Ridiculous Workplace Rules, Policies, Requests, PC, Initiatives, etc.

Martyn1989

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Oh my god and this one gained a management position and has no idea what a coeliac is. That's the American education system for you, another child left behind. Excellent post, got a good laugh!

In what class did you learn what a coeliac was? Biology? Home Ec? Maybe some college course that had a nutrition module in it?

Not everyone takes these subjects.

Why managing a call centre and knowing what a coeliac is has to do with eachother is beyond me.

Squ

My wifes office doesnt allow oranges..

A pharma plant got.in Johnny Logan to launch their new policy of holding the handrail when using a stairs..

seantorious

Martyn1989 wrote: »

In what class did you learn what a coeliac was? Biology? Home Ec? Maybe some college course that had a nutrition module in it?

Not everyone takes these subjects.

Why managing a call centre and knowing what a coeliac is has to do with eachother is beyond me.

My 60 year old mother who still believes in the 7th son of the 7th son knows what coeliacs disease is.
If you don't know what something is you politely ask what it is. Not assume its something negative and put on a intimidating voice.

Wompa1

seantorious wrote: »

My 60 year old mother who still believes in the 7th son of the 7th son knows what coeliacs disease is.
If you don't know what something is you politely ask what it is. Not assume its something negative and put on a intimidating voice.

Ever think maybe she did know what a coeliac is or maybe she didn't, but either way, ever think she misheard you COEliAC in an Irish accent can sound like Catholic. Maybe she thought he said Catholic and that somehow it was against his religous beliefs. I don't know a whole lot about other religions. I only know about Coeliacs disease because I know a couple of people who had it but from what I was told (which could be BS) Ireland has a high rate of the disease as we do with some other diseases that also aren't as prevelent per capita in the US..just sayin'

opinion guy

seantorious wrote: »

My 60 year old mother who still believes in the 7th son of the 7th son knows what coeliacs disease is.
If you don't know what something is you politely ask what it is. Not assume its something negative and put on a intimidating voice.

Celiac disease is more common in Ireland than anywhere else - inclduing America. Why should every American know what it is ?

Grayson

I worked in Dunnes for a week. I went through the induction training. In their induction manual it says it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.

God I hated that place.

mathepac

Grayson wrote: »

... In their induction manual it says it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. ...

Interesting. My personal trainer tells me I have a very strong face.

Inventive User Name

Had to do a mandatory online Health and Safety course which included a chapter on how to hold and operate a computer mouse properly, so as to prevent ligament damage.

Duggy747

Worked in a county council where an aul wagon had a pure hatred for radios or anything sound-related. She went out of her way to write up a policy that radio's or any sounds were not allowed in an office, she was like a character from Footloose who would ban music.

Before the policy, the unwritten rule was that the staff would hide them around their desks and have the volume really low, as she had a serious vendetta against them and would take them like some strict teacher.

When I was fixing a machine in one of the offices she came in, stood there looking at me and then went searching for the radio with a look of disgust on her face, unplugged it and took it away.

Since 3 of us were the IT team and away from everyone we played the radio out from our machines, refusing point blankly to turn it off when asked. Feckin' comms room beside us drowned out the radio anyways but we did it to rile her up.

Grayson

Inventive User Name wrote: »

Had to do a mandatory online Health and Safety course which included a chapter on how to hold and operate a computer mouse properly, so as to prevent ligament damage.

I have to do a manual lifting course. I was working in a call centre.

Overthrow

Duggy747 wrote: »

All lights were controlled by sensors, you'd be sitting in the tiny kitchen eating your lunch when after exactly 5 minutes the lights would turn off leaving you to wave your arms manically to activate the sensors again. Annoying as hell having to do that 3 or 4 times everyday on your break.

The mental image of you sad-faced and flailing your arms around in the dark had me cracking up

juan.kerr

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Oh my god and this one gained a management position and has no idea what a coeliac is.

:rolleyes: Yeah, I remember the classes I had where we covered the coeliac like it was yesterday. Wouldn't be my favorite vegetable I must say, but I'd still eat it.

