How much to give at a wedding

jclally

What do people think is the right amount to put in a wedding card?

I always used to give €200. We had three weddings in four weeks last year so cash was tight; the first two got €150. The third got €100 and I was really embarrassed giving it, though my girlfriend said it was plenty.

What would / do you give?

mauzo

I really need to get married! Cha Ching!

Colmustard

Nothing

Do what I do, just get a gift card and write on it "to "said couple" best wishes Colmustard" then they just think the present was lost or what someone else got them. It works a treat.

havent been to many, one family one where i was doing the music so that was mine
100 would be more than enough imo though, not a chance i'd think of 200
and if you cant afford it, less

PK2008

jclally wrote: »

What do people think is the right amount to put in a wedding card?

I always used to give €200. We had three weddings in four weeks last year so cash was tight; the first two got €150. The third got €100 and I was really embarrassed giving it, though my girlfriend said it was plenty.

What would / do you give?

100 bucks....Your GF is right; marry her......

....and then give her €50

Talib Fiasco

100-150 is more than enough. I'm not old enough to have to give serious presents at weddings but the parents would normally give 100-150 plus some sort of gift that they'd need in the future for their house or whatever.

Teyla Emmagan

€100 tops per person. I'm veering more towards €75 myself these days.

Weddings are a pain in the ar&e.

Balmed Out

Different areas of the country seem to do different things. I normally give 200 for a wedding invited as a couple but you dont have to. I doubt there's many who would expect it from everyone. People know that many cant affoard it. I got married recently and most gave 150 to 200 but there were plenty who gave 50 for a couple too and one couple who couldnt even make it gave 300. I wouldnt think anything of someone not giving x amount of money, a card is plenty if thats all you can afford.

They are inviting you because they want you to be a part of their big day, not because they want you to pay for it.

buck65

€200

kylith

About €50.

admiralofthefleet

depends really. some family members gave us 400 while some friends gave us 50 so i think it depends on how close you are to the couple

maddragon

About three fiddy.

le la rat

I normally give wan mirrion dolrars

Loads and loads on this in the wedding forum, but basically it comes down to two things:

1) What you can afford
2) How well you know them

As a couple, myself and the OH give €150, unless it's close family, where we give more.

Grayson

I heard the minimum was the price of the meal plus a little bit. So if it's a really swanky place, you're ****ed.

Lumbo

Grayson wrote: »

I heard the minimum was the price of the meal plus a little bit. So if it's a really swanky place, you're ****ed.

The price of the meal doesn't tend to be on the menu.

Melanoma

I gave two friends I introduced together 200 euro as it was like a double gift. This was just me going myself.

More normally I give 100 euro or 100 pound for a wedding in the north.

Recently I am under a lot of financial pressure so considered dropping to 80. I think couples would be annoyed if you did not cover a good percentage of the cost of the meal etc. 50 euro wouldn't but 75 would cover most of the nice stuff like dinner and band.

I think for a couple giving 150 is plenty really and up to 200 euro.

If you are getting a meal and entertainment (church, band, disco) its a good night out so like 50 euro would not really cover it. If I really get stuck I'd just say I can only make the afters and give between 30 and 50.

Worst comes to worst go the the afters and give no gift if you are totally broke as people can understand and just get a euro card in savers. I know if I was getting married I hate to think a mate couldn't come.

Galwayguy35

jclally wrote: »

What do people think is the right amount to put in a wedding card?

I always used to give €200. We had three weddings in four weeks last year so cash was tight; the first two got €150. The third got €100 and I was really embarrassed giving it, though my girlfriend said it was plenty.

What would / do you give?

I give €100 and think that is more than enough, although the last invite I got I gave €50 as I couldn't go and I was invited on the same card that my brother got even though we live a few miles apart.

Super-Rush

200 fcuking euro?

Some of you don't deserve to have money.

loalae

50 euro is fine if that's all you can afford

meoklmrk91

I recently went to the wedding of some good friends, I went on my own and I gave them €100, I think this is a fair amount, maybe if it's a couple an extra €50 is nice. The friends of mine didn't come out with anything after the hotel and other things were paid but they honestly didn't mind, the only thing they were miffed about was the fact that some guests who went to the whole wedding didn't even bother to give them a card nevermind put anything into it, this included some close family members, and there were quite a few. I would guess that there are a few of these at every wedding, so I wouldn't worry too much about not being able to afford the extra few bob.

Personally I would be mortified to go to a wedding empty handed, I understand that not everyone has something to put into a card but at the very least buy a card.

