Biggest animal you could Beat in fight to death.

Scanlas The 2nd

Rat yes, cat yes, though nasty scratches wouldn't be nice. Not sure about dogs, I reckon I might have a chance against a Labrador. By all accounts I'd have no chance against a monkey. Very vicious animals.

El Horseboxo

Just spank the monkey. You'll beat him.

Mint Sauce

<calls ISPCA>

crazy cabbage

i think i could beat a whale to death on dry land

rolexeagle1

Giraffe

Where To

A dead one.

senorwipesalot

No problem choking a chicken.

Littlehorny

I beat your ma's beaver last night!

Wibbs

I reckon I could take a hamster.

FearDark

Op is just flogging a dead donkey with this thread.

PseudoFamous

If armed with an edged weapon of some sort, large knife or the likes, I'd say a lone tiger or something would be relatively doable.

Unarmed, I'd guess a medium-large dog would be possible to kill if I got the jump on it.

ScumLord

Most animals work on the principle of bigger is better. Humans have the advantage of height due to standing upright and being known in the animal kingdom for being extremely dangerous. You'd be hard pushed to find an animal that's going to want to start a fight with a human on a one on one basis. Even Lions and tigers will give humans a wide berth.

People might say a straight fight without weapons but that's like telling a lion he has to fight without using his teeth and claws. If we can use our human weapons there isn't an animal on the planet just about any human couldn't beat.

BunShopVoyeur

I'd be confident enough that is be able to kick a cat to death...any bigger and it gets iffy.


To be honest I wouldn't actually want to hurt any other animal. Cats on the other hand...break their stupid backs.

CyberJuice

what about dinosaurs

J Mysterio

BunShopVoyeur wrote: »

I'd be confident enough that is be able to kick a cat to death...any bigger and it gets iffy.


To be honest I wouldn't actually want to hurt any other animal. Cats on the other hand...break their stupid backs.

Thats shockingly awful but very funny.

Colmustard

I could beat a beaver and pound an ass.

Daroxtar

This one

Capt'n Midnight

I could take on a blue whale , as long as it wasn't near the water

Cee-Jay-Cee

I could beat a cow to death, in fact I have done (on more than one occasion). You do not want to fuck with me.

Ghandee

ScumLord wrote: »

Most animals work on the principle of bigger is better. Humans have the advantage of height due to standing upright and being known in the animal kingdom for being extremely dangerous. You'd be hard pushed to find an animal that's going to want to start a fight with a human on a one on one basis. Even Lions and tigers will give humans a wide berth.

People might say a straight fight without weapons but that's like telling a lion he has to fight without using his teeth and claws. If we can use our human weapons there isn't an animal on the planet just about any human couldn't beat.

A teenaged human.

BunShopVoyeur

CJC999 wrote: »

I could beat a cow to death, in fact I have done (on more than one occasion). You do not want to fuck with me.

I'm picturing you as Ross Kemp in Extras.

"Super Army Soldiers"

lubie76

J Mysterio wrote: »

BunShopVoyeur wrote: »

I'd be confident enough that is be able to kick a cat to death...any bigger and it gets iffy.


To be honest I wouldn't actually want to hurt any other animal. Cats on the other hand...break their stupid backs.

Thats shockingly awful but very funny.

I disagree, someone who is only confident enough to kill an animal about a 10th of their size and would enjoy breaking their back....need I say more?

BunShopVoyeur

lubie76 wrote: »

J Mysterio wrote: »

BunShopVoyeur wrote: »

I'd be confident enough that is be able to kick a cat to death...any bigger and it gets iffy.


To be honest I wouldn't actually want to hurt any other animal. Cats on the other hand...break their stupid backs.

Thats shockingly awful but very funny.

I disagree, someone who is only confident enough to kill an animal about a 10th of their size and would enjoy breaking their back....need I say more?

It was a joke...ah, the joyless hysterical animal nuts. Always a pleasure

JupiterKid

A duck sized horse and a horse sized duck....oh wait.


"What a way to go...to be pecked to death!" (Woody Allen, Sleeper, 1973).:pac:

Motorist

Wonder how Liam Neeson got on fighting the wolves in The Grey

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2012/2/6/1328531474348/Liam-Neeson-in-The-Grey-007.jpg

wandatowell

me ex

Seaneh

A manatee, I could beat the **** out of a manatee, or just hold it under the water until it drowned.

Vicar in a tutu

A Kangaroo. Definitely.

But I wouldnt:cool:

J Mysterio

Motorist wrote: »

Wonder how Liam Neeson got on fighting the wolves in The Grey

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2012/2/6/1328531474348/Liam-Neeson-in-The-Grey-007.jpg

Terrible terrible teririble film. Awful.

WumBuster

A tiger. Just pull his tail

Seaneh

Vicar in a tutu wrote: »

A Kangaroo. Definitely.

But I wouldnt:cool:

A fully grown male red kangaroo is over 6 feet tall, weighs about 13.5 stone and could tear your face off.

Duckworth_Luas

I'd take a dinosaur! Any dinosaurs out there want to rumble? Didn't think so, cowards!

Melanoma

I could kill a bacteria with my hard core white blood cells. I'd be like lads cant we all just get along but you know those feckless fellows take no prisoners. They be like Lawrence of Arabia in that film. I don't know though maybe one day I will be reincarnated n take up the life of a tiger. Then I could walk around all proud n be like see there my teeth and claws but I think I'd just eat when I was hungry and not worry about what was the biggest thing I could kill.

