collided silver".

    I reckon the lack of substantial ozone gasses in the part of the world leads to the sun bruning their brains.


  • #76
    ArtSmart
    Registered Users Posts: 5,614 ✭✭✭ArtSmart


    Darkginger wrote: »
    Even if he is (which he isn't) Jesus - what's he come back for? To save us? Why the feck would he try to do that from New Zealand, of all places? I demand a local saviour, can't be doing with all this travelling. Damn hippies.

    Oz i thought? i think NZ is a bit small for that carry on. has to be a large landmass for that sorta craic to survive.


  • #77
    3rdDegree
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,263 ✭✭✭3rdDegree


    WumBuster wrote: »
    dlofnep wrote: »
    A delusional nutter, just like the first Jesus.

    Ok so the first Jesus was just a delusional nutter who performed many miracles witnessed by thousands of people in different locations

    There were LOTS of guys back then performing "miracles". Jesus just had the good luck of better press. If the Roman empire hadn't adopted Christianity as the official religion in the fourth century, we could all be worshipping some bloke called Simon now.

    Jesus was just another nutter preaching that the world was about to end. He made the very silly mistake of causing trouble in the temple during passover and got himself executed. Then the madness began....


  • #78
    southcentralts
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 833 ✭✭✭southcentralts


    jesus = cash

    in this day and age can we really beset this guy for capitalizing on that which generates great revenue?

    I too am jesus, please send me a cheque for €1,000 and I will personally cite your prayer directly to god, (actually I will spend your hard earned money on whiskey and gambling)(thank you).


  • #79
    WumBuster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 827 ✭✭✭WumBuster


    Canis Lupus wrote: »
    My dad told me he got shot in the leg in the war. Turns out he fell off a bike.

    My own dad lied to me...


    Really. thats horrible. sorry for your experience. Im sure if he or his dad witnessed miracles of Christ they would lie about that too. Some people, eh?


  • #80
    Napper Hawkins
    Registered Users Posts: 1,903 ✭✭✭Napper Hawkins


    If I witnessed the miracles of Christ firsthand I would lock him up in a cage and make him perform tricks for bread. He'd resent it at first but eventually he would learn to trust me. After the shootout and subsequent bloodshed, I'd ask J 2 da C to forgive ma bad self and all would be groovy, baby.


  • #81
    WumBuster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 827 ✭✭✭WumBuster


    Napper Hawkins wrote: »
    If I witnessed the miracles of Christ firsthand I would lock him up in a cage and make him perform tricks for bread. He'd resent it at first but eventually he would learn to trust me. After the shootout and subsequent bloodshed, I'd ask J 2 da C to forgive ma bad self and all would be groovy, baby.

    he'll forgive you. dats all you need to ask, baby


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  • #82
    Napper Hawkins
    Registered Users Posts: 1,903 ✭✭✭Napper Hawkins


    WumBuster wrote: »
    he'll forgive you. dats all you need to ask, baby

    Ah yeah, Christian logic. Be a dick your whole life, ask forgiveness in the end and you're off the hook.

    Enjoy meeting Hitler in heaven (he was catholic, assuming he actually asked for forgiveness) if you lot turn out to be right!


  • #83
    WumBuster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 827 ✭✭✭WumBuster


    Napper Hawkins wrote: »
    Ah yeah, Christian logic. Be a dick your whole life, ask forgiveness in the end and you're off the hook.

    Enjoy meeting Hitler in heaven if you lot turn out to be right!

    As long as you really mean it. Cant fool JC or the man above. :)


  • #84
    Napper Hawkins
    Registered Users Posts: 1,903 ✭✭✭Napper Hawkins


    WumBuster wrote: »
    As long as you really mean it. Cant fool JC or the man above. :)


    And if you do mean it? Everything's fine then?

    I understand that purgatory doesn't exist anymore according to the Roman no girls allowed club.

    So straight up to heaven ye go, never mind that genocide sure, he feels bad about it, poor lamb.


  • #85
    RebelSoul
    Registered Users Posts: 356 ✭✭RebelSoul


    Why does Jesus need glasses?


  • #86
    WumBuster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 827 ✭✭✭WumBuster


    Napper Hawkins wrote: »
    And if you do mean it? Everything's fine then?

    I understand that purgatory doesn't exist anymore according to the Roman no girls allowed club.

    So straight up to heaven ye go, never mind that genocide sure, he feels bad about it, poor lamb.

    If he genuinely feels bad about it and accepts he's done wrong to fellow man, then yeah of course. Christ dosent discriminate for people making mistakes in their lives whether it be from the influence of others or their own esteem/beliefs, if they're willing to admit those mistakes, there is salvation for every human soul. Absolutely.


  • #87
    Napper Hawkins
    Registered Users Posts: 1,903 ✭✭✭Napper Hawkins


    WumBuster wrote: »
    If he genuinely feels bad about it and accepts he's done wrong to fellow man, then yeah of course. Christ dosent discriminate for people making mistakes in their lives whether it be from the influence of others or their own esteem/beliefs, if they're willing to admit those mistakes, there is salvation for every human soul. Absolutely.

    Unbaptised babies too, yeah?


  • #88
    WumBuster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 827 ✭✭✭WumBuster


    Napper Hawkins wrote: »
    Unbaptised babies too, yeah?

    Yeah, of course


  • #89
    Canis Lupus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,893 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    WumBuster wrote: »
    Really. thats horrible. sorry for your experience. Im sure if he or his dad witnessed miracles of Christ they would lie about that too. Some people, eh?

    I'm curious about the following:

    I see someone tomorrow perform an astounding, logic defying thing and I can not explain how it was done. Based on my account was that person A: a miracle performer or B: a magician.

    You are very very likely to say B

    Now if I increase the size of the audience to 100, 1000 or more and not a single person can explain how the act was done does this validate A for you ie we witnessed a miracle?


  • #90
    Helix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,661 ✭✭✭✭Helix


    WumBuster wrote: »
    If he genuinely feels bad about it and accepts he's done wrong to fellow man, then yeah of course. Christ dosent discriminate for people making mistakes in their lives whether it be from the influence of others or their own esteem/beliefs, if they're willing to admit those mistakes, there is salvation for every human soul. Absolutely.

    you left out the part where he only offers salvation to those who bow down before him and his tyrant father


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