Men-emasculated by 50 shades ?

Morag

pimbeche wrote: »

Has anyone noticed that bar a handful of women , the bad reviews / outpouring of disaprovals for this book are mainly coming from men ?

Even looking at threads that have been started on boards , the majority of the slating is being done by men....

Just like porn has always been considered a guys thing , it seems that this book is turning into a womens thing.

While I dont love the book , I dont hate it either and Im beginning to think that maybe there is some jealousy coming from the guys that women have something of their own.

Am I the only one who has noticed this or what ?

I have slated it and I am a woman.

Erotic fiction has been around for hundreds of year and it's been on sale for the last 40 years here, it's nothing new and yes women seem more interested in it were as men prefer pictures.

Clit lit or 'steamy' novels have always been seen as a womans thing, even with soft core short stories being in women's mags for the last 30 years.

So it's as a genre it's nothing new.

As for 50shadesofgak, it's badly written, woeful to read and details not a romantic relationship but an abusive one and has many misconceptions about BDSM and kink relationships.

People should go read the story of O or Justine or any of the books published by Black Lace.

http://www.eburypublishing.co.uk/virginbooks.asp

Black Lace Books
Launched in 1993, Black Lace was the first erotic fiction list written by women for women. Still the best known erotic fiction imprint in the UK, we relaunched the list in 2012, and published bestsellers The Ninety Days of Genevieve by Lucinda Carrington and In Too Deep by Portia Da Costa. We have similar plans to relaunch Nexus, our erotic fiction list aimed at men.

ibarelycare

pimbeche wrote: »

And as I said , a lot of women will be too ashamed to say they liked it .

Where are you coming up with this assumption?

pimbeche

pimbeche wrote: »

And as I said , a lot of women will be too ashamed to say they liked it .

first you said "some women" and now you say "a lot"
any friends of mine would have no problem saying they liked it if they did, but we hate it. because it's badly written crap. i haven't even read anything beyond the excerpts and kindle previews and i can see that!
i also have no problem saying that i have read much better ones of the same genre

4zn76tysfajdxp

Sharrow wrote: »

People should go read the story of O or Justine or any of the books published by Black Lace.

http://www.eburypublishing.co.uk/virginbooks.asp

In Too Deep by Portia Da Costa

*sniggers*

cruiser178

My oh started reading it few nights ago but says she would prefer to read erotic fiction from porn sites, she says it gets to the point a lot quicker, and i like her way of thinking.

Although not everyone thought it was so bad http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/6799040/wet-floor-sign-in-front-of-50-shades-of-grey

Dangerous Man

My GF read all three books. She said the first two were garbage but the last one wasn't bad; 'it was more like an actual book,' she said, and that it wasn't chock-full of what seemed like a 12-year-old girl's imaginings of what sex is.

Personally, I read a few excerpts and couldn't believe how badly written they were. They were smothered in cliches and hackneyed turns of phrase. Also, from a technical point of view, they were just awful - terrible.

I think the OP is absolutely miles off in her assertions though. I don't begrudge the novelist's success - she's hit on a formula that works and is making money. Good for her. I really don't see anything emasculating in the 50 Shades series either. Most guys couldn't care less and simply won't read it.

Actually I've noticed that most of the people slating it - haven't actually read it, be they male or female.

I considered reading it, to see what all the fuss is about. But I think I'd rather just actually watch some porn thanks.

kowloon

The Master wrote: »

The Fifty Shades trilogy was developed from a Twilight fan fiction originally titled Master of the Universe

.

If it was in any way as good as Masters of the Universe I wouldn't be complaining.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-Qd388kSK4

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Actually I've noticed that most of the people slating it - haven't actually read it, be they male or female.

I considered reading it, to see what all the fuss is about. But I think I'd rather just actually watch some porn thanks.

i read the first couple chapters you can get as a preview on the kindle shops
and a bunch of quotes
but yeah rather spend my time with better things

Shivers26

Should have been called Fifty Shades of Sh1te to be honest. Bought the 3 of them online to see what all the fuss is about. Not even finished the first one yet and not particularly impressed.
The S&M aspect doesn't bother me (doesn't do anything for me either) but it is the abusive, controlling behaviour that is portrayed (and glorified) in the book that turns my stomach.

I have a friend who is into BDSM in a big way and she says how it is portrayed in those books is very very inaccurate and borderline offensive to true BDSM practitioners.

