Biggest animal you could Beat in fight to death.

paddyandy

No Animal in the Wild can be successfully fought by a man with bare hands .Tame ones can be easy targets and Tortoises .Do i forget something ?

Ghost Buster

A billy goat. They look big and have those big menacing horns but they are pussys. I grew up on a farm and aged ten i could wrestle a full grown billy goat to the ground. Under a shaggy coat they are scrawny light weights with no coordination or strength. The trick, if you ever encounter one with an attitude, is to grab em by the horns before they get up any momentum, twist em onto their backs and ice the cu..n.t.
No need to thank me.

--Kaiser--

cowzerp wrote: »

That's down to intelligence, Human's are soft and if it was not down to intelligence to use weapons etc humans would be useless predators.

Firstly, that's a ridiculous point. We are intelligent and we do use tools. May as well ask would a lion be a good predator without teeth or claws.

Secondly, you only need to look at the Olympics to see the extraordinary feats that a human body is capable of

Remmy

A black bear. Yep I think I can take a black bear.

PhlegmyMoses

I would say a tiger. I'd be smarter, almost as fast and have a pretty good wingspan so could probably keep him at arm's length if I got the jab going.

El Guapo!

I wouldn't mind bitch-slapping a penguin tbh.

Cienciano

After thinking long and hard about it, there's not many animals of any decent size I could kill with my bare hands. So I'm going for a really fat human, at almost 600kg, this guy:
http://www.ra-re.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Manuel_Uribe.jpg

Donnielighto

Ghost Buster wrote: »

A billy goat. They look big and have those big menacing horns but they are pussys. I grew up on a farm and aged ten i could wrestle a full grown billy goat to the ground. Under a shaggy coat they are scrawny light weights with no coordination or strength. The trick, if you ever encounter one with an attitude, is to grab em by the horns before they get up any momentum, twist em onto their backs and ice the cu..n.t.
No need to thank me.

this is true, same story for sheep, any animal with horns is at a disadvantage if you cant get a hold of the horns and twist.


Largest wild animal id be confident of beating.... i'd be pretty confident of taking down a lone wolf or a a deer.

A key thing is that humans dont have a natural cutting or punturcing weap on them so a key part of our tactic would be to avoid getting caught too much and outmanouvering the animal, also our skin isnt as tough as a lot of wild animals. I think id fúck up a baboon as well, use hands as a guard, get it to ground facing down and straggle it from behind while on its back

--Kaiser--

Donnielighto wrote: »

this is true, same story for sheep, any animal with horns is at a disadvantage if you cant get a hold of the horns and twist.


Largest wild animal id be confident of beating.... i'd be pretty confident of taking down a lone wolf or a a deer.

A key thing is that humans dont have a natural cutting or punturcing weap on them so a key part of our tactic would be to avoid getting caught too much and outmanouvering the animal, also our skin isnt as tough as a lot of wild animals. I think id fúck up a baboon as well, use hands as a guard, get it to ground facing down and straggle it from behind while on its back

You think you could take a baboon? They have canines larger than that of a lion, their bite force is about 6,000 lbs per square inch.

As for a wolf....good luck

ScumLord

Kolido wrote: »

Surely in a fight w/out weapons, a lion's teeth and claws would not be considered a foriegn object. Would'nt that be like telling the humans not to use their arms?

My point was simply that humans using weapons is as natural as a dog dragging it's arse along the floor.

If your a good walker most people could kill a large herbivore simply by making it run to exhaustion. They'll keep trying to run away from you until they drop down dead.

Bad Panda

A human.

Itwasntme.

cowzerp wrote: »

That's down to intelligence, Human's are soft and if it was not down to intelligence to use weapons etc humans would be useless predators.

Fair enough, most people probably could not take on a lion or even a wild dog in a fight without tools but that's a moot point because tools are to humans what razor-sharp canines and brute strength are to lions, tigers, etc. Using tools to hunt is one of the reasons we are superior predators. We're such a force to reckon with in fact that we have become a dominant evolutionary force, hastening the evolution of some harvested organisms to about 300 percent faster than it would occur naturally*. Basically physical prowess is great to have in a fight but intelligence tramps it any day.

