Hilarious misconceptions you or your friends had

fasttalkerchat

syndeyfife wrote: »

No? Sanitary towels are sticky on one side. Tampons are never sticky.

Now for the love of god Google it and stop talking about it!!

He asked about tampax, not tampons. Tampax is a brand that can be either a towel or a... cotton wool dildo... thingy.

fasttalkerchat

Cathyht wrote: »

...and the third little pig built his house with some mints.

So I thought when I was 4.

As opposed to bricks? How do those 2 words even sound alike?

newmug

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

As opposed to bricks? How do those 2 words even sound alike?

Cement - some mints

DylanII

I used to pick my bellybutton when I was about 5 - I abruptly stopped when It started bleeding and I thought it was opening up. I thought this because I remember a baby with one of those things stuck to their bellybuttons. I was told that it was keeping it tied.

Between the ages of about 6 and 13 I hovered over the toilet after my Grandmother told me about tarantulas when she returned from holiday. I thought they came up though the toilet and killed you.

I thought condoms were chewing gum. I remember I found some in my parents drawer. My mum was out in the garden and I went out and asked could I have some of the chewing gum from the drawer, she said there wasn't any there. I insisted there was, she said okay. I came back out a few moments later and said something along the lines of "This chewing gum tastes weird, but its great for blowing bubbles" When I blew my bubble she nearly died and her friends were in shock. :eek:

I thought that where my shadow was depended on what side of the bed I got out of. I stayed in my grandmothers for that summer and the bed was against the wall. So I would stand on the bed and get as close to the wall as possible to try and get my shadow on the other side.

Lyaiera

calnand wrote: »

I used to believe we were all descended from two people, but then I heard about this Darwin fellow.

YOU MEAN WE'RE DESCENDED FROM ONE PERSON!!! :eek:

DonalN

Once convinced a yank that the Irish had got rid of Wednesdays as we wanted to shorten the gap between weekends.

kaz231

I'm also one of those that thought my life was a TV show..Truman Show style.

A gem from my 3-and-a-half year old niece who became a big sister a few months ago and must think loving - anyone - calls for marraige: "I love my new little brother so much I'm going to marry him!". That'll be a great one to taunt her with in a few years.

Cathyht

I used to shudder under the covers listening to 'tarantula' rain at night hitting off the window

Paddy Cow

Voice of the Ages wrote: »

When I was a little kid, I was told that thunder was the sound of God dropping something.

So much for an omnipotent and perfect being, dropping stuff everywhere.

Thunder is the sound of aeroplanes going through clouds. I thought everyone knew that!

daithieoghan

Cathyht wrote: »

I used to shudder under the covers listening to 'tarantula' rain at night hitting off the window

Ah bless, that's probably the cutest thing I have ever heard.

Squ

My niece is learning the alphbet..

Walks around the house;
................H, I, J, K, meno meno, P..............

sunflower27

Thespian and pianist. Hearing those words as a kid confused me for a long time as I was too shy to ask what they actually meant.

Had totally forgot about that.... ha!

davet82

i thought the tampax ads were for towels that you stuck to your armpits for sweat

suicide_circus

kincsem wrote: »

Woman in work said "It's a vicious circus"

She ain't wrong

Cathyht

I love the visualisations these clangers give me:

Salad complexion
Leaving a door 'on a jar'
Dead person having a TopsyPop (when I was young I thought the person was having an icepop post humously when a woman said it)
Fell in the shower and broke his 'pelmet'

dricko_lim

in class in 1st year the teacher was on about people wetting themselves in bed (unsure why TBH ) Anyhow I goes sure miss there's a name for that....'Wet dreams'

Ensue the whole class starting to laugh at me. Even the teacher laughed at me

shopaholic01

Confab wrote: »

No you didn't, the other poster got confused. The Tampax brand do have sticky bits. Tampons, on the other have, don't have sticky bits because they're inserted.

Tampax is a brand of tampons - inserted internally and no sticky bits.

Sanitary towels have sticky bits!

http://www.tampax.ie/en-IE/home/home

Hardonraging

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Tampax is a brand of tampons - inserted internally and no sticky bits.

Sanitary towels have sticky bits!

http://www.tampax.ie/en-IE/home/home

But how do they stay in there!! that's the real question

shopaholic01

Hardonraging wrote: »

But how do they stay in there!! that's the real question

Only suitable for those women who haven't been with you:D.

davet82

u_c_thesecond wrote: »

And (this is mortifying) i only learned in the last 2 years that woman pee and poo out of 2 diff holes. i thought the vagina was for sex and giving birth- and the ass was for weeing and crapping. I didnt know women actually have 3 holes down there- and im a ****ing woman... oh the shame!!!:(:(:(

this is more common that you think, two female friends (in their late 20's) discovered only a few weeks ago they also had a urethra, they thought it came out of their vagina, i won 20 euro each off them during a drinking session when i had to get the internet out to prove it!

theavenger

In primary school, one of the older lads said you would get cancer if you sat on the school toilets....bad times...

