Funny things you did as a child!

Barbieliveshere

After Biggins posted up about his daughter having a foam party in the sitting room i thought about funny things i did as a child. When i was a kid we used to have 4 goldfish and naturally the water gets dirty. I overheard my mam saying how she needed to clean out the fish which i took literally, and to save her some time i picked up our fish and gave them a good scrub with some soap! They didn't last long after that.

Anyone else have any funny stories about when they were kids? :pac:

Biggins

Stupidly gave myself electric shocks as a kid (open lamp bulb sockets for example).
Sticking fingers into places where a wise person wouldn't.
I was a plonker! (yes, I probably still am - had to say that before my wife posts it!)

callaway92

Took toast out of the toaster by sticking a knife into the center of the crust.

Where To

Make cakes out of marley and eat them.

Barbieliveshere

Where To wrote: »

Make cakes out of marley and eat them.

What's Marley?

Where To

Barbieliveshere wrote: »

Where To wrote: »

Make cakes out of marley and eat them.

What's Marley?

Plastiscine (sp?)

We used to play with it until Santa came with Lego.

J. Marston

I remember climbing up on the kitchen cabinets when I was around 5 or 6 and drinking around half a bottle of some cough medicine that I was on. Dunno how I managed to open it. Anyway, it tasted lovely.

Mammy wasn't impressed when she walked in and saw what I was doing.

Barbieliveshere

J. Marston wrote: »

I remember climbing up on the kitchen cabinets when I was around 5 or 6 and drinking around half a bottle of some cough medicine that I was on. Dunno how I managed to open it. Anyway, it tasted lovely.

Mammy wasn't impressed when she walked and saw what I was doing.

If it was the purple calpol I don't blame you that stuff is delicious!

J. Marston

Barbieliveshere wrote: »

If it was the purple calpol I don't blame you that stuff is delicious!

Wasn't Calpol, it was some clear liquid. Tasted kinda like Lemonade.

But yes, Calpol is pinky/purple goodness.

meoklmrk91

I used to call the priest God, whenever we saw him I would be all like "Hello God" this went in for quite a while when I was around 3\4.

Biggins

meoklmrk91 wrote: »

I used to call the priest God, whenever we saw him I would be all like "Hello God" this went in for quite a while when I was around 3\4.

To be fair, a select few probably went about as if they were!

civis_liberalis

J. Marston wrote: »

But yes, Calpol is pinky/purple goodness.

I dunno am I mixing up with something else, but I think I hated calpol. Benelyn (sp) was lovely though

Stupid thing I did...

Following the neighbours dog just to see where he was going, down the (country) road to the very busy main road. I was noticed missing nearly straight away and my father caught up to me at the main road. I spooked and ran right across the road. If it had been a couple of seconds later, I would have been run over by a concrete lorry.

In my defence, I was very young.

meoklmrk91

Biggins wrote: »

To be fair, a select few probably went about as if they were!

I had completely forgotton this until recently when my mother old me, apparently he would reply "I'm not God, but I'm like him" :eek:. Still be actually a really nice man.

Duff

When I was 7 I strapped four squealers (fireworks) to my skateboard and tried to propel myself down by drive way. Burned ankle, grased body and a burst ear drum later I learned my lesson.

FatherLen

Duff wrote: »

When I was 7 I strapped four squealers (fireworks) to my skateboard and tried to propel myself down by drive way. Burned ankle, grased body and a burst ear drum later I learned my lesson.

did it work?

Duff

FatherLen wrote: »

did it work?

Did it WHAT?! The skateboard was last seen over Roswell, New Mexico.

Brendog

Not really funny, but when I was in 2nd class I made about 10 pounds from other kids in the class by eating horrible food concoctions at lunch.
The worst being yoghurt, mars bar and crushed tayto in a ham sandwich.

Who needs friends when you have money?

hefferboi

J. Marston wrote: »

Wasn't Calpol, it was some clear liquid. Tasted kinda like Lemonade.

But yes, Calpol is pinky/purple goodness.

Ventolin?? I used to love it!


