Father doesn't accept gay son

My name is URL

Carlos_Ray wrote: »

I wonder will he come out and admit which username he uses on boards. I'm pretty sure he's already posted on the thread.

Was it this that gave it away? :pac:

bp1989 wrote: »

Oh, and for what it's worth, the YouTube video is mine.

Lyaiera

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Thats not true. You have to spit on it first :pac:

Yeah. It's the law that all anal sex be filmed by accredited film union workers.

1ZRed

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Thats not true. You have to spit on it first :pac:

Don't come on here telling me how to do my job! You're forgetting who invented anal sex in the first place!

Benny_Cake

1ZRed wrote: »

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Thats not true. You have to spit on it first :pac:

Don't come on here telling me how to do my job! You're forgetting who invented anal sex in the first place!

Feckin' Greeks, that's who.

efb

I'm imagining some of the posters here playing the part of that old woman in Fr Ted! Lol

jill_valentine

My name is URL wrote: »

So can you honestly say that you wouldn't have a problem if two of your siblings were riding each other, or if your adult sister decided to have a sexual relationship with your dad? I'm fairly liberal, but even I would have difficulty accepting that shit. I wouldn't stand in their way, but I certainly wouldn't be saying 'fair play and good luck' to them either. Just because people are free to do any mad thing they want, doesn't mean that I have to see it as being okay.

I'd have a bit of an issue with it for the same reasons as a poster previously cited - incestuous relationships are almost invariably associated with some kind of abuse or otherwise unhealthy power dynamic. It would weird me out, in part, for the same reason as a relationship between a teacher and student.

If they're consenting adults, however, and abuse and etc is all ruled out, and there's no risk or intention of having kids, then I can't see what you'd legislate against.

So my instinctive "weirded out" reaction is partly because it sets off alarm bells about possibly compromised consent, but no such thing can be claimed for homosexual relationships.

Galwayguy35

Skapoot wrote: »

This can really help young people who are struggling with their homosexuality. It must feel really lonely in this backward society.

The guy who made this video is putting himself up for the pathetic criticisms of the internet (and of boards. ie) because he wants to help other, young people who may feel like they're on their own.

Insult him all you want, he's still a better person than you'll ever be to put himself out there for the sake of normalising homosexuality and to let young people know the support they need is there.

For every 10 insults he gets, he'll be impacting 1 person in a positive way.

He might even save a life with this.

No he made a video giving out about his father.

Millicent

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

No he made a video giving out about his father.

No he didn't. He made a video talking about coming out. There was less than a minute of an anecdote of his father's reaction in it.

Silvics

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Is he sure he's gay? He's not wearing pink or talking about how fabulous everything is.

You reckon you're qualified to moderate?

Galwayguy35

Millicent wrote: »

No he didn't. He made a video talking about coming out. There was less than a minute of an anecdote of his father's reaction in it.

There was no need to bring his father into it at all.

Millicent

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

There was no need to bring his father into it at all.

Did you even watch the video? (I have the strong suspicion you didn't.)

Scanlas The 2nd

jill_valentine wrote: »

My name is URL wrote: »

So can you honestly say that you wouldn't have a problem if two of your siblings were riding each other, or if your adult sister decided to have a sexual relationship with your dad? I'm fairly liberal, but even I would have difficulty accepting that shit. I wouldn't stand in their way, but I certainly wouldn't be saying 'fair play and good luck' to them either. Just because people are free to do any mad thing they want, doesn't mean that I have to see it as being okay.

I'd have a bit of an issue with it for the same reasons as a poster previously cited - incestuous relationships are almost invariably associated with some kind of abuse or otherwise unhealthy power dynamic. It would weird me out, in part, for the same reason as a relationship between a teacher and student.

If they're consenting adults, however, and abuse and etc is all ruled out, and there's no risk or intention of having kids, then I can't see what you'd legislate against.

So my instinctive "weirded out" reaction is partly because it sets off alarm bells about possibly compromised consent, but no such thing can be claimed for homosexual relationships.

So do you get the weirded alarm bells if 30 year old and 32 year old brothers ride each other because they enjoy it for their own pleasure?

