Hilarious misconceptions you or your friends had

gobnaitolunacy

I knew someone who thought the Four Of Us lyrics to Mary was 'Oh Mary, why don't you have some sex....'

Eathrin

murpho999 wrote: »

DesperateDan wrote: »

Until NOW:

Isn't that not a "second cousin"?

No, a second cousin is your parent's cousin's child.
Once removed us where there is a generational gap as in the above example.
Twice removed is where there is a gap of two generations etc..

Back on topic, I used to think those colours I saw when I blinked were my "powers".

seamus

Probably seven or eight years of age, discussing our limited knowledge of sex, as children tend to do, a mate proclaimed that you make a baby by flicking a little switch inside the women, like turning on a kettle. "So you could do it with your fingers?", "Yep", he proudly replied.
"So why would you use your willy and not your fingers?"
He didn't have an answer for that.

When local chinese takeaways first started popping up everywhere in the early 90's, we got it on a fairly regular basis, probably once a week. Fried rice was always my favourite part (still is tbh), and I remember telling them just to order me a fried rice, I didn't want anything else. "You can't just get a fried rice!" I was told. Tried it on two or three more occasions, only to be told the same thing, and from then on till I was about 17 assumed that the chinese wouldn't let you order a fried rice on its own...

I was also an older teenager before I realised the phrase wasn't "faired use". It never made sense to me growing up.

crazy cabbage

I used to think that prostitutes and protestants were the same thing.

Thought that catholics had to sit on one side of the church and that 'prostitutes' sit on the other because we used to always sit on the right hand side of the church.

smallerthanyou

I learnt on boards about a month ago that the city of Washington isn't in the state of Washington. Blew my mind, and they say boards can't teach you anything.

Big Nasty

Less than a year ago I learned right here on boards, on a similar thread now I think of it, that the Sugar Loaf Mountain is NOT a volcanic mountain.

I am 37.

rubysgirl

In an arguement with friends about the existance of Santa;

Friend: He's not real. Nobody can travel the entire world in one night. On a flying reindeer.

Me: That's why there are different time zones!! Santa has an hour to do each zone. That's why the poor people in Africa get less than us too, because he starts to run out of toys. And reindeers don't fly - They run on those lines you see on the map. Duh!

Khannie

Had the god awful job of doing "The Talk" once. He thought condoms were used when you wanted a baby. :eek: Good job I corrected *that* one.

Always thought it was "damp squid" and could never figure out why the hell "damp squid" had any meaning at all until there was a very funny IT crowd episode that taught me otherwise.

(it's "damp squib" by the way and a squib is a type of firework, so a damp one is one that doesn't deliver)

Whatsernamex33

I used to think babies were made and came out of bellybuttons. Spent ages trying to figure out how you'd get them out.
I'm not sure how that came about... xD

gobnaitolunacy

An oul batchelor farmer near us was under the impression that condoms were things that you'd eat.

Bad Panda

I used to think women peed from their bums as they had 'nothing there'.

Ush1

Bad Panda wrote: »

I used to think women peed from their bums as they had 'nothing there'.

Same here, and babies came out there stomach like the Alien, which does happen in some cases.

whitewave

I believed for a while that boys have a penis and girls have a China

The_Minister

I used to think that cartoons were actors dressed up.

Even Tom and Jerry

quad_red

I can remember seeing the news on tv as a kid and thinking that the guys in the grainy footage wearing masks and shooting guns really didn't look like gorillas from where I was sitting.

Gracelessly Tom

Friend of mine worked with a young girl who came out with a beaut a few years ago....

The Paralympics opening ceremony a few years ago was on TV in their office and as a lot of wheelchair bound athletes came onto the screen she was heard to say "look at all those cvnts, isn't it great to see them competing?". Cue howls of disgust from everyone else. When people told her you can't say things like that she said "Of course you can, sure they are cvnts, wants wrong with calling them that?"

Turns out when she was a kid and asked her mother what a cvnt was her mum got embarrassed and told her it was a person in a wheelchair. For years she never questioned this explanation!

taxus_baccata

I used to think that the people on the TV could see me. I remember one evening after school watching the Den and my mum wanted me to change out of my school uniform, I completely lost it because I didn't want Zig, Zag and Ian Dempsey to see me change!

