Revoke Guardianship? Advice please?

Supermumzy

Im looking into revoking or removing guardianship from my 2 and a half year olds father. And im looking to find out is this possible and how do you go about doing it? Im going to call treoir tomorrow but for tonight I just thought i would ask as not much online.

So basically i had my little boy in 2009. After he was born 5wks old he got really sick and ended up in hospital for 2wks which included xmas eve and his dad left me alone in there and i broke up with him after that. Following xmas and through his stay they discovered my little boy had very bad kidney reflux in which he has had a total of 9 operations none of which his father has come to or even asked about how he got on until he was due to take him again. Ive always been very fair for the sake of my little boy and i dont knw my dad so obviously wantd to keep his father part of his life so i was very generous i feel and let him take him every second wkend fri-sun. Also because he lives with his parents i knew my little man would be safe. At 6months old his wonderful dad left for 6wks to london to "live his life", party and do an internship. After this we had constant battles one of which includes him kidnapping my little boy from my parents house! STILL i continued to do my best and be mature & fair and never took it further. After we split up and of course he didnt want to he became very arrogant and pushy to the point were he used to push by me in my own house to go to were my son was or to pick up his stuff from the hall so i started having him pick up my son from my mothers home. Ive done my very very best to do whats best for my son & feels like its constant thrown in my face. He moves around the wks hes supposed to take him to suit himself goin to parties, events etc and even dragged me through court as if i was the baddie to get guardianship of his son which he done just to be spiteful as when the judge was adjourning it to another time he got so mad and completely LIED sayin it was urgent he got guardianship as i was trying to put my child into foster care which was OUTRAGEOUS!! but of course as a precaution the judge made me swear on oath i was mortified! I didnt want us to spend our time arguing so when we went back into court i advised i had no problem with him been guardian only problem i had was that after his degree i knew he was planning on moving to the uk for good and i said i didnt feel it would be in my little boys best interests to have guardianship then but i was fine with it for the moment. I didnt even take out a maintenance order against him because he only gives me 30e a wk and its really not about the money for me.

He finished college may just gone and a few weeks back i got hit with a bombshell.. hes leaving big suprise! but oh no not for the uk for AUSTRALIA!! FOR GOOD!! and i was like what about my son, oh he will try get back when he can and if not theres always skype or somethin. I actually felt my blood boil. How can someone who tries to act like father of d year takin me to court and everything when i never ever once stopped him seen my son.. how can he just walk out on his child like that?? I understand work is tight here but he didnt even TRY look for work here its OZ and thats it.

Im seriously considering going back to court and trying to remove his guardianship and placing my mam as second guardian so i know god forbid if anything happened me he would have my mam and my brothers and sisters who he is always around and comfortable with.

Sorry for the essay but my heart is broke by this. Dont get me wrong im delighted to see the back of him but its just not right on my little boy and how on gods earth am i supposed to explain SKYPE to a 2yr old???? He will be so upset having to close the screen he wouldnt understand!! I could have fought him to the death before in court and i prob would have won but i really didnt want to do that. Hes made it very clear he took me to court out of spite. I just think its so sad and dont want my son left in the hands of someone hes barely going to know and how do i get passport forms signed etc?

I think i might have a good chance in gettin them revoked what do you think??

Any advice im very grateful, thanks x

wmpdd3

Personally i wouldnt bother as in your sons eyes in 18years time, things may look dofferently. I would firstly make a will so your son will be looked after by your family if anything was to happen. Then i would file a maintaince order. though i doubt this would be enforcable outside ireland, it would be there if the birth father was to return. Also it may have some standing in a country where maintance is more streamlined. In my opinion, dont worry too much about your son, he will miss him for a while but will come to acept it very fast, its when your son is older and asks questions, thats when you have to present an unbias version of what happened.

naitsirhc

There's people out there who can't have kids who would make great parents...then there's dweebs like this guy. P***** me off to no end.

As far as the situation your in goes, I'd advise you make a will as well and when your son is Older explain what happened and let him make his own choices. Though if this guy starts hinting at bringing the child with him then I would take the guardianship ASAP or do whatever to make sure he isn't allowed bring the child.

