Interviewers from hell

Lando Griffin

Just reminiscing back in the day when jobs were 2 a penny going for an interview for a job.
I had got wind that the company were not great to work for, crap money and a hierarchy of management that got more stuck their bums the higher the went up.
Anyway with a job already and broadening my horizons I decided that if anything I needed to brush up on my interview technique.
In I went and went through all the formalities interviewed by three la de da’s.
It was painful all they went on about was how great they were in a brilliant company.
The asked a few questions and at this stage was only really interested in the busty brunette behind the desk.
Then one of the male interviewers asked, “What are you like working under pressure”
I face palmed myself, pulled a box of fags from my pocket and declared “Jesus, I wasn’t expecting that question, I’ll have to go for a smoke and think about it” up I got and walked out.
Have you ever made a hames of an interview?

Knex*

I don't even know where to begin. So much AH ammunition in this thread.

Gone Drinking

Knex. wrote: »

I don't even know where to being. So much AH ammunition in this thread.

Just being at the start and take it from there..

Knex*

Gone Drinking wrote: »

Just being at the start and take it from there..

Dammit, too late with my edit

Boombastic

Lando Griffin wrote: »

J
I face palmed myself, pulled a box of fags from my pocket and declared “Jesus, I wasn’t expecting that question, I’ll have to go for a smoke and think about it” up I got and walked out.
Have you ever made a hames of an interview?

Was it before or after your smoke they made you fill out the form?

keith16

Bit rich of you to accuse someone of being stuck up.

Bad Panda

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Anyway with a job already and broadening my horizons

I face palmed myself, pulled a box of fags from my pocket and declared “Jesus, I wasn’t expecting that question, I’ll have to go for a smoke and think about it” up I got and walked out.

You failed.

Sounds like the only thing that was broadened was your degree of narcissism.

Mr. Manager

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Then one of the male interviewers asked, “What are you like working under pressure”
I face palmed myself, pulled a box of fags from my pocket and declared “Jesus, I wasn’t expecting that question, I’ll have to go for a smoke and think about it” up I got and walked out.

I'm willing to bet my months wage, my dogs and my girlfriend that this didn't happen.

Maybe in your head keyboard warrior man, maybe in your head.

krudler

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Just reminiscing back in the day when jobs were 2 a penny going for an interview for a job.
I had got wind that the company were not great to work for, crap money and a hierarchy of management that got more stuck their bums the higher the went up.
Anyway with a job already and broadening my horizons I decided that if anything I needed to brush up on my interview technique.
In I went and went through all the formalities interviewed by three la de da’s.
It was painful all they went on about was how great they were in a brilliant company.
The asked a few questions and at this stage was only really interested in the busty brunette behind the desk.
Then one of the male interviewers asked, “What are you like working under pressure”
I face palmed myself, pulled a box of fags from my pocket and declared “Jesus, I wasn’t expecting that question, I’ll have to go for a smoke and think about it” up I got and walked out.
Have you ever made a hames of an interview?

No you didn't.

BraziliaNZ

I bet it was awkward when you got to the door and had to go back and ask one of them to buzz you out sheepishly

--Kaiser--

krudler wrote: »

No you didn't.

http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2010/12/12/e07ea09e-f42f-41ad-be28-fe407b74033b.jpg

AnonoBoy

Lando Griffin wrote: »

It was painful all they went on about was how great they were in a brilliant company.

As opposed to normal interviews where people say how sh*t the company is and try to put you off working there?

Diapason

Lando Griffin wrote: »

if anything I needed to brush up on my interview technique.

Can't imagine why you'd think that.

Caveman1

Was that for the job in the potato factory making WAFFLES

Flaker

I was unemployed for a short period of time about 8-9 years ago and applied for a ****ty office job in a company just across the border. I've since learned they are awful to work for (don't pay anything for extra time worked, yet expect you to work over your time regularly to get orders completed; make you leave your mobile home at home/in your car etc.etc.).

Anyway, like I said, an office job which I could have done with my eyes closed. The closing date had been really tight to when I saw the job so I typed up a revamped CV and stuck it in the post and thought I'd spell checked the whole thing....Wrong!

Then I got called for interview. They were really difficult in the interview, trying to catch me out at every turn and I don't mind telling you it was awful. It was pretty obvious they had no intention of offering me the job after the first couple of minutes. They even told me I wasn't really what they were looking for! Why bloody call me for interview then?!!

I have an english degree and put in some waffle about good literacy and spelling skills. So one of the guys picked up on this.

Him: "So you've good spelling skills?"

Me: "Yes, I think so"

Him: "You've spelled 'education' wrong" (I put an extra "a" in for some reason.

Me: "Have I? Gosh I'm sorry. I was rushing to get my application in as I would really love to work for this company (bluffing) and that must have slipped through the crackS. Sorry again."