My aunt lives in London and I thought that was a specific Aer Lingus Plane that just flew around all the time. In Shannon you used to be able to see the passengers walk onto the plane and we used to wave her off. I used to wave at every aer lingus plane I saw, also thinking that my aunt could see me!

taxus_baccata

Gracelessly Tom wrote: »

Friend of mine worked with a young girl who came out with a beaut a few years ago....

The Paralympics opening ceremony a few years ago was on TV in their office and as a lot of wheelchair bound athletes came onto the screen she was heard to say "look at all those cvnts, isn't it great to see them competing?". Cue howls of disgust from everyone else. When people told her you can't say things like that she said "Of course you can, sure they are cvnts, wants wrong with calling them that?"

Turns out when she was a kid and asked her mother what a cvnt was her mum got embarrassed and told her it was a person in a wheelchair. For years she never questioned this explanation!

I nearly peed myself laughing at that one!

Muckit

'The plantations of Laois and Offaly' in National School history classes.... I taught they were out sowing trees!!

gobnaitolunacy

I used pronounce Grand Prix as Grand Pricks.

willfromcork

I thought that gay people were from Germany!

Bad Panda

quad_red wrote: »

I can remember seeing the news on tv as a kid and thinking that the guys in the grainy footage wearing masks and shooting guns really didn't look like gorillas from where I was sitting.

Following on from this, I used to think guerilla warfare was so called because of tactics gorillas used in the jungle.

Tazium

Khannie wrote: »

Had the god awful job of doing "The Talk" once. He thought condoms were used when you wanted a baby. :eek: Good job I corrected *that* one.

Always thought it was "damp squid" and could never figure out why the hell "damp squid" had any meaning at all until there was a very funny IT crowd episode that taught me otherwise.

(it's "damp squib" by the way and a squib is a type of firework, so a damp one is one that doesn't deliver)

Could have used that in your 'talk'!

Big Nasty

willfromcork wrote: »

I thought that gay people were from Germany!

Greece

Rubberlegs

Until I was well into my twenties I thought that test tube babies grew in the test tube for 9 months:o
I was very excited to see the Prison forum on Boards. Thought it was for people in Mountjoy or wherever. Oh the disappointment:(

Scanlas The 2nd

I used to think gay men had sex by the man with smaller penis inserting it into the meatus of the other man's penis.

Newaglish

I used to think equipment was spelled with a silent T in the middle.

Equiptment.

Real Life

Newaglish wrote: »

I used to think equipment was spelled with a silent T in the middle.

Equiptment.

i also made this mistake, i made flyers for someone once, had 1000 of them printed with that spelling mistake.

MarthaMyDear

Until I read this thread I thought it was midgets not midges?! v

jamo2oo9

I used to think that mothers gave birth to girls and fathers gave birth to boys.. I saw a picture of my dad in hospital and I was convinced about it...

I used to think that a penis was called willy and a vagina was called a peanuts.
Also thought that deleting history on the computer would save me from trouble..

My uncle lives in the States and every time I saw a plane, I thought my uncle was on that plane. Then in 9/11 attacks, I wept myself because I thought my uncle died on those planes that were hijacked

Big Nasty

MarthaMyDear wrote: »

Until I read this thread I thought it was midgets not midges?! v

So people that say Midgees (pl) are right!?! :eek::eek::eek:

Wibbs

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I used to think gay men had sex by the man with smaller penis inserting it into the meatus of the other man's penis.

:eek: Jesus!

MarthaMyDear wrote: »

Until I read this thread I thought it was midgets not midges?! v

Lots of people make that mistake to be fair. I always liked the image of loads of winged people of diminished stature flying about the place biting people. Like malevolent fairies

Wibbs

MCMLXXV wrote: »

So people that say Midgees (pl) are right!?! :eek::eek::eek:

Midge = singular Midges = plural, no "ee" sound.

