Your OH and email access?

Miss Lockhart

No way would I give a boyfriend passwords or pin numbers for phone or email. If I knew a friend's partner read their emails/messages then I wouldn't message them either. Totally unacceptable imo.

dr.bollocko

Roadend wrote: »

Just punch her in the face and tell her she'll get one each time she asks for your password. She'll soon stop asking for it.

banned.

CathyMoran

My husband and I have access to one another's email and phones - it is no big deal as neither of us have anything to hide - do not see the big deal about it.

Chain_reaction

CathyMoran wrote: »

My husband and I have access to one another's email and phones - it is no big deal as neither of us have anything to hide - do not see the big deal about it.

I've a feeling your set-up is a little less paranoid though.

I think my boyfriend knows my email password, nothing worth viewing though.


Op, deleting female contacts?

Run! NOW!!

dharma200

I think (and after talking to partner) , that the fact that this is even an issue is a bad sign. That means an issue either way, that it has been brought up, and not just a given that you have access to stuff like that, but that there is a question wether there should be access, and reluctance to give access.

The fact she wants access also.

Either way if you cant win. You give her access and it pisses you off, or you dont and she is pissed off.

Trigger13222

Hey man your biatch is crazy.

Giselle

CathyMoran wrote: »

My husband and I have access to one another's email and phones - it is no big deal as neither of us have anything to hide - do not see the big deal about it.

The big deal is if I'm emailing you, then I'm emailing YOU.
Not your husband.
If your husband reads my mails to you, its my privacy invaded too.

It wasn't me!

There's also the fact that even perfectly innocent conversations need supporting context, and anyone this demonstrably crazy is definitely going to read total fairy tales into absolutely everything she reads. Even if you did give her access, I guarantee that she will go batshít crazy over completely meaningless crap, then it's your fault, somehow. I'd be out of there like a shot, myself. If I have to explain why privacy is important for everyone, the person is too stupid to date, in my book.

hatrickpatrick

100%, completely, totally, utterly and unconditionally no.
It goes both ways too. I will never, ever ask any girlfriend of mine for her password to anything, nor will I ever give her any grief whatsoever about who she chooses to be friends with, male or female. And I will instantly walk away from a relationship if I receive any such grief from her.

Being in a relationship does not mean you cease to be an individual.

hatrickpatrick

IrishExpat wrote: »

Honestly this, and a few other problems started nearly the second after we made the decision to move in together.

Example: two weeks back I noticed a few contacts missing from my phone (all female). When confronted about it, she confirmed that yes she had deleted the numbers, ´in case I was flirting´ :eek: They were business contacts, which I can´t get back so easily.

I´m in two minds here, tell her to cop on, or accept that this isn´t going to work. We´re together about a year, but living together for a bit less than 3 months.

Holy SH!T :eek: :eek: :eek:

Reverse the genders here and people would legitimately be calling this abusive. It IS abusive.
This is going to sound harsh since you guys just moved in together, but you need to get the hell out of this relationship ASAP. She's obviously one of those people who equates a relationship getting more serious = having more control over your partner. This will only get worse, and worse, and worse.

Lippy C

What you have to ask yourself is what is next???? Worrying!!!

hatrickpatrick

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Reverse the genders here and people would legitimately be calling this abusive. It IS abusive.

He's dead right you know.

Think about it. If a woman came on here and said that they had just moved in with their boyfriend, and the boyf had deleted all the male contacts from her phone and demanded passwords for email/boards/Facebook, everyone would be telling her to get out of such a controlling relationship as fast as she possibly can.

That's absolute madness OP.

For Forks Sake

OP.

RUN.

RUN LIKE F*CK.

iguana

Giselle wrote: »

The big deal is if I'm emailing you, then I'm emailing YOU.
Not your husband.
If your husband reads my mails to you, its my privacy invaded too.

This argument has come up a lot on the the thread but people show other people their emails, letters and texts all the time.

Miss Lockhart

iguana wrote: »

This argument has come up a lot on the the thread but people show other people their emails, letters and texts all the time.