Him: "Well can you spell it for me now? That should be easy for some-one with a so called english degree"

At this stage I had had enough, he was just trying to humiliate me! So I said yes and and spelled it for him then said "I can also spell 'prick' - P.R.I.C.K." and walked out of the interview.

I wish I'd waited long enough to see his face but I literally ran out the door. Then burst into tears.....

Hande hoche!

Flaker wrote: »

I was unemployed ofr a short period of time about 8-9 years ago and applied for a ****ty office job in a company just across the border. I've since learned they are awful to work for (don't pay anything for extra time worked yet expect you to work over your time regularly to get orders completed, make you leave your mobile home at home/in your car etc.etc.).

Anyway, like I said an office job which I could have done with my eyes closed. The closing date had been really tight to when I saw the job so I typed up a revamped CV and stuck it in the post and thought I'd spell checked the whole thing....Then I got called for interview.

They were really difficult in the interview, trying to catch me out at every turn and I don't mind telling you it was awful. It was pretty obvious they had no intention of offering me the job after the first couple of minutes. They even told me I wasn't really what they were looking for! Why bloody call me for interview then?!!

I have an english degree and put in some waffle about good lieracy and spelling skills. So one of the guys picked up on this.

Him: "So you've good spelling skills?"

Me: "Yes, I think so"

Him: "You've spelled 'education' wrong" (I put an extra "a" in for some reason.

Me: "Have I? Gosh I'm sorry. I was rushing to get my application in as I would really love to work for this company (bluffing) and that must have slipped through the crackS. Sorry again."

Him: "Well can you spell it for me now? That should be easy for some-one with a so called english degree"

At this stage I had had enough, he was just trying to humiliate me! So I said yes and and spelled it for him then said "I can also spell 'prick' - P.R.I.C.K." and walked out of the interview.

I wish I'd waited long enough to see his face but I literally ran out the door. Then burst into tears.....

Did you then go for a smoke?

ejmaztec

AnonoBoy wrote: »

As opposed to normal interviews where people say how sh*t the company is and try to put you off working there?

They do that when they've already got their cousin starting the following Monday.:(

canonball5

Cereal Rapist wrote: »

I'm willing to bet my months wage, my dogs and my girlfriend that this didn't happen.

Maybe in your head keyboard warrior man, maybe in your head.

We all know that's a lie

Rabies

Cereal Rapist wrote: »

I'm willing to bet my months wage, my dogs and my girlfriend that this didn't happen.

Maybe in your head keyboard warrior man, maybe in your head.

Your dogs get paid?

AnonoBoy

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Did you then go for a smoke?

He probably did, after he banged the busty brunette.

Am I right?

WHAAAMMM!!!

Get in there my son!

(and other such machismo laden exclamations)

Flaker

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Did you then go for a smoke?

Yeah.

Mr. Manager

Flaker wrote: »

At this stage I had had enough, he was just trying to humiliate me! So I said yes and and spelled it for him then said "I can also spell 'prick' - P.R.I.C.K." and walked out of the interview.

Why do people feel the need to make up stories like this? None of us know you so we'll never actually high five you but if it makes you feel better, have this - Hi 5

3rdDegree

A friend of mine went for an interview and one of the things the young interviewer said to her was "for someone with so many sports listed as interests on your CV, you don't look very fit".

Flaker

AnonoBoy wrote: »

He probably did, after he banged the busty brunette.

Am I right?

WHAAAMMM!!!

Get in there my son!

(and other such machismo laden exclamations)

I'm a female but I do have a thing for busty brunettes. And his man boobs were very impressive.

Flaker

Cereal Rapist wrote: »

Why do people feel the need to make up stories like this? None of us know you so we'll never actually high five you but if it makes you feel better, have this - Hi 5

I nearly hyperventilated afterwards if that makes you feel any better.

Man don't be jealous cos you didn't do it....

dlofnep

Interviews are a serious exercise in bullshít. Someone with an over inflated sense of importance trying to determine whether or not you're good enough for their shíte job that even a monkey could do.

yeppydeppy

Op, how can you be that drunk this early? I haven't even left the office yet.

AnonoBoy

Flaker wrote: »

I'm a female but I do have a thing for busty brunettes. And his man boobs were very impressive.

I've become confused and was referring to the OP.

Can you spell 'Apologies'?

ejmaztec

There wasn't an interview for a job I applied for once, instead I was handed a multiple choice psychological profiling test paper that had to be sent off to the compilers for assessment.

A week or so later, the boss of the firm rang me to tell me that I was neither homicidal nor homosexual, and asked me when I wanted to start the job. He didn't realise that I'd managed to cover up my homicidal tendencies by fudging a few answers.

