secret few days away from wife and kid

Goat the dote

Is she away right now? Wasn't clear in the OP.
If shes away right now id wait til she's home. Could you get any proof other than this thread?
She may not believe (or want to believe) without proof.
If I was her I'd need to know.

mauzo

Knex. wrote: »

I BET you chuckled away to yourself as you typed that didn't you

Ive laughed out loud at least 4 times on this thread.....

I feel sorry for the girl in question of course, but the replies here are absolutely hilarious!

monkeysnapper

Knex. wrote: »

I BET you chuckled away to yourself as you typed that didn't you

i did actually,

Knex*

At the end of the day, it may not matter. OP sounds like he will probably put an album up on Facebook entitled "Up the Dam without a wife" or something and get caught anyways :pac:

IvySlayer

But what if calls home?

kfallon

monkeysnapper wrote: »

come on lads, lets all have a boardie holiday to the dam together , ill bring my bucket, op is bringing his spade, cause he's gona be doing some serious digging soon lol

Sounds like he's just dug his grave with his prick tbh :pac:

Knex*

kfallon wrote: »

Sounds like he's just dug his grave with his prick tbh :pac:

For some mentally absurd reason, I just thought of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDe8KwmOjuo

mauzo

Knex. wrote: »

For some mentally absurd reason, I just thought of this

Funny, I thought of this
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wife-cuts-off-husbands-penis-throws-garbage-disposal/story?id=14055080


After she laced her husband's food with an unknown drug or poison, he lay down, believing something was wrong with the food, according to police reports. Her husband then woke up tied to the bed as Becker cut off his penis with a knife. She then threw the genitalia in the garbage disposal and turned the disposal on, Lt. Jeff Nightengale of Garden Grove, Calif. police, said.

up for anything

Knex. wrote: »

Hard to say really isn't it. I think I wouldn't mention anything until she comes back anyway, she's taking a break to Spain to see her parents and doesn't need this hanging over her.

And then again it might be the best time to tell her. At least she'd have the familiarity of home and the support of her family.

Nulty

syndeyfife wrote: »

I only said this the other day on here, YOU NEVER LEAVE THE POPCORN!! Seriously I go to the cinema for the popcorn not the movie!!

You know there's a 90% markup on popcorn in cinemas. You are getting mugged every time.

Pj!

Nulty wrote: »

You know there's a 90% markup on popcorn in cinemas. You are getting mugged every time.

You are born with no money and you bring no money with you when you die.
In that bit in between, a person needs cinema popcorn.

Eggonyerface

Pj! wrote: »

Nulty wrote: »

You know there's a 90% markup on popcorn in cinemas. You are getting mugged every time.

You are born with no money and you bring no money with you when you die.
In that bit in between, a person needs cinema popcorn.

Xtravision popcorn is tasty too, I pop down while my film is downloading

Knex*

syndeyfife wrote: »

Funny, I thought of this
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wife-cuts-off-husbands-penis-throws-garbage-disposal/story?id=14055080


After she laced her husband's food with an unknown drug or poison, he lay down, believing something was wrong with the food, according to police reports. Her husband then woke up tied to the bed as Becker cut off his penis with a knife. She then threw the genitalia in the garbage disposal and turned the disposal on, Lt. Jeff Nightengale of Garden Grove, Calif. police, said.

Jaysus :eek:

God help the fella that crosses you anyway!

cruais

sancho panza wrote: »

eh 2 things.

dont know who the **** your referring to in regard to the hanging stuff but it aint me. and slagging someone about a potential suicide scenario only re-iterates why your more than likely at home on your own on a friday night. good lad.

i used to live in the dam and have enjoyed its pleasures quite a number of times before. truth is i just fancy a few days away from the domestic situation and the fact it is amsterdam is why i'm not especially vocal in letting my wife know.

anyways thanks for the insights.

and when it comes to hookers , always double bag it!

Hello prince charming...:rolleyes: your wife must be so lucky!

Call me Al

Sure tell her why don't you! I am sure she would be relieved in hindsight. She is definitely better off to know you are a currently a prize asshole.
but does this doesn't come a surprise to her?