Silvics

DaveShore66 wrote: »

Id be disappointed if I had a son and he was gay. I know its the done thing nowadays to accept it and be cool about it but I have to admit it would sicken me. I'd like to think in time I might come to terms with it, but I do find it disgusting when I see two guys together.

The done thing? What do you mean?

Dyr

Colmustard wrote: »

LOL
Did you ever feel ashamed of been white??

Gay pride is not so much about been proud, its more about not been ashamed.

So why is the parade full of blokes wearing masks?

Cienciano

Bambi wrote: »

So why is the parade full of blokes wearing masks?

Was it? Which gay pride festival were you at?

Lyaiera

Cienciano wrote: »

Was it? Which gay pride festival were you at?

He must be confusing it with the Straight Pride Festival, i.e. Halloween.

Annasopra

Bambi wrote: »

So why is the parade full of blokes wearing masks?

It's not.

Dyr

mango salsa wrote: »

It's not.

Drove past it last year, two things remain in my mind

a) crap music
b) blokes on floats in masks

Annasopra

Bambi wrote: »

Drove past it last year, two things remain in my mind

a) crap music
b) blokes on floats in masks

Right ok. That's not quite "full of" as they are a minority.

Dyr

mango salsa wrote: »

Right ok. That's not quite "full of" as they are a minority.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colloquialism. Good chap.

FierceMild

Bambi wrote: »

So why is the parade full of blokes wearing masks?

Same reason the St. Patrick's day parade is full of people wearing masks and costumes.

It's a parade. Those participating dress up for the occasion.

Dyr

FierceMild wrote: »

Same reason the St. Patrick's day parade is full of people wearing masks and costumes.

It's a parade. Those participating dress up for the occasion.

Nah, stop trying to rationalise this, there's wearing a mask as part of a costume and then there's wearing a mask so you won't be recognised, and I saw both on the day.

Annasopra

Bambi wrote: »

Nah, stop trying to rationalise this, there's wearing a mask as part of a costume and then there's wearing a mask so you won't be recognised, and I saw both on the day.

So what though.

rochey84

Bambi wrote: »

Nah, stop trying to rationalise this, there's wearing a mask as part of a costume and then there's wearing a mask so you won't be recognised, and I saw both on the day.

Bambi, do you understand the concept of irony? The lads and girls on the floats are wearing masks, in my opinion to pay homage to the people that legally could not partake in such parades, did you look at the other few THOUSAND people that march in the parade?

You know I'm not a big fan of Pride marches/parades cause I believe the original message is lost, however this constant bashing of it from people who have never experienced it really gets me wound up! check out the parade, check out the feeling of community, and the speeches after and when you've done all that, if you still feel the need to bash the Pride parade go for it mate!!!

Dyr

rochey84 wrote: »

Bambi, do you understand the concept of irony? The lads and girls on the floats are wearing masks, in my opinion to pay homage to the people that legally could not partake in such parades, did you look at the other few THOUSAND people that march in the parade?

You know I'm not a big fan of Pride marches/parades cause I believe the original message is lost, however this constant bashing of it from people who have never experienced it really gets me wound up! check out the parade, check out the feeling of community, and the speeches after and when you've done all that, if you still feel the need to bash the Pride parade go for it mate!!!

Who's bashing it? I'm saying if you're taking part in an XYZ pride parade while hiding your identity then you've missed the point on a fairly fundaf***inmental level.

FierceMild

Bambi wrote: »

Nah, stop trying to rationalise this, there's wearing a mask as part of a costume and then there's wearing a mask so you won't be recognised, and I saw both on the day.

Fair enough.

Easy to understand though. If I were gay and growing up/living in a homophobic environment (like narrow-minded or ignorant family or neighbours) then I'd wear a mask if I wanted to attend one of those things.

It's perfectly reasonable for someone not to want the whole world to know their gay or bisexual but still want to attend a gay pride festival/parade to show support.

