Please feel free to feed my kids.....as long as it doesnt have sugar in it.

Tombo2001

It seems there is no shortage of people out there who will randomly and out of the blue produce lollipops, biscuits, chocolate, yoghurts, fizzy orange, fizz bombs or whatever it is for the kids to eat.

I'll be on the bus, and some old dear will take a packet of jellies our of her bag and start waving them. We'll be in the butchers and he will throw a lollipop at them. We'll visit a grand-uncle and it will be a choice of ice-cream, coffee cake, 6 month old ginger snaps or TK lemonade.

For a long time, I was patient enough with this as quite clearly, they are only trying to be nice.

But it is just pissing me off more and more - why?

Number 1: It is hard enough to get kids to eat their dinner of potato, chicken and carrot......but if they have a belly full of ice cream then its simply not possible.
Number 2: Random stranger or kind relative doesnt have to deal with tantrum two hours later when kids have sugar rush and empty stomach.
Number 3: Any fool can win favour with a kid by giving them a packet of jellies...it requires no effort.....what are you proving?
Number 4: Sugar is bad for kids. Why are you giving it to them, especially when they are not asking for it.
Number 5: A child who isnt crying will pretty damny sure start crying if I tell them they cant have that chocolate kimberly you are waving in their face.
Number 6: Myself and my wife are the ones who wake up in the middle of the night when they are crying, who run around like blue arsed flies in the morning to get them dressed and fed, who devote all our energies to entertaining them, educating them, feeding them, clothing them. Treat time is a nice time for parents to have with their kids. But they can only have so many treats in a day. Why are you denying me this?

If you want to feed my kids without asking me first.....thats fine, as long as its a leaf of lettuce, a sprig of broccoli, a slice of tomato. Knock yourself out.

Sorry for rant folks. Long weekend.

Plates

Must be great craic in your house. I can (kind of) see where you're coming from - but maybe you need to ask yourself questions if you can't say "no" to your kids when these evil sugar laden treats are offered to them.

Tombo2001

Plates wrote: »

Must be great craic in your house. I can (kind of) see where you're coming from - but maybe you need to ask yourself questions if you can't say "no" to your kids when these evil sugar laden treats are offered to them.

It is great craic in my house, good observation.

As a rule of thumb, I don't call other people's parenting abilities into question, and by extension I dont particulary feel the need to answer someone who questions my own.

Plates

Tombo2001 wrote: »

As a rule of thumb, I don't call other people's parenting abilities into question, and by extension I dont particulary feel the need to answer someone who questions my own.

So were you looking for feedback - or just venting? The world is full of opinions - and mine is but one of them. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who will disagree with both of us.

You can't control the number of people who will offer treats to your kids - but you can control how you deal with it.

Ash.J.Williams

Tombo2001 wrote: »

It is great craic in my house, good observation.

As a rule of thumb, I don't call other people's parenting abilities into question, and by extension I dont particulary feel the need to answer someone who questions my own.

take the sweets and put them in the motha fo**in sweet jar for treat time...

LeinsterDub

Tombo2001 wrote: »

Number 1: It is hard enough to get kids to eat their dinner of potato, chicken and carrot......but if they have a belly full of ice cream then its simply not possible.
Number 2: Random stranger or kind relative doesnt have to deal with tantrum two hours later when kids have sugar rush and empty stomach.
.

Sugar rush is a myth http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2747/does-giving-sweets-to-kids-produce-a-sugar-rush

There is a difference between a Jelly and so much ice cream they can't eat their dinner

puffishoes

I have to admit. I don't really see an issue here.

if your child is used to not eating sweets before dinner or only on weekends or once a month or whatever it is you permit. i don't see why the local butcher offering a lolly should effect this?

You thank the butcher for their kindness and friendly customer service and the child has the lolly at the normal time they're allowed to have sweets?

Kindness should never be seen in a negative light.

