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Great moments in school
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In religon in secondary school we had a former priest as a teacher. He was dead sound. Anyway one day the topic of sex came up.
Well as he himself put it, 'if you are in a beautiful red ferrari doing 100 miles an hour on the moterway, with a full tank of gas, you are not going to stop in kildare.' 'OOOHHHH no,' he said. You are going to give it welly and go all the way to Dublin!!'
Think there might have been a moral to that story but laughter ensued and whatever point there might have been was lost!!0 -
We had a Slovakian girl in our year in 5th year, and naturally one day the subject turned to swear words in Slovakian. She told us the Slovak for "F*ck you!" (Seriem na teba! according to Google Translate, I can't remember if that's what she said, think it was a different dialect or language or something, but I digress...). So in one of our classes later that day, we had great fun saying "Seriem na teba!" to the teacher.
Naturally she got a little pissed off, not know what we were saying, so eventually after one of us said she said "I'LL SERIEM NA TEBA YOU"
Cue the entire class rolling around the place laughing for five minutes.
In first year, we had a completely useless English teacher. One day in class, my biro leaked, and I didn't notice it until it had already destroyed the A4 sheet I had been working on. At the end of the class, when she asked for the sheets to be handed up, I handed up the one covered in ink, and she didn't notice until her hands were completely destroyed.... don't know why I did it tbh....
In religion one day in 4th year I think, we were doing the topic of bullying. We were sitting in a circle and she was going around the circle asking each of us to give a different reason as to why people bullied other people. With each passing person, you'd hear a chorus of "DAMN! That was my one!". When it came to me, I put on a completely straight face and said in the most sing-song voice possible: "Because deep down.... they don't like themselves." Entire room cracks up.
On our Biology field trip in 5th year, we went to a local wooded area. The bus pulled up and we all got off and walked over to the gate. On the ground next the fence was a used condom. One of the lads shouts out "FFS [GIRLS NAME]! WHY DIDN'T YOU CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF!" :pac:0 -
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Mmmmmm Molly Ringwald. . . .CodyJarrett wrote: »Bunch of us that didn't really know each other ended up having to do detention on a Saturday one time and the head made us write an essay on who we thought we were.
"I wanna be an airbourne ranger, I wanna lead a life of danger..".
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In LC maths a few years ago and a male teacher comes in asking for some volunteers for something random.
Female maths teacher says "sure take all of them, I can go home!"
Male teacher "ah now...are you looking for a free ride?"
He obviously meant it as in an easy day off but she went BRIGHT red and the whole class burst out laughing. He muttered something about being careful how he phrased things and walked straight back out of the room.0 -
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Her nasal hair gave you soft bones?admiralofthefleet wrote: »loads
science teacher said orgasm instead of organism. a senile nun had no control over the class, used to smoke out the window and she never noticed
one time in pe i caught a glimpse of a spiders leg on a fine girl in my class, i couldnt walk for weeks with the 'rickets'
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Oh, where to start!
First one that came to mind was something my friend told me about his Irish class. He had my JC Irish teacher for LC and she's a really serious teacher but fun outside class. She went to show them Caca Milis on youtube or something and an ad came on - for Piranha 3DD! :pac:
Now, English - the class where I never, ever stopped laughing
My English teacher made some remark about the reason why half the class were single was because they were obsessed with Call of Duty. One guy was like "Actually my girlfriend plays it with me :cool:" and he goes "Oh well jaziz Joe, when the time comes you wont be asking her, she'll be telling you! :eek:" and I laughed thinking he meant marriage, then he goes "STICK IT IN FOR FCUKS SAKE :mad:" and oh my god, that was up there in the top 10 most hilarious things I've ever heard anyone say, just because of the fact that it was a teacher, in class! He got all embarrassed and said he'd forgotten where he was hahaha.
In 5th year (same teacher) he said something about being great at slagging (no one could deny it :pac:). One smartass told him he'd beat him at slagging, he retorted that he'd "own him in 5 seconds". I thought that would be a challenge even for him, but no.
"Okay then, go"
"YORE MA"
"What about my mother?"
"I rode her, bleedin slapper"
"<name>, even if you did it would only be because it's the only sex you'd ever get, but I know you didn't. You wouldn't be able to afford her."
We were all speechless :pac:
In his geography class he made a hilarious racist joke, but I best leave that one out at the risk of an infraction.