Eoin

AnonoBoy wrote: »

As opposed to normal interviews where people say how sh*t the company is and try to put you off working there?

Some interviewers just don't bother trying to sell the company to the candidate. Interviews should be a 2 way thing, especially when you're trying to recruit for a role that's hard to fill.

AnonoBoy

Eoin wrote: »

Some interviewers just don't bother trying to sell the company to the candidate. Interviews should be a 2 way thing, especially when you're trying to recruit for a role that's hard to fill.

I've 1 interview in my life I think.

I dunno how they work.

Sure I'm lucky I can tie my laces in the morning.

foxyboxer

Flaker wrote: »

Him: "So you've good spelling skills?"

Me: "Yes, I think so"

Him: "You've spelled 'education' wrong" (I put an extra "a" in for some reason.

Me: "Have I? Gosh I'm sorry. I was rushing to get my application in as I would really love to work for this company (bluffing) and that must have slipped through the crackS. Sorry again."

Him: "Well can you spell it for me now? That should be easy for some-one with a so called english degree"

E.D.U.C.A.A.T.I.O.N. - Education :cool:

Flaker

foxyboxer wrote: »

E.D.U.C.A.A.T.I.O.N. - Education :cool:

I spelled it "eduacation" for some reason.

Don't worry - not one I will ever forget how to spell again.....

Sappa

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Just reminiscing back in the day when jobs were 2 a penny going for an interview for a job.
I had got wind that the company were not great to work for, crap money and a hierarchy of management that got more stuck their bums the higher the went up.
Anyway with a job already and broadening my horizons I decided that if anything I needed to brush up on my interview technique.
In I went and went through all the formalities interviewed by three la de da’s.
It was painful all they went on about was how great they were in a brilliant company.
The asked a few questions and at this stage was only really interested in the busty brunette behind the desk.
Then one of the male interviewers asked, “What are you like working under pressure”
I face palmed myself, pulled a box of fags from my pocket and declared “Jesus, I wasn’t expecting that question, I’ll have to go for a smoke and think about it” up I got and walked out.
Have you ever made a hames of an interview?

Op weren't you tge one who started the thread about 18yrs in a job and your not so keen on it?
Maybe that ole interview could have changed all that.

El_Dangeroso

Rabies wrote: »

Your dogs get paid?

No, he gets paid in dogs silly! Two golden retrievers a month and a pomeranian for overtime.

Esoteric_

At one interview, the woman interviewing me was being a bit snotty throughout. I powered through and gave decent answers to all her questions. At the end, she said 'We provide the uniform, but what clothing size are you? We only make up to a 16.' I said 'That's grand, I'm a 14,' to which she replied 'Are you sure?' while looking me up and down like I was dirt.

I was in complete shock, I just gaped at her and eventually said 'Er, yes... The suit I'm wearing now is a size 14.'

Got a call a few days later, offering me the job, which I turned down.

Aside from that, I've never really had a bad interview. I've found most people interviewing me to be really decent, trying to sell the company as well as asking me questions.

Lando Griffin

Cereal Rapist wrote: »

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Then one of the male interviewers asked, “What are you like working under pressure”
I face palmed myself, pulled a box of fags from my pocket and declared “Jesus, I wasn’t expecting that question, I’ll have to go for a smoke and think about it” up I got and walked out.

I'm willing to bet my months wage, my dogs and my girlfriend that this didn't happen.

Maybe in your head keyboard warrior man, maybe in your head.

I cannot believe the negativity shown by the responds in this thread. Have ye all forgotten the good times when things like this was possible when a holiday to Dubai in the summer and two weeks on the piste in winter. A time when we all partied and knew that no matter what there was better times and jobsto be had. Shame on ye .

Sappa

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Cereal Rapist wrote: »

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Then one of the male interviewers asked, “What are you like working under pressure”
I face palmed myself, pulled a box of fags from my pocket and declared “Jesus, I wasn’t expecting that question, I’ll have to go for a smoke and think about it” up I got and walked out.

I'm willing to bet my months wage, my dogs and my girlfriend that this didn't happen.

Maybe in your head keyboard warrior man, maybe in your head.

I cannot believe the negativity shown by the responds in this thread. Have ye all forgotten the good times when things like this was possible when a holiday to Dubai in the summer and two weeks on the piste in winter. A time when we all partied and knew that no matter what there was better times and jobsto be had. Shame on ye .

It's ok sure we all know you will keep us entertained with tales of wonder and laughs a plenty until the good times roll back again.

Naomi00

Lando Griffin wrote: »

I cannot believe the negativity shown by the responds in this thread. Have ye all forgotten the good times when things like this was possible when a holiday to Dubai in the summer and two weeks on the piste in winter. A time when we all partied and knew that no matter what there was better times and jobsto be had. Shame on ye .

antodeco

Flaker wrote: »

make you leave your mobile home at home/in your car etc.etc.).

