Most Useless Profession

boo3000

Ok i don't know how many of ye are familiar with the book 'A Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' (it's brilliant) but there's an idea in there that one third of a societies professions are unnecessary and we should get rid of them. In the book they're tricked to boarding a space ark and shot out to space never to be seen again.

I'm up for it if ye are. But who should we send? For me it's lawyers, they do nothing for society but translate arguments into and out of legal speak and charge a fortune for it. We don't need them, goodbye.

I know there's been a thread here recently; most hated professions. But just to clarify this isn't about who you hate, it's about who we don't need. For example, i might hate doctors (i don't) but i still recognise the need for them.

Oh and please explain why the profession is useless, even if it may seem self explanatory (HR is it?).

El Guapo!

Members of the Seanad

phasers

Milkmen. Just walk to the shop yourself you lazy cnuts.

flyswatter

Psychics.

crazy cabbage

Seriously. Proberly the people who follow celebs around and write about everything little thing they do and publish it in newspapers

This is closly followed by the clebs themsleves

JupiterKid

Public Relations - basically bull**** artists and spin merchants who
have made politicians and celebrties believe that they "need" them to have the right "image" in the fickle media.

CavanCrew

Forum Admin.............. Coughhhh.

Jesus Shaves

Weathermen/women

vicwatson

phasers wrote: »

Milkmen. Just walk to the shop yourself you lazy cnuts.

Professional Milkmen. LOL :rolleyes:

MrStuffins

Life Coaches!! :rolleyes:

Where To

Taxi drivers.

Scioch

Priests.

ITS_A_BADGER

telesales people! especailly the cnuts the call you up or come to your door

MrStuffins

ITS_A_BADGER wrote: »

telesales people! especailly the cnuts the call you up or come to your door

Hang on........ they come to your door and then ring you? Or do they ring you first and then come to your door while on the phone?

Bad Panda

Film critics.

Only one thing worse - people who think they're critics.

MarkHitide

Governmental departments' PR professionals-

MrStuffins

flyswatter wrote: »

Psychics.

I knew you were gonna say that

rusty_racer94

Art critics.

mikom

Governments shills.
They walk these boards.......

Tea_Bag

priests/monks/missionaries etc.

actually just religion.

L.Jenkins

flyswatter wrote: »

Psychics.

Bet they didn't see that coming. Honestly, I'd get rid of Priests. I know there's more we could eject into space.

brummytom

Whoever it is that decided all wet floors needed to have a sign saying 'wet floor' on them.
If you can't look at a floor and tell it's wet, you deserve to fall on your arse.

ITS_A_BADGER

ITS_A_BADGER wrote: »

telesales people! especailly the cnuts the call you up or come to your door

MrStuffins wrote: »

Hang on........ they come to your door and then ring you? Or do they ring you first and then come to your door while on the phone?

If you bothered to see i used OR meaning one or the other :rolleyes:

K.Flyer

crazy cabbage wrote: »

Seriously. Proberly the people who follow celebs around and write about everything little thing they do and publish it in newspapers

This is closly followed by the clebs themsleves

And then throw in the people who buy to read and hang on every word and picture in same said newspapers and magazines.

LoanShark

X Factor judges.. And X Factor contestants..


The man that drives the Gatso van..

admiralofthefleet

these feng shui 'experts'. the people who hire them deserve to be ripped off

TPD

Telephone Sanitizers.

Just finished re watching the old series, one for the coincidence thread maybe...

mike65

boo3000 wrote: »

Ok i don't know how many of ye are familiar with the book 'A Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' (it's brilliant) but there's an idea in there that one third of a societies professions are unnecessary and we should get rid of them. In the book they're tricked to boarding a space ark and shot out to space never to be seen again.

[pedant alert] Alas if only this were true, the whole joke about the Golgafrincham Ark B was that it contained the people who go on to populate Planet Earth.[/pedant alert]

Ficheall

boo3000 wrote: »

Ok i don't know how many of ye are familiar with the book 'A Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' ...

Actually, the Golgafrinchams feature in the sequel, "The Restaurant At The End of the Universe".
:rolleyes:
:P

boo3000 wrote: »

(it's brilliant)

This bit is absolutely correct.

Robert McGrath

boo3000 wrote: »

Ok i don't know how many of ye are familiar with the book 'A Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' (it's brilliant) but there's an idea in there that one third of a societies professions are unnecessary and we should get rid of them. In the book they're tricked to boarding a space ark and shot out to space never to be seen again.

I'm up for it if ye are. But who should we send? For me it's lawyers, they do nothing for society but translate arguments into and out of legal speak and charge a fortune for it. We don't need them, goodbye.

I know there's been a thread here recently; most hated professions. But just to clarify this isn't about who you hate, it's about who we don't need. For example, i might hate doctors (i don't) but i still recognise the need for them.

Oh and please explain why the profession is useless, even if it may seem self explanatory (HR is it?).

I know this is AH but ...

In a democratic society you will need criminal and civil law to regulate behaviour and contracts etc

There will inevitably be some ambiguities in that law that need to be decided on by an appointed referee or judge

The law is inevitably complicated at times because human behaviour is complicated and it is right that people should not be sent to prison on a whim

Not everybody can be an expert on the law (in the same way not everybody can be an expert in medicine) so we need those who are expert to represent our interests.