Northclare

Myself and a few friends of mine got together last night and hit Fanore for a few hours of bodyboarding,the swell was effing massive.

I'm a beginner,they're at it a long time and fairly strong swimmers.

They were out on the big waves at the back,I was having fun on the 2nd last wave,so I got brave.

I paddled out and these waves were huge,I was dwarfed by them and had no way out so I seen this huge moverfkr coming at me off I went,my timing was way off.

My only way of describing it was,like being in a giant washing machine on full spin, half filled with sand and the other half filled with salty water,with someone waving a torch outside the window of the washing machine.

I never saw the sun from under the water doing so much hopping jumping and twirling.
My whole body ached after it I paddled ashore and sat there and watched the lads for the last half hour....

Will I do it again ?

fck yeah cant wait...

One of the lads said to me after a bit of pain never hurt anyone :S

shopaholic01

davet82 wrote: »

this is more common that you think, two female friends (in their late 20's) discovered only a few weeks ago they also had a urethra, they thought it came out of their vagina, i won 20 euro each off them during a drinking session when i had to get the internet out to prove it!

:eek: How do women think this??????

Hardonraging

davet82 wrote: »

this is more common that you think, two female friends (in their late 20's) discovered only a few weeks ago they also had a urethra, they thought it came out of their vagina, i won 20 euro each off them during a drinking session when i had to get the internet out to prove it!

You showed them on the internet ... as opposed to ... telling them to get butt naked ....

Hand in your man card brah !!

shopaholic01

Northclare wrote: »

Myself and a few friends of mine got together last night and hit Fanore for a few hours of bodyboarding,the swell was effing massive.

I'm a beginner,they're at it a long time and fairly strong swimmers.

They were out on the big waves at the back,I was having fun on the 2nd last wave,so I got brave.

I paddled out and these waves were huge,I was dwarfed by them and had no way out so I seen this huge moverfkr coming at me off I went,my timing was way off.

My only way of describing it was,like being in a giant washing machine on full spin, half filled with sand and the other half filled with salty water,with someone waving a torch outside the window of the washing machine.

I never saw the sun from under the water doing so much hopping jumping and twirling.
My whole body ached after it I paddled ashore and sat there and watched the lads for the last half hour....

Will I do it again ?

fck yeah cant wait...

One of the lads said to me after a bit of pain never hurt anyone :S

I think you're in the wrong thread!

davet82

shopaholic01 wrote: »

:eek: How do women think this??????

i dont know, i was shocked, they honestly thought i was taking the piss (i know ha) even after i showed them on the net they thought i was still fooling them. I didnt get the money for the bet for a few days because i guess they had to investigate it themselves and i had to promise not telly anyone... they didnt say anything about not telling the internet though :pac:

Northclare

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Northclare wrote: »

Myself and a few friends of mine got together last night and hit Fanore for a few hours of bodyboarding,the swell was effing massive.

I'm a beginner,they're at it a long time and fairly strong swimmers.

They were out on the big waves at the back,I was having fun on the 2nd last wave,so I got brave.

I paddled out and these waves were huge,I was dwarfed by them and had no way out so I seen this huge moverfkr coming at me off I went,my timing was way off.

My only way of describing it was,like being in a giant washing machine on full spin, half filled with sand and the other half filled with salty water,with someone waving a torch outside the window of the washing machine.

I never saw the sun from under the water doing so much hopping jumping and twirling.
My whole body ached after it I paddled ashore and sat there and watched the lads for the last half hour....

Will I do it again ?

fck yeah cant wait...

One of the lads said to me after a bit of pain never hurt anyone :S

I think you're in the wrong thread!

I am lol sorry bout that :S

It was a thread about hilarious things happening etc

These Android.phones can be too fast sometimes

thebuzz

England was in the sky because people got a plane there.

e04bf0c8

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Greece

This has to go down as one of the best and most subtle Fr. Ted references of all time. I literally lol'd on the bus!!!

shinikins

Northclare wrote: »

It was a thread about hilarious things happening etc

You'd still be in the wrong thread

OneArt

When I was a kid I used to think that in order to speak Latin you just had to speak English in that deep, echoey, Gregorian-chant type voice. Spent a good while thinking I was fluent in Latin.

Bipolar Joe

I used to think the weather man decided what weather we were gonna have. I'd be pissed off when he decided something I didn't want.