Some people will bash America any chance they get. Pathetic.

Bipolar Joe

You are all making me feel less shItty for being unemployed.

Bipolar Joe

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

You are all making me feel less shItty for being unemployed.

just dont go into the perks thread

Bipolar Joe

bluewolf wrote: »

just dont go into the perks thread

I'm actively avoiding that.

Here's one of my own. First proper job was for Tesco in England, out in the parking lot. They didn't have the money lock they do over here, so people would leave the trolleys where ever they used them last, such as right in the middle of the road. It was my job to put them all back by the door. At the end of the day, they'd all have to be gathered up and left by the front door. No problem, right? Only from nine PM I was alone, a short weakling, lugging about 700 to 800 trolleys along ten at a time because that's how long the collection-cord was. The lot was huge. Torrential rain, snow, sleet, the apocalypse, all of them had to be there for opening next morning, any rogue trolleys were docked 50p each from my measly wage. I was once told to go to the river miles away to get a trolley that was dumped, I go there, it's right in the middle, rusted through and completely useless. I knew that if I didn't bring it with me, I'd be told to go back and get it. So I did, this was really close to closing time. So I get back, the place was closed and basically empty, and I spent the next three or so hours hauling that shit around in the sleet before I decided fuck this, I quit. They should teach kids workers rights in school.

loalae

We're not allowed pens on our desks in my job. I'm really not sure why.

mattjack

Every two years , I had to do a Safe Pass to work in construction... no real problem doing that....but each time myself and my colleagues did it, we always tried to explain to the instructors we were all electricians and if wanted he could skip the electrical part to give himself an easy day.

Did they listen ? did they ****...... Some of us in the class had 20 plus years experience and they still insisted in telling us about the risks of electricity.

Duggy747

Overthrow wrote: »

The mental image of you sad-faced and flailing your arms around in the dark had me cracking up

This was me everyday in that godforsaken kitchen

Solair

Wompa1 wrote: »

Ever think maybe she did know what a coeliac is or maybe she didn't, but either way, ever think she misheard you COEliAC in an Irish accent can sound like Catholic. Maybe she thought he said Catholic and that somehow it was against his religous beliefs. I don't know a whole lot about other religions. I only know about Coeliacs disease because I know a couple of people who had it but from what I was told (which could be BS) Ireland has a high rate of the disease as we do with some other diseases that also aren't as prevelent per capita in the US..just sayin'

No she didn't mishear ... I repeated it several times carefully.. She even went and googled it afterwards.

and yeah Ireland has one (if not the) highest rate of it in the world. It's basically an allergy to gluten that provokes an autoimmune response in your intestine. Your immune system starts to destroy the surface of your intestines and can leave you unable to absorb various nutrients (permanently) if you aren't careful and don't take it seriously.

There is a very high representation of celiacs in the Irish population and also the Basque Country. It's just a genetically inherited inability to deal with gluten.

Annasopra

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

That reminds me.
During an induction day I was told that in the event of a fire to hit the alarm button if possible but that the priority was to get the staff (about 3 of us) out and to the meeting point. Then call 999.

I asked should we get customers to leave with us or to make sure they're out before we leave.

He shrugged and said, well if you get the staff out that;s all you can do because you don't know who the customers are so can't account for them anyway. Let the fire brigade handle that!

That reminds me

Worked in an office once. It was 2 separate companies in the same building. One of them was telephoned with a bomb scare. They evacuated their offices and never contacted our company.

fasttalkerchat

mango salsa wrote: »

That reminds me

Worked in an office once. It was 2 separate companies in the same building. One of them was telephoned with a bomb scare. They evacuated their offices and never contacted our company.

Something similar happened at a local retail park. Staff from another store came in to say they were evacuating... this store waited to see if the police would tell them they HAD TO leave.

LisaLee

Shryke wrote: »

I swear to God this is true, slashing everyone's hours with the idea that putting people on the bread line would encourage harder work.

Was asked to sign a dodgy backdated contract.

Not being given payslips for weeks and then being given them all at once. The excuse was that they hadn't come down from head office yet.