I'd rather my own husbag any day of the week.

ibarelycare

Deleted User wrote: »

Actually I've noticed that most of the people slating it - haven't actually read it, be they male or female.

I considered reading it, to see what all the fuss is about. But I think I'd rather just actually watch some porn thanks.

Yep, exactly the same with the Twilight books. I've had people say to me before "I can't believe you read Twilight, that's so sad" or something along those lines, but at least I'm the one who's qualified to slag them off, whereas the people who haven't read them and slag them off are just being sheep

hatrickpatrick

If lads are too scared to try out a little BDSM.... Well actually that doesn't surprise me too much in "post Catholic Ireland" :P

Sala

Is 50 shades just a Dan Brown moment where the hype gets out of control? I intend to read it although I haven't got around to it (never got around to reading Dan Brown either!) just so I know what everyone is talking about. Anyone I know who has read it said it was very badly written.

super_furry

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

If lads are too scared to try out a little BDSM.... Well actually that doesn't surprise me too much in "post Catholic Ireland" :P

This post

---

The point

Diapason

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

If lads are too scared to try out a little BDSM.... Well actually that doesn't surprise me too much in "post Catholic Ireland" :P

Criticising a novel for being badly-written = too scared to try BDSM.

I see.

ibarelycare

ibarelycare wrote: »

Yep, exactly the same with the Twilight books. I've had people say to me before "I can't believe you read Twilight, that's so sad" or something along those lines, but at least I'm the one who's qualified to slag them off, whereas the people who haven't read them and slag them off are just being sheep

I read, and will happily admit that I enjoyed, all of the twilight books. Yeh they're badly written, and she could do with coming up with a few more verbs and adjectives, but they were my guilty pleasure!!

Shivers26

Sala wrote: »

Is 50 shades just a Dan Brown moment where the hype gets out of control? I intend to read it although I haven't got around to it (never got around to reading Dan Brown either!) just so I know what everyone is talking about. Anyone I know who has read it said it was very badly written.

Yes, pretty much. I'd never even heard of them before and in June a girl I was working with told me about it and I've heard of nothing else since! Word of mouth advertising at its best.

You should just read them anyway and judge for yourself. I know loads who did actually like them.

They are quite badly written. Punctuated with emails and text messages, that just gets annoying and very little character development (so far!)

Shivers26

Deleted User wrote: »

I read, and will happily admit that I enjoyed, all of the twilight books. Yeh they're badly written, and she could do with coming up with a few more verbs and adjectives, but they were my guilty pleasure!!

I'll come out of the closet seeing as you went first. I did actually quite like the Twilight books.

I wanted to die of embarrassment watching the movies though, especially that last one.

Sea Filly

Bad Panda wrote: »

Honestly, I don't recall the jealousy accusation by men on here, but I'm sure it happens too.

My point is that when it comes to sex/looks related it's usually women throwing it around to feel somewhat empowered.

Not in my experience!

Feeona

I haven't read the books at all but I have been surprised by the type of disdain some men have for them. They're just books. It reminds me of the disdain some men have for Sex and the City. I think there is a particular type of man who does not like to see women enjoying the same things he enjoys himself, puts them on a more equal footing in his own mind. These type of people still exist unfortunately :eek:. 'Closet chauvinists' I call them.

Sea Filly

Dangerous Man wrote: »

My GF read all three books. She said the first two were garbage but the last one wasn't bad

Why did she keep reading to the third book?

Wompa1

I don't think I'm jealous..Maybe I am. 50 Shade of Grey is just another girls fad that somehow gets pushed to the forefront of pop culture and like it or not you're going to hear about it. It helped inspire my little blog. How Girls Are Destroying the World. Read it, won't you?

http://thecityfathers.com/2012/08/08/how-girls-are-destroying-the-world/

Duggy747

It's hilariously awful (from the extracts I've seen) and every girl I know who've read it have said it's horrifically written.

I've actually never heard criticism from men, moreso women who are insulted that this is the kind of literature their gender is assumed to be only interested in.

Honestly, I could've wrote a better story and posted it up on a BDSM site.

Feeona wrote:

It reminds me of the disdain some men have for Sex and the City. I think there is a particular type of man who does not like to see women enjoying the same things he enjoys himself, puts them on a more equal footing in his own mind

No, SATC was just materialistic shìte no matter who watched it.

Sea Filly

Deleted User wrote: »

Actually I've noticed that most of the people slating it - haven't actually read it, be they male or female.