I could take a lion. I would just smile prettily at it and it would fall at my feet in adoration. I would then go forward as if to pet it, then quick as lightning, stab it in the jugular with the heel of my stiletto.

*I read it somewhere but I can't be arsed to find it.

Sunnyisland

gobnaitolunacy wrote: »

A Kerry GAA supporter.

They're the roughest type of ****ing animals you could ever deal with.

There a has been by now, Sure Dublin,Cork & Donegals are forever beating them :pac::pac::pac:


Anyway I can beat a goldfish, simples.:)

Donnielighto

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

You think you could take a baboon? They have canines larger than that of a lion, their bite force is about 6,000 lbs per square inch.

As for a wolf....good luck

If you manage to avoid the canines at the start of the fight you'd have a chance. I've taken down an aggressive german sheperd pretty handily, didnt kill it mind but wasnt tryin to

ScumLord

Another thing about predators is they expect others animals to act like prey. When you don't run from them they get confused and don't know quite what to do. You should never run from a dog or even a lion. Even if they had no intention of attacking you if you run they almost can't help but chase.

dr strangelove

Eric Burdon
He might have been cool as flippity in the 60's, but he's in his 70s now, so, yeah, reckon i could take him.

--Kaiser--

Donnielighto wrote: »

If you manage to avoid the canines at the start of the fight you'd have a chance. I've taken down an aggressive german sheperd pretty handily, didnt kill it mind but wasnt tryin to

No comparison. Most primates are incredbily strong (chimps, for example, are nearly 10 times stronger than humans). I'd imagine a baboon could tear your arm off like it was paper

admiralofthefleet

the pope

Gbear

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Firstly, that's a ridiculous point. We are intelligent and we do use tools. May as well ask would a lion be a good predator without teeth or claws.

Secondly, you only need to look at the Olympics to see the extraordinary feats that a human body is capable of

It depends what you mean by tools. A machinegun? Yeah, that'll probably cut it.

A spear? No. Intelligence was our most important attribute but tools were only a minor part of it - teamwork and communication were our strongest abilities. A lone human, even with a large and very sharp axe, would still get totally murdered by anything larger than a dog.


On chimps:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGMbLf2IfjA

They're basically wild gymnasts but with a superhuman level of muscle density. Their muscles are musclier than ours. I suspect your average chimp could overpower all but the most steroid-enhanced professional body-builders, and be a hell of a lot quicker.

geeky

Probably a cow. I wouldn't be certain of victory, however - those yokes can deliver a fair kick - but could Mohammed Ali it. Would take feckin' hours, though, and I've got better things to do with my time.

I see this working as a kind of post-apocalyptic gameshow. Contestants earn a growing prize depending on the animal that they can take on unarmed. A gerbil gets you €.050, a tiger nets a cool million if you win, and everything in between.

Obviously monstrous, but you know people would watch it.

Wibbs

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Modern humans in western societies, soft? Yeah, most of them.

Humans as a species, soft? Not at all, we've spent hundreds of thousands of years being apex predators. Top of the food chain. There are no apex predators that could be referred to as soft

Very true, plus an archaic human like Heidelberensis/Neandertal as an average would be stronger than a fully conditioned cage fighter of today. That's the Neandertal ladies BTW. Up against an adult male Neandertal? You'd be utterly fooked. Bone densities off the scale, even then their forearms bowed into a curve because of the strength of their muscle attachments. Their skulls were truly massive. They could stand toe to toe with Mike Tyson and take digs all day long. Those guys wrestled wild horses and bigger to the ground by sheer strength. It would be a comparable fight if a modern man took on a 10 year old boy. Game over Ted.