2 stroke

A dodo.

Inscrutable

I reckon I could kill a honey badger.

Duckworth_Luas

Inscrutable wrote: »

I reckon I could kill a honey badger.

Have you got a nuclear missile?

sheesh

I believe I would come in somewhere between a 3 toed sloth and a giant ant eater

I'd have to fall on it obviously

kowloon

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Rat yes, cat yes, though nasty scratches wouldn't be nice. Not sure about dogs, I reckon I might have a chance against a Labrador. By all accounts I'd have no chance against a monkey. Very vicious animals.

It depends on the Monkey in question.

ScumLord

Melanoma wrote: »

I could kill a bacteria with my hard core white blood cells.

I'd rather face a multi-celled organism that has a brain and understands fear than Bacteria or viruses. They still rule the roost when it comes to deadly living things and they simply don't give a flying fudge about us or their own well being. We live with the most deadly bacteria on a daily basis it's only when they take a disliking to their surroundings (they're in a different part of the body than they're used too) that they become deadly. Everyone reading this thread is riddled with E. coli.

Reindeer

This sort of reminds me of the saying, "It's not the dog in the fight, but the fight in the dog". In our woefully sedate lives, we have not conditioned ourselves for any sort of fight, really. When one breaks out, even among rivals, it rarely ends up in serious injury or fatalities. How many here have fought for their very lives? The difference being is that when a human engages a wild animal in combat - that animal often will fight for it's very life, it rarely will be pulling punches, and it isn't likely the first time it has ever done so. If that animal does not seek an escape route at the first opportunity, that human is in for a rough ride. If that human is the target, heaven help them.

The jaws on a large dog and the claws on tigers are capable of ripping limbs from your body, and are far sharper than we often imagine. I work in dog rescue every chance I get, and I have several scars and stitches as proof, all from frightened or startled animals bent on defense, not on attacking. I nearly lost a nose and a finger. And neither of those animals were trying anything more than a warning nip. Had they chosen that moment to attack me, it would have been a life-changing experience for me at the very least. And they weren't even half my size.

Without weapons and the skills and the will to use them, our chances against most real tooth and nail animals is not very good, one on one.

dlofnep

LOL @ taking out a Tiger with a knife.

Do you know how immensely powerful Tigers are? They would sever your neck in a split second before you could even think about stabbing them.

I think I'd have a chance against most domestic dogs - but wolves are a different story. They are tenacious hunters, who would die in attempt to taking down their prey.

Humans are soft, we are not ready for combat. Put a human of today, up against the likes of Homo Heidelbergensis, and we'd be ripped into two pieces.

Whatsisname

A grizzly bear. Twice.

J. Marston

A Walrus maybe. I'd have the speed and maneuverability advantage definitely so I could stick and move with kicks and punches. Beating it to death would take a while though.

But if it gets me with those tusks, I'm fúcked.

Dangerous Man

I could beat one of those big turtles to death fairly handy I'd imagine. If it decided to hide in its shell I could flip it over and stamp on it until it died.

chasm

A spider, as long as i had the option to use a shoe or boot

Duff

I'd say I could bate the shíte out of a rabbit.

--Kaiser--

dlofnep wrote: »

Humans are soft, we are not ready for combat. Put a human of today, up against the likes of Homo Heidelbergensis, and we'd be ripped into two pieces.

Modern humans in western societies, soft? Yeah, most of them.

Humans as a species, soft? Not at all, we've spent hundreds of thousands of years being apex predators. Top of the food chain. There are no apex predators that could be referred to as soft

Kolido

ScumLord wrote: »

Most animals work on the principle of bigger is better. Humans have the advantage of height due to standing upright and being known in the animal kingdom for being extremely dangerous. You'd be hard pushed to find an animal that's going to want to start a fight with a human on a one on one basis. Even Lions and tigers will give humans a wide berth.

People might say a straight fight without weapons but that's like telling a lion he has to fight without using his teeth and claws. If we can use our human weapons there isn't an animal on the planet just about any human couldn't beat.

I think a lot of girls follow this principle also!

Surely in a fight w/out weapons, a lion's teeth and claws would not be considered a foriegn object. Would'nt that be like telling the humans not to use their arms?

cowzerp

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Modern humans in western societies, soft? Yeah, most of them.

Humans as a species, soft? Not at all, we've spent hundreds of thousands of years being apex predators. Top of the food chain. There are no apex predators that could be referred to as soft

That's down to intelligence, Human's are soft and if it was not down to intelligence to use weapons etc humans would be useless predators.

Bruce7

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

Twink.

I was on the Dart a few years ago and overheard a conversation between two stage hands at the Olympia - both real old school Dubs. It was around Christmas time and Twink was starring in the panto. One of them was telling the other one how she kept coming on to him. He was doing something with the lights one day and she came over to tell him how she wanted to be lit, and ended up climbing up a ladder in front of him to show him the angle she wanted a light to be at. She was wearing a short skirt and no knickers and looked down and winked at him as she gave him a flash of her growler.

"Jaysus!" your man's mate said, in disgust. "What did it look like?"

"Like Ronnie Drew got shot in the face!"

Washington Irving

A rhino