So tired of drama

annoyed_grunt

Hey just looking for advice, a few weeks ago a friend of mine started a casual thing with a girl while trying to get with my cousin (who is like a sister/friend to me) Long story short the whole thing blew up in his face and I gladly told him where I stood on the issue.

Once that drama was over I talked to my cousin who said she liked my friend but was unsure what to do as she felt she couldn't fully trust him. Having talked with my friend I realised he really did like my cousin. I advised her to give him another chance but to take it slowly. I know her decision wasn't down to what I said but still feel like I helped her come to her conclusion.

My cousin is currently away on holidays with friends but was out with my friend last night. He ended up kissing another girl and doesn't know that I saw him. Now I don't know what to do, I feeled pissed off at my friend and don't know if I should tell my cousin, confront him or what?

@rti-shm@rti

Ok by the sounds of things your friend has barely been on a date yet with your cousin!! It's not ideal that your friend has put you in this position but tbh I really don't think he's done anything wrong.
Are they actually going out/in a relationship? If not I really don't see what the problem is. The reality of things is that a lot of the time in the early stages of relationships people are kissing and messing around with a few different people as prior relationships end and there are 'for old times sakes' moments, feelings for your new partner aren't all that strong/commitment isn't really there yet.
It's natural. He hardly knows your cousin presumably, and she hardly knows him. Why in the early stages would you commit yourself to someone entirely that you don't know at all?
Tell him that you know they're not serious yet but that you feel uncomfortable seeing him at this craic because you'll feel obliged to tell the truth if asked by your cousin. Tbh it's really your issue, not his.

Edit: You say your cousin's away on holidays, she may/may not be kissing other people herself.

Herrick

annoyed_grunt wrote: »

Once that drama was over I talked to my cousin who said she liked my friend but was unsure what to do as she felt she couldn't fully trust him.

I often see people on here saying if their not committed there's nothing wrong with getting with others.

But from my experience most people I know that have started dating (not in a committed relationship) someone and find out the other person was with someone else, end up dropping them.

I'm of the mentality that if I'm actually into someone I won't be off kissing others in the early stages and to be honest I like to see the same returned. Otherwise I wonder if their that into me. I know a lot that feel this way.

It's upto you, but I always maintain it's better a person knows the score so they can decide whether its an issue for them or not.

It's possible she may think it's early days its ok, or she could feel the opposite.

P. Breathnach

Ask yourself this: bearing in mind that you advised your cousin to give him another chance, how would you feel if she ended up very hurt by him?

Mighty_Mouse

Stay out of this completely.
When you find yourself caught in the middle of this sort of thing best of reserving judgement. You can never know what goes on between two people.

This sounds like it's the very early stages of young love.
There's no commitment made by either party. Nobody is in the wrong here.
As said above. Stay well away.

Ellsbells

Yeah I dunno why, if he does actually like your cousin, he is off kissing someone else??