TL;DR version: Lawyers are a necessary by-product of a peaceful democratic society

Agree with you on the Hitchhiker's Guide, though ... Great read

mike65

Is fluffer a profession or a perk?

racso1975

Clamper

MrStuffins

mike65 wrote: »

Is fluffer a profession or a perk?

The perks only appear if you're doing your job right!

Shryke

Pundits.

Some middle management exist to do nothing. Fob this off, blame someone else for that, do 10 minutes paperwork and then hide in the office for an hour, brown nose superiors, go home complaining about your job.

Clowns. The only skill they are meant to have is to make people laugh. Anyone that isn't seemingly afraid of them is depressed by them.

mikemac1

Human Resources

Backstabbing fookers who would screw you over to protect the company

When HR smile and tell you their door is always open and they want to hear your issues then you should stay away!

EoghanIRL

Psychics ... Tv3 ones especially

Giselle

Reality television stars and 90% of radio hosts, weather presenters, chuggers, 90% of 'Elf and Safety types, 90% of quangos and focus groups, and half the civil service.

boo3000

Robert McGrath wrote: »

In a democratic society you will need criminal and civil law to regulate behaviour and contracts etc

Well if you say so.

Robert McGrath wrote: »

Not everybody can be an expert on the law (in the same way not everybody can be an expert in medicine) so we need those who are expert to represent our interests.

I've been wondering why I hadn't been called to a jury in a hospital lately. Should we operate? All in favor say ai

Robert McGrath wrote: »

The law is inevitably complicated at times because human behaviour is complicated and it is right that people should not be sent to prison on a whim

Are you saying we need lawyers so that people don't get to prison on a whim (i don't see why) or because they have a greater understanding of human behaviour? How?

I can see the need for a judge in some matters (i didn't mean lawyer in this widest sense) but i still think that we could manage just fine without solicitors, barristers etc. I don't buy this whole argument that the law is so complicated only they can understand it, surely at this stage we can develop a code of law that a lay person can comprehend.

Pherekydes

Food critics: You can't eat that: it's not good food.

Me: I've eaten it, so fcuk off and die.

ArtSmart

mike65 wrote: »

Is fluffer a profession or a perk?

Neither. (/both)


for me it Poets. fuk off an get a REAL job.

nacimroc

Estate agents! Professional keyholders, thieving scumbag keyholders is all they are!

BFB

The entire casts of Eastenders/Corrie/Hollyoaks..etc oh and Xposé.

Also people who blatantly open their car doors in carparks and smack it off your car...grrr!

boo3000

Robert McGrath wrote: »

Not everybody can be an expert on the law (in the same way not everybody can be an expert in medicine) so we need those who are expert to represent our interests.

What happened to the patient?

He Died.

Yes (sigh) his illness could afford a better team of experts.....

Buskers

DEFTLEFTHAND

boo3000 wrote: »

What happened to the patient?

He Died.

Yes (sigh) his illness could afford a better team of experts.....

Who do you suggest we replace our court officers with? You could argue that any human being could become proficient in any profession if they dedicate years of time and practice to it.

boo3000

Well im making the point that comparing law to medicine isn't comparing like to like.

I don't see the need to have experts in law. If we had a code of laws that could be comprehended by lay people there would be no need for experts.

As it stands we just have an unnecessary group of people who translate arguments in and out of legal speak. Lawyers, to the space ship.

When i hear court officer i think of the guy that does the typing, do they charge 200 quid an hour as well?

Blondini

Teachers and they're holideys ....
Oh yeah



















(i is 1 innit)

boo3000

Blondini wrote: »

Teachers and they're holideys ....
Oh yeah

(i is 1 innit)

Blondini, spaceship for you. I'll tell you what tho, you can have a window seat for fessing up

Kerrigooney

I`m a carpenter and at the moment it`s feeling like a useless profession because there`s no bloody work to be had.

DEFTLEFTHAND

boo3000 wrote: »

Well im making the point that comparing law to medicine isn't comparing like to like.

I don't see the need to have experts in law. If we had a code of laws that could be comprehended by lay people there would be no need for experts.

As it stands we just have an unnecessary group of people who translate arguments in and out of legal speak. Lawyers, to the space ship.

When i hear court officer i think of the guy that does the typing, do they charge 200 quid an hour as well?

A broad legal knowledge is not something a person can acquire overnight, You're talking about a vast diverse subject with many different facets and areas of expertise which people build careers specialising in alone. I don't think it's realistic to suggest that centuries of the common law can be whittled down to the bare bones. What will happen in criminal law for instance, who will defend and prosecute?

On a side note the legal profession is currently on it's knee's in this country, particularly at solicitor. Sole practitioners have seen a 60% decrease in earnings per annum and countless solicitors are unemployed. So in Ireland at least the profession is not the golden goose you seem to think it is.

Topper Harley

boo3000 wrote: »

For me it's lawyers, they do nothing for society but translate arguments into and out of legal speak and charge a fortune for it. We don't need them, goodbye.

boo3000 wrote: »

I don't see the need to have experts in law. If we had a code of laws that could be comprehended by lay people there would be no need for experts.

As it stands we just have an unnecessary group of people who translate arguments in and out of legal speak. Lawyers, to the space ship.

When i hear court officer i think of the guy that does the typing, do they charge 200 quid an hour as well?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u9JAt6gFqM