Father doesn't accept gay son

willmunny1990

The following video is of an Irish lad that has come out gay. He goes into detail (towards the end of the clip) about his father not accepting it.

Although I'm not gay, I have a lot of sympathy for those that are discriminated for being gay. I'm hopeful that these backward attitudes (demonstrated in the clip above) can be eradicated from society.

But I fear that these attitudes are all too prevalent and there will never be peace for gays.

The response from this man's father, and how he can be so dismissive, disgusts me. And I don't buy this ''ignorant culchie'' attitude. It's a disgrace and a huge problem in Ireland IMO.

AlmightyCushion

Is he sure he's gay? He's not wearing pink or talking about how fabulous everything is.

RedRightHand

Young fella has row with father, whines about it on YouTube. I'm not bothered.

DaveShore66

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Is he sure he's gay? He's not wearing pink or talking about how fabulous everything is.

HA!! Hahahahaha!!

Sierra 117

RedRightHand wrote: »

Young fella has row with father, whines about it on YouTube. I'm not bothered.

Bothered enough to post though.

Millicent

RedRightHand wrote: »

Young fella has row with father, whines about it on YouTube. I'm not bothered.

It's hardly a whine. One of the most important people in a person's life can't deal with something that he can't change and is a part of who he is. That's desperately sad and hardly a "row" with the father.

foxyboxer

"Do you want more cheese in your bread?"

Steady on lads ffs!

Jay D

Didn't think it was a whine either, very matter of fact, good piece.

Corkbah

Sierra 117 wrote: »

Bothered enough to post though.

why do people persist in stating the obvious .... in a vague attempt at trying to either be funny or ridicule the previous poster ..... does it make you feel better ? did you have some sort of smug smile on your face when you typed your response ?

Seriously (and this isn't just directed at you) .... if someone comments saying who cares !! its a rhetorical statement/question ...they do not want an answer !!

Millicent

Corkbah wrote: »

why do people persist in stating the obvious .... in a vague attempt at trying to either be funny or ridicule the previous poster ..... does it make you feel better ? did you have some sort of smug smile on your face when you typed your response ?

Seriously (and this isn't just directed at you) .... if someone comments saying who cares !! its a rhetorical statement/question ...they do not want an answer !!

But why do people bother to post on a thread to say they're not bothered? That's surely more baffling?

1ZRed

I don't really like watching these videos because I don't exactly like to fill my head with this sort of thing when I'm in the process of coming out but I will say that when I came out to my sister recently, it went perfectly well, in fact it was kind of a funny story.
I know my family will be fine about it in due time once I do it but I'm not sure about my Dad though. I don't exactly have any sort of relationship with him so I'm not sure how he'll take it.

Thing is though, I've learned to not give a fuck about things if they don't work out and keep on going for myself and toughen up. I'm going to be the first gay guy (that anyone ever knew of) on either side of my family, ever, so I'll have to set the standard. I think I can do it though and take the heat for the younger generation in my family when it inevitably happens so to lessen the deal.

Yeah this situation is shit for him and it shouldn't be happening but this mindset is still going strong in places, and although dying out, I think it will be around for a good while yet.
Thankfully younger people are way more tolerant of this. I actually have a huge amount of respect for straight guys who are completely acceptant and see no problem with being gay. It was always my fear not to be one of the lads once I came out but thankfully that hasn't been the case so that's one good thing that's happened to me anyway.

That's my stupid off topic take on this anyway

WumBuster

Im sure its very hard coming out but its also difficult to accept for those they are coming out to, particularily the father when its his son, so while his reaction wasnt good, in most cases the father will probably come around eventually and accept it.

Now he just has to come out of the mono-brow closet. That pluck job is fooling nobody.

Solair

The father needs to check that unconditional love bit of the t&cs attaching to fatherhood and get over himself! His son's sexual orientation is his son's business and not something he should be offended by!