Why would someone whose ASHAMED of being gay attend a gay PRIDE parade. Wouldn't they be more likely to be homophobic?

rochey84

Bambi wrote: »

Who's bashing it? I'm saying if you're taking part in an XYZ pride parade while hiding your identity then you've missed the point on a fairly fundaf***inmental level.

Ok that's part of my post addressed what about the rest of the post? The possible irony? did you not notice the THOUSANDS of other people who don't wear masks? the sense of community at the event??? why only address part of my post?

Dyr

rochey84 wrote: »

Ok that's part of my post addressed what about the rest of the post? The possible irony? did you not notice the THOUSANDS of other people who don't wear masks? the sense of community at the event??? why only address part of my post?

Because the rest of your post was irrelevant to the point at hand and a bit stupid, I was trying to be polite about it but that didnt work out

Cienciano

Bambi wrote: »

Who's bashing it? I'm saying if you're taking part in an XYZ pride parade while hiding your identity then you've missed the point on a fairly fundaf***inmental level.

They're not wearing masks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwW3WsB2Heg&feature=related

rochey84

Bambi wrote: »

Because the rest of your post was irrelevant to the point at hand and a bit stupid, I was trying to be polite about it but that didnt work out

Please explain, you said the parade was full of people in masks? yet then you only alluded to the people on floats and when I suggested that maybe this was a way of paying homage to the people, who couldn't due to the era they lived in, celebrate in the same way we do today? I think you're attempting to be flippant in not addressing these points?

Do you have any concept of what it's like to be a second class citizen, forced to pay the same taxes, forced to hide who you really are because you're afraid, and then when you do start being honest about who you are accepting the fact that as I mentioned you are a second class citizen? you have no idea what pride means to the people who march, and if some of them aren't being ironic then we as a city, nation and race, need to support them and encourage them to come to the conclusion that we are all the same don't we????

Colmustard

Bambi wrote: »

So why is the parade full of blokes wearing masks?

Its not a protest march, its a fun parade. Its a celebration of gay culture.

Corkfeen

Corkfeen wrote: »

Because they have been treated like second class citizens for a good proportion of time. To this day, they don't have complete equality alongside straight people and it's for general acceptance that they are like everyone else and should be accepted as they are(there's people that think conversion therapy is fecking acceptable). Gay Pride Marches and gay bars allow everyone in , they're non discriminatory so it's a rather silly point. Black Pride also exists btw....

First of all Gay people will be allowed marry its only a matter of time and they have every right to marry and right to fight for it.
Lets face it when Gay people are allowed to marry they are still going to "March" because of "Gay Pride" and the "persecution" they receive. But lets be honest alot of other minority get persecuted more. Its 2012 North siders Fat people and Gingers get persecuted more the gay people.

And with regards the Gay pubs , yes they do discriminate as my mate works on the door and he is told to look out for straight male groups and not to let them in.
Dont forget you have "Gay friendly" B&B's, Gay Sauna's, Gay bars, Gay cruises, Gay forums Gay radio Gay TV, to go along with the Gay marches. Until all thats gone and the gay community is scrapped there will always be some sort of discrimination.

And listening to that video i have heard of fathers reacting worse to a Son admitting he likes Liverpool over Man U.

jill_valentine

Deleted User wrote: »

And with regards the Gay pubs , yes they do discriminate as my mate works on the door and he is told to look out for straight male groups and not to let them in.
Dont forget you have "Gay friendly" B&B's, Gay Sauna's, Gay bars, Gay cruises, Gay forums Gay radio Gay TV, to go along with the Gay marches. Until all thats gone and the gay community is scrapped there will always be some sort of discrimination.

You don't need straight pubs because, let's face it, when you go to a pub, it's already a straight pub. Gay people don't have that luxury. They have a couple of spaces reserved for themselves - a grand total of what, four or five gay bars in Dublin city for instance? - and I don't see how anybody can begrudge them that. They're a minority seeking other partners and friends in that minority, and they're not going to find that in Coppers or Madigans. There will always be a need for some kind of gay community nexus, always, for that reason.

