Things you'd like to say to them

Powerfairy

Dad I have my the exam results for my finals, the one I failed, on Friday,
Friday the 13th of all days. & I Feel sick about it.
Nervous energy has me in a bad state,
I wish you were here to chat to, I know you would settle me by saying something wise x

I have a palliative care mass for you this week too and they will read out your name, and i can go and collect your candle. I am looking forward to it. It will be nice to go to mass for you and have some time alone to reflect on the last 15 months without you, 15 months without u seems bizarre to me. I just cannot believe you are gone that long.

Love you very much, I hope I pass the exam for you dad. I want to make you proud.

x

Galwayguy35

10 years gone today Mam.

orionm_73

Dad, I wish I had realised that the changes in your personality were the start of your dementia. Maybe we wouldn’t have fallen out and wasted all those years. But I’m so thankful we reconciled, even though by then you weren’t even aware of us ever not speaking. I loved spending time with you, even when you thought I was your brother. I just wish I had more time with you.

4Ad

Powerfairy wrote: »

Dad I have my the exam results for my finals, the one I failed, on Friday,
Friday the 13th of all days. & I Feel sick about it.
Nervous energy has me in a bad state,
I wish you were here to chat to, I know you would settle me by saying something wise x

I have a palliative care mass for you this week too and they will read out your name, and i can go and collect your candle. I am looking forward to it. It will be nice to go to mass for you and have some time alone to reflect on the last 15 months without you, 15 months without u seems bizarre to me. I just cannot believe you are gone that long.

Love you very much, I hope I pass the exam for you dad. I want to make you proud.

x

Hope you did ok !
I'm sure he is proud of you anyway !

atilladehun

Mam, we laugh so much when we tell stories about you. You were so brave.

......................
On a similar note, not sure if this had been posted before but this podcast tells a story of a similar effort

https://m.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/597/one-last-thing-before-i-go?act=1

I found it really interesting and it helped me think about my bereavement.

I don't mean to throw this thread of topic, so please don't reply to me.

kildare75

This is second time round,I wrote something back in April but I had to delete it, as it was way too raw.
It's hard to believe that you are 7 months gone missy. It feels like only yesterday and always will, god I miss you so much x
Myself and mick got things sorted as to moving out your bits and bobs from the house. We took the car over to Scotland and got it done. He played a blinder. You would have been so proud.
I've been over every few weeks since to keep an eye on your dad, he is still the same, only a little sadder I guess.
Theresa and the lads are doing their best..as is your Mam.
I'm just about holding things together. I've started new job but all it takes is a song or a memory and I'm in bits. Jesus i miss you so much, just the simple things...things I'll never know again.
I just hope you are at rest where u are and your pain is over missy.
Ffs I shouldn't have to say this .... I miss you, you were and always will be the love of my life, and I miss you more than words can ever say. look down on me from time to time. Yours always Dee xxxx

Powerfairy

4Ad wrote: »

Hope you did ok !
I'm sure he is proud of you anyway !

Thank you! I actually passed the exams, I put it down to his help from above and study of course, Thanks for the message.

Lisha

This night last year, we eat, we drank, we told stories from our fantastic times together, we loved you, we danced, we sang, we laughed and we were all just so happy for you. We were all just so bloody happy for you that your best years were ahead of you. Never suspecting that your happy ever after and so our happiness for you would be so short lived.

I miss you and I’m sorry.

So many people miss you.

doireann08

Dad

I miss you so much. I miss holding your hands and our shared sense of humour and especially the wicked glint in your eye

It will be 3 months on the 2nd November. I know you always said that it will be harder for the ones left behind. I just didn't realise how hard. I feel a huge void since you've gone and I don't know how it will get better.

I miss you.

Stopped Clock

Mum I hope some day I will be able to think of you and not cry. Even though you're gone well over a year now, the pain has not gone away. I miss you so much and will always regret that you could not be there for me .

