Why is pulling so hard?

Holsten

Don't dwell on it, it's not that big of a deal.

Forget about going out "on the pull", just head out for a laugh, talking with your friends and being open to chatting to strangers.

You'll get chatting to people no problem, and if there is a small spark you might end up getting a kiss or more!

Be confident in yourself without being too arrogant or cocky, have interesting things to talk about and you'll be sailing.

fullstop

Holsten wrote: »

Be confident in yourself without being too arrogant or cocky, have interesting things to talk about and you'll be sailing.

Therein lies the problem I'd wager.

EdenHazard

I have an ego, MAYBE a bit of an inflated opinion of myself, but I'm pretty shy and reserved.

Pottler

EdenHazard wrote: »

Yeah all well and good but its not like I've been in a permanent depression, I've experienced booms( and busts) and now I'm just in a significant recession. I've gone summer 2012 without pulling

ah now, come on, we all know you were pulling away goodo just an hour ago. You forgot to wipe your browsing history.

Mr Benevolent

TeddyTedson wrote: »

He will pull all sorts of women like this.
Obviously there's a type that really love this in a man but you'll find most do. Do you really believe that nonsense you hear from some women from time to time that they like a man to be a bit fat. Bull. They want a man to be shredded, tanned and confidant as fook.

Illogical. I pulled both girlfriends with a gut on me, and I still have one of them. Besides, women have to get his shirt off to notice that he's shredded.

To be fair to Teddy, I started doing pushups in the last three months and it's made a big difference, not to my body (or my woman) but to my mood.

fullstop

Confab wrote: »

Illogical. I pulled both girlfriends with a gut on me, and I still have one of them. Besides, women have to get his shirt off to notice that he's shredded.

To be fair to Teddy, I started doing pushups in the last three months and it's made a big difference, not to my body (or my woman) but to my mood.

2 girlfriends? Maybe give one of the to the OP, he's desperate.

Pottler

Confab wrote: »

Illogical. I pulled both girlfriends with a gut on me, and I still have one of them. Besides, women have to get his shirt off to notice that he's shredded.

To be fair to Teddy, I started doing pushups in the last three months and it's made a big difference, not to my body (or my woman) but to my mood.

The girls or the gut?

TeddyTedson

Confab wrote: »

Illogical. I pulled both girlfriends with a gut on me, and I still have one of them. Besides, women have to get his shirt off to notice that he's shredded.

To be fair to Teddy, I started doing pushups in the last three months and it's made a big difference, not to my body (or my woman) but to my mood.

I was mostly taking the piss, but you can usually tell if someone is in good shape without seeing them with their top off. I guess that's neither here nor there now though anyway.

Seriously kid, as lame as it sounds. Be yourself. If you're out and you see a girl you like walk up and just introduce yourself/say hello and let the conversation flow. Chances are most women wont approach you. You'll know if she's interested. Don't try to act.
Also 3 nights out is not exactly alarm bells for not pulling considering you're not approaching many women yourself. Chill.

Mr Benevolent

Pottler wrote: »

The girls or the gut?

Both.

kfallon

Pottler wrote: »

ah now, come on, we all know you were pulling away goodo just an hour ago. You forgot to wipe your browsing history.

As long as that was the only thing he forgot to wipe.....

validusername1

to the people suggesting going to a gym or anything about looks, that won't make a difference.. i saw his pic and he's far from ugly so that's not his problem.. it's about being able to talk to girls, and even ugly guys pull if they know how to talk. OP if you see a girl you think is hot, what do you do/say to her? like do you even try or do you just expect them to come to you? cause we never really do that..

Brutal Deluxe

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

I'd avoid getting hammered in the first place

In more than 10 years of going out I can't really recall pulling without at being at least a reasonably well on it. Drink and going on the pull go hand in hand.

EdenHazard

validusername1 wrote: »

to the people suggesting going to a gym or anything about looks, that won't make a difference.. i saw his pic and he's far from ugly so that's not his problem.. it's about being able to talk to girls, and even ugly guys pull if they know how to talk. OP if you see a girl you think is hot, what do you do/say to her? like do you even try or do you just expect them to come to you? cause we never really do that..

Ye my talking skills are poor, at best. Like tbh I would prob do nothing and just try catch her eye or something...which prob just looks creepy.

ITS_A_BADGER

EdenHazard wrote: »

Ye my talking skills are poor, at best. Like tbh I would prob do nothing and just try catch her eye or something...which prob just looks creepy.

does that not answer your own thread in the first place? if you don't do anything how is a woman meant to know you're intrested? the wimmens arent just gonna stick to you like a magnet if ya make eye contact with them from half way across the room, you reap what ya sow man,

no effort = no rewards

Davidson2k9

Have some confidence

Red Hand

Davidson2k9 wrote: »

Have some confidence

What does this even mean? I hear it every time when this subject comes up, but what does it actually mean?

It's so vague...like people telling you to "just be yourself". If he is being himself and it's not getting him anywhere, then that is obviously not a great way of making friends etc.