3ndahalfof6

compose a song, tell them this is my special wedding gift to you on this wonderful day, then sing it to them,

now go drink the money you saved.

dr.bollocko

Super-Rush wrote: »

200 fcuking euro?

Some of you don't deserve to have money.

Shut up dude. We could make a fortune off this.


500 euro minimum I reckon.
And if you don't give that then just give them your car.

Red21

The average irish wedding has turned into a kinda sham, if you're young you mightened be aware of this. Firstly from the age of 25-35 is when most people get married, so it stands to reason that for most of us, weddings are very few until you reach the age of 23/24 but when they start coming its like flood.For me the first 3/4 were grand but the novelty wore off pretty quick. How many weddings you have to attend generally depends more on your situation more than your popularity, for example if you work in a factory, play team sports,go out alot and have a large family when it comes to weddings, i'm afraid you're screwed, if your OH is similiar your life is over.
People may say "well you don't have to go" but it ain't always that simple, I've made up excuses for many weddings and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. The thing is, if you're invited to a workmates wedding and don't go, its not the end of the world but it can always a be a bit awkard afterwards, so I usually end up going and pretending to have a good time but really it pains me to spend so much money on such a load of sh#t.
I reckon the whole thing is a complete sham, usually the Bride and groom are such non-practicing catholic's that they shouldn't even be considered catholic. Then the rest of the day is just one big competition.Who's wedding is the best whos is most unique, and none of them are unique.Its a wedding why the hell do you want it to be unique?
The answer is, this is the very competition that goes on at these things.
Whos paying for this big competition, all those lucky enough to get an invite.
As for wedding gifts, you had little or no choice in that matter whatsoever in the past you put 100euro into the card if you're single and 200 euro for a couple, this was such the norm that not doing so would be like not having food at wedding reception, I must have been to 40+ weddings (:o:o:o yes I am that weak) it was always the same but thankfully the situation is changing.
Of course I don't agree with this, but what can you do.
It's like this, when im at a wedding I don't sit at the table complaining about expenses and what not, I smile and act like im having a ball. So when the bride comes round and says "hows it going" I say "wounderful great, i'm having a ball." But do you really think i had any choice in the matter? I mean what was I supposed to say, tell her the truth!
So im sure they are people who genuinely enjoy the day, you also gotta except from reading this thread and other threads about irish weddings they're also those who don't. It really annoys me when people say about their own wedding, something daft like "everyone enjoyed the day" you don't really know that. From the time the invite came in the post they're hands were tied when it came to: going to the wedding,putting money in the card and when asked if the enjoyed the day.
Simple solution to all this either go back to buying simple wedding gifts of cut down on the money that is being put into the wedding cards if we stop the money-train people we have wedding according to their means and i'll have an extra 5/6 weakends a year that i'm Free from this terrible affliction.

3ndahalfof6

Red21 wrote: »

The average irish wedding has turned into a kinda sham, if you're young you mightened be aware of this. Firstly from the age of 25-35 is when most people get married, so it stands to reason that for most of us, weddings are very few until you reach the age of 23/24 but when they start coming its like flood.For me the first 3/4 were grand but the novelty wore off pretty quick. How many weddings you have to attend generally depends more on your situation more than your popularity, for example if you work in a factory, play team sports,go out alot and have a large family when it comes to weddings, i'm afraid you're screwed, if your OH is similiar your life is over.
People may say "well you don't have to go" but it ain't always that simple, I've made up excuses for many weddings and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. The thing is, if you're invited to a workmates wedding and don't go, its not the end of the world but it can always a be a bit awkard afterwards, so I usually end up going and pretending to have a good time but really it pains me to spend so much money on such a load of sh#t.
I reckon the whole thing is a complete sham, usually the Bride and groom are such non-practicing catholic's that they shouldn't even be considered catholic. Then the rest of the day is just one big competition.Who's wedding is the best whos is most unique, and none of them are unique.Its a wedding why the hell do you want it to be unique?
The answer is, this is the very competition that goes on at these things.
Whos paying for this big competition, all those lucky enough to get an invite.
As for wedding gifts, you had little or no choice in that matter whatsoever in the past you put 100euro into the card if you're single and 200 euro for a couple, this was such the norm that not doing so would be like not having food at wedding reception, I must have been to 40+ weddings (:o:o:o yes I am that weak) it was always the same but thankfully the situation is changing.
Of course I don't agree with this, but what can you do.
It's like this, when im at a wedding I don't sit at the table complaining about expenses and what not, I smile and act like im having a ball. So when the bride comes round and says "hows it going" I say "wounderful great, i'm having a ball." But do you really think i had any choice in the matter? I mean what was I supposed to say, tell her the truth!
So im sure they are people who genuinely enjoy the day, you also gotta except from reading this thread and other threads about irish weddings they're also those who don't. It really annoys me when people say about their own wedding, something daft like "everyone enjoyed the day" you don't really know that. From the time the invite came in the post they're hands were tied when it came to: going to the wedding,putting money in the card and when asked if the enjoyed the day.
Simple solution to all this either go back to buying simple wedding gifts of cut down on the money that is being put into the wedding cards if we stop the money-train people we have wedding according to their means and i'll have an extra 5/6 weakends a year that i'm Free from this terrible affliction.

on your first wedding give no present, of course you will become the talk of the town, but the invites will stop.

