I just woke up and their is a BBW bird in my bed

Jimmy Garlic

What the **** will I do?. She is still asleep at the moment. I vaguely remember talking to her but I don't think we had sexual intercourse as I woke up with my jeans still on. This isn't a situation that I am used to and I seriously need advice on what to do next. I think I was just being friendly and offered her a place to kip for the night. As she is under the duvet I am not sure if she has cloths still on, I only see a pair of shoes on the floor. Should I leave her be and sleep? make her a cup of tea or something maybe?.

actuallylike

Thinly veiled I hooked up last night thread.

Sorry, fatly veiled.

Ghandee

Man up sir.

She was good enough last night, she is good enough this morning!


Have you tried talking to her yet (sober)? She could be one of the nicest girls you ever pulled!

Beauty, skin deep blah blah blah!

MadsL

I only see a pair of shoes on the floor

She got hungry in the night and ate them?

3ndahalfof6

impregnate her, go forth and multiply.

Dangerous Man

Nah - you didn't come here for advice...

3ndahalfof6

Dangerous Man wrote: »

Nah - you didn't come here for advice...

he never came.

Kirby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmgcjRu1s-8

BarackPyjama

Bring her a breakfast roll. She'll like that.

mauzo

No hope now, she won't have sex in the morning....unless you can turn the sun off.

aphex™

Now is the time to give her a list of your stds.

Fratton Fred

Look, all your mates know you took her home. They will take the piss regardless of whether or not you did the bold thing.

You may as well shag her now.

dermiek

Good thinking OP.
Go out, get blind drunk, pick up a fat bird, (if she's very fat, you were probably the first guy to talk to her or show an interest in her in ages so that wasn't hard), then wake up, panic and tell the whole boards community.

Every time you post from now on we'll all think "oh, its Jimmy garlic - the fecking stud"


:pac:

irelandspurs

Kill her

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

I initially thought the title said BMW bird and thought the OP had scored a car showroom model, was pretty impressed


halfway through my coffee now and read the title again. gg OP.

3ndahalfof6

dermiek wrote: »

Good thinking OP.
Go out, get blind drunk, pick up a fat bird, (if she's very fat, you were probably the first guy to talk to her or show an interest in her in ages so that wasn't hard), then wake up, panic and tell the whole boards community.

Every time you post from now on we'll all think "oh, its Jimmy garlic - the fecking stud"


:pac:

I wont.

Pa Dee

Hop up on her there and ride her around the room. Fat cows love the ride !

Armaghmagic

pardon me.....what is BBW?

KTRIC

Armaghmagic wrote: »

pardon me.....what is BBW?

Its what fat chicks call themselves

Pa Dee

Armaghmagic wrote: »

pardon me.....what is BBW?

Biggest Bird in World !

Tombi!

Armaghmagic wrote: »

pardon me.....what is BBW?

Fat woman. Not just overweight or anything. Usually really fat.
Started as a porn thing. After all, fat women weren't happy posing naked unless they're called a big beautiful woman.

BarackPyjama

Big Beautiful Woman... also known as an oxymoron.

castletownman

How'd ya know you didn't ride her just because your still wearing your jeans? You could have in your drunken ways put back on your jeans knowing full well she's a munter and that you were more than likely not going to remember doing it last night anyway.

A drunk mind is a thoughtful one at times. Unless you pull a BBW of course

Dockington

Go for it dude nd njoy. Nothn wrong with a bit of chubby chasing :-).

ringadingding

Wake her gently by fingering her, but remember... Gently

Dockington

Oh and share all the gory details after the act =-O

Grayson

Pics?

3ndahalfof6

if you had a 2x4 strapped to your ass when you woke, she is one happy bunny,

never ever attempt without the 2x4

Festy

Fcuk her jim,every hole is a goal son

mauzo

Dockington wrote: »

Go for it dude nd njoy. Nothn wrong with a bit of chubby chasing :-).

Wouldn't say there's much chasing going on in fairness....

Armaghmagic

thanks for explaining, I should have known what it meant. I once ended up with a girl who's nickname was Shamoo!

Her weight in stone was the same as her age in years.....and she was no child!

aodhan2

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

What the **** will I do?. She is still asleep at the moment. I vaguely remember talking to her but I don't think we had sexual intercourse as I woke up with my jeans still on. This isn't a situation that I am used to and I seriously need advice on what to do next. I think I was just being friendly and offered her a place to kip for the night. As she is under the duvet I am not sure if she has cloths still on, I only see a pair of shoes on the floor. Should I leave her be and sleep? make her a cup of tea or something maybe?.

Possibly a thread and night you will regret starting in a few hours ! The internet never forgets jimmy garlic !

3ndahalfof6

FOOK, did you check for a pulse.

i thought you meant an actual bird

BarackPyjama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmrABU9qDdk

Ghandee

BBW girls ftw.

I'm sure I'm not the only bloke here that found Jane from the inbetweeners movie sexy as phuck!


Sexier than the skinny yoke she walked around with anyway.



http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrn44yznaY1qeq9aw.jpg

Duggy747

You've gone this far so you might as well man up, see it through and make her a cup of tea when she wakes up

Or you could leave a trail of jelly beans leading from the bed to outside the door, hoping she'll follow it which will allow you to close and lock the door behind her.

Super-Rush

Lot of real classy people in this thread.

blacklilly

She's probably pretending to be asleep and thinking.....what was she doing going home with you, how her standards have slipped and how small your penis is.