Well, I've personally read some excerpts, I wouldn't criticise it if I hadn't.

Bad Panda

Deleted User wrote: »

I read, and will happily admit that I enjoyed, all of the twilight books. Yeh they're badly written, and she could do with coming up with a few more verbs and adjectives, but they were my guilty pleasure!!

I don't see what the problem is. Everyone has guilty pleasures. Mine are crap horror movies.

Why aren't people getting up on their high horse about all the poorly written films and tv shows we enjoy?

Oh that's right, 50 shades is in. Hi-ho silver!

Sea Filly

ibarelycare wrote: »

Yep, exactly the same with the Twilight books. I've had people say to me before "I can't believe you read Twilight, that's so sad" or something along those lines, but at least I'm the one who's qualified to slag them off, whereas the people who haven't read them and slag them off are just being sheep

You can read excerpts though, to give you a feel for a book. You don't have to read the whole thing to slate it! Indeed, why would you read the whole thing if you think it's terrible?

Sea Filly

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

If lads are too scared to try out a little BDSM.... Well actually that doesn't surprise me too much in "post Catholic Ireland" :P

Well the book demonstrates that the author knows feck all about the subject so not liking it tells you nothing about Irish men and their predilections. :cool:

Sea Filly

Wompa1 wrote: »

I don't think I'm jealous..Maybe I am. 50 Shade of Grey is just another girls fad that somehow gets pushed to the forefront of pop culture and like it or not you're going to hear about it. It helped inspire my little blog. How Girls Are Destroying the World. Read it, won't you?

http://thecityfathers.com/2012/08/08/how-girls-are-destroying-the-world/

No thanks! :cool:

stovelid

Sea Filly wrote: »

Why did she keep reading to the third book?

Must be desperate for any type of a ride.

Joey the lips

No problem with me. i just wish i was tied up whipped and what every ana got done to her...

I am def submissive when it comes to kinky ****.

ibarelycare

Sea Filly wrote: »

You can read excerpts though, to give you a feel for a book. You don't have to read the whole thing to slate it! Indeed, why would you read the whole thing if you think it's terrible?

Because I was interested to see how the story would progress.

Sea Filly

Sea Filly wrote: »

Well, I've personally read some excerpts, I wouldn't criticise it if I hadn't.

The people I'm talking about have never even seen the book, let alone read excerpts!

I was listening to the radio recently and they were discussing the latest Big Wet Asses DVD release. Oh wait, they weren't actually.

Sea Filly

ibarelycare wrote: »

Because I was interested to see how the story would progress.

I read a book firstly for the writing, so I couldn't do that.

foxyboxer

I haven't read it and don't plan on reading it. Believe me, I picked up a copy of Twilight in Waterstones once and read a page. If it's anything like that purple prose sh1te then allow me to draw an analogy with Films.

Box Office receipts are no reflection on the actual quality of the film in question. When something like Transformers: Dark of the Moon can gross over a billion dollars at the box office and considering how sh1t that film is, I can only surmise that the insane popularity of 50 SOG can be likened to that of the Transformers film.

People don't want to think, and from reviews i've read of 50 SOG it sounds like a 'open the book, turn off your brain, close the book' kind of read. Just like the Transformers film.

ibarelycare

Sea Filly wrote: »

I read a book firstly for the writing, so I couldn't do that.

Well good for you

cynder

Tbh, I find the sex pretty mild, not at all BDSM, it's pretty normal stuff minus the use of a anal beads, butt plug, nipple clamps, crop and flogger, who hasn't tried handcuffs or been tied up? Ok maybe not everyone gets the Chance to use an elevator for extra activities but thats not BDSM.

I read the book just as it was getting popular about 3 months ago, too much sex in the first book but I wanted to find out why grey was the way he was so read the other 2 books. They had less sex and more of a story line.

The sex scenes themselves were nothing to shout about, never got my blood racing. I found they were somewhat repetitive, the language used was far from erotic...

The controlling behavior - well it's only a book. I didnt find it glorified. She tamed him a little.

ibarelycare

cynder wrote: »

The controlling behavior - well it's only a book. I didnt find it glorified. She tamed him a little.

