Grandparents as Foster Parents

El Nick

Hi all - I'm hoping I might be able to get some pointers here in addition to the other web searching I'm doing on a thorny family issue I have. To cut a long story short my sister has decided for the second time in her life that she doesn't want her children anymore. She made the admission at her local police office, the police phoned our parents, and the kids (13 and 15) are with said parents now. A social worker has called and should be calling back in a few weeks.

The last time this happened the kids lived with my parents without seeing their mother for six months or so. She then showed up at midnight one evening demanding them back which was very traumatic all around. This time my parents and the kids would rather something more structured.

Can anyone suggest options for my parents? I fully understand that the right answer is "see a solicitor" and I would like for us all to be able to go into that quagmire with our eyes open. What rights do my parents have? Can they apply for legal guardianship? What happens if my sister decides at no notice that she wants her kids back now and gets violent, which is more or less what happened last time? Is there anything to be gained by pointing out the negative environment she has built for her children? What happens as far as child benefit is concerned? My parents are both retired and as a parent myself I know that children soak up cash like sponges!

Many thanks for any information you can throw our way.

MarkR

Start here?

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/adoption_and_fostering/fostering.html

cynder

There is a possibility that your parents can apply for legal guardianship if they do get it they will be entitled to children's allowance.



I know a granny who got legal guardianship of her grandson he was 2 and autistic the mother had and still has no interest. It took a good year or so for the adoption to go through.

They don't get a foster care payment as he is not in foster care.

She gets a carers allowance as his autistic.

Morag

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/adoption_and_fostering/fostering.html

Relative foster care

Relative foster care happens when another family member becomes foster parent of the child. For example, a grandparent, aunt, uncle, adult sister/brother, etc.

In this situation, the relative of the child is assessed by the HSE in exactly the same way as all other foster parents.

Children in Ireland are not taken into foster care in the first place, unless the HSE assesses that the child is at risk. In making their decision about the relative being foster parent to the child, the HSE will decide what is in the best interest for the child. Assessment will also take into account the needs of the child and the abilities, suitability etc. of the relative to be a foster parent.

If a child already has a case worker/social worker/ Family Support Worker then they can help guide family members through the process. If not the best thing to do it to go see the social care team for the area the children normally live in( which will be based in the health clinic in the area) and start accessing the system from that point.

http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/Find_a_Service/Children_and_Family_Services/Fostering/

The IFCA may also be able to help guide through the system.
http://www.ifca.ie/fostering/role-of-hse/

Irish Foster Care Association
Unit 23
Village Green
Tallaght
Dublin24

Tel: 01 4599 474
email info@ifca.ie
Website: www.ifca.ie

MariMel

Sharrow wrote: »

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/adoption_and_fostering/fostering.html



If a child already has a case worker/social worker/ Family Support Worker then they can help guide family members through the process. If not the best thing to do it to go see the social care team for the area the children normally live in( which will be based in the health clinic in the area) and start accessing the system from that point.

http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/Find_a_Service/Children_and_Family_Services/Fostering/

The IFCA may also be able to help guide through the system.
http://www.ifca.ie/fostering/role-of-hse/

Irish Foster Care Association
Unit 23
Village Green
Tallaght
Dublin24

Tel: 01 4599 474
email info@ifca.ie
Website: www.ifca.ie

If it is a voluntary situation, even if social workers are involved, then your parents will most likely not get fostering allowance. My own son lives with my parents and since I voluntarily through agreement with the social workers let him live with them, my parents get nothing other than the childrens allowance.
Guardianship was not needed for them to receive that. I just had to acknowledge that my son no longer was living with me.

Look into guardianship allowance...it is where a child has been abandoned by the parent and been left with no means. Again this was not eligible in my case as I still had regular access, so in effect I did not abandon my him.

Again though....my parents are not his legal guardians even though he lives with them primarily.

In your situation I would ask for a family meeting with the social worker in conjunction with your sister, try and arrange a mutually beneficial system.
These children sound like they need structure and security.
Discuss access and who has say with regards to schooling and decisions that need to be made for the children on a day to day basis. Your social worker should be able to talk you through this.

Good luck and I wish you and your family well.

El Nick

Thankyou so much for all your responses. They're really appreciated and I hope we'll be able to do something to salvage what is a pretty stressful situation for my parents and for my sister's kids.

Morag

Depending on the age of your parents it might be better for the teens to be placed with a foster family. I know that it maybe hard to find one who is willing to take on two teenage boys together but if that could be arranged and the foster family lived near by it would be a lot hard for their mother to just show up and try and bully and intimate the foster family.

The rest of the family could still be very much involved with the lads and take them for weekend ect, but it would mean they would be able to access counselling and other services that way.

Tbh I know it sounds horrendous that she left them in a Garda station but that shows that she did abandon them, she sundered them to the state. Garda stations have to take kids in these sort of situations after the very tragic situation in Wexford were they refused to do so and there wasn't a social worker on call and the mother then walked into the sea with her two small kids.

I'd would be making sure the fact she left them in the garda station and what she said has been made an official note of. Be in it in the day book or by the Garda on duty( and get their name and number) so that if needed testimony can be made available to the courts.