Call me Al

When this happens with my two they are allowed to accept, acknowledging the graciousness with which they were offered. If it won't impact the next meal, they can have the treat then. If it will impact the next meal then I put it away until treat time. They are 5 & 3 and can desl with it without having a complete meltdown. People are trying to be kind..... Not curry favour with your little ones.

pwurple

Tombo2001 wrote: »

a leaf of lettuce, a sprig of broccoli, a slice of tomato.

All these contain sugars as well, in case you thought they were sugar-free. Glucose, fructose and sucrose content can be quantified.
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jsfa.919/abstract

RedXIV

pwurple wrote: »

All these contain sugars as well, in case you thought they were sugar-free. Glucose, fructose and sucrose content can be quantified.
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jsfa.919/abstract

Was gonna say this, what do you do if they offer a bit of orange for example, my 2yr old would sell me twice over to get her hands on an orange

Zillah

Most of the replies here were pre-emptively addressed by the original post, making them pretty stupid.

Plates wrote: »

Must be great craic in your house. I can (kind of) see where you're coming from - but maybe you need to ask yourself questions if you can't say "no" to your kids when these evil sugar laden treats are offered to them.

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

take the sweets and put them in the motha fo**in sweet jar for treat time...

puffishoes wrote: »

You thank the butcher for their kindness and friendly customer service and the child has the lolly at the normal time they're allowed to have sweets?

All of the above were addressed with:

Number 5: A child who isnt crying will pretty damny sure start crying if I tell them they cant have that chocolate kimberly you are waving in their face.

If you think a child will be perfectly happy with delayed gratification then I think you're misunderstanding one of the fundamental differences between adults and children.

puffishoes wrote: »

Kindness should never be seen in a negative light.

Sure it can. Kindness can be stupid, intrusive and unhelpful. The intention is nice but that doesn't mean it isn't a problem. We as a culture have a terrible attitude towards sugar, it's very bad for you and shouldn't even be set up as a "reward" or treat - avoiding exposure to it as much as possible is a very healthy attitude, and I can see how having people shoving it in their faces on a daily basis could be aggravating.

pwurple wrote: »

All these contain sugars as well, in case you thought they were sugar-free. Glucose, fructose and sucrose content can be quantified.
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jsfa.919/abstract

They contain trivial amounts of sugars, along with significant fibre and vitamins - they don't compare.

Plates

Zillah wrote: »

If you think a child will be perfectly happy with delayed gratification then I think you're misunderstanding one of the fundamental differences between adults and children.

Not all children will be happy - but the ones who been taught that there is a time and a place for "treats" will be.

haulagebasher

In addition to the risks outline above, there is absolutely no telling what is in whatever they are giving them. Looks like jellies/whatever - could be anything really. Also even if they are real sweets who says that the oul fella or whatever even washes his hands. The food could also could be gone off and dangerous.If any stranger tried to feed my child I would be raging at them.

MillieJ

It's funny but so true! looks like most old people just want to feed their grandchildren and other children as well.
It's not like obesity is spreading or anything... ;\

Call me Al

MillieJ wrote: »

It's funny but so true! looks like most old people just want to feed their grandchildren and other children as well.
It's not like obesity is spreading or anything... ;\

Well if your (not yours specifically!) child is obese you've only got yourself to blame.
Parents should be in full control of what is served on their plates.

puffishoes

Zillah wrote: »

If you think a child will be perfectly happy with delayed gratification then I think you're misunderstanding one of the fundamental differences between adults and children.

When the child is used to never having sweets until after dinner or until it's Saturday or whatever it is shouldn't be an issue, if it is an issue this is a parental issue that needs to be addressed not a dodgey butcher.

Zillah wrote: »

Sure it can. Kindness can be stupid, intrusive and unhelpful. The intention is nice but that doesn't mean it isn't a problem. We as a culture have a terrible attitude towards sugar, it's very bad for you and shouldn't even be set up as a "reward" or treat - avoiding exposure to it as much as possible is a very healthy attitude, and I can see how having people shoving it in their faces on a daily basis could be aggravating.