Donnielighto wrote: »

If you manage to avoid the canines at the start of the fight you'd have a chance. I've taken down an aggressive german sheperd pretty handily, didnt kill it mind but wasnt tryin to

A wolf would be an entirely different prospect to a Shepherd. Even a juvenile wolf would take out a shepherd very easily. An adult? No bother at all. They've taken down bull mastiffs with little effort. They're significantly stronger, have well over twice the bite strength of a pitbull and are in supreme physical condition. They also fight differently to dogs, use their bodyweight and lunging attacks more. Basically you wouldn't avoid the canines for very long. To quote US president and all around outdoorsy nutbag Teddy Roosevelt on the subject;

A wolf is a terrible fighter. He will decimate a pack of hounds by
rabid snaps with his giant jaws while suffering little damage himself;
nor are the ordinary big dogs, supposed to be fighting dogs, able to
tackle him without special training. I have known one wolf to kill a
bulldog which had rushed at it with a single snap, while another which
had entered the yard of a Montana ranch house slew in quick succession
both of the large mastiffs by which it was assailed. The immense
agility and ferocity of the wild beast, the terrible snap of his long-
toothed jaws, and the admirable training in which he always is, give
him a great advantage over fat, small-toothed, smooth-skinned dogs,
even though they are nominally supposed to belong to the fighting
classes.

So besting a german shepherd is not even close to a comparison.

Any of the big cats? No bloody way. A leopard which isn't that large would destroy a human. And a baboon? Jesus no. Complete massacre.

--Kaiser--

Gbear wrote: »

It depends what you mean by tools. A machinegun? Yeah, that'll probably cut it.

A spear? No. Intelligence was our most important attribute but tools were only a minor part of it - teamwork and communication were our strongest abilities. A lone human, even with a large and very sharp axe, would still get totally murdered by anything larger than a dog.

Perhaps you can explain
Man tackles buck

77 year old man defends against cougar (not that type of cougar)

Man kills lion

Man kills shark

Now, some of these stories could be exaggerated (or apocryphal) but don't underestimate the power of humans

ScumLord

Despite all our disadvantages if a human (or more likely a group of humans, as lone humans are pretty rare) decides it's going to kill something, invariably that things going to die. If the humans don't use guns, then that animals going to die slowly and horribly. Ever see videos of African tribes killing elephants using spears? It's not a pretty sight.

Gbear

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Perhaps you can explain
Man tackles buck

77 year old man defends against cougar (not that type of cougar)

Man kills lion

Man kills shark

Now, some of these stories could be exaggerated (or apocryphal) but don't underestimate the power of humans

I admit there might be a few exceptions and yes, they mightn't be fully accurate stories but even so, there'd be a fairly large difference between predatory animals and the likes of deer so the "larger than a dog" comment would only apply to predators, and I'll concede "larger than a big dog".

The cougar mentioned, according to the article, weighed less than 40kg, the lion actually killed the man (edit: hyenas did) and I don't think you get any points for killing a shark on dry land (even if you did drag it out, although that is an impressive feat all by itself)

--Kaiser--

Gbear wrote: »

I admit there might be a few exceptions and yes, they mightn't be fully accurate stories but even so, there'd be a fairly large difference between predatory animals and the likes of deer so the "larger than a dog" comment would only apply to predators, and I'll concede "larger than a big dog".

The cougar mentioned, according to the article, weighed less than 40kg, the lion actually killed the man (edit: hyenas did) and I don't think you get any points for killing a shark on dry land (even if you did drag it out, although that is an impressive feat all by itself)

Nope, he killed the lion. Then there's this guy who apparantly killed a bear. Really, I'm sure I could find numerous other examples.

Most people wouldn't have a chance. But as I said, people tend to be soft these days

Magill

A large dog (Rottweiler,Alsatian) would probably be too much for an average human to handle without some proper weapons imo.

Magill

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Nope, he killed the lion. Then there's this guy who apparantly killed a bear. Really, I'm sure I could find numerous other examples.

