Hilarious misconceptions you or your friends had

brophya2007

My first girlfriend thought a 69 was a small ice-cream cone

sparksfly

I thought the line "in spite of my rage" from the smashing pumpkins was "spies on my radar"

CucaFace

I used to think that the IRA were the Irish version of the FBI.

I remember thinking as a young child I really shouldn't do anything bad in this country or the IRA would get me.

1ZRed

brophya2007 wrote: »

My first girlfriend thought a 69 was a small ice-cream cone

Either way she got a lick :pac:

.E_C_K_S.

You know during mass where you shake hands and say "Peace be with you"?

Instead my friend used to say "Pleased to meet you" for a good 10 years.

Laughed 2 days solid after he told me.

Nippledragon

I used to think the "guerrillas" the news was always on about (back in the 80's) were actually gorillas that were fighting with men for bananas in the jungle. I always wondered why the news never showed footage of them.:D

I was only told last year, that several does not mean that there was '7 of something' I never really thought about what 4 or 5 of something would be called....duh' me...

Cienciano

Sacramento wrote: »

When we were young, one of my friends thought that you had to put the balls in as well during sex.

Thats a bit like my mate, he used to think a condom had to go over your balls too.

Daniel S

itsgrandlike wrote: »

Im not sure if this was said as unfortunetly dont have time to read all the posts but when I was younger and i asked my mum where she was going, she would always tell me she was going to see a man about a dog.. I always thought a load of women stood around a circle with one man and a dog in the middle.. WTF!!

That's how I got my dog!

I had heard of this movie (just the name): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_About_Dog

"We're going to see a man about a dog, we'll be back in a while."

Now as far as I was concerned, they were off to the cinema (eventhough after checking the movie, it came out in 2004 and this was January 2008 :rolleyes:)

I've had been asking for a dog for years leading up to that, never actually believing it would come.

"Ah you'll get one some day... we ordered one when you were very young sure! It's still on order."

Believed that until I was about ten.

Another one for people who know Lahinch, you know the small white cottage in the middle of a field on the way to Lahinch from Ennistymon on the right side of the road (opposite all the B&B's on the left)? We believed he grew up there.


While he also grew up in Swords, Dublin...

Amazing how you can't put two and two together when you're young!

JoeyJJ

Me and my mate told his younger sister that at age 7 that boys turned into girls and girls turned into boys, she was freaked out. She believe it for quite a while, we even convinced her we used to be girls before we turned 7.

Eathrin

I believed adults were born the size they are before I had a concept of growing.

1ZRed

I used to think home and away was set on the Aran islands






I know...

TheMilkyPirate

I thought the kaiser chiefs song was "I put it to rest I put it to rest!!"

When i was younger watching the news I also thought that the labour party and green party etc were these big parties they threw up in dublin

Quin_Dub

I worked in Munich for a while after college. I spoke some German but not a huge amount, however my housemate had very little German at all.

Imagine you are in conversation with someone and you are just nodding along with them - In English you might say "Really?" or "Go on" or "I know" etc. to keep the chat flowing..

In German (Munich style) you'd say "Echt" in the same context..

However my House-mate somehow came to the conclusion that the word to use in this scenario was "Staubsauger" - Which is German for Vacuum Cleaner!!

We never told him, so he spent the better part of a year earnestly saying "Yes, Vacuum Cleaner!" randomly in conversation with the locals and not understanding why everyone was giving him extremely odd looks!!!

He was finally told by someone to his eternal embarassment

asherbassad

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Ooh look at you with your aged wine for your guests
The first time I had wine was in a Chinese for my 18th birthday & it was an old flame that brought me.
We thought we were so grown up, eating out & drinking wine that wanted to make us wretch!

The wine wanted to make you wretch, or the wine made you want to retch?

some random drunk

When I was a young fella of 7 or so our dog got pregnant. I remember shortly before the puppies were born asking my mam would the puppies come out of the mother's mouth?

In my head I imagined the mother dog lying down with her tongue hanging out which would provide a ramp for the puppies to march down and out of her. I thought the puppies would be mouse-sized versions of the adult dog, fully able to walk, bark etc.

My mam laughed at my question but was embarrassed to give me a proper answer, only saying "Eh...they come out somewhere else". This lead me to believe for the next few years that the puppies came out the dog's ass.

quickbeam

For some reason I thought that a sliced pan of bread only had one heel included. I could never understand why I always managed to open a new loaf at the end with the heel - thought I just terrible bad luck!

leggo

some random drunk wrote: »

When I was a young fella of 7 or so our dog got pregnant. I remember shortly before the puppies were born asking my mam would the puppies come out of the mother's mouth?