He has an intelligent, presentable, healthy, articulate, self confident son who happens to be gay!

He should be delighted!

I don't mean to be harsh, but there's nothing to accept other than reality.

efb

If only all parents were like mine! They were great when I came out!

drunkmonkey

Solair wrote: »

He has an intelligent, presentable, healthy, articulate, self confident son who happens to be gay!

He should be delighted!

Have you seen the rest of his youtube videos, if I was his dad i'd be moving house.

Fuinseog

willmunny1990 wrote: »

The following video is of an Irish lad that has come out gay. He goes into detail (towards the end of the clip) about his father not accepting it.

Although I'm not gay, I have a lot of sympathy for those that are discriminated for being gay. I'm hopeful that these backward attitudes (demonstrated in the clip above) can be eradicated from society.

But I fear that these attitudes are all too prevalent and there will never be peace for gays.

The response from this man's father, and how he can be so dismissive, disgusts me. And I don't buy this ''ignorant culchie'' attitude. It's a disgrace and a huge problem in Ireland IMO.

everyone is so tolerant towards gays these days. where were all these tolerant folks when gays were criminals?

My name is URL

I've been coming out as straight for years and nobody accepts it

staker

I wouldn't chose my father's acceptance of me over my own happiness in any way shape or form,for whatever reason.
If that was my own father, I'd stay well back til he realises the error of his ways. Time is a great healer and all that.

Caiseoipe19

willmunny1990 wrote: »

The following video is of an Irish lad that has come out gay. He goes into detail (towards the end of the clip) about his father not accepting it.

Although I'm not gay, I have a lot of sympathy for those that are discriminated for being gay. I'm hopeful that these backward attitudes (demonstrated in the clip above) can be eradicated from society.

But I fear that these attitudes are all too prevalent and there will never be peace for gays.

The response from this man's father, and how he can be so dismissive, disgusts me. And I don't buy this ''ignorant culchie'' attitude. It's a disgrace and a huge problem in Ireland IMO.

Maybe the news just took him by surprise and was caught on the hop, so to speak? Hardly warrants being called disgraceful or disgusting to you. The fact that the son wasn't sure if he even know what being gay was and the fact that he thought the son might grow out of it shows that he was in fact quite ignorant in what being gay means...probably through no fault of his own.

galwayrush

My name is URL wrote: »

I've been coming out as straight for years and nobody accepts it

Try telling people you're a male with lesbian tendancies.

Solair

My name is URL wrote: »

I've been coming out as straight for years and nobody accepts it

You're accepted! We'll send you a certificate in the post.

Fuinseog

its a big move to come out and declare ones gayness openly.
it is a bitter disappointment for most parents-no grandchildren.


its forbidden to say it but homosexuality is not natural no more than if I wanted a civil partnership with a sheep or goat.

mikemac1

Did we not have a thread a few weeks ago about Irish men being emotional statues?

Have you ever hugged your Dad or had a serious conversation? I certainly haven't

So he was told the news and continued on making the sandwiches and got general chit chat, what was the lad expecting?

His Dad was never going to sit down and talk heart to heart. If it was other news, like the lad said he had depression he still would have gotten no reaction

This is Ireland, strong and silent is right and talking about issues is a sign of weakness. Just the way

And now the lad has blasted him on youtube

LoYL

Fuinseog wrote: »

willmunny1990 wrote: »

The following video is of an Irish lad that has come out gay. He goes into detail (towards the end of the clip) about his father not accepting it.

Although I'm not gay, I have a lot of sympathy for those that are discriminated for being gay. I'm hopeful that these backward attitudes (demonstrated in the clip above) can be eradicated from society.

But I fear that these attitudes are all too prevalent and there will never be peace for gays.

The response from this man's father, and how he can be so dismissive, disgusts me. And I don't buy this ''ignorant culchie'' attitude. It's a disgrace and a huge problem in Ireland IMO.

everyone is so tolerant towards gays these days. where were all these tolerant folks when gays were criminals?