Five years, I can't believe it. But I finally feel like you're gone. Never dreamed it would take this long, feel like you'd kill me for not moving on faster (but v secretly you'd be kinda ok with it right?)

I miss you so much still, though you'd hate me admitting that. I visited your grave last week; I know you'd hate that too if you were still alive ;-) Public displays no matter how discreet just weren't your style eh? You were just so old school classy! Always loved that style and those manners.

I also still miss your sense of humor, and your dryness and understanding and crazy quiet strength. And of late - your patriotism: never understood it until now.

I feel more and more like you as I'm getting older, weird but so cool! Cx

flowerchild

I miss you everyday, so much sometimes that it hurts. I remember the laughter and the fun and feeling understood, and the fights and disagreements. I miss the intensity.

knucklehead6

New Years was hard.

When M asked Where's mam and Dad said upstairs for a second I was thinking "Great, haven't really spoken to her in a while, why is she upstairs?" then I remembered it's your ashes.

I found articles about your funeral that were published two months ago when I was there last night. I ask myself why was I not told about them? Why are my siblings and father keeping me out of the loop. There was talk about modifications to the house for Dad last night, and the conversation was all as if it's a done deal. Yet last night was the first time i heard about them.

I miss you. You seemed to be the glue. Maybe Dad doesn't really like me, like i said to you all that time ago??

Powerfairy

knucklehead6 wrote: »

I miss you. You seemed to be the glue.

I completely identify with that feeling. xx my dad was the glue too xx hope you're ok.

Alf Veedersane

Next Sunday it will be 10 years. It still seems like yesterday when you drew your last breath. I think i only realised just how young you were recently. I miss the Sunday morning chats with me sitting on the counter while you had your coffee and token morning smoke.

There's so much you've missed and I need a hug from you today. Its been terrible.

Dad is doing well though. I think he's just learned to cope but the loneliness hits on these long winter evenings. But he does his best to stay busy - you'd be so proud.

I love you.

UpCork

I admired you greatly and how you didn't dwell on your illness. You were always one of the most positive people I knew, even though you had so much s**t to contend with.

You were fab and I didn't tell you often enough.

knucklehead6

Powerfairy wrote: »

I completely identify with that feeling. xx my dad was the glue too xx hope you're ok.

good days n bad, ya know yourself

Yer Da sells Avon

Mam, I've been dreaming a lot about you lately. So vivid, so real, and then I wake up and it takes a few precious seconds before reality punches me in the gut once again. Time doesn't always heal. As the years pass, I find myself missing you more than ever.

tomofson

Hapax Legomenon wrote: »

Mam, I've been dreaming a lot about you lately. So vivid, so real, and then I wake up and it takes a few precious seconds before reality punches me in the gut once again. Time doesn't always heal. As the years pass, I find myself missing you more than ever.

Oh God I know that feeling too well, when I dream of a loved one who has passed then wake up only to realize within a few seconds it was just a dream and there still gone and will never be back... Then the sadness starts to sink in,Your heart aches a little and that empty feeling in your stomach...

It happens to me on quite a regular basis.

LegacyUser

I told you I love you but I never understood your pain until this terrible tragedy happened. I miss having you here, you were my link to everyone and now that chain is broken. How can someone so young and so full of life be no more? I fear the future without you but always know I love you!

Baybay

Happy birthday, dad. Been thinking about you all day as everything that came up in any conversation seemed to remind me of a story or a saying of yours. Haven't felt your absence in this way for a few years. Bereavement & grief are funny old things.

LoonyLovegood

I miss you. I just really miss you and I can't believe today is two year since you went, because it still hurts and it feels like it was a couple of weeks ago at the most.

I think I forgot how you sounded. Its not as clear anymore and I just wish I could hear you again. I'm sorry for that last phone call, you told me you were dying, Mam had told me that you were, but I didn't want to believe you. I couldn't imagine my life without you. I still can't and I've been living it.