Reducing staff and hours while expecting twice the workload to be completed. Vague threats of getting other people to do the job if you can't. Being called up to the office and given out to for this type of stuff.

Some people being sent on the same training course more than once while others not at all. If you weren't sent on the course you were probably going to be let go once your contract was up.

Staff were given warnings if they didn't perform well in the mystery shopper. Anyone familiar with retail will know what this is.

Management were encouraged to stab each other in the back to get ahead. The place bred incompetence.

Bringing people in for 4 hour shifts (part of the hour cutting) and expecting miracles.

No training given to new staff or new management. Just told to go to work.

Giving out to night pack staff for not doing enough even though everyone was flat out all night trying to get everything absolutely perfect.

^All the same place. I no longer work there. I have never encountered such incompetence, ignorance and malicious intent before or since.
It's worth pointing out the insane pressure that management would inflict on regular employees. You would think it was Wall Street with millions on the line. Just awful treatment of everyone. It would have been an alright place if not for that.

Wow! Wondering if we've worked in the same place? Sounds suspiciously familiar, the company is rotten to the core!

Shryke

LisaLee wrote: »

Wow! Wondering if we've worked in the same place? Sounds suspiciously familiar, the company is rotten to the core!

Begins with S?

The Idyll Race

LisaLee wrote: »

Wow! Wondering if we've worked in the same place? Sounds suspiciously familiar, the company is rotten to the core!

Mystery Shopping is evil, it inflicts "do you have a loyalty card" bull on the public, or WHSmiths infamous "Do you want a ginormous Galaxy for a pound?"

Cookie_Monster

Not my workplace but several friends get outsourced to an oil company now and then:

Must reverse car into car park spaces, cannot drive in.
Must hold handrails going up stairs
Coffee cups must have lids on at all times and you must use the lift not the stairs if you have one.

The process of making every small trivial risk a big deal so people stop caring when hugely risky stuff like a refinery get messed up, genius.

My place has a rule that the boss decided to formalise two weeks ago, if you are down to work until 5 on Friday, you must have a beer at 430, ridiculous but great

flash1080

We have a person who is employed solely to devise, implement and enforce processes. It's so OTT that most managers ignore the vast majority of paperwork that comes their way, most of it is irrelevant and any forms that need to be filled out as part of it are just blindly-tick-all-boxes-type forms. I've previously worked in a far more heavily-regulated industry (and a significantly larger company), and the amount of paperwork was far less.

kenmc

an old job of mine, one appraisal, my manager mentioned that there had been a complaint against me for trying to round up people to go drinking on Friday evenings. he was very apologetic about telling me, and told me not to worry about it, but that he had to tell me. never did find out who the dry sh1te that complained was ...

fasttalkerchat

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

My place has a rule that the boss decided to formalise two weeks ago, if you are down to work until 5 on Friday, you must have a beer at 430, ridiculous but great

Its great to have such a laid back manager sometimes but I would be afraid to be seen to be drinking in work. If someone keeps a copy of the CCTV you could get an immediate dismissal any time.

JustAThought

Years ago I worked for a big Swedish Multinational; fantastic place ( then ) to work & I loved it. They'd throw great parties , had a really relaxed but progressive management strucutre & had a policy of respect & encouragement for all employees.
Anyways. It was a tall building of 4 or 5 floors & a very young crowd & HR decided to do a health week & along with talks on nutrition,free fitness & yoga classes, & fabulous food ; decided to encourage us all to use the stairs! To help us; they posted a person we were all a but afraid if on the lifts first thing in the morning to " suggest" that we take the stairs. It worked & we got into it ...and started racing up hhe stairs...Q 40-60 people sprint-racing up 5 flight at breakfast & lunch time.... Policy revoked!!!!!.... Be careful what you policy on!!!!!

opinion guy

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

Its great to have such a laid back manager sometimes but I would be afraid to be seen to be drinking in work. If someone keeps a copy of the CCTV you could get an immediate dismissal any time.