In my head I imagined the mother dog lying down with her tongue hanging out which would provide a ramp for the puppies to march down and out of her. I thought the puppies would be mouse-sized versions of the adult dog, fully able to walk, bark etc.

My mam laughed at my question but was embarrassed to give me a proper answer, only saying "Eh...they come out somewhere else". This lead me to believe for the next few years that the puppies came out the dog's ass.

Haha, that reminds me: I remember I watched 'Look Who's Talking', I think, and there was a Cesarean birth in it. I asked my mam if that's how all babies came out and she said yes, delighted to have an easy way to dodge the bullet.

So I go into school the next day and ask the teacher, who was an absolute dick, how animals had babies with no doctor to cut them open? "Get out of my class, you stupid boy!" he said! There was murder over that, when the parents came up to complain to the principal. Dunno if it was anything to do with that (though it probably had something to do with how he spoke to 9-year olds in general), but he spent the rest of his career looking after the traveller class in the school.

1ZRed

some random drunk wrote: »

This lead me to believe for the next few years that the puppies came out the dog's ass.

Thought the same exactly. In fact when I was younger our cat was a right whore and was always knocked up, so when the kittens were born and old enough to be given away to people I remember having to look for the cats with "two asses" to know it was a female.

This thread is bringing me nothing but shame!

Lisha

ViveLaVie wrote: »

Er... Wut?! Where do they come from so!?

horses and ponies are two different species....who knew:D

Am feeling a bit bad after reading about parents giving kids slightly inaccurate information about how babies get out............My 4.75 yr old boy asked me the other night how he as a baby got out of me, as he was a c-section baby, I said doctor cut and took you out. Not a lie I was very impressed with myself.....But now I have visions of him writing a a similar type thread in yrs to come:o btw he looked shocked and said I just thought you coughed me out

LucyLouLou

When I was about 4 I used to think that the when rays of sunshine came through the clouds it was really holy mary looking down on you.

Laalaaa

My nephew used to run around belting out the Bob Dylan classic,

Knock Knock Knockin' on Kevin's door

Cienciano

Any parents reading this should learn something. Tell your child the truth of how stuff happens.
I remember a guy in 1st year in school that thought a woman pissed out her vag.

rebel89

I used to think tiger kidnappings involved tigers being kidnapped from Dublin Zoo........

some random drunk

Cienciano wrote: »

I remember a guy in 1st year in school that thought a woman pissed out her vag.

Thought this myself as a teenager. As a child I thought they pissed out their bums.

Before I had sex for the first time, I was worried about accidentally putting my c*ck in the girl's urethra, and how would I know I had it in the right hole?

Lisha

Cienciano wrote: »

Any parents reading this should learn something. Tell your child the truth of how stuff happens.
.

I will do better in future I promise

amtw

Cienciano wrote: »

Any parents reading this should learn something. Tell your child the truth of how stuff happens

You can't always blame the parents. When I was about 12 my mother went great lengths to make sure I understood everything I would need to know about periods. It wasn't her fault that I thought that during the monthly cycle women laid an actual egg. This seemed logical to me, so when she asked if I understood everything she had told me I said I did. I was however really worried about the size of this egg because I knew what a chicken egg looked like, so what size would a human egg be!

Stompbox

My mother tells me that my Grandmother thought that Thin Lizzy was actually Phil Lynott's name. Cue her asking everyone she met 'Oh, did you hear that Thin Lizzy died?' following his death.

Lorrs33

I used to think that when a man and woman got married the woman was automatically pregnant.

I also thought Australia was next to Ireland.

For a short while I believed that everyone was being watched 24/7 and it was broadcast on telly. And if someone died, just of natural causes, it was always reported on the news.

Nippledragon

I thought a giant stork was responsible for delivering children, I always imagined him flying across a clear sky, gasúr in a blanket, during the summer; A lot of kids in our primary school had birthday's around then.........:D At least ya eventually realised what really happend after hearing the auld wans goin at it like a pair of dogs during the winter!:eek:

ViveLaVie

leggo wrote: »

Until I'd kissed a few girls, I thought a French kiss involved you sticking your tongue in her mouth, swirling it around a bit, then taking it out and letting her do the same. So I'd get into a little tongue war and batter their tongue down, then take mine out so we'd just awkwardly be kissing, open mouth, for a while. If any of my earliest kisses are reading, I do apologise for what must have been quite an unpleasant experience...

Believe me there are still men out there that think this is how you do it :-(

Omackeral

Lorrs33 wrote: »

I used to think that when a man and woman got married the woman was automatically pregnant.

I also thought Australia was next to Ireland.

For a short while I believed that everyone was being watched 24/7 and it was broadcast on telly. And if someone died, just of natural causes, it was always reported on the news.