Must be a big fecking car to fit a mobile home in it!

GerM

dlofnep wrote: »

Interviews are a serious exercise in bullshít. Someone with an over inflated sense of importance trying to determine whether or not you're good enough for their shíte job that even a monkey could do.

A lot of interviewers know that the candidate can do the job. You're not being interviewed solely on that basis. You're also being interviewed to see if you'll get along well with the other people there, whether you've a good personality, whether you come across as a chancer that will call in sick 3 times a month etc. You can say all the right things but your manner and attitude can tell a different story.

discus

LyndaMcL wrote: »

At one interview, the woman interviewing me was being a bit snotty throughout. I powered through and gave decent answers to all her questions. At the end, she said 'We provide the uniform, but what clothing size are you? We only make up to a 16.' I said 'That's grand, I'm a 14,' to which she replied 'Are you sure?' while looking me up and down like I was dirt.

I was in complete shock, I just gaped at her and eventually said 'Er, yes... The suit I'm wearing now is a size 14.'

Got a call a few days later, offering me the job, which I turned down.

Aside from that, I've never really had a bad interview. I've found most people interviewing me to be really decent, trying to sell the company as well as asking me questions.

Ugh, what a ****bag. Glad ya turned it down. +1 for Moral Courage.

SpatialPlanning

Cereal Rapist wrote: »

Why do people feel the need to make up stories like this? None of us know you so we'll never actually high five you but if it makes you feel better, have this - Hi 5

Your virtual position here would no longer exist if peoples tendencies to exaggerate/fabricate were non-existent.

Also, "none of us know you" is a strange statement to make on an anonymous message board.

Hobbes

Only two I recall.

1. The interviewer asked me "Where do you see yourself in 5 years time". I then went on to detail my current relationship and if it is still ongoing maybe marriage at that point, along with what things I wanted to do in my life (like see China, etc).

After two minutes of that where he let me talk he responded with "No I mean in the job".

2. Someone snagged this next story and posted it on their site (with some artistic license imho), but the crux of it is correct.

http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Hypothetical-Question--Tales-From-The-Dump.aspx (first story)

JustAThought

Like that Rick on 2fm does all the time? Tossed. If he dosnt have anything to say for himself why does he lie & plagaurise other peoples stories.
And claim a huge taxpayers salary for doing so. Bloody disgrace.
I wonder did he cheat in tests in school too.

Duggys Housemate

Cereal Rapist wrote: »

Flaker wrote: »

At this stage I had had enough, he was just trying to humiliate me! So I said yes and and spelled it for him then said "I can also spell 'prick' - P.R.I.C.K." and walked out of the interview.

Why do people feel the need to make up stories like this? None of us know you so we'll never actually high five you but if it makes you feel better, have this - Hi 5

Sounds real to me.

Grayson

I've only ever not gotten two interviews. One was clearly my fault. I was going for a support job. Supporting software that enterprise clients use. And I was asked what the hardest aspect of support was. My Answer? "Bloody stupid people". And did I leave it there. No, I had to rant about them for a good two minutes.

allibastor

once got asked for an interview by complete mistake. was for a job in a financial company, which was odd as i never did anything to do with finance. had just completed a business masters so thought maybe it was related to it. did not remember applying either, but as i had so many applications going out just said why not. I was told it was for a second round interview also so was happy.

Got there, did the interview and it was plain to see i was not in anyway fit for the job. at the end the lady asked me did i remember her from my first one, which obviously i said no to.

Turns out the lad they meant to interview had the same name and DOB as me. lived in Donegal mind you, was 6,1 and red haired.

was funny as the lady said it was not the first time it happened as their CV screening process goes by name and DOB

Lollers

Ya know, even when an interview goes badly, I still try and hold out some hope.

opinion guy

allibastor wrote: »

once got asked for an interview by complete mistake. was for a job in a financial company, which was odd as i never did anything to do with finance. had just completed a business masters so thought maybe it was related to it. did not remember applying either, but as i had so many applications going out just said why not. I was told it was for a second round interview also so was happy.

Got there, did the interview and it was plain to see i was not in anyway fit for the job. at the end the lady asked me did i remember her from my first one, which obviously i said no to.

Turns out the lad they meant to interview had the same name and DOB as me. lived in Donegal mind you, was 6,1 and red haired.

was funny as the lady said it was not the first time it happened as their CV screening process goes by name and DOB

That doesn't exactly inspire confidence in the company now does it.
I hope you offered suggestions on how to avoid recurrence of the problem

jimthemental

I had an interview for a lab equipment sales job last year with 2 of the company's managers, one of whom was a fairly attractive woman of around 35 with the top few buttons of her blouse open. I had no fúcking hope of keeping eye contact.