I don't think so. a healthy attitude would be a balanced one where we understand that sugar in moderation isn't that big of an issue. A healthy attitude is not accusing your butcher of been stupid, intrusive and unhelpful because one has issues controlling their childs diet.

If it's a local butcher that you visit regularly go in without your child on occassion and advise them you would appreciate them not offer your child the sweet in future. I'm sure he'll be more than happy to oblige.

Squiggler

Teach your children to say "No thank you"?

Explain to them (at home) that they shouldn't accept food from strangers?

Nicely explain to the stranger that you would prefer that your child didn't have those sweets/that lollipop or whatever?

At the end of the day they are your children and you should stand up for your right to do what you believe is best for them.

My parents made sure we had plenty of healthy snacks to hand so we were rarely ever even tempted by offers of sugary rubbish. To this day I'd prefer a nice piece of cheese or fruit over a biscuit or cake every time!

puffishoes

haulagebasher wrote: »

In addition to the risks outline above, there is absolutely no telling what is in whatever they are giving them. Looks like jellies/whatever - could be anything really. Also even if they are real sweets who says that the oul fella or whatever even washes his hands. The food could also could be gone off and dangerous.If any stranger tried to feed my child I would be raging at them.

if in this case the butcher doesn't wash his hands, you have a lot more problems than the lollypop, he's probably going to give your familiy food poinsing.

what over the top nonsense.

Mike87

Zillah wrote: »

Most of the replies here were pre-emptively addressed by the original post, making them pretty stupid.

They contain trivial amounts of sugars, along with significant fibre and vitamins - they don't compare.

Well in fairness the OP's logic is flawed. OP doesnt want kids having sugar full stop- so that would include broccoli etc regardless of the other benefits the broccoli might include. But then again, the sugar rush is only a myth anyway so it really doesnt matter either way.

hefferboi

I work in a pub/restaurant and I always give children a purple snack when they're finished their meals. Now I feel bad.

DylanII

When I seen the thread title I thought you were complaining about parents who don't want you to give their children sweets.

Tombo2001

Mike87 wrote: »

Well in fairness the OP's logic is flawed. OP doesnt want kids having sugar full stop.

I never said that Mike.

My point is that I dont like it being flung at kids regularly without asking the parent first.

And regarding the point on sugar, I thought this would go without saying, but obviously it doesnt......I was referring in the OP to processed sugars. Sweets, candy, biscuits.

Mike87

Tombo2001 wrote: »

I never said that Mike.

So you didnt say "Please feel free to feed my kids.....as long as it doesnt have sugar in it."

Zillah

Mike87 wrote: »

Well in fairness the OP's logic is flawed. OP doesnt want kids having sugar full stop- so that would include broccoli etc regardless of the other benefits the broccoli might include. But then again, the sugar rush is only a myth anyway so it really doesnt matter either way.

Oh don't be silly. He obviously meant things that are empty sugar, like fizzy drinks, jellies and ice-cream...y'know, the things he specifically spoke about in the OP.

pwurple

Mmmm. Delicious empty sugar.

I kinda know where the OP is coming from. When you have a small one with an allergy as well, it can feel a bit stingy saying no to offers of cakes and biscuits. I used to say she has an allergy... but I got a few "sure that's all rubbish, she can have a small bit". I didn't want to have to drag out the epi-pen and show them her prescriptions, so I just stick to the no thanks now.

Stuff I recognise as safe I let her have though. It's what people do to be nice, and it is good practice for the "Thank you"s and how to interact politely with your elders. She was given a load of blueberries yesterday, it's not all sweets!

Neyite

I dont see what is wrong with checking with a parent before offering their child anything to eat or drink as a treat, I always have, even if its fruit - you just dont know what they may be allergic /sensitive to, or even if your treat means that they wont eat their dinner.