Bad Panda

sancho panza wrote: »

eh 2 things.

dont know who the **** your referring to in regard to the hanging stuff but it aint me. and slagging someone about a potential suicide scenario only re-iterates why your more than likely at home on your own on a friday night. good lad.

i used to live in the dam and have enjoyed its pleasures quite a number of times before. truth is i just fancy a few days away from the domestic situation and the fact it is amsterdam is why i'm not especially vocal in letting my wife know.

anyways thanks for the insights.

and when it comes to hookers , always double bag it!

Knex. wrote: »

That's possibly even more stupid than your trip to Amsterdam tbh.

Yeah, even one rubber is enough to lessen sensitivity.

RumDrinker

sancho panza wrote: »

is it sketchy that I've booked a few days away while my wife goes to see her parents in spain and her with the kid in tow?
she doesnt know and i dont really fancy telling her.


I should add, i'm going to amsterdam for the few days :pac:

Nice one man, I do the same from time to time. I'm happy, she's happy - everyone's happy.

MaxSteele

Sauve, get off that wine bottle, go to bed and sober up.

No one likes a taddle tale :cool:

Sar_Bear

Sauve, tell her. She will more than likely find out anyway, and if she finds out you knew & let her find out the hard way, things will be even worse for her (and you)

On a comedy level - best thread ever

In reality - so shítty he would do that to his wife

Galwayguy35

Sauve wrote: »

One of my best mates is Spanish. Has a small child. Told me recently that she's going home for a few days soon.
Hmmmmmm......

So you have a Spanish friend who has a kid and she is taking a holiday.
Sure there is probably loads of people in the country to fit that description.
Unless I'm missing something here I don't see how you can be certain that the OP is your friends husband on an internet forum where no one knows another posters identity.

Canis Lupus

OP your wife isn't a really poor speller called Celina by any chance?

EDIT: I've just scanned the thread rather than reading it all but where's the suggestion that the husband is off on a hooker fu*kfest? You could just as easily get an escort in Ireland if you were prostitute cheating inclined.

Maybe he's just gonna go smoke his face off. I will lol my face off if Suave ruins someones holiday/marriage by accusing the wrong person.

Kirby

Random person claims they are cheating on their wife with hookers in Amsterdam while she goes away.

Less than three minutes after the initial post, the best friend of said wife just happens to be a boardsie and just happens to be on AH at the exact time to see the post. After some brilliant detective skills she deduces that the random namer is her mates husband, to the hilarity of the forum.

Come on guys. How has nobody else called bullsh*t on this in over 5 pages?

eternal

So what if he is going to shag hookers, just shows he can't pick someone up over here. AND hookers in Amsterdam are checked regularly for diseases, it is much safer to be with them than than any random woman. I have just totally argued myself out of a couple of points there but just try and follow.

Canis Lupus

Kirby wrote: »

Random person claims they are cheating on their wife with hookers in Amsterdam while she goes away.

Less than three minutes after the initial post, the best friend of said wife just happens to be a boardsie and just happens to be on AH at the exact time to see the post. After some brilliant detective skills she deduces that the random namer is her mates husband, to the hilarity of the forum.

Come on guys. How has nobody else called bullsh*t on this in over 5 pages?

I guess the night shift aren't as on the ball.

CruelCoin

sancho panza wrote: »

is it sketchy that I've booked a few days away while my wife goes to see her parents in spain and her with the kid in tow?
she doesnt know and i dont really fancy telling her.


I should add, i'm going to amsterdam for the few days :pac:

Pity. Amsterdam now is a shadow of its former self, and will only get worse as they clamp down further.

But if thats not what you're going for, then the canal trips, Van Gogh museum, Madame Tusauds, are all great.

The central park has lots of live music events this time of year, and the central squares are full of little cafe's filled with beers you'll never have heard of before.

Enjoy OP. She enjoys her time away, why shouldn't you?

Gummy Panda

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Kirby wrote: »

Random person claims they are cheating on their wife with hookers in Amsterdam while she goes away.

Less than three minutes after the initial post, the best friend of said wife just happens to be a boardsie and just happens to be on AH at the exact time to see the post. After some brilliant detective skills she deduces that the random namer is her mates husband, to the hilarity of the forum.

Come on guys. How has nobody else called bullsh*t on this in over 5 pages?

I guess the night shift aren't as on the ball.

I didn't want to ruin their fun

Kirby

Well, he hasn't posted since so I assume he had his fun.

ejmaztec

If this were some porn movie, the OP would arrive in Amsterdam to see his missus sitting in a window.

jesus_thats_gre

Kirby wrote: »

Well, he hasn't posted since so I assume he had his fun.