When my brother was about 5 he went missing for the day. We couldn't find him anywhere and when it got dark we were sh!tting it. He arrived in the front door at about 7 in the evening and was all cut up with bits of trees hanging of him. When quizzed as to where he was all day he said, "I was off fighting the boogey man. He's dead now".

padd b1975

hefferboi wrote: »

Ventolin??

Venos possibly??

I used to tie a tea towel around my neck and pretend I was superman.:cool:

boomkatalog

My mam was painting the sitting room one day when I walk into the room with a question. 'Mom, what's peas berry chew?' Mom, distracted: 'hmmm?' I say it again. Mom: 'I don't know love, where did you hear it?' Me: 'you know at mass when you're shaking hands with someone and you say it?'

She nearly fell off the ladder laughing. I'd been saying it a couple years to people at that stage.

Myself and the brother also played with matches when we were maybe 3 and 4, parents still in bed, brother dropped one that burned his finger on to the floor and singed a hole right bang in the middle of the sitting room carpet. We pushed the armchair into the middle of the room so she wouldn't notice :rolleyes:

southcentralts

After a lesson on road safety, I was walking down the road to the shop. I heard a car coming and noticed it was my teacher. Panicked by being caught walking on the wrong side of the road, I darted across in front of her car, causing her to swerve into the ditch. But at least I remembered which side of the road to walk on.

Eve_Dublin

Myself and my friend used to put on about 10 coats each and pretend we were Rosanne and Dan Barr and kiss each other with a book between our faces. Pair of weirdos. We haven't spoken of that time since....

OneArt

When I was about 5/6 my parents taught me how to make a cup of tea so they didn't have to get out of bed in the morning and make it themselves.

When I put the sugar in and stirred it, I used to imagine it was that scene in the Rescuers where Penny had to go into the cave to get the diamond and the water turned into a whirlpool and she started drowning. I would accompany it by yelling, "Penny, no! Save me!" as I stirred.

Cee-Jay-Cee

When I was about 7 or 8 I spotted my grandad drop his cigarette outside, I waited till he walked on and picked it up and went into the garage and closed the door behind me. I took a few pulls from it, choked and threw it in behind 4 or 5 rolls of insulation for attics and left the garage. I went back in about 15 minutes later to get my bike and discovered the garage filled with smoke, I opened the door and insulation burst into flames. I ran to get my dad and he put the flames out with the garden hose. The flames had melted the felt on the garage ceiling (flat roof) and there was a gaping hole in it. I don't think I got punished as they were just relieved I didn't burn the house down which was attached the garage.

Ms.M

I was starving, "stole" a slice of bread from the kitchen, scoffed it, got overwhelmed with guilt, couldn't speak a word to anyone all day, and then sobbed myself to sleep.

Seems funny now.:o

Wurly

When I was younger, I had this drink bottle that I used to bring to school. As I loved the berry flavoured kia ora, the bottle sported a few purple stains along the edges over time.

On the day of the school tour in 4th class, I decided that I wanted to bring milk with me that day.:) But my bottle was all stained so I put about half a bottle of fairy liquid in it to try and get rid of it. I was shaking and shaking the bottle for ages.

In a mad moment, I looked at the green colour of the liquid in the bottle and thought 'I bet that tastes lovely' and I drank loads of it. When I stopped, I couldn't breathe and my mother was screaming shouting at me, telling me I was an eejit. The funniest part was alternating between trying to defend myself and crying with loads of bubbles coming out of my mouth.:pac:

It was awful...and I never got that feckin' bottle clean.:)

CodyJarrett

Whenever I was alone with a stranger for a few moments when I was a kid and just before my parents came back in the room, I would dive into their lap and shove a remote control up my ass for the lols.

mauzo

When I was about 7 I got off the wrong side of my brothers motor bike and my knee got stuck to the exhaust, still have a scar on my knee.
Another time I was on the back going around a roundabout and I convinced myself we were going to topple over, so I put my foot on the ground and lost a shoe

In dublin zoo I lost a shoe in the lake, that was last year though. I lost a shoe on the Viking splash tour when I was younger, and another one in the pond beside our house.

My mum used to always say if you come home without a shoe today and I'm going to cut your leg off and hit you with the soggy end.

