So, you're on an airplane...

danniemcq

Jammy Donut wrote: »

Mmmm true..... But if I slide it down over her feet and therefore take it off, I would be able spread her legs more to get deeper into her

From personal experience you can hike the skirt top (is hem the right word?) up above the hips and then throw the bottom bit up over that again allowing heaps of room for access and leg spreading

Plus then if the plane lands right she can just pull it down for the whole evacuation thing

snubbleste

Get out the camera and take a photograph of the Oresund bridge.

Son Of A Vidic

Oranage2 wrote: »

Surely you can't be serious?

I am..........and don't call me surely.

Sleepy

Head down the back and try my best to judge a safe height to jump from.

Duff

Shouldn't have read this with a flight to Chicago in the morning.

Noxin

Take my phone off Airplane mode. Cause it can't kill us now either way!

Plazaman

JupiterKid wrote: »

....."ladies and gentlemen, we have lost almost all our power and part of the tail and rudder has sheared off.....

Thoie wrote: »

...... or maybe turn my phone on and see if there's any signal.

Noxin wrote: »

Take my phone off Airplane mode. Cause it can't kill us now either way!

I bet this is how it happened too. Ye never turned off ye're phones properly. Are ye happy now? ARE YE?

My skills for apportioning blame in a crisis are legendary (even if it was my fault. The Blamestormer should be my new username).

CruelCoin

Start singing.

"Gory Glory, what a helluva way to die!"

danniemcq

Mobile phones don't interfere with any instruments on planes.

The reason they are still banned is 2 fold though

1- The airline makes a fortune on their own phone system on some planes

and

2- There could be a malfunction on a variation of phone that could possibly mess something up. But as it would cost so much to test EVERY phone, every version of that phone and nowadays every version of andoid, windows or ios they err on the side of caution and have a blanket ban.

But in fairness when you are at 30000ft+ up there is little or no chance of actually picking up a signal toactually make a call.

although as you are plummeting your signal will improve

the_pits

People, only one thing to do in situations like this, and that is update your Facebook status .........:D

Pilotdude5

Press the red button. Industry secret.;)

JupiterKid

the_pits wrote: »

People, only one thing to do in situations like this, and that is update your Facebook status .........:D

Ronald Spunkfelcher

Is about to die in an air crash

Reoil

Chuck Stone wrote: »

20 mins over that particular area is more than enough to make a successful emergency landing at a well equipped airport.

Yours.

Buzz Killington.

Not without a tail rudder...

tricky D

faceman wrote: »

I'd probably scream and cry like baby for 5 minutes in the hope that someone would knock me out and therefore I would die in my sleep.

None of that hardman stuff for me!

Identity confusion?? You're sounding like your side-kick, the big fella with the jewellery.

thomasj

TIMEisMONEY wrote: »

try and mend the plane

"You have 20 inches of sticky tape left, god bless you!"

hatrickpatrick

Is the girl I'm secretly in love with on the plane as well?

Shiny

Anyone seen "The Grey" ?

Scary and awesome simultaneously.

Noxin

Actually scratch that:

THIS:

sebastianlieken

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Is the girl I'm secretly in love with on the plane as well?

No your sister is not there.

mauzo

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Is the girl I'm secretly in love with on the plane as well?

Yes, but not for long

endofrainbow

find the black box and sit on it - cos they always find the black box from planes ......don't they?

Caliden

Open the door and die of hypoxia.
Doesn't seem too bad after seeing this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTNX6mr753w

Euphoria? Yes please

Scioch

Stick in some earphones playing some epic music, briefly look back on my life and bid farewell to the whole rotten lot of it !!

mauzo

In all honesty, Id blare music, eyes closed, rock back and forth and pray!

Thats what I do whenever I fly ( I wish I was joking )

kizzabel

syndeyfife wrote: »

In all honesty, Id blare music, eyes closed, rock back and forth and pray!

Thats what I do whenever I fly ( I wish I was joking )

Have you not met my friend? Valium.

JupiterKid

kizzabel wrote: »

Have you not met my friend? Valium.

Given the circumstances the terrified passengers on the doomed airplane would be in, I think cyanide would a much better bet than valium.

The cabin crew could hand out the cyanide pills to the passengers whilst wearing V is for Vendetta masks.

The captain could announce:

"Ladies and gentlemen, have a nice death"

mauzo

kizzabel wrote: »

Have you not met my friend? Valium.

I travel with a 2 year old so not always an option.

Last year my parents were on the plane with us so i took a tablet the doctor gave me, and it did absolutely nothing.

This year Ill be flying there and back just me and my son. Thats if I actually manage to get onto the death trap!

Scioch

syndeyfife wrote: »

I travel with a 2 year old so not always an option.

Last year my parents were on the plane with us so i took a tablet the doctor gave me, and it did absolutely nothing.

This year Ill be flying there and back just me and my son. Thats if I actually manage to get onto the death trap!

I love flying because its one of the few times in life where you can relinquish all control to someone who is competent in what they are doing.

Its crossing the zebra crossing at the far side is what scares me because I'm not as confident in my own ability to keep myself alive as I am of the pilots. Pilots will do a better job of flying planes than I can do of wiping my own arse. Flying is one of the safer parts of life.

tayto lover

LordSmeg wrote: »

I love flying because its one of the few times in life where you can relinquish all control to someone who is competent in what they are doing.

Its crossing the zebra crossing at the far side is what scares me because I'm not as confident in my own ability to keep myself alive as I am of the pilots. Pilots will do a better job of flying planes than I can do of wiping my own arse. Flying is one of the safer parts of life.

There are many who would disagree with you if they were alive.

Scioch

tayto lover wrote: »

There are many who would disagree with you if they were alive.

There is probably many people who if alive would warn us of the dangers of pencils too. People die in all manner of ways but dying in plane crashes isnt up there on the list of those you need to worry about.

tayto lover

LordSmeg wrote: »

There is probably many people who if alive would warn us of the dangers of pencils too. People die in all manner of ways but dying in plane crashes isnt up there on the list of those you need to worry about.

Unfortunately I do and as a result I won't get to see the world. Couldn't even get on the plane the last time.

Scioch

tayto lover wrote: »

Unfortunately I do and as a result I won't get to see the world. Couldn't even get on the plane the last time.

Dont envy you on that one, I was nervous on my first flight but only because I didnt know what to expect. Once things were under way I realised it was no more scary than a bus just a hell of a lot cooler.

mauzo

LordSmeg wrote: »

Dont envy you on that one, I was nervous on my first flight but only because I didnt know what to expect. Once things were under way I realised it was no more scary than a bus just a hell of a lot cooler.

But any bus Ive been on has been on the ground!

Scioch

syndeyfife wrote: »

But any bus Ive been on has been on the ground!

Thats why the plane is cooler, but its the same thing really. Sitting there trying to occupy yourself until ya get where your going.

tayto lover

syndeyfife wrote: »

But any bus Ive been on has been on the ground!

Airbus ?