On what grounds ? I'm not aware of any law that says you can't drink in the office (so long as you are not driving etc). If you boss tells you to have a beer, you think ok and you do, then they try and fire = unfair dismissal and you can sure the bejeeesus out of them

Theta

opinion guy wrote: »

On what grounds ? I'm not aware of any law that says you can't drink in the office (so long as you are not driving etc). If you boss tells you to have a beer, you think ok and you do, then they try and fire = unfair dismissal and you can sure the bejeeesus out of them

Unless its company policy and then you can be given warnings and then fired.

I moved desk about 30 feet one time and I wasnt allowed carry anything over to my new desk. It had to be crated and moved for me by a removals crew.

opinion guy

Theta wrote: »

Unless its company policy and then you can be given warnings and then fired.

I moved desk about 30 feet one time and I wasnt allowed carry anything over to my new desk. It had to be crated and moved for me by a removals crew.

Well if you were drinking and it was against company policy then both you and your boss would be idiots. And none of us on AH are idiots....right ?

bbam

Our company ha a video made on how to make a cuppa in the canteen. Complete over reaction to some crettin scalding himself while making tea and then reporting it as an accident.
Everyone had to sit through the video and sign off for doing so.
Fecckin waste of time and resources.

Quorum

Matt_Trakker wrote: »

Was told I had to improve my handwriting for the menu board, I told him if that's all he had to complain about his restaurant was doing just grand. Shut him up so it did.

I don't think this is bad, spidery handwriting on menu boards is annoying.

Squ

bbam wrote: »

Our company ha a video made on how to make a cuppa in the canteen. Complete over reaction to some crettin scalding himself while making tea and then reporting it as an accident.
Everyone had to sit through the video and sign off for doing so.
Fecckin waste of time and resources.

An apprentice walked into a hand pallet truck, and chipped a bone in his ankle.

Instead of just telling him to look where he's going, all 500+ staff had to do pallet truck awareness training.

fasttalkerchat

Squ wrote: »

An apprentice walked into a hand pallet truck, and chipped a bone in his ankle.

Instead of just telling him to look where he's going, all 500+ staff had to do pallet truck awareness training.

I clipped my own heel with an electric pallet truck. Was pulling a pallet and slowed down to pick up a lump of wrap and didn't bother to stop the pallet truck moving. It was agony!
A manual one on the other hand... what an idiot!

fasttalkerchat

opinion guy wrote: »

On what grounds ? I'm not aware of any law that says you can't drink in the office (so long as you are not driving etc). If you boss tells you to have a beer, you think ok and you do, then they try and fire = unfair dismissal and you can sure the bejeeesus out of them

I would be surprised if all companies didn't have it written into the rules. In my work its grounds for an immediate dismissal whereas showing up drunk is just a written warning.

Mensch Maschine

Duggy747 wrote: »

Working in Lidl years ago before they cleaned up their act:

Half hour break on a 12 hour shift which you never got the full break for because you'd be called out on the floor mid-way through eating. If you worked 6 hours you weren't allowed a break. If you made a complaint it was easy to boot you and have someone fill your job within 2 days. Litteraly, I worked 2 years in one store and saw about 20 people fired for the most simplistic things only to be replaced almost immediately.

Was told to sort out the rotten fruit and veg, the milk and all of the rubbish gathered up in the warehouse by manager. Didn't mind that until said manager comes in and complains about the state of my shoes after I'm knee deep in rotted rubbish.

If you were ever under on your till, even by €5, it was coming out of your pay. One person was fired for being €30 under.

You had to scan as close to 35 items per minute everyday, if you didn't you got called up in front of the district manager about why you were so slow. It was impossible to keep up as you could only go as fast as the customer would pack their bag. If you ever go into Aldi or Lidl and wonder why the cashier is throwing your stuff at you at a fast pace after they've scanned it and not giving you the chance to put it in your bag, that's the reason.

I was told off by the manager for talking to customers when they'd ask me a question. The rule was you were not allowed to talk about the products, just point them to where they are and get back to work.