Grayson

Lumbo wrote: »

The price of the meal doesn't tend to be on the menu.

But you still have an idea. most places are 40-60 per head. swankier places will be up to 100 a head. So when you're giving a gift, it's supposed to be enough to cover the cost of them inviting you, plus a little bit extra so It's actually a gift.

Lia_lia

Are you supposed to give a gift/money if you are attending the afters only?

I have my friend's brother's wedding coming up but only going to the afters. No idea what the done thing is. I haven't been to a wedding since I was 10 years old.

finbarrk

€150 is loads for a couple these days. Even €100 would do some of them depending on how well you know them.

finbarrk

Super-Rush wrote: »

200 fcuking euro?

Some of you don't deserve to have money.

What was the most you got at your wedding?

Red21

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

on your first wedding give no present, of course you will become the talk of the town, but the invites will stop.

Yes something like this is what I shoulda done, but you always think, "ahh sure i've only five or six i've got left to go to thats it they'll be few and far between after that" but the invites just keep coming, far more than people ever realise.
This might sound thinly veiled im so popular..., it's not, when wedding invites for large weddings are being sent out people tend to send them in groups, everyone in the office, everyone in the team, everyone on my shift etc.

Snowie

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Shut up dude. We could make a fortune off this.


500 euro minimum I reckon.
And if you don't give that then just give them your car.

So its true you really are a woman :pac:

kylith

Grayson wrote: »

But you still have an idea. most places are 40-60 per head. swankier places will be up to 100 a head. So when you're giving a gift, it's supposed to be enough to cover the cost of them inviting you, plus a little bit extra so It's actually a gift.

If they can't afford to pay for people they're inviting then they should invite only the amount of people they can afford. I throw a big BBQ for my birthday every year, but I sure as hell don't stand at my door with my hand out for people's contribution to the food bill. Red21, there, has handed out about €4,000 to people at weddings, which is more than enough to pay for one of his own.

Expecting people to pay 'x for the dinner and a bit more' is what has people landing themselves in debt when the expected monetary contributions aren't quite as good as they hoped.

Give what you can afford, people. Don't get carried away with how much you're 'supposed' to give. And if you can't give anything then give your best wishes.

Grayson

kylith wrote: »

If they can't afford to pay for people they're inviting then they should invite only the amount of people they can afford. I throw a big BBQ for my birthday every year, but I sure as hell don't stand at my door with my hand out for people's contribution to the food bill. Red21, there, has handed out about €4,000 to people at weddings, which is more than enough to pay for one of his own.

Expecting people to pay 'x for the dinner and a bit more' is what has people landing themselves in debt when the expected monetary contributions aren't quite as good as they hoped.

Give what you can afford, people. Don't get carried away with how much you're 'supposed' to give. And if you can't give anything then give your best wishes.

I only said it's what I heard. Besides, if you're supposed to give X amount and you know it, you can always refuse to go.

later12

Why do people give money as wedding gifts?

When my brother got married, a it was the first time I realised people actually do this, a lot. I think it's a terrible gift. The bride & groom basically just use it as a deduction from the cost of their wedding, which they were quite happy to pay for anyway.

Don't your parents have any wedding gifts in your house that they like to look back on and say "this was from ______, as a gift for our wedding", with all of the happy memories that go along with that?

Although I'm not a believer in marriage myself, I think that tangible wedding gifts like this actually create warm and lasting memories of what many people would describe as the most important day of their lives. It's only right & proper that the people who are close to you commemorate their participation in this day with a real and meaningful gift, not some bank giro:eek:

Sunnyisland

Col Mustard wrote: »

Nothing

Do what I do, just get a gift card and write on it "to "said couple" best wishes Col Mustard" then they just think the present was lost or what someone else got them. It works a treat.

Why would I write colmustard on my card ;)

We would give about 100 euro to nephews & nieces/friends,More to siblings and my own Children.

Pantsface

later12 wrote: »

Why do people give money as wedding gifts?