Furthermore, even aside from literally violent gay bashing incidents - which are blessedly less common in recent years - it has been an increasingly common occurance for creeps to go to gay bars and hit on lesbians or try to solicit threesomes, and then react very aggressively when rejected. If you think I'm kidding about that, I guarantee you there are other posters here who can provide personal examples. It's douchey and disruptive and I don't see any issue with bar owners taking steps to prevent that happening and protect their patrons from that kind of intimidation or harrassment.

I'm sure plenty of individual straight blokes and girls do indeed go to gay bars with entirely innocent intentions, but plenty more don't and they cause real problems. Why do you think your mate is told to turn away groups of straight males? Why are groups of straight males heading to a gay bar in the first place?

It's no accident that gay bars tend to have better security than any other bar on the same street. They don't stand idle, either.

Colmustard

x

Corkfeen

Deleted User wrote: »

First of all Gay people will be allowed marry its only a matter of time and they have every right to marry and right to fight for it.
Lets face it when Gay people are allowed to marry they are still going to "March" because of "Gay Pride" and the "persecution" they receive. But lets be honest alot of other minority get persecuted more. Its 2012 North siders Fat people and Gingers get persecuted more the gay people.

For the most part in Ireland, persecution doesn't occur anymore (Although a gay teacher could be discriminated against in the education system because of the catholic ethos). But that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of places where people are condemned because they are gay; the middle east - The death penalty, bible belt America - they happily encourage conversion therapy, most of Africa.... And you think fat people and gingers face more persecution?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_by_country_or_territory

Yes, they will continue to march even when they are completely equal but that is simply to appreciate their culture and the struggle that they have gone through to be accepted.

Millicent

Bambi wrote: »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colloquialism. Good chap.

"Full of" is not a colloquialism.

jill_valentine

Corkfeen wrote: »

For the most part in Ireland, persecution doesn't occur anymore (Although a gay teacher could be discriminated against in the education system because of the catholic ethos). But that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of places where people are condemned because they are gay; the middle east - The death penalty, bible belt America - they happily encourage conversion therapy, most of Africa.... And you think fat people and gingers face more persecution?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_by_country_or_territory

You'd be surprised. I know a girl who was disinherited when she came out, and that wasn't as long ago as you'd like to think. People aren't necklaced or lynched or on the news as much, but being gay still comes with serious risks and costs in this country.

Coeurdepirate

Fuinseog wrote: »

its a big move to come out and declare ones gayness openly.
it is a bitter disappointment for most parents-no grandchildren.


its forbidden to say it but homosexuality is not natural no more than if I wanted a civil partnership with a sheep or goat.

It wasn't a bitter disappointment to my parents when I came out and it isn't a disappointment to any loving parent.
So you think that love/lust between two consenting adults is unnatural and therefore should be condemned? What about the computer your using? Is that natural? Are the clothes you're wearing natural?

mikemac1 wrote: »

Did we not have a thread a few weeks ago about Irish men being emotional statues?

Have you ever hugged your Dad or had a serious conversation? I certainly haven't

So he was told the news and continued on making the sandwiches and got general chit chat, what was the lad expecting?

His Dad was never going to sit down and talk heart to heart. If it was other news, like the lad said he had depression he still would have gotten no reaction

This is Ireland, strong and silent is right and talking about issues is a sign of weakness. Just the way

And now the lad has blasted him on youtube

I often hug and have proper conversations with my father. I assumed most did.

Allyall

Thread too long to read through, but in the video, in his version, his dad doesn't "Not accept" his coming out to him. He just deals with it as he knows how. Continues making the sandwich. I'm sorry, but get over it.

He didn't go mental, telling him how he could never love him, would never speak to him again etc.. He asked him "did he want more cheese on his bread"..

As for the not having a lisp... methinks he does. :pac:

randylonghorn

Fuinseog wrote: »

i know several people who would have been anti gay, even hostile, in the nineties and are now gay friendly. whichever way the wind of change doth blow.

why have attitudes suddenly become so tolerant?

Most people grew up.

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Is there an excuse to be clostrophobic?

If homophobic is so called correctly then they can't help being homophobic just like homosexuals can't help being homosexual. So judging homophobia is just as bad.