At Mass. Aye.

Inbox

All these gay lads are too sensitive a bit like women actually.

Mod: Banned

LoYL

My name is URL wrote: »

I've been coming out as straight for years and nobody accepts it

Get into the hot press.

Millicent

Fuinseog wrote: »

everyone is so tolerant towards gays these days. where were all these tolerant folks when gays were criminals?

Eh?

SusieBlue

When you make a decision to have a child you are promising to love care for and accept whoever that child might turn out to be. Does my head in when parents forget this minor detail when their children come out as homosexual.

I understand some parents need time to get their heads round it but when some disowns their child over something as trivial as their sexuality it makes me angry.

I know a guy who was disowned by his entire family when he came out. His mother writes his brother letters every week in prison, where he's doing time for beating the shít out of his ex partner in front of their kid and dealing heroin. Makes me sick that they can't accept their gay son but shower his thug of a brother with love and affection.

DaveShore66

Id be disappointed if I had a son and he was gay. I know its the done thing nowadays to accept it and be cool about it but I have to admit it would sicken me. I'd like to think in time I might come to terms with it, but I do find it disgusting when I see two guys together.

TeddyTedson

Cut out the bickering or I'll give you all slaps to the bottom.

Was this guy a boardsie then?

staker

DaveShore66 wrote: »

Id be disappointing if I had a son and he was gay. I know its the done thing nowadays to accept it and be cool about it but I have to admit it would sicken me. I'd like to think in time I might come to terms with it, but I do find it disgusting when I see two guys together.

Not the best attempt, try again:pac:

ahnowbrowncow

WhiteRoses wrote: »

When you make a decision to have a child you are promising to love care for and accept whoever that child might turn out to be. Does my head in when parents forget this minor detail when their children come out as homosexual.

No you don't, you seem to be a bit naive

Sierra 117

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Cut out the bickering or I'll give you all slaps to the bottom.

Don't say it unless you mean it

WumBuster

mikemac1 wrote: »

Did we not have a thread a few weeks ago about Irish men being emotional statues?

Have you ever hugged your Dad or had a serious conversation? I certainly haven't

So he was told the news and continued on making the sandwiches and got general chit chat, what was the lad expecting?

His Dad was never going to sit down and talk heart to heart. If it was other news, like the lad said he had depression he still would have gotten no reaction

This is Ireland, strong and silent is right and talking about issues is a sign of weakness. Just the way

And now the lad has blasted him on youtube

I sort of agree with you. Im sure the lad is in an emotive state over this but to go onto a public domain basically bitching about his dad like that, who i assume gave him a happy, normal upbringing, is very bad form, imo, and certainly wont make his dad any more accepting of his situation.

SusieBlue

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

No you don't, you seem to be a bit naive

I'm not naive at all, I do believe that if you choose to have a child you are promising to accept them for who they are, regardless of who they turn out to be. Is that not part of being a parent or am I totally missing the point here?

paddyandy

I hope being Gay is'nt made compulsory as i would'nt like it at all ...jeeeeeez .

ejmaztec

Jay D wrote: »

Didn't think it was a whine either, very matter of fact, good piece.

I won't watch it because he might try telling me that the Spice Girls are brilliant, it's a conspiracy.

Millicent

paddyandy wrote: »

I hope being Gay is'nt made compulsory as i would'nt like it at all ...jeeeeeez .

I doubt the gays would be delighted about it either, Paddy, to be honest with you.

KKkitty

Inbox wrote: »

All these gay lads are too sensitive a bit like women actually.

That's really hurt my feelings. How could you say such a thing :pac: The gay men I know are fun loving and far from sensitive btw. If you're gay I think you have to develop a thick skin. It's not fair that in this day and age that gay and lesbians are still judged on their way of life but society is becoming more accepting I hope. As a previous poster said there's the issue of no grandchildren or maybe as regards their parents having a fear of how their child will be treated by others.