When my brother got married, a it was the first time I realised people actually do this, a lot. I think it's a terrible gift. The bride & groom basically just use it as a deduction from the cost of their wedding, which they were quite happy to pay for anyway.

Don't your parents have any wedding gifts in your house that they like to look back on and say "this was from ______, as a gift for our wedding", with all of the happy memories that go along with that?

Although I'm not a believer in marriage myself, I think that tangible wedding gifts like this actually create warm and lasting memories of what many people would describe as the most important day of their lives. It's only right & proper that the people who are close to you commemorate their participation in this day with a real and meaningful gift, not some bank giro:eek:

Give me a bank giro any day over a ceramic dog off Auntie Val

Annasopra

later12 wrote: »

Why do people give money as wedding gifts?

When my brother got married, a it was the first time I realised people actually do this, a lot. I think it's a terrible gift. The bride & groom basically just use it as a deduction from the cost of their wedding, which they were quite happy to pay for anyway.

Don't your parents have any wedding gifts in your house that they like to look back on and say "this was from ______, as a gift for our wedding", with all of the happy memories that go along with that?

Although I'm not a believer in marriage myself, I think that tangible wedding gifts like this actually create warm and lasting memories of what many people would describe as the most important day of their lives. It's only right & proper that the people who are close to you commemorate their participation in this day with a real and meaningful gift, not some bank giro:eek:

I never actually realised until now that people give money so much

Jesus Nut

At least €200 per card this day and age.
a 100 pounds was the norm before the Euro came in I tend to remember.

later12

Pantsface wrote: »

Give me a bank giro any day over a ceramic dog off Auntie Val

Ok not a ceramic dog maybe, but what happened to the notion of it being the thought that counts?

As long as I live I hope I will never give money as a birthday or wedding gift, like some sort of grubby transaction. I think it's lovely to receive a gift that someone has put a lot of thought and enthusiasm into, that is the real mark of friendship.

I would feel a bit friendless if someone I invited to my birthday or wedding responded by going to their cheque-book and filling out a payment to me, as though it was some sort of dispassionate obligation.

If you can't afford an expensive wedding; maybe don't have one, and maybe don't accept monetary gifts. Invite all your friends to celebrate in whatever way you can; you might have a lot more fun, less stress and perhaps even happier, more lasting memories.

mattjack

Colmustard wrote: »

Nothing

Do what I do, just get a gift card and write on it "to "said couple" best wishes Colmustard" then they just think the present was lost or what someone else got them. It works a treat.

Yep .. I do that too, but I tape a torn bit of fancy wedding paper to the envelope and announce loudly that the present must have got separated from the envelope and sure it'll turn up shortly.

On a more serious note , I've a friend getting married for the third time shortly and she's not even 40 years old....should I ask for refund on the other two wedding presents ?

Annasopra

mattjack wrote: »

Yep .. I do that too, but I tape a torn bit of fancy wedding paper to the envelope and announce loudly that the present must have got separated from the envelope and sure it'll turn up shortly.

On a more serious note , I've a friend getting married for the third time shortly and she's not even 40 years old....should I ask for refund on the other two wedding presents ?

If you want to reveal your true cheapskate stinginess then yeah

Annasopra

later12 wrote: »

Ok not a ceramic dog maybe, but what happened to the notion of it being the thought that counts?

As long as I live I hope I will never give money as a birthday or wedding gift, like some sort of grubby transaction. I think it's lovely to receive a gift that someone has put a lot of thought and enthusiasm into, that is the real mark of friendship.

I would feel a bit friendless if someone I invited to my birthday or wedding responded by going to their cheque-book and filling out a payment to me, as though it was some sort of dispassionate obligation.

If you can't afford an expensive wedding; maybe don't have one, and maybe don't accept monetary gifts. Invite all your friends to celebrate in whatever way you can; you might have a lot more fun, less stress and perhaps even happier, more lasting memories.

I agree with this. I think it's much nicer to give gifts and receive gifts.

mattjack

mango salsa wrote: »

If you want to reveal your true cheapskate stinginess then yeah

I was thinking that... so I got mrs Mattlack to ask her the secret to her sucess.

Grayson

later12 wrote: »

Ok not a ceramic dog maybe, but what happened to the notion of it being the thought that counts?

As long as I live I hope I will never give money as a birthday or wedding gift, like some sort of grubby transaction. I think it's lovely to receive a gift that someone has put a lot of thought and enthusiasm into, that is the real mark of friendship.

I would feel a bit friendless if someone I invited to my birthday or wedding responded by going to their cheque-book and filling out a payment to me, as though it was some sort of dispassionate obligation.