I have never found it the norm for decent people to show others emails/texts/letters with private or sensitive content about the sender.

It wasn't me!

iguana wrote: »

This argument has come up a lot on the the thread but people show other people their emails, letters and texts all the time.

I don't. I'm private about my communications. Not because I have anything to hide from anyone, but because anyone who talks to me is not talking to other people who might read my phone/emails/whatever. Similarly, I expect that anyone else not be chatting to their friends and sharing our private communications, and if they did, they'd not hear from me again.

Tombi!

iguana wrote: »

This argument has come up a lot on the the thread but people show other people their emails, letters and texts all the time.

There is a very, very big difference to me leaving my phone opened with a text/email opened/letter opened and my partner saying "give me access to your private stuff".

marienbad

CathyMoran wrote: »

My husband and I have access to one another's email and phones - it is no big deal as neither of us have anything to hide - do not see the big deal about it.

what about people e-mailing ye- are they aware they are e-mailing 2 people and not 1 ? What about their privacy ?

ziggy

This post has been deleted.

eth0

IrishExpat wrote: »

Mods: if this has been covered, please delete/merge.

I´ve been having a sort of relationship problem recently, stemming from herself and my email account(s), and wether or not to allow her access, or know the password.

If i told most people the password for my email they still wouldnt be able to get in

iguana

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

There is a very, very big difference to me leaving my phone opened with a text/email opened/letter opened and my partner saying "give me access to your private stuff".

I'm not even talking about that. I'm talking about when someone gets an email, letter or text from someone that they aren't sure about how to reply to, maybe because it's come from someone they have a crush on or someone they are arguing with, and they show it to a friend/partner in order to get their advice about what it means and how to respond. I find it very hard to believe that the majority of people have never, ever shown or been shown a message like that. While I'd assume that most of what I send to friends is too boring to interest anyone but them, I'd never assume that something I write down (or type) is in anyway private, that seems naive in the extreme.

Jammy Donut

Run forest run......

Ficheall

iguana wrote: »

I'm not even talking about that. I'm talking about when someone gets an email, letter or text from someone that they aren't sure about how to reply to, maybe because it's come from someone they have a crush on or someone they are arguing with, and they show it to a friend/partner in order to get their advice about what it means and how to respond. I find it very hard to believe that the majority of people have never, ever shown or been shown a message like that. While I'd assume that most of what I send to friends is too boring to interest anyone but them, I'd never assume that something I write down (or type) is in anyway private, that seems naive in the extreme.

X receiving a message from Y and deciding to show it to Z is not the same as Y sending their message directly to Z at all, at all...

iguana

Ficheall wrote: »

X receiving a message from Y and deciding to show it to Z is not the same as Y sending their message directly to Z at all, at all...

I'm responding to all the people who are upset by the fact that lots of couples have access to each other's email addresses and think it's a betrayal of the privacy of anyone who sends one of them an email. What I'm saying is that even people who don't allow others to access their accounts very likely show other people certain correspondences and it's naive to think that it's not something that doesn't happen.

KKkitty

Emails and texts are sent from one person to another and yes you may not always know exactly how to respond but I wouldn't show my other half the whole email or text message. I'd maybe give a summary of its content and I always ask people if it's ok that I ask my other half for advice to start with. We're living in a very inquisitive age and technology and its advances are adding to the fire with peoples preoccupation with knowing what each other are up to. Years ago it was done through word of mouth but now it's done with laptops and phones.

Shryke

Terrible image of the break up going wrong. OP currently inhabiting 3 separate bin bags.

Vicar in a tutu

Lorena Bobbit?:pac:

KKkitty

Vicar in a tutu wrote: »

Lorena Bobbit?:pac:

The hype over that Wayned a little through the years

Vicar in a tutu

KKkitty wrote: »

The hype over that Wayned a little through the years

Hey you never know though.. It's blown over, so I'll do it again:o

KKkitty

Vicar in a tutu wrote: »

KKkitty wrote: »

The hype over that Wayned a little through the years

Hey you never know though.. It's blown over, so I'll do it again:o

Don't be so riddickless