Here's a really extravagant one, I thought that grown ups decided when night time was going to be. I didn't know there was anything outside of Ireland, thought it was just us. There was a button in the Dáil, and when pushed, a big dome would close over Ireland, blocking out the sun. Stars were holes in the dome that had rusted through that let light in. If I was told it was time for bed, but it was still light out, I wanted to call the Guards so they could tell Mary Robinson about kids being put to bed before the pushed the button, because it was illegal.

Shiny

When I was a kid one of my Uncles told me that babies came from the cabbage and carrot patch in the field (farming background here :rolleyes:) when you wished really hard for it to happen. I believed this for years (I'm guessing age around 5 or 6). I was getting into massive arguments in the play ground telling other kids that they were talking bullsh1t with terms such as men's seeds and stuff.

I eventually challenged my parents on the issue and they completely avoided "the talk" by buying me a book called "Growing up". It was full of cartoon naked pictures of people from children to adults, full illustrated explanations of pretty much everything one could possibly want to know. It was awesome! Also allowed me to have more sensible playground discussions from then on.

Blue_Seas

jamo2oo9 wrote: »

I used to think that mothers gave birth to girls and fathers gave birth to boys.. I saw a picture of my dad in hospital and I was convinced about it...

I used to think that a penis was called willy and a vagina was called a peanuts.
Also thought that deleting history on the computer would save me from trouble..

My uncle lives in the States and every time I saw a plane, I thought my uncle was on that plane. Then in 9/11 attacks, I wept myself because I thought my uncle died on those planes that were hijacked

I also had the notion that women gave birth to girls and men to boys. Was very confused when my mom went in to hospital giving birth to my brother, I wondered why my dad (when he was taking us to her) wasn't the one in the hospital.

Blue_Seas

Oh, forgot this one. I used to think sausages came out of the teats of pigs, and that piglets would suck the sausages out for food.

conf101

When I was 5 or 6 I asked my mother if I smashed the telly screen and jumped inside would I be transported to wherever was on screen at the time. She was busy so just fobbed me off with a 'yeah, sure' probably not having even heard what I had asked.

Power Rangers was on so I went to the garage and got my hurl and but for two reasons my mother would have been dealing with a broken TV and a confused son:

1. I didn't want to get stuck in America and had no idea how I'd get back from there.
2. Putty Monsters - they terrified me and I was sure they'd kill me.

I continued to believe this for a long time but never quite plucked up the courage to take a trip into the TV.

fishy fishy

i was always waiting for my cousins in "America" to be on Sesame Street - I watched and watched, thinking they just had to walk down the 'street" to be on it.

norrie rugger

murpho999 wrote: »

Isn't that not a "second cousin"?

that would be the child of the first removed?

norrie rugger

Squ wrote: »

My cousin thought that two men having sex automatically got aids..

So do the Blood Transfusion Service Board

Rubberlegs

I thought that those 3 wheel Robin Reliant cars were for people with a disability.
Thought that cat's milk actually came from cats, who the hell would put that in their tea?
Always thought that to broaden your horizons meant something sexual:o

Wibbs

73Cat wrote: »

I thought that those 3 wheel Robin Reliant cars were for people with a disability.

Ha! so did I! :D

Always thought that to broaden your horizons meant something sexual:o

Well... How you doin?

fasttalkerchat

I think everyone needs to go back and read post 265 http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=80283703&postcount=265

He got zero recognition for that!

Jimoslimos

itsgrandlike wrote: »

Im not sure if this was said as unfortunetly dont have time to read all the posts but when I was younger and i asked my mum where she was going, she would always tell me she was going to see a man about a dog.. I always thought a load of women stood around a circle with one man and a dog in the middle.. WTF!!

I remember my dad saying similar, and I foolishly thought he was going to finally get that pet my siblings and myself were always pestering him for.

Never happened, not until I grew up and left home anyway:mad:

wilson10

About 6 months ago in the local pub one night, the publicans son who was serving announced that he'd finally convinced the auld fella to get WiFi in.

There were a few small cheers of approval and when silence descended one old guy announced that he probably wouldn't even try it.

He'd be sticking with the pint of Guinness

Galwayguy20

I remember after Veronica Guerin was shot, asking my granny who'd want to shoot a tennis player

sunflower27

Thought yoghurt was curdled milk for years.

I also out threw out passionfruits the odd time wegot them because I thought all the seeds were dead insects....

The Jman

I thought when a woman was raped she lost her memory

Walkman

Diamond Dust wrote: »

I thought midges were called "midgets "

Post 2 and I've learned something new. Thanks

The Jman

The Jman wrote: »

I thought when a woman was raped she lost her memory

Feels wrong to have roared laughing at this.
Feels more wrong to thank it.
Consider this post your thanks!

Real Life

Deleted User wrote: »

Feels wrong to have roared laughing at this.
Feels more wrong to thank it.
Consider this post your thanks!

same here, i know theres a joke in there too but i shouldnt say it