I have always tried to bring healthy treats to visit nephews/nieces - fruits, yoghurts or cheese, rather than crisps chocolate and fizzy drinks, and always checked with mum and dad first if they were allowed or not.

January

I've always been asked before anybody has offered anything to my children. The butcher would discreetly pick up the box of lollipops or the lady on the bus would ask if she could have a sweet before producing...

Maybe you're just meeting ignorant people OP...

cynder

Anyone who visits us always brings our kids sweets. We may add that they can eat them after dinner, or if they have had dinner they can have them right away.


They are healthy kids they are not fat, overweight or obese. They don't get hyperactive from sweets. As long as the sweet isn't hard like a glucose sweet or humbug I have no issues.

Hannibal Smith

Tombo2001 wrote: »

It seems there is no shortage of people out there who will randomly and out of the blue produce lollipops, biscuits, chocolate, yoghurts, fizzy orange, fizz bombs or whatever it is for the kids to eat.

I'll be on the bus, and some old dear will take a packet of jellies our of her bag and start waving them. We'll be in the butchers and he will throw a lollipop at them. We'll visit a grand-uncle and it will be a choice of ice-cream, coffee cake, 6 month old ginger snaps or TK lemonade.

For a long time, I was patient enough with this as quite clearly, they are only trying to be nice.

But it is just pissing me off more and more - why?

Number 1: It is hard enough to get kids to eat their dinner of potato, chicken and carrot......but if they have a belly full of ice cream then its simply not possible.
Number 2: Random stranger or kind relative doesnt have to deal with tantrum two hours later when kids have sugar rush and empty stomach.
Number 3: Any fool can win favour with a kid by giving them a packet of jellies...it requires no effort.....what are you proving?
Number 4: Sugar is bad for kids. Why are you giving it to them, especially when they are not asking for it.
Number 5: A child who isnt crying will pretty damny sure start crying if I tell them they cant have that chocolate kimberly you are waving in their face.
Number 6: Myself and my wife are the ones who wake up in the middle of the night when they are crying, who run around like blue arsed flies in the morning to get them dressed and fed, who devote all our energies to entertaining them, educating them, feeding them, clothing them. Treat time is a nice time for parents to have with their kids. But they can only have so many treats in a day. Why are you denying me this?

If you want to feed my kids without asking me first.....thats fine, as long as its a leaf of lettuce, a sprig of broccoli, a slice of tomato. Knock yourself out.

Sorry for rant folks. Long weekend.

I feel your pain OP...I don't understand what's so difficult about asking the parent first. I keep going on about my mother but she really is unreal and the ironic thing is...she's diabetic herself! The other week she brought a jar of sweets home from her holidays for him and handed them right to him! Fair enough though, he actually gave the jar to me and only took a few out of it and kept the rest :P.

I would never in a million years give a kid something without asking the parent if they're allowed have it. If it's the odd lollipop or something, that's fair enough, he doesn't have that many things like that, so it's nice as a treat.

The important thing as well is, you don't know the dietry requirements of the child or what they might be allergic to, so who on earth are you to decide what they can eat?

puffishoes

Neyite wrote: »

I dont see what is wrong with checking with a parent before offering their child anything to eat or drink as a treat, I always have, even if its fruit - you just dont know what they may be allergic /sensitive to, or even if your treat means that they wont eat their dinner.

I have always tried to bring healthy treats to visit nephews/nieces - fruits, yoghurts or cheese, rather than crisps chocolate and fizzy drinks, and always checked with mum and dad first if they were allowed or not.

There's absloutley nothing wrong with checking with the parent first. But most people just see it as a nice gesture and don't assume the kid is going to explode if they lick a lolly before they offer it. This over protective mind set is doing nothing for us, kids are going to be afraid of their own shadows with all these over reactions.

Tombo2001

puffishoes wrote: »

This over protective mind set is doing nothing for us, kids are going to be afraid of their own shadows with all these over reactions.

1 in 4 Irish children are clinically obese.