Biggins

I was stupid to do many things as a kid.
Eating rubbers (no, not condoms!), tasting wallpaper paste (YUCK!) and jumping off stuff that was far too high, too many times.
What can you do but live and learn!

biko

Biggins wrote: »

Stupidly gave myself electric shocks as a kid (open lamp bulb sockets for example).
Sticking fingers into places where a wise person wouldn't.
I was a plonker! (yes, I probably still am - had to say that before my wife posts it!)

I did that too, sticking my finger in door jams. Got hurt a few times too.
For a while I had an obsession with knots and ropes (was in the scouts) and once tied my mums car to a fence. When she drove off she ripped the fence off. Not a happy camper.

fasttalkerchat

Brendog wrote: »

Not really funny, but when I was in 2nd class I made about 10 pounds from other kids in the class by eating horrible food concoctions at lunch.
The worst being yoghurt, mars bar and crushed tayto in a ham sandwich.

Who needs friends when you have money?

I know a lad who did that at uni.

fasttalkerchat

hefferboi wrote: »

Ventolin?? I used to love it!


When my brother was about 5 he went missing for the day. We couldn't find him anywhere and when it got dark we were sh!tting it. He arrived in the front door at about 7 in the evening and was all cut up with bits of trees hanging of him. When quizzed as to where he was all day he said, "I was off fighting the boogey man. He's dead now".

The next morning the local pervert was found dead.

Biggins

biko wrote: »

I did that too, sticking my finger in door jams. Got hurt a few times too.
For a while I had an obsession with knots and ropes (was in the scouts) and once tied my mums car to a fence. When she drove off she ripped the fence off. Not a happy camper.

I'd say there was no camping indeed for a while! LOL

I stupidly as a kid, jumped into my dad's car and let off the handbreak.
I thought I could drive!
Don't know what the hell I was thinking!
Thankfully the car was on an even drive way and went nowhere.
Scared the crap out of my dad though! I was an idiot!

Sorry dad!

herisson

I was a demonic child!

For some reason i had this fascination with trying to hurt my sister! I was 1 she was 5! I was in one of those baby walkers and my sister used to try play with me but i kept trying to pull her eye out every single time she came near me! I also bumped into people a lot with them!

When i was left in my high chair i used to grab the rolls of tin foil and smack people across the head with it when they came near me :pac:

I had an obsession with the stairs aswell and one day i got my head stuck in the banisters and my dad had to cut me free

Kerrigooney

biko wrote: »

I did that too, sticking my finger in door jams. Got hurt a few times too.
For a while I had an obsession with knots and ropes (was in the scouts) and once tied my mums car to a fence. When she drove off she ripped the fence off. Not a happy camper.

That is fantastic:D

I don`t remember this but my mother told me when I was about 3/4 I used to sleepwalk.

She heard me in the kitchen one night,walked in and found me pissing into a bowl of jelly in the fridge.

Biggins

Kerrigooney wrote: »

She heard me in the kitchen one night,walked in and found me pissing into a bowl of jelly in the fridge.

:eek:

Kerrigooney

Biggins wrote: »

:eek:

I know but I was only about 3.

It`s not like I do it any more.

Much

johndoe99

i used to watch my father catching flies and putting them into spiders webs. So i started catching bees in my bare hands.

Real Life

I used to eat coal

amacca

heard my aunt and my mother + loads of other relatives singing the praises of my younger cousin..isn't she great to be able to do that at her age etc
I must have been jealous because my contribution to the room was "yeah, and she has a head on her like a bull calf" ...stunned silence ensued before conversation carried on as normal.....to be fair this girl did have quite a big head

Used to call the local priest daddy smith ....to me at that age father and daddy meant the same thing (not priests real name before it starts)

came home from school and told my dad the say it fast "my dad is a banker" joke in front of relatives.....not having the faintest clue what the word wanker meant at that stage....ironically now calling your dad a banker would be potentially more embarrassing

Swallowed one of those big crayons when I was young.......thought it looked tasty, then started to worry about it....made much worse when I went to my dad and he told me I would definitely get cancer and die almost immediately...told me I had at best a couple of hours to live........cried like a baby, threw a tantrum and then left everything to mam in a will I drew up in another crayon...they kept that and like to laugh in my face about it from time to time

went batsh1t crazy in front of everyone one day when I didn't get the model car with the gull wing doors I specifically asked to be brought home for me but instead one with normal doors.....I mean a real freaker...I was told I was normally quite calm and easygoing but that there was punching of walls etc etc

Biggins

Kerrigooney wrote: »

I know but I was only about 3.