I got my degree and you would have been so proud of me, standing up on that stage in my big gown and hat, announcing to the world that I did it. I had to repeat final year, but I think most of that was your death. I couldn't keep going at that stage, I just regressed. But I did it and I have it. When I got my results yours was the first phone number I rang. Someone else has it. They're around my age, it sounded like and they seemed happy for me even though they didn't know me. I still haven''t deleted it from my phone. I can't.

I wish I could talk to you one last time. I wish I could tell you how proud I am to be your grandchild, the lessons you taught me and the strength you gave me. You're my hero, and if I can be half as an amazing person as you were, I will be phenomenal.

I hope you're happy. I hope wherever you are, whatever you do, wherever you go, I get to see you again and get those hugs I miss so much. I'm gonna spend today going to the places we went to, at least the ones that are left. The Kylemore shut down, can you believe it? No more sausage breakfasts and saying it was ok because Ash Wednesday wasn't really the start of Lent.

I miss you and I love you and I can't stop thinking about you.

Annabanana23

Thank you for teaching me how to live. I miss your giddy smile and your laugh, your kookiness that I clearly inherited. I know you tried your best and it was more than enough.

I'm sorry you had to get so sick, you didn't deserve to have the rest of your life wasted like that. You were so wonderful, you were my best friend (my only friend sometimes.)

I feel like I should have done more for you. I'm sorry that I got so scared of your illness. I wish I could go back and do everything and more for you. You were the most wonderful person and a fantastic mum.

Tell dad I said that I miss him too.

Xx

Brainz

It still hurts me that the night before you were taken I was with you and told you that you didn't look well.
Your pride always stood out and you didn't want any one to worry about you.

I still feel like it is my fault.

I miss you so much.

Paranoid Bob

I still think of those last few days.
I know you wanted to stay at home. We had a good day in Mullingar that day. Until I brought those meds you didn't want and we argued.

The following day I brought you back to Mullingar; to the hospital. You did not want to be there. Your last words to me: "You're a bastard". I never thought those would be the last words, and I'm sure you didn't either.

Could I have done more? I don't know. I was tired beyond reason, but if I'd just kept going a few more days. It was just a few days.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

tomofson

You where in my dream again last night, you where sitting on the chair beside my bed looking at my laptop.
It seemed so real, I wish when I see you in my dreams I could talk to you rather than forcing myself to wake up.

Recliner

I wish you were still here for him, his best friend..he misses you so.

I'm sorry..I was so judgemental and that made him miss speaking to you one last time..maybe if he'd spoken to you it wouldn't have been the end..I feel so responsible..I had no right to judge you..I hope you found peace..I hope I can find forgiveness..I don't know who can absolve me..you had so much to live for..so much to offer..it's such a waste..I'm sorry..

You were such a lovely man..you've taken her home..keep her safe now..

chooey

I just miss you so much, it gets more difficult as time goes on. I really need you here with me at the moment, you would know exactly what to say and what I should do. I'd love you to see your grandchild. She has your personality-crazy and kooky. You would love her.

banie01

I'm a bit all over the place, you have been taking up more and more space in my mind over the last while...
Yesterday was 11 years and 1 month since we lost you.
Its been a long long road and life is good...
It's so different than I thought it would be when you were here, we miss you but we made a path without you....
Eventually.
Its a good one, a happy son a home and a family!

Today is 11 years, 1 month and 1 day since we lost you...
Today is the 1st day I have been without you, longer than with you...
My life is good, our little family is great...
But I'm crying, sobbing like a child!
The mind is a strange thing!
An arbitrary label on a passage of time has pulled part of my brain back to the you died, its as if its happening all over again...
You still have a place in my heart and a space in my mind and always will.

I miss you Kate, more than chips xoxo

HandsomeBob

Got talking to a colleague about the royal wedding (or bull**** as you would have called it da) and got onto the subject of walking daughters down the aisle. Having explained I have no female siblings she said your "Poor Da won't ever get to experience walking one of his own down the aisle.

Awks. Didn't want to make her feel bad so didn't mention your passing.....took it in my stride like you would have.