So what does "have confidence" mean?

PizzamanIRL

Maybe you don't pull because you're too beautiful that all the women think you're out of their league. It has to be that, right?

Fupping Grasshole

What's all this "women can sense desperation" and "women can sense self consciousness" fair play, they've one of lifes basic skills. :rolleyes:

tan11ie

EdenHazard wrote: »

Ye my talking skills are poor, at best. Like tbh I would prob do nothing and just try catch her eye or something...which prob just looks creepy.

Well there you go,that's your answer...

No matter how good looking you are, if you can't hold a conversation then it's all downhill.

You're just looking to pull though? well I'd suggest you improve your dance moves or maybe bulk up with a sock down your jocks ? just a suggestion like

amacca

Red Hand wrote: »

What does this even mean? I hear it every time when this subject comes up, but what does it actually mean?

It's so vague...like people telling you to "just be yourself". If he is being himself and it's not getting him anywhere, then that is obviously not a great way of making friends etc.

So what does "have confidence" mean?

I hate those statements myself having heard them occasionally

Have confidence...have confidence eh?.....thats the fcuking problem fcukwit, I dont have any what with being rejected and experienced failure and bad luck at almost every turn (or so it seems)----any idea how to artificially make yourself feel confident without actually being in that frame of mind or at the very least convincingly fake the appearance of it if that's what it takes genius...no hadn't thought that far ahead of the old glib be cnofident line you like to trot out had you because its not so much of a problem for you.....perhaps I'm wrong but imo its not to far away from telling someone whose intellectually challenged and wants to get an academic qualification or something..just stop being retarded and you'll be fine!

just be yourself particularly grates, its usually delivered dripping with pity and just a small side order of self satisfaction topped off with single serving packet of hint of smug sauce............................but I have been myself all along and clearly its not fcuking working

Now I need to be someone else more confident and happy with one of these wonderful social lives you see well publicized by attention whores on fcukfacebook that you suspect may not actually be that great if they exist at all ....any idea how to do that genius?


can you sense the rage people? can you? I need a woman now!!!!:pac:

later12

Red Hand wrote: »

It's so vague...like people telling you to "just be yourself".

Be yourself means relax, don't try too hard and you'll be surprised how things flow. Breathe. It's amazing how many people forget to breathe properly when stress assails their bodies.

what does "have confidence" mean?

Again, you're taking it too literally. It obviously isn't an attempt at summoning confidence. But there are plenty of tricks one can employ to change mindset: recall past successes to give yourself an ego boost, imagine your company is naked and embarressed; whatever.

be yourself and have confidence: not actually bad advice!

validusername1

EdenHazard wrote: »

Ye my talking skills are poor, at best. Like tbh I would prob do nothing and just try catch her eye or something...which prob just looks creepy.

well one of these days you're just gonna have to make more of an effort.. catching her eye is fine before you talk but knowing girls, they're not gonna start the conversation, they'll expect you to.. so either you keep doing what you're doing and so not pull or you get outta your comfort zone and approach.. i'm tryin to think of what you could say but it's hard cause it depends on the situation, so i dunno, something typical like where are you from/what's your name could be a start..

Gran Hermano

Rather than hitting the clubs and pubs and formally going 'on the pull', would you not consider joining a club or society. If you are amongst like-minded people with a mutual interest you may find it less forced. Might I suggest "The Irish Society for Insecure Narcissists", I believe they have a page on bebo/twitter/Facebook and beautiful people.com

leggo

EdenHazard wrote: »

validusername1 wrote: »

to the people suggesting going to a gym or anything about looks, that won't make a difference.. i saw his pic and he's far from ugly so that's not his problem.. it's about being able to talk to girls, and even ugly guys pull if they know how to talk. OP if you see a girl you think is hot, what do you do/say to her? like do you even try or do you just expect them to come to you? cause we never really do that..

Ye my talking skills are poor, at best. Like tbh I would prob do nothing and just try catch her eye or something...which prob just looks creepy.

OP, she said you're good looking and slipped in the fact she's a girl. C'mon man, take the hint and PM her already. Don't tell a story about why people think you're creepy!

This. This is why you're posting this thread. Jaysus.

EdenHazard

Touché my friend, touché

leggo

Now go get her, sport.

Honest opinion

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Get a big furry belly and breaking the ice by asking girls to rub it

Ive actualy seen that work before i swear to God!

BeerSteakBirds

Bars and clubs are full of messers. which type of messer are you looking for ?

Eve_Dublin

Drunkenly slur at her that she's "nice eyes" as she's on her way home. Worked for me!:)

Gummy Panda

Confab wrote: »

Illogical. I pulled both girlfriends with a gut on me, and I still have one of them.

You ask them rub it to break the ice?

suicide_circus

You're probably not masturbating enough OP. In order to improve your chances with the ladies, you should really be pulling the wire off yourself between 8 and 14 times per day.

Kolido

Diego Maradona wrote: »

I got two shifts last night OP :pac:

Are you perhaps an ugly person?