It`s not like I do it any more.

Much

You probably were still half asleep and thought it was your potty! :pac:

Shenshen

When I was about 1 or 2 years old, I had been left alone sitting in my high chair while mommy got something from the next room. In front of me was this huge tub of my little brother's nappy rash cream... You know, that stuff a bit like really greasy cement?
Anyway, since I had just witnessed my mother putting moisturiser on her face, I decided I was grown-up enough for some, too, and proceeded smearing half the tub on my face.
My dad had to use his old cut-throat razor to scrape it off of me again.


And when I was around 5-ish, I saw our dog squeezing between the iron railings of our garden gate to get out. I knew I was about the same size as the dog, so I figured where he can fit through, I can fit through. Nobody had told me about the fact that humans have collarbones, and dogs don't.
The really odd thing then was that while I obviously couldn't move foreward, I foung that I couldn't get my head back out, either.
My gran discovered me maybe 20 minutes later, by which time I had almost consoled myself with the idea of walking aroung with a cast iron gate around my neck for the rest of my life.
She eventually freed me with the help of a bottle of vegetable oil.

bronte

Myself and my brother used make a "mixture" of basically everything we could find in the presses in the kitchen. Everything.
Cereal, herbs tomato ketchup, hot chocolate powder, fairy liquid.
Then we'd get bored and wander off.

Another time I took a fancy to a pretty bottle on my mother's dressing table.
I decided it would be fun to play with and took it in to the bathroom sink.
I emptied the contents (bout £100 worth of super posh perfume) down the sink and filled it up with soapy water. I don't know how she didn't kill me.
She still reminds me of that now, although we did get her a replacement bottle one Christmas for old times sake. :pac:

**Timbuk2**

Pouring a whole bottle of Bubble Bath down the toilet and then flushing. Suds went everywhere, and even for days after bubbles and suds emerged everytime it was flushed. I was very impressed, my parents weren't.

seklly

My friends father had just started to become successful in his business so decided to buy himself a brand new BMW as a birthday present to himself. At the time my friend was around 4 or 5 and as a birthday present to his father he got a rock and scraped 'Happy Birthday Dad' into the side of the new car!!

Lexicographer

Thought the only reason I couldn't fly was that I didn't believe enough, so climbed up to the top of shed and in a leap of faith jumped ... still remember the pain! No broken bones though, hid in pain cos too afraid to tell my family how stupid I was.

alwaysadub

When i was 2 or 3 rang someone in Australia one day by dialling random numbers on the house phone. And was chatting away in gibberish till my mam found me. I'd say there was some phone bill that month!

Duggy747

In Westport, for whatever reason (a festival maybe) there was this fella who would dress up in a big pink bunny outfit.

I used to terrorise the fùck out of him and always tried to tear off his fluffy tail. I don't remember much of it since I was so young but there was plenty of pictures throughout the years of my repeated attempts to steal that tail off him.

I often wonder if I were to see the bunny today would I still attack him and tear his tail off.......

Barbieliveshere

alwaysadub wrote: »

When i was 2 or 3 rang someone in Australia one day by dialling random numbers on the house phone. And was chatting away in gibberish till my mam found me. I'd say there was some phone bill that month!

Bart Simpson?

One day myself and my cousins were in the garden, my brother who is older than all of us decided to jump out the shed window. Off he went and jumped. My cousin aisling who is 4 years younger decided to have a go. She stepped up onto the ledge and took a leap....catching the washing line with her mouth on the way down and dangling there by the inbetween of her 2 front teeth for a good few seconds. She is now 21 and only just got her braces off!

johndoe99

my mates father was putting a path down in the back garden and had several buckets of cement left over. We went door to door in the street blocking up neighbours keyholes.

Ah_Yeah

I covered my grandmother's Golden Retriever's arse with sudocreme and put a nappy on it. Poor dog was so good, let me pull and drag him around.

The cat was a lot smarter though, apparently. My mother said he'd run upstairs and stay there til I was gone