Ush1

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I used to think gay men had sex by the man with smaller penis inserting it into the meatus of the other man's penis.

That happens, it's called docking.........er, apparently.

Diapason

73Cat wrote: »

Thought it was for people in Mountjoy or wherever.

It isn't? Really must look around properly rather than staying in AH.

After having "the talk" with my Dad at a young age it was never really made clear exactly how the man's "seed" made its way into the woman. I assumed it was something that happened in the middle of the night when you were asleep. Serious oversight on the part of my father!

Oh, and I used to think it was "should of" instead of "should have". Imagine, eh?

rgmmg

We were in school discussing marketing or something and I was asked what a flyer was. I thought they were planes that had an advertising message attached to them instead of the mail drop variety :pac:

FairytaleGirl

An old friend of mine thought Downs Syndrome was a nationality untill she was about 16.

She thought they all came from the country Downs in Drome. lol

Delightfully Pessimistic

gobnaitolunacy wrote: »

I used pronounce Grand Prix as Grand Pricks.

So I'm not the only person who did this

hardCopy

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Less than a year ago I learned right here on boards, on a similar thread now I think of it, that the Sugar Loaf Mountain is NOT a volcanic mountain.

I am 37.

My mind is blown

TheKeenMachine

meoklmrk91 wrote: »

My mother loves the beegees so they were always on when we were kids. I was thought the words to the song stayin alive were "ha ha ha stabilise, stabilise.

I thought Queen's "Another One Bites The Dust" was "Another One Fights The Ducks"

Whatsisname

Know a girl whose 19 now, I had to explain to her last year how Madrid wasn't actually in England...

some random drunk

Took a friend of mine to watch Ireland play a football match. She enjoyed the experience but later questioned me why there was no commentary. Turned out she'd only ever watched football on tv and genuinely thought that the commentary was provided by a guy at the stadium using the PA system. She's 30 btw.

Same girl was also disappointed that Dublin Zoo had no woolly mammoths and didn't realise they were extinct.

confuseddotcom

Had always thought in my teens and around then that car insurance was a once-in-a-lifetime payment that you'd never have to pay again after the first time ya paid it!! :o I think at the time it seemed doomed that a person would never get insurance for less than 1,500 or so, so it kinda made sense to me in a way that you wouldn't have had to pay out that much money on a regular basis.

However I learned that that was not the case! Far from it! Insurance has to be paid every year but fortunately great deals and reduced prices can be got which can only be a good thing. Wouldn't it be great though if it was only a once-in-a-lifetime payment!!!

Knex*

On the bus for a college pissup to Carlow last year we managed to convince one of the girls, not actually in my course thank God, that Carlow was in a different time zone. Yup, I shit you not.

She also asked me such questions as: Is Carlow near Kerry?

And as I started to realize her absolute ignorance in all things geographically related, and possibly more, I probed on a bit until questions such as, "So Dublin is in Carlow?", "Are Cork and Kerry in Leinster?" and "Is Munster in Leinster?" occurred.

I don't think anyone could believe some of the stuff she came out with after a while. We left her feeling rather embarrassed

wonton

I used to think the collection in mass went to poor people in africa for some reason.

BillyMitchel

Whatsisname wrote: »

Know a girl whose 19 now, I had to explain to her last year how Madrid wasn't actually in England...

I know a girl in her 20s who thought Asia was in and beside Italy!

NegativeCreep

I'm only after finding out now that it's "buck naked" and not "butt naked." How embarrassing

1ZRed

NegativeCreep wrote: »

I'm only after finding out now that it's "buck naked" and not "butt naked." How embarrassing

Until I read your post I still thought that!

Smh, the shame

some random drunk

NegativeCreep wrote: »

I'm only after finding out now that it's "buck naked" and not "butt naked." How embarrassing

I'm pretty sure both are perfectly acceptable terms. Wasn't there a General Butt Naked, who was similar to that Kony guy?

HalloweenJack

I used to think that black people were really just white people who had billions of freckles that joined together. I was convinced that if I stayed in the sun long enough, this would happen to me.

A few bad cases of sunburn taught me otherwise.