Not as silly as you might think:eek:.....

im invisible

I remember when my brother was born asking my mother how he got out, and when she said through a hole in her belly i said 'show me, i want to see it'...
If i had known the truth i probably wouldnt have asked,, probably.

Also, i thought that Scooter's name was Scooter, makes sense like

OneOfThem Stumbled

im invisible wrote: »

I remember when my brother was born asking my mother how he got out, and when she said through a hole in her belly i said 'show me, i want to see it'...
If i had known the truth i probably wouldnt have asked,, probably.

...

MadameGascar

A mother dog is a bitch, & puppies were bastards, 'cause a lot of the time you wouldn't know who the father was, and a male dogs were therefore bolloxs.

quickbeam

Stompbox wrote: »

My mother tells me that my Grandmother thought that Thin Lizzy was actually Phil Lynott's name. Cue her asking everyone she met 'Oh, did you hear that Thin Lizzy died?' following his death.

Reminds me - my parents thought that Oxegen was a name of a band that played every year in Punchestown. They thought it was amazing that the same band was so popular that they got to play every year.

fasttalkerchat

I think most kids up North imagined dublin to be "more Irish" that republican areas up North with tricolours everywhere and the 'RA on the streets.

fasttalkerchat

IloveConverse wrote: »

'Making end's meat.'

Making just enough dosh to buy cheap meat, that nobody else wants, (end of the day meat in other words), because you can't afford the standard stuff.

It was only a year ago that I realised that it's more like the ends of a rope.

#foolish

I thought it was the fatty end of the piece that usually gets thrown away.

fasttalkerchat

Ush1 wrote: »

Same here, and babies came out there stomach like the Alien, which does happen in some cases.

I thought this was a C-section.

Paddy Cow

I used to think that adults knew everything and when I became one I'd be really wise and responsible

Squ

My cousin thought that two men having sex automatically got aids..

xzanti

Any time I heard the phrase.. "I'll go through this with a fine-tooth comb"..

I always wondered why anyone would need a comb for their teeth.

Badly Drunk Boy

When I was about 4, I thought England was in Dublin. (Durty ratten West Brits!)

Lawliet

When I was in infants I use to tell my mum all these stories about my teacher's father, about how he'd be in our class every week, "My teacher's father said this," "My teacher's father said that" etc.
When it got to parents evening my mum told my teacher what a great man her father was for coming in to see her and children so often. My teacher was really confused, her elderly father had never set foot in the school, our local priest on the other hand...

fasttalkerchat

Lawliet wrote: »

When I was in infants I use to tell my mum all these stories about my teacher's father, about how he'd be in our class every week, "My teacher's father said this," "My teacher's father said that" etc.
When it got to parents evening my mum told my teacher what a great man her father was for coming in to see her and children so often. My teacher was really confused, her elderly father had never set foot in the school, our local priest on the other hand...

Hahahha

clarbar

my friend used to think that deaf people only came out at night,due to the people on the screen at night, that blind people couldn't cry and that they had no tear ducts or eyes!! and tried to convince me one day that winston churchill was actually hiltler and that everyone else was totally wrong.

Another creepy thing few the girls were amazed that tampons didn't swell up when you pee'd because they thought that we pee'd out through the womb..... note were in our early twenties, one of the girls used to change her tampon everytime she went toilet because she was so convinced that this would happen

fasttalkerchat

clarbar wrote: »

my friend used to think that deaf people only came out at night,due to the people on the screen at night, that blind people couldn't cry and that they had no tear ducts or eyes!! and tried to convince me one day that winston churchill was actually hiltler and that everyone else was totally wrong.

Another creepy thing few the girls were amazed that tampons didn't swell up when you pee'd because they thought that we pee'd out through the womb..... note were in our early twenties, one of the girls used to change her tampon everytime she went toilet because she was so convinced that this would happen

You mean that some girls don't change it after using the toilet?

Guy:Incognito

Sacramento wrote: »

When we were young, one of my friends thought that you had to put the balls in as well during sex. We never did correct him and wondered if his first time was as hilarious as we all thought it would have been.

Are you passing off the inbetweeners as your own?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtWJAPXiP_Y

MerryLegs

wonton wrote: »

I used to think the collection in mass went to poor people in africa for some reason.

Its not?? :O

When gameboys first came out there was a competition where you could win them in packets of crisps. Think it was Walkers or Golden Wonder. Not having ever seen one or any idea of their size at the time, I spent alot of time in shops squeezing the packets to try and find the winners. I must have annoyed MANY a shopkeeper!

shooter57

I Just spotted this thread now . Funny the things we used to think . here's two of mine .

I used to think when it was your birthday , when you were in bed asleep God would lift you up and stretch you so that you got taller !


The other thing i used to think was that people used to go up in a helicoptor to God to find out the weather forecast !