Did you drop the hand of god?

W.Shakes-Beer

Get a girlfriend....job done. Guaranteed shift.

Johnny Bitte

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Start veeting from an early age too. It's good to get into the habit. English lads have been shaving their chests for years, but now that veet is here nobody has any excuse.

WTF Tallafornia is that way Teddy FFS ---->
Believe it or not there are women who like a hairy chest, it reassures them their not sleeping wit a ten year old.

OP, I d be the same as you, just going out, saying nothing to them and just hoping something happens but I'm usaully out with mates and and just see what happens.

If you really really want to pull yur gonna have to go talk to them.

A mate of mine use to walk straight into a group of girls and starting talking to one, ever single time the response was good.

Bite the bullet, whats the worse than could happen.

fullstop

BeerSteakBirds wrote: »

Bars and clubs are full of messers. which type of messer are you looking for ?

Maguire

kfallon

fullstop wrote: »

Maguire

Does anybody go into Messrs anymore? Been years since I frequented that place!

fullstop

kfallon wrote: »

Does anybody go into Messrs anymore? Been years since I frequented that place!

I only go a couple of times a year, but it's usually pretty busy.

Notorioux

Sorry, but I can't give advice on this women come to me, I don't come to them. :cool:

--Kaiser--

Notorioux wrote: »

Sorry, but I can't give advice on this women come to me, I don't come to them. :cool:

Prostitutes don't count

Wibbs

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Prostitutes don't count

Yea they do. Try shortchanging them and you'll find out PDQ.

opinion guy

EdenHazard wrote: »

I have an ego, MAYBE a bit of an inflated opinion of myself, but I'm pretty shy and reserved.

Your every post screams of insecurity.
But you are in denial about that.

Edit: this feels a bit harsh. There's nothing wrong with being insecure or admitting it.

Son Of A Vidic

EdenHazard wrote: »

Why is pulling so hard?

Ever tried lube? I suspect you need some.

Madam_X

Seems like you're more concerned with saying you "pulled" - to your mates etc - rather than wanting to meet someone you actually desire. It's not a competition.

Oh and women - people - CAN sense desperation.

Festy

Just be a a c##t around them OP,seems to work in this country.

Feisar

EdenHazard wrote: »

Ye my talking skills are poor, at best. Like tbh I would prob do nothing and just try catch her eye or something...which prob just looks creepy.

The is no such thing as creepy. It's just a term girls have for lads they don't like. I've done some sleazy god awful things in my time and was branded cocky etc.

My latest nonsensical "chat up" line went like this at the weekend. (My GF and I have just broken up after 2.5 years)

I walked up to a girl with an epic set of breasts and said:

"Hi, i haven't felt a real set of breasts in three years, I just broke up with my GF and she had fake ones"

She just smiled, drew in a deep breath and stuck them out as far as they would go and said "go ahead, be my guest"

Now I didn't as I was just messing and being a bit bould for the craic but we had a drink and a laugh after that.

Sea Filly

later12 wrote: »

Also, get yourself a decent wingman, and keep him.

I'm happy for my BF to be a wingman for his single friends. He's very at ease with chatting to women.

amacca

Feisar wrote: »

I walked up to a girl with an epic set of breasts and said:

"Hi, i haven't felt a real set of breasts in three years, I just broke up with my GF and she had fake ones"

How could you be sure hers were real? .....she was probably delighted you thought her fakeys were real

Feisar wrote: »

She just smiled, drew in a deep breath and stuck them out as far as they would go and said "go ahead, be my guest"

Now I didn't as I was just messing and being a bit bould for the craic but we had a drink and a laugh after that.

I'm going to the wrong clubs

Toby Take a Bow

EdenHazard wrote: »

Yeah I think it comes down to being able to chat up girls, put simply, I can't. I only pull when confident girls come up to me being like 'your really good looking' or something. So I think in a club I waiting for some girl to walk up to me which more than likely will rarely happen

p.s the thread is not meant to be taken seriously like its not an issue.

ITS_A_BADGER wrote: »

does that not answer your own thread in the first place? if you don't do anything how is a woman meant to know you're intrested? the wimmens arent just gonna stick to you like a magnet if ya make eye contact with them from half way across the room, you reap what ya sow man

Apparently, when he does score, that's exactly what happens.

Because he's so good looking, y'see.

EdenHazard

P.S Guys for those saying 'oh your an insecure narcissistic' a narcissist would never admit to struggling to pull.

EdenHazard

Toby Take a Bow wrote: »

Apparently, when he does score, that's exactly what happens.

Because he's so good looking, y'see.

Not exactly, I'd be like walking around dancefloor or bar and then they'd like tap me on the shoulder and be like 'eh your really good looking blah blah' but the problem is I don't look good enough to be confident that I can pull easily hence I wait for girls to come to me.

Big decision about whether to go out tonight, so much at stake and not in mood to drink and the chances of me pulling without drink at so low, PP odds don't go up high enough for that.