The worrying thing is that people will actually use this book as a guideline for future relationships. They'll find hope in it that they can change an emotionally and (arguably) physically abusive person. The book downplays that so much. He's not some "bad guy" with a hint of danger that women should get excited about. He's manipulative, controlling and possessive. It's completely and utterly unrealistic and dangerous for women to think they can change someone like that.

ibarelycare

ibarelycare wrote: »

The worrying thing is that people will actually use this book as a guideline for future relationships. They'll find hope in it that they can change an emotionally and (arguably) physically abusive person. The book downplays that so much. He's not some "bad guy" with a hint of danger that women should get excited about. He's manipulative, controlling and possessive. It's completely and utterly unrealistic and dangerous for women to think they can change someone like that.

From the bits I've read I'd find any woman who took any inspiration from the book very boring both sexually and intellectually.

Dangerous Man

It is a work of fiction - a novel - not a self-help book. If women use this as inspiration to help them in their daily lives, they are already beyond helping.

Wompa1

ibarelycare wrote: »

The worrying thing is that people will actually use this book as a guideline for future relationships. They'll find hope in it that they can change an emotionally and (arguably) physically abusive person. The book downplays that so much. He's not some "bad guy" with a hint of danger that women should get excited about. He's manipulative, controlling and possessive. It's completely and utterly unrealistic and dangerous for women to think they can change someone like that.

Ah well, sure romantic comedies also set unrealistic expectations but it's what sells to the girls. Money talks. I'd say it's up to parents but once girls get into their teens I'd bet there's very little you can do. They have to start making their own decisions and a lot decide to absorb this kind of crap

Sala

ibarelycare wrote: »

The worrying thing is that people will actually use this book as a guideline for future relationships. They'll find hope in it that they can change an emotionally and (arguably) physically abusive person. The book downplays that so much. He's not some "bad guy" with a hint of danger that women should get excited about. He's manipulative, controlling and possessive. It's completely and utterly unrealistic and dangerous for women to think they can change someone like that.

I don't think this is an issue, people can separate fantasy from reality - it is just a book after all. My guilty literary secret is trashy crime novels which I love reading but I have no desire to murder or rape or beome a detective or coroner.

LittleBook

ibarelycare wrote: »

The worrying thing is that people will actually use this book as a guideline for future relationships. They'll find hope in it that they can change an emotionally and (arguably) physically abusive person. The book downplays that so much. He's not some "bad guy" with a hint of danger that women should get excited about. He's manipulative, controlling and possessive. It's completely and utterly unrealistic and dangerous for women to think they can change someone like that.

I wouldn't worry about it. If a woman a women uses this absurd story written in bargain basement prose as a guideline for future relationships, it'll be because she's already fúcked up, not because she read this book.

Feisar

ibarelycare wrote: »

The worrying thing is that people will actually use this book as a guideline for future relationships. They'll find hope in it that they can change an emotionally and (arguably) physically abusive person. The book downplays that so much. He's not some "bad guy" with a hint of danger that women should get excited about. He's manipulative, controlling and possessive. It's completely and utterly unrealistic and dangerous for women to think they can change someone like that.

Who bases there lives around fiction? That's like saying sitcoms are unrealistic and people shouldn't base any real world experiences around them.

Dr.Broccoli

I read some quotes from online. It's more a comedy than anything.

Probably read by people who don't use the internet much or the ones you see on facebook saying "heading into the bath now xxx"

Diapason

Dr.Broccoli wrote: »

"heading into the bath now xxx"

Ooooh, saucy. What are you wearing?

hatrickpatrick

Dangerous Man wrote: »

It is a work of fiction - a novel - not a self-help book.

So were the writings of Ron Hubbard, at first. Look where that ended up.

Sea Filly

ibarelycare wrote: »

Well good for you

No need to be defensive! It wasn't an attack.

Dangerous Man

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

So were the writings of Ron Hubbard, at first. Look where that ended up.

Nice one!

cynder

ibarelycare wrote: »

cynder wrote: »

The controlling behavior - well it's only a book. I didnt find it glorified. She tamed him a little.

The worrying thing is that people will actually use this book as a guideline for future relationships. They'll find hope in it that they can change an emotionally and (arguably) physically abusive person. The book downplays that so much. He's not some "bad guy" with a hint of danger that women should get excited about. He's manipulative, controlling and possessive. It's completely and utterly unrealistic and dangerous for women to think they can change someone like that.

My mother changed a man like that, took her 25 years.

He didn't hit her in the bedroom, it was in the living room, in the kitchen in front of us kids. He was possessive and controlling. After saying that the book is not based on a true story.


It's not a true story. It doesn't claim to be, its fictional. They are fictional characters.