If you can't afford an expensive wedding; maybe don't have one, and maybe don't accept monetary gifts. Invite all your friends to celebrate in whatever way you can; you might have a lot more fun, less stress and perhaps even happier, more lasting memories.

when my sister got engaged the number of pointless gifts they got was amazing. Ugly lumps of waterford crystal and newbridge silver and shyte like that.

As for the money, it can cost a fortune to have a wedding. It's not at all unusual for them to cost 30k plus. If you're young and getting married, the gifts of money are contributions to a day you couldn't afford. You might think of it as tacky but you could also consider it everyone chipping in so you can have a marvelous day with everyone there.

having said that, if i get married I'd prefer to leg it off to Vegas.

greenbicycle

kylith wrote: »

Red21, there, has handed out about €4,000 to people at weddings, which is more than enough to pay for one of his own.

Eh more than enough? Not really..... Well, you could i suppose. Would be fairly basic though...

I hate these threads where people Start all this crap about your presence alone should be enough and a card is sufficient as the couple should be happy to see you on the day. Course the couple are delighted you are there but they are putting a lot of effort in to try and make sure you have a good time. That doesnt come cheap! And takes a lot of time and planning! Give them something a bit worthy!

I thought we were doing so well in this thread and everyone was normal but i can see it descending into one that attracts those people who say they expected no presents at all but in secret they are really thinking about how scabby people are....ugh!

Grayson

mattjack wrote: »

Yep .. I do that too, but I tape a torn bit of fancy wedding paper to the envelope and announce loudly that the present must have got separated from the envelope and sure it'll turn up shortly.

On a more serious note , I've a friend getting married for the third time shortly and she's not even 40 years old....should I ask for refund on the other two wedding presents ?

No. But you should probably get her a present with a short lifespan so you can buy the same thing next time.

Haroldinio

I got invited to a wedding and was told by the groom to get something for the new house instead of a cash gift. They ended up with loads of family name plaque mirror things and bed sheets to last a lifetime. I didn't want to go to heatons for a present so i gave them 100e and a card.

mattjack

Grayson wrote: »

No. But you should probably get her a present with a short lifespan so you can buy the same thing next time.

Hmmmm.... a goldfish or a gerbil ?

Grayson

Haroldinio wrote: »

I got invited to a wedding and was told by the groom to get something for the new house instead of a cash gift. They ended up with loads of family name plaque mirror things and bed sheets to last a lifetime. I didn't want to go to heatons for a present so i gave them 100e and a card.

i had a mate who registered with a big shop and made a list. You could buy something off the list and the shop delivered it with a card you signed. I as a poor student at the time so a few of us bought one of the more expensive items by chipping in together. the guy specificly made the list include a load of cheap things so that everyone who was coming would have something in the correct price range.

later12

Grayson wrote: »

As for the money, it can cost a fortune to have a wedding. It's not at all unusual for them to cost 30k plus

It may not be uncommon, but I would suggest that yes, it certainly is unusual.

the gifts of money are contributions to a day you couldn't afford.

I'm not judging anyone who thinks this way, I just don't understand it. If you cannot afford the day, why not do something else equally (or more) fun and memorable with the people who really matter and the money you have?

I find it hard to believe that getting drunk and dancing to Abba hits in the function room of a Celbridge (or wherever) hotel is the most fun that someone could have with their friends and family for €30k, but different strokes for different folks I suppose.

kylith

Grayson wrote: »

I only said it's what I heard. Besides, if you're supposed to give X amount and you know it, you can always refuse to go.

No-one has ever told me that I'm 'supposed' to give a certain amount and I've always assumed that people have asked me to the wedding because they want me there, not solely for my monetary contribution, so I'll continue to give what I can afford and going anyway.

later12 wrote: »

Why do people give money as wedding gifts?

When my brother got married, a it was the first time I realised people actually do this, a lot. I think it's a terrible gift. The bride & groom basically just use it as a deduction from the cost of their wedding, which they were quite happy to pay for anyway.

Don't your parents have any wedding gifts in your house that they like to look back on and say "this was from ______, as a gift for our wedding", with all of the happy memories that go along with that?

Although I'm not a believer in marriage myself, I think that tangible wedding gifts like this actually create warm and lasting memories of what many people would describe as the most important day of their lives. It's only right & proper that the people who are close to you commemorate their participation in this day with a real and meaningful gift, not some bank giro:eek:

I reckon it's because, most people live together before they get married these days, and the giving of presents was previously for the furnishing of their first house. I remember my brother's wedding just as the giving of gifts was on the wane; they got four toasters and some of the most criminally ugly lamps I've ever seen in my life.