I had this awful English teacher for JC English, totally stuck up and completely incompetent. I can't understand how she hasn't been fired yet. She was going mental one day in 3rd year because people didn't have their books (we never used them, she considered herself to be some kind of crazy fun teacher by using random crappy notes), she didn't even have it! While giving out to a guy sitting right next to me he stops her and goes "Ms, where's your book?" Her face was priceless and her excuse even moreso, a total lie about giving it to someone who needed it, then "in fact, I gave two books away!" :rolleyes:
People always bitch about her my LC English teacher and someone asked him if she was "up the duff or just after gettin fat".
"Let me put it this way. Even trees have holes." :L
There are so, so many more stories, the teachers in my school were such banter, but this post would be huuuuuuge if I tried to list them all. :P0 -
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Remembered a few more as I read the gems of the thread. :P
3rd year French we had a teacher who was a bit eccentric. She was lovely, just not very motivating and often announced "OH I need a brandy
". We all thought of her as a bit of a druggy, just the way she acted was so dazed sometimes. Anyway, she came in with two black eyes and said she'd walked into a door or something gas, and to warn us of possible impending bad teaching she started with "Needless to say I am on a lot of DRUUUUUUGS", so much emphasis on the last word, and with her wearing sunglasses to cover her eyes it was SO hard not to laugh.
My Irish teacher (same one as the story with Piranha 3DD) was mad for mnemonics, really good teacher in that way. For our JC Irish prose she made 3 letter words for each of the 15 points. One of them was "FAP" and she stood at the top of the class saying "How do you remember #10? FAP! FAP! FAP!". She was terrifying but I had to laugh.
In 5th year in maths our classroom had one of those white tiled roofs. We put a phone in it and called it every 5 minutes, my teacher started to get a bit peeved but he was great and always went along with it. He also wrote a joke in my copy one time, almost wet myself when I saw it in the middle of my integration test, and every time he said "Part A" we'd all be like "PARTAY!". Ahhh, good times, the fun in that class was the only motivation I needed to stay in HL, fcuk the points. :P 0 -
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Was in Careers class. The teacher went around the class collecting money for something or other. Got to a guy in the class.
Guy: "Miss, I always have it in my pocket but then I forget and spend it on something else"
Miss Career Guidance teacher: "Next time you put your hand in your pocket, think of me".:D:D 0 -
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In our school at morning break, you could place an order with the local Co-Op and they would deliver rolls to the school for lunchtime, or you could go up the village to the shops/chipper.
Well one day, the entire school was banned from going up town because there was wreck done to people's front gardens the day before (think it was Halloween time). So lunchtime rolled around, and the entire ~450 people in the school crammed into the canteen which is really only built to hold about 250 comfortably.
The rolls from the Co-Op arrived, and it was our Vice-Principal that was in charge of giving them out that day. He would shout out a person's name, but with 450 people in the room talking and shouting he couldn't make himself heard. Any time someone said "Mine!" he would literally throw the roll at them. So many rolls went skidding across the floor that day, and the VP got increasingly irritated to the point where he just said "**** this" and walked out.
In JC irish one day, we were being really uncooperative, to the point where the teacher stood up and said "Right! I'm going for the Vice Principal". She left the room, and came back about five minutes later alone. She continued to give out to us and demand whoever had done whatever had started the whole thing own up. After another five minutes of getting no where, she stood up again and shouted "RIGHT! I'M GOING FOR THE VICE PRINCIPAL!" At which point we fell around the place laughing.
In LC German, we were doing the picture sequence where there is an old couple who go for a walk in the park then come home and have tea on the balcony. I was sitting with a girl and kept whispering in her ear in german about what the old couple would do later on that night (sexual stuff obviously). She kept laughing and smirking, but I was fairly good and putting on a straight face. The teacher ended up giving out to the girl for about a minute straight for not paying attention. Still laugh about it to this day.
In JC History, we watched a video one day about Hitler that had music that reminded us of David Attenborough nature shows like the Blue Planet. We spent the entire class doing Attenborough impressions along the lines of: "Here we see, the wild Goebbels, majestically soaring above the city of Berlin, its natural habitat." :pac:0 -
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I went into a chemistry class with my mates a year or so ago, cos I was the only one of my group not in that class, sat down, since I had an english accent obviously wasn't local, told the teacher I was a newly arrived student, and my name was Adam Green, everyone in the class trying not to laugh. She eventually noticed, decided to go check with the year head, and I just legged it out the door soon as she left. Caught me on the stairwell, told her my name was Eoin Campbell, and I was really sorry 0
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