Colmustard

Its not easy for some fathers to accept, I think the son should understand that, instead he posted a clip on Youtube to try gather some celebrity.

In most cases the parents just need time, I think this lad is a bot of a cutn.

Red21

He sound like a bit of d!!khead to me, he's going on about being shy while posting a video on the net in which he tells of his teenage masturbation habits. We dont really know what his father is like, but we do know that this guy is doing his best to try and make him sound like a fool.
It sounded to me like the oldman was uncomfortable talking about sex with his son, big deal, just talk to him about stuff.

efb

DaveShore66 wrote: »

Id be disappointed if I had a son and he was gay. I know its the done thing nowadays to accept it and be cool about it but I have to admit it would sicken me. I'd like to think in time I might come to terms with it, but I do find it disgusting when I see two guys together.

why do you watch????

Xterminator

Solair wrote: »

The father needs to check that unconditional love bit of the t&cs attaching to fatherhood and get over himself! His son's sexual orientation is his son's business and not something he should be offended by!

there are no such terms & conditions.

also has no-one considered this from the fathers view point? assuming he was raised as a christian, he has been told that sodomy is a sin, and is disgusting to god from an early age.


Leviticus 20:13

If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.


also the father was raised when it was also a crime to be homosexual, it has only been decriminalised since 93.

So i dont find it overly strange that someone from that generation is of the opinion it is disgusting.

i am not trying to open a debate on the rights or wrongs of being gay, simply pointing out its not unusual or hard to believe that the father holds the opinions he does.

X

ahnowbrowncow

WhiteRoses wrote: »

I'm not naive at all, I do believe that if you choose to have a child you are promising to accept them for who they are, regardless of who they turn out to be. Is that not part of being a parent or am I totally missing the point here?

Well it'd be great if worked like that but of course not all parents choose to have children and not all parents are caring, open minded people.

So yes I do think you're naive for believing that

efb

Xterminator wrote: »

there are no such terms & conditions.

also has no-one considered this from the fathers view point? assuming he was raised as a christian, he has been told that sodomy is a sin, and is disgusting to god from an early age.


Leviticus 20:13

If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.


also the father was raised when it was also a crime to be homosexual, it has only been decriminalised since 93.

So i dont find it overly strange that someone from that generation is of the opinion it is disgusting.

i am not trying to open a debate on the rights or wrongs of being gay, simply pointing out its not unusual or hard to believe that the father holds the opinions he does.

X

Leviticus, a great read...

dd972

Double Income, no kids, no pmt, those gay lads know where their breads buttered ! :pac:

Seanchai

Reminds me of Mícheál Ó Conghaile's great short story, Athair, about a gay man coming out and how his father dealt (or didn't) with it.

SusieBlue

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

Well it'd be great if worked like that but of course not all parents choose to have children and not all parents are caring, open minded people.

So yes I do think you're naive for believing that

Unplanned pregnancies do not give the parent the right to forever hold a grudge against the child, and it doesn't justify a lack of compassion when their children doesn't turn out as you hope them to.
If a parent thinks they can't be a caring, accepting care giver then maybe they aren't cut out to be parents.

ahnowbrowncow

WhiteRoses wrote: »

Unplanned pregnancies do not give the parent the right to forever hold a grudge against the child, and it doesn't justify a lack of compassion when their children doesn't turn out as you hope them to.
If a parent thinks they can't be a caring, accepting care giver then maybe they aren't cut out to be parents.

I'm not arguing that. I'm saying there's plenty of people who are not cut out to be parents but still have kids.

Poop happens.

TeddyTedson

I find it really strange to be honest when anyone around my own age (25) has issues with a persons sexuality.
There's quite a lot who do all the same.
As I have to say to some friends who get weirded out being around openly gay people is "in what way does it actually affect you."
It doesn't.
I could care less if someone is gay or not.