There was a stupid rule of having the palettes (toilet paper, lemonade, etc) absolutely perfect against the line of the tiles. The Germans used to come on random inspections and see a palette would be out of place, resulting in someone getting a telling off in the office. Fùckin' problem was that the tiles were laid down crookedly and the palettes were badly built forcing you to lean them up against each other so they wouldn't fall and smash. One of the Germans would actually go around the store with a ruler to see that products were exactly lined up on the shelves.

You also had to unload a full palette in under 15 minutes, a palette that would have various items leaving you to haul the thing across opposite sides of the store.

You weren't allowed more than 1 toilet break a day. If you wanted a 2nd you had better explain yourself ("Um..........I need a shìt!?!" )

We were refused a kettle after the crappy replacement they gave us burnt out after 2 weeks. Exact same thing happened with the microwave after it's replacement never even worked when we got it. We complained all we liked but nothing would happen for a few months. (During which one of the managers bought a kettle and microwave out of his own money for us.)

The store had to be immaculately clean at the end of everyday, which is fine. Only that on the days you'd have to bring the specials out on a Sunday or Wednesday night you frequently would be in there until midnight due to a manager scratching their heads on where everything should go, no extra pay as you stopped being paid at 9pm. Again, if you complained then somebody else on the floor staff would get fired.

Manager's didn't last in there by getting fired on a whim and making staff stab each other in the back at the promise of promotions. One manager was fired for not showing up to a surprise meeting on her day off while another was fired for kicking a football in the warehouse after another manager ratted him out by calling the district manager down to watch the CCTV.

All lights were controlled by sensors, you'd be sitting in the tiny kitchen eating your lunch when after exactly 5 minutes the lights would turn off leaving you to wave your arms manically to activate the sensors again. Annoying as hell having to do that 3 or 4 times everyday on your break.

It was like a fùckin' camp, nobody trusted each other as everybody would rat each other out for the tiniest thing since there were promises of rewards for doing so, created alot of tension in the workplace. I only kept it up as it put me through college but once my final exams were due I just got the hell out of there.

I hear they've come a long way since I quit, which was around the time all these claims about abuse were making it into the news.

Wow, just wow. If I had of known that I would never have shopped there.

summerskin

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

opinion guy wrote: »

On what grounds ? I'm not aware of any law that says you can't drink in the office (so long as you are not driving etc). If you boss tells you to have a beer, you think ok and you do, then they try and fire = unfair dismissal and you can sure the bejeeesus out of them

I would be surprised if all companies didn't have it written into the rules. In my work its grounds for an immediate dismissal whereas showing up drunk is just a written warning.

On Friday afternoons in one of my old jobs we drank a few cans in the office while listening to music and getting head and shoulder massages or relaxing on giant beanbags.

Sounds like you're a little out of touch, perhaps.

token101

Lyaiera wrote: »

It's no longer over the counter. I think the pharmacists have a little leeway over handing it out though.

They just give you a little talk about how addictive it can be and hand it over. I've never had hassle getting it.

suicide_circus

token101 wrote: »

They just give you a little talk about how addictive it can be and hand it over. I've never had hassle getting it.

And then just do a simple cold water extraction of the codeine and get a nice wee buzz on. Amirite?!

opinion guy

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

I would be surprised if all companies didn't have it written into the rules. In my work its grounds for an immediate dismissal whereas showing up drunk is just a written warning.

I'd be VERY suprised if every company had it written in the rules :rolleyes:

Then again I've worked in Germany where you could, and people did, get beer in the canteens at lunch

fasttalkerchat

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

whereas showing up drunk is just a written warning.

If that was actually enforced sure half the country would be fecked on a friday or monday morning. The amount of friday mornings I've been still half cut in work along with half the place.

In reality these rules are made high up and nobody you are going to come into contact with gives a damn about these sort of rules.

They banned drinking where I work only because after a feed of free wine at a christmas party in the office some lad fu**ed the ceo out of it. Before that 10 or 12 of us would often head up to the tea room of a thursday or friday evening and drink a few litres of different spirits between us before heading to the pub. There would be some fairy high up people involved too (which meant nothing would be said) and not just a crowd of young lads.

strong_damo

Being forced to dress up on Halloween so our team could win a prize.