Most people wouldn't have a chance. But as I said, people tend to be soft these days

One offs, how many people are killed every year by bears/lions ? Quite a few are hunters as well.. with guns and experience. The average person with no gun has minimum chance vs a big cat/bear.

MajorMax

I was once savaged by a hampster, so something smaller than a hampster I reckon.

--Kaiser--

Magill wrote: »

One offs, how many people are killed every year by bears/lions ? Quite a few are hunters as well.. with guns and experience. The average person with no gun has minimum chance vs a big cat/bear.

Pay attention, a poster stated that humans are soft. I agreed that modern humans are soft but that for most of our history, being apex predators, we were anything but. I furnished this with examples of modern humans who proved themselves to be the very opposite of soft, killing deadly animals which were several weights above their class

Kolido

ScumLord wrote: »

My point was simply that humans using weapons is as natural as a dog dragging it's arse along the floor.

If your a good walker most people could kill a large herbivore simply by making it run to exhaustion. They'll keep trying to run away from you until they drop down dead.

Ok I do agree that humans would use weapons in most cases. I was just responding to your point about a one on one fight, with no weapons just your body, in this case the lions teeth and claws would be allowed as this is part of the lion. Sure they are like having knives but this is what you have to deal with if you think you could take on a lion bare-fisted. I'm not saying it would be impossible but very highly unlikely for the vast majority of people to win this fight.

ScumLord

Kolido wrote: »

Ok I do agree that humans would use weapons in most cases. I was just responding to your point about a one on one fight, with no weapons just your body, in this case the lions teeth and claws would be allowed as this is part of the lion. Sure they are like having knives but this is what you have to deal with if you think you could take on a lion bare-fisted. I'm not saying it would be impossible but very highly unlikely for the vast majority of people to win this fight.

Even if I don't have a knife I can just pick up a pointy stick or rock, it's impossible to separate humans from tools, it's the same thing as trying to separate lions from their teeth and claws.

Even if you dropped a human in the middle of nowhere naked and told them they have to kill a lion to go home, they'd probably find a way to kill that lion. It wouldn't even have to involve a one on one fight. Corning a human into a one on one fight is kind of unfair we don't operate like that we're sneaky and cunning.

Victor Meldrew

Most predatory animals are risk adverse. Especially birds of prey which are very csreful not to get injured hunting.

Fights for the sake of it are rare and it would take desperation to attack a human healthy adult.

Humans will out run many animal in hot climates as we dont overheat as quickly

--Kaiser--

Victor Meldrew wrote: »

Humans will out run many animal in hot climates as we dont overheat as quickly

Most predatory animals are comfortably faster than us and can run us down without breaking much of a sweat. That's why the advice given if you see a lion/bear/tiger etc. is NEVER to run, firstly because it marks you out as prey and secondly because there is no hope of you running faster than them.

You may be referring to persistance hunting, where we run down prey. It doesn't work the other way around

Victor Meldrew

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Most predatory animals are comfortably faster than us and can run us down without breaking much of a sweat. That's why the advice given if you see a lion/bear/tiger etc. is NEVER to run, firstly because it marks you out as prey and secondly because there is no hope of you running faster than them.

You may be referring to persistence hunting, where we run down prey. It doesn't work the other way around

Yep, that was it. Everyone knows we are slow.

And re looking like prey, this is a really important lesson re standing your ground with Dogs.

Gbear

Victor Meldrew wrote: »

Most predatory animals are risk adverse. Especially birds of prey which are very csreful not to get injured hunting.

Fights for the sake of it are rare and it would take desperation to attack a human healthy adult.

Humans will out run many animal in hot climates as we dont overheat as quickly

Lions 80kph
Bears 50kph
Wolves 60kph
Elephants 40kph
Usain Bolt 45kph

Even if you're the fastest human on record, most large predatory animals could catch you at a canter, not to mention that they accelerate much faster because they've got 4 legs.