For most "homophobes" it's not "called correctly". "Homist" would be a more correct term. "Homophobia" was coined in an era when it was far more acceptable to be "homist" and labelling it as a phobia made excuses for it. Unfortunately, the term has never been changed.

Wompa1

Argh ah sure, everybody has something. I'm short and have a baby face. Constantly get crapped on for it. I'm white and employed though so nobody will listen to me whinging..perhaps the greatest discrimination of all :P

The minority I feel the worst for isn't gays, it's gingers. They seem to have got crapped on by society forever and nobody has marches, protests or anything for them and they don't make a big deal about it either, they just get on with it. Great bunch of lads!

bp1989

Wompa1 wrote: »

Argh ah sure, everybody has something. I'm short and have a baby face. Constantly get crapped on for it. I'm white and employed though so nobody will listen to me whinging..perhaps the greatest discrimination of all :P

The minority I feel the worst for isn't gays, it's gingers. They seem to have got crapped on by society forever and nobody has marches, protests or anything for them and they don't make a big deal about it either, they just get on with it. Great bunch of lads!

I'm gay AND ginger. What do I do?!

Wompa1

bp1989 wrote: »

I'm gay AND ginger. What do I do?!

At least you have the gay thing going for you. Sorry about the whole being Ginger thing. Much love!

Galwayguy35

Millicent wrote: »

Did you even watch the video? (I have the strong suspicion you didn't.)

I did.

Dyr

Millicent wrote: »

Bambi wrote: »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colloquialism. Good chap.

"Full of" is not a colloquialism.

Ooooh yes it is

Colmustard

randylonghorn wrote: »

Most people grew up.

For most "homophobes" it's not "called correctly". "Homist" would be a more correct term. "Homophobia" was coined in an era when it was far more acceptable to be "homist" and labelling it as a phobia made excuses for it. Unfortunately, the term has never been changed.

A phobia is an irrational internal fear. You are not born with them but develop them. You cannot be born with a fear of rabbits (Leporiphobia) or the number 13 (Triskaidekaphobia), you develop them through personal experience and cultural influences.

So homophobia is not any different, its an internally driven irrational fear driven by personal experience or cultural. It is not a natural part of the make up of man. I find the most acute homophobes are afraid of their own sexuality and that includes the catholic church.

Colmustard

bp1989 wrote: »

I'm gay AND ginger. What do I do?!

Enjoy your hotness.

Duggy747

I once heard that if a gay bites you, you turn into a spider and drink the souls of children.

mikemac1

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

I often hug and have proper conversations with my father. I assumed most did.

Definitely not, not in this country

jill_valentine

jill_valentine wrote: »

You don't need straight pubs because, let's face it, when you go to a pub, it's already a straight pub. Gay people don't have that luxury. They have a couple of spaces reserved for themselves - a grand total of what, four or five gay bars in Dublin city for instance? - and I don't see how anybody can begrudge them that. They're a minority seeking other partners and friends in that minority, and they're not going to find that in Coppers or Madigans. There will always be a need for some kind of gay community nexus, always, for that reason.

Furthermore, even aside from literally violent gay bashing incidents - which are blessedly less common in recent years - it has been an increasingly common occurance for creeps to go to gay bars and hit on lesbians or try to solicit threesomes, and then react very aggressively when rejected. If you think I'm kidding about that, I guarantee you there are other posters here who can provide personal examples. It's douchey and disruptive and I don't see any issue with bar owners taking steps to prevent that happening and protect their patrons from that kind of intimidation or harrassment.

I'm sure plenty of individual straight blokes and girls do indeed go to gay bars with entirely innocent intentions, but plenty more don't and they cause real problems. Why do you think your mate is told to turn away groups of straight males? Why are groups of straight males heading to a gay bar in the first place?

It's no accident that gay bars tend to have better security than any other bar on the same street. They don't stand idle, either.

Classing Bars as straight bars. You know you dont have sex in these bars ? ?

The trouble is caused by the straight guy/creep that goes into the bar harassing lesbians. So what your saying is, this does not happen to girls in normal bars ??