Noo

I had a friend who worked part time in a school, she had shorter and different hours to most of the other women there. During her review she was told that none of the other staff like her because she doesnt make an effort to talk to or have lunch with the girls and was told to make more of an effort so theyll like her, she didnt share the same lunch hours as them ffs! Anyway cue her bursting into tears during the meeting, to their astonishment?

Cookie_Monster

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

Its great to have such a laid back manager sometimes but I would be afraid to be seen to be drinking in work. If someone keeps a copy of the CCTV you could get an immediate dismissal any time.

The boss often grabs a round of beers for meetings after 4 during the week too, we even have a beer fridge out the back which must be kept stocked. And it all comes under 'staff training' from an accounts point of view.
A lot of places in Aus/NZ do it apparently.

fasttalkerchat

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

The boss often grabs a round of beers for meetings after 4 during the week too, we even have a beer fridge out the back which must be kept stocked. And it all comes under 'staff training' from an accounts point of view.
A lot of places in Aus/NZ do it apparently.

Sitting in the car waiting to start work... I really wish I hadn't went on boards to kill time :l

BOF666

I worked in a call centre for an insurance company for about 3 and a half years, it wasn’t too bad when I started but got progressively worse as time went by. Calls holding pretty much all day, and our phones had auto answer, so we always had to be available. Got to the stage where you couldn't get up to make a cup of tea or get a glass of water, you had to ask your supervisor to do it for you!

Got given out to if you were 5 seconds late back from lunch, if you were late going on lunch, or if you took too long on a smoke or toilet break.

Holidays had to be applied for months in advance, and only 3 people (out of a team of 40) could be off on any given day. Used to get interrogated if we called in sick too.

We didn’t deal with customers face to face, but got in trouble if we didn’t have a tie. Couldn’t wear a hoodie if we were cold either.

Then we had weekly, monthly and quarterly meetings with supervisors to discuss targets - we had 2 targets when I started, had about 9 by the time I left, nobody ever hit them all, but even if you managed to hit 8 of them it still wasn’t good enough. And if you protested any of this, you’d get given out to for being negative!

They literally used to bring in something new every month to encourage us or keep up morale, but they had the place looking like a playschool after a while – We got stickers if we did well in call evaluations, used to have raffles for chocolate and stuff, they put colourful ‘motivational’ posters up on the walls and put up balloons any excuse they got.

Worst part was that most of our frustration got taken out on the customers, we’d have to put them on hold for a few minutes just to get some time to ourselves. Then we’d get in trouble, and be on the phone in a bad mood, put customers on hold again… It just kept going on like that. The day I finally left was the happiest day of my life!

Solair

Yeah, I actually think the work practices that go on in many call centres are really quite horrible.

I remember doing summer work in one and the worst aspects were the fact that you were treated like some kind of battery chicken by the management.

Calls came in on auto-answer, and you had no control over them. You just got a beep in your headset and you'd another angry caller on the line. It became quite overwhelming at times.

Then, the control-freak management walking around the floor all the time and listening on on you and being paranoid about time-keeping.

Many of them were also very poorly trained and felt that to motivate they had to criticise. So, even someone who was doing a good job would be found fault with.

You also had absolutely no autonomy whatsoever so if a customer had a problem. You couldn't really solve it or take ownership of it or really do anything. All you could do is pass it up the line by ticking some box in a customer relationship management system. Invariably their problems would never get addressed and they would be back onto the call centre a few days later shouting abuse about how you'd been so unhelpful which would result in a major investigation of why you had provided them with such poor service.

Naturally enough, the call centre operators were always blamed even though the system wouldn't allow them the autonomy to help the customers.

People used to quit without even telling the management that they'd left! It was that bad. They'd just disappear lol

gimli2112

Solair wrote: »

People used to quit without even telling the management that they'd left! It was that bad. They'd just disappear lol

I actually called up on behalf of my sister in law and quit for her 'cos she wanted nothing more to do with them.

It was a call centre down the country for UK based customers of a mobile phone company. Not pleasant.