Supermumzy

Oh no he has no interest in taking him plus he wouldnt have a leg to stand on if he tried that... His visa he got working/holiday because this was cheaper to start off with & he also claimed he had NO dependants. I dont mind about explaining to my son in later years but his dad actually expects me to put my 2year old in front of a laptop to skype him and maybe that would be alright if i could explain to my son what skype is and why his dad has to go when shutting off the laptop but he wouldnt understand and personally im disgusted hes gone so why should i put my son through that so he doesnt feel so guilty about walkin out on him?? As a guardian hes supposed to be responsible for medical decisions, passport forms, education etc which he wont be part of and i dont think i should have to go back to court all the time for these things when im not the person in the wrong... I wouldnt even be suprised if my money stopped too. Although like i said the money part doesnt bother me its the fact he has the nerve to leave my son to "live his life while hes young" (23). Just not right.

Moonbeam

Is it his only option for a job?
Did he discuss it with you?
2 year olds are well able for Skype and if it is the only option of contact maybe it is worth it.
You both sound really young and he sounds like he wants responsibility only as it suits him.
You could bring him back to court but if he has decided he is leaving then that is it and there is little you can do about it but do write a will and talk to a solicitor.

Supermumzy

no he didnt even look for work here.. all his friends are in australia and he didnt discuss much with me i actually found out through a friend from a facebook status of his then a wk later he told me. also i know my little boy wouldnt understand skype not when it came to shutting down the laptop and he would constantly pull at the laptop thinkin daddy was there. n he only wants to skype every 2months because it wud be too hard for him as he claims. im 23 also but wud never turn ny back on my reslosibilities. ive been more than mature about this whole situation.

Jesus Shaves

Did your ex go through the courts to obtain legal guardianship?

Supermumzy

yeah we went to court only last december but i did make the judge aware of my concerns regarding his dad planning to leave and she said we wud hav to go back to court but he had the cheek to ask me oh cud i keep it out of court. i dont want someone as guardian of my son who is so selfish and cares so little for him.

January

It's very had to get guardianship revoked once it has been granted. The only reason they'll usually reverse it is if a guardian has been abusive or has severe criminal convictions

edellc

Op please go and talk to a solicitor or free legal aid about this, I know that your son with be upset about his daddy going away but you seem like a level headed mammy who has enough love for your son as two parents and I am sure his daddy will be missed for a while but forgotten over time...I have seen this happen to my nephew its been 4 years since he seen his daddy and although in school questions will be asked (by friends or when discussions happen regarding communion and such)as long as you explain in terms he understands it will all work out.

Now for the bigger and more problematic issue which is needing his name on passport forms, schools and such are fine its the passport that is the issue and this is what you need to speak to a solicitor about, the family law courts are hard places to deal with and although they say their intentions are what is best for the child sometimes their judgements are not...so speak to a solicitor and see what they say regarding going back to court to get this guardianship revoked.

Do however make a legal will so that if anything bad happens to you, then your intentions towards the welfare of your child are laid out in legal form.

Best of luck with it all and hopefully with him gone you and your son can have some routine back in place without daddy being a pain in the backside, its easy to be a sperm donor its takes a man to be a dad and maybe daddy will grow up while away and see where his responsibilities should be or maybe not and he will get a wake up call in years to come and not from you but from his own son when he wants nothing to do with his absent daddy.

love and hugs op xx

naitsirhc

He only wants to Skype once every two months? I had more contact with my older brother while he was over there picking fruit for ten hours a day.

I'd say just get the guardianship off him and if he wants to be part of the little boys life when he's older, let him try.

hoodwinked

edellc wrote: »

Now for the bigger and more problematic issue which is needing his name on passport forms, schools and such are fine its the passport that is the issue

This is really important


as Guardian you will have to get his signature to get a passport for your son, if he is in Austrailia it will get messy posting forms to him getting him to post them back..etc

the only way around this if i remember correctly is to swear in front of a commissioner for oaths that there is no other guardian,

which in your case will be a lie if he is guardian.

i would get it revoked while he is out of the country if thats possible, and if he wants it back again you can always go through the courts on his return to Ireland.

Supermumzy

i no every two months ha because it would be too hard for him?. i spoke with treoir and my local court clerk and supposedly ive a very good chance of getting them removed as by leaving the country for good hes walking away from his duties as a guardian so good news

im very fair and if he did come back he can try rebuild his relationship with my son but no way am i puttin myself or my son through unnessecary stress by skype or courts because he left to live his own life. in my eyes thats not caring for your child very much. i no plenty of seperated fathers with trades etc and could easily leave for a better life but they would cuz tgeir kids are more important to them.

thanks for all ur feedback

naitsirhc

Glad you got good news. Hope it all goes well