6 pages isn't much of an achievement though, is it?

Disturbingly, it is crazy to see just how little evidence is needed for some people to draw major conclusions from and essentially recommend ruining someones marriage.

CodyJarrett

jesus_thats_gre wrote: »

6 pages isn't much of an achievement though, is it?

Two, if you're doing it right.

Shryke

CodyJarrett wrote: »

Two, if you're doing it right.

You're cool.

wilkie2006

grindle wrote: »

If you're going for prozzies, I hope the connie bursts, along with the tip of your glans.

Enjoy the herpetic reward!

Jesus! He just said he's going away for a few days - no mention of hookers. Cynical or what!

Sar_Bear

Look if he was just going for a relaxing few days & not to do anything shady, he'd be able to tell his wife, which he isn't, and he obviously knows how bad that is by looking for justification from randomers on the internet.

Sauve

I scared him off. :cool:
/thread

tee hee hee

GerM

A lot of women wouldn't be overly enthused by their husbands going on a lads weekend to Amsterdam regardless of whether they'll be behaving themselves or not because of the sex industry that exists in Holland. He could well be just looking for a few days away for beers and a joint.

crazy cabbage

Wow. If this is real this is some coincidance.

First off sauve, does your friend have a son or daughter? If son, we can all stop talking becouse this isn't real.

Wouldn't like to be in your shoes sauve.



And OP. Why wern't you just open with your wife. Even you just went for art gallieries and the musiems and getting stoned and your wife believed you, dont you think she would still be angry that you didn't tell her?

wouldn't like to be in your shoes either. All i can say is that if you are from the sligo region i would either tell your wife ASAP or cancle the tickets now.

Edit: If you are from sligo region i would still say you are not. Never know. It might throw sauve off your tail :rolleyes:

2BT

Think its a bit late now. What will be will be.

If Sauve asks her mate if:
- Her other half hates Elton John
- The child had Chicken Pox last month
- They went to see Monsters together in the cinema

............the OP is pretty much snookered.

Gummy Panda

Sauve wrote: »

I scared him off. :cool:
/thread

tee hee hee

Meanie :mad:

Sauve

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Meanie :mad:

/scratches GPs' belly.

Friends?

Sar_Bear

Did you decide what to do, Suave?

Fupping Grasshole

:rolleyes:

Sauve

Sar_Bear wrote: »

Did you decide what to do, Suave?

Kirby wrote: »

Random person claims they are cheating on their wife with hookers in Amsterdam while she goes away.

Less than three minutes after the initial post, the best friend of said wife just happens to be a boardsie and just happens to be on AH at the exact time to see the post. After some brilliant detective skills she deduces that the random namer is her mates husband, to the hilarity of the forum.

Come on guys. How has nobody else called bullsh*t on this in over 5 pages?

Sauve wrote: »

I scared him off. :cool:
/thread

tee hee hee

Seriously everyone.... facepalm.

mauzo

Sauve wrote: »

Sar_Bear wrote: »

Did you decide what to do, Suave?

Kirby wrote: »

Random person claims they are cheating on their wife with hookers in Amsterdam while she goes away.

Less than three minutes after the initial post, the best friend of said wife just happens to be a boardsie and just happens to be on AH at the exact time to see the post. After some brilliant detective skills she deduces that the random namer is her mates husband, to the hilarity of the forum.

Come on guys. How has nobody else called bullsh*t on this in over 5 pages?

Sauve wrote: »

I scared him off. :cool:
/thread

tee hee hee

Seriously everyone.... facepalm.

You just ruined my Saturday

crazy cabbage

Sauve wrote: »

Seriously everyone.... facepalm.

Hahahaha you had us going there :P
Op is proberly still sh1ting bricks

Sauve

Real Life

well played

ICANN

I just read these last 7 pages for nothing.


Suave will pay for this :mad:

Ms.M

Sancho panza has had his good username sullied! :mad:



And I wanted to see what happened.

Cantona's Collars

Is the op yer man that got into sh1t for wrecking Treacy's hotel in Waterford on his stag??

grindle

wilkie2006 wrote: »

Jesus! He just said he's going away for a few days - no mention of hookers. Cynical or what!

Oh, he's only going away for a few days? Sher, he can tell his lady, so...