Wibbs

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Most predatory animals are comfortably faster than us and can run us down without breaking much of a sweat. That's why the advice given if you see a lion/bear/tiger etc. is NEVER to run, firstly because it marks you out as prey and secondly because there is no hope of you running faster than them.

+1000. All of the above will comfortably run you down at both short and long distances. Usain Bolt at full chat would be caught by any of those and a few others(hyenas, wolves) before he hit 50 metres. You might escape if you were chased by a crocodile, so long as you zig zag. They're way faster than us in a burst sprint but can't change direction so easy. Another method that might help you is you ran steeply downhill. I've seen a guy catch rabbits that way. Two legs are better at downhill speed generally speaking.

You may be referring to persistance hunting, where we run down prey. It doesn't work the other way around

Wolves use that tactic too, so game over there if you were on the receiving end. They can hit 55-60 kph in bursts and can cover 100-150 kms a day at a lazy trot. African hunting dogs and Dingos the same. If you got away initially from a bear you'd probably be OK as they're interest would wane. Male lion likely the same, but yer fooked if a lioness decided you looked tasty cos they can do the long haul.

Wibbs

Victor Meldrew wrote: »

And re looking like prey, this is a really important lesson re standing your ground with Dogs.

That's if it's a lone dog and you really give off the vibe of "I'm gonna fook you up". If a pack of dogs, especially wild dogs, wolves, dingos etc surround you you're likely boned. Moose and elk and buffalo often stand their ground and they're way more powerful and dangerous that us, but still get eaten.

Donnielighto

Magill wrote: »

A large dog (Rottweiler,Alsatian) would probably be too much for an average human to handle without some proper weapons imo.

If you straight up fight them probably. One advantage that humans have is the ability to think tactically, incapacitating the animal gives you an advantage so that aspect would be a benefit to humans.

Donnielighto

Victor Meldrew wrote: »

Humans will out run many animal in hot climates as we dont overheat as quickly

That is long distance. Humans wouldnt outrun most animals because they'd have us caught before our stamina comes into the equation.

Capt'n Midnight

Duckworth_Luas wrote: »

I'd take a dinosaur! Any dinosaurs out there want to rumble? Didn't think so, cowards!

Technically speaking a Cassowary is a dinosaur and have razor sharp talons like it's distant cousins the raptors.

Capt'n Midnight

Duff wrote: »

I'd say I could bate the shíte out of a rabbit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmu5sRIizdw

Augmerson

I killed a Dog with a shovel once but we'd already run over it so I am not sure it was a fair fight.


Wasn't fighting it, just putting it out of it's misery.

.E_C_K_S.

Augmerson wrote: »

I killed a Dog with a shovel once but we'd already run over it so I am not sure it was a fair fight.


Wasn't fighting it, just putting it out of it's misery.

Thats lovely to hear.

Augmerson

WALSHY16291 wrote: »

Thats lovely to hear.

Not something I'm terribly proud of tbh.

Capt'n Midnight

sheesh wrote: »

I believe I would come in somewhere between a 3 toed sloth and a giant ant eater

I'd have to fall on it obviously

how about a giant sloth ?

shrewd

WumBuster wrote: »

A tiger. Just pull his tail

not a good idea. trust me

sheesh

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

how about a giant sloth ?

I have see skeletons of them in the british natural history museum I'm thinking that if i could fall on a fat one that was lying down i could probably survive the drop from the necessary height. but that could not be considered a fight.

I'd have to say no.

ScumLord

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Technically speaking a Cassowary is a dinosaur and have razor sharp talons like it's distant cousins the raptors.

Their legs really give the game away too, they look almost unchanged since the dinosaur days. Extremely dangerous by all accounts they'll tear you to bits.

enfant terrible

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Technically speaking a Cassowary is a dinosaur and have razor sharp talons like it's distant cousins the raptors.

Do the Cassowary have Large Talons?

ScumLord

enfant terrible wrote: »

Do the Cassowary have Large Talons?

Yes, they also have a large horn type thing on their head. 2nd largest bird in the world after the ostrich.