How much to give at a wedding

Motorist

Id give 75 euro for someone I didn't really know, 100 to 150 euro (maybe) for a very close friend. I gave around 400 euro before for a sibling, but I dont know if I'd afford that as easily now.

I know people disagree, but I think you should as a minimum cover the cost of your meal. I also think weddings are a complete farce - spending 15-25k on one bloody day. But then again alot of things in life are a farce.

And I think that wedding I went to 2 years ago, with the cheapest ass band in history which were completely out of tune and just god awful (a CD player would have been 10 times better) have ruined the whole concept of weddings forever for me.

Motorist

Cienciano wrote: »

I sort of asked for cash. We put up a list of stuff on a website that people could buy on our honeymoon (segway tours, breakfast in bed, night in a champagne bar etc) with links to a paypal account.
Thing is about presents, you just get shíte. I was living with my wife in an apartment for 6 years. I don't have room for a food warmer, a set of newbridge silver spagetti untensils, 3 ornamental photo frame boxes, and ice cream maker etc. They were 4 presents I can think of that people got for us because they don't believe in giving money, photo frames were the same but from different people. We don't have the room for crap like that which we'll never use.
Back in the old days people moved in together after the wedding, so presents were great. In this day and age most people have been living together for years.

I wouldn't have the neck for that.

Muckit

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Have a BBQ out the back is more likely to be less stressful on bride and groom and guests who are more likely to remember it.

People often forget the logistics of these functions.

• Toileting would be an issue. ... I don't think portaloos would be the thing!
• What about Parking?
• Bar and Drink.... You would have to provide all drink for free or else get a licence...

The reality is once you take out the calculator, it's often much cheaper and convenient to have it in a hotel.

Motorist

I always found the concept of having it abroad a bit self-entitled also. It might work for someone people, but it's a bit much to ask someone to give up a week of their annual leave, pay for flights, the expense of the wedding, etc all so the bride and groom can save a few K.

Muckit

Red21 wrote: »

Your average couple thinks nothing of putting up 25 grand for their wedding

very hard to get married and spend less than €20,000 having a modest 120 guests.

Motorist

Muckit wrote: »

very hard to get married and spend less than €20,000 having a modest 120 guests.

I'd say you'd get it cheaper than that now with hotels doing deals and all. I dont mean some $hit hole off a motorway either.

Cienciano

Motorist wrote: »

I wouldn't have the neck for that.

For a wedding list? Enjoy your 50 toasters that you're going to get at your wedding!

Millicent

Muckit wrote: »

very hard to get married and spend less than €20,000 having a modest 120 guests.

120 guests is modest?! :eek:

Muckit

Motorist wrote: »

I'd say you'd get it cheaper than that now with hotels doing deals and all. I dont mean some $hit hole off a motorway either.

I thought that too until I started organising my own :rolleyes:

MagicMarker

I give them the pleasure of my presence, they can fúck right off if they think they'll get anything else.

Jame Gumb

Cienciano wrote: »

Motorist wrote: »

I wouldn't have the neck for that.

For a wedding list? Enjoy your 50 toasters that you're going to get at your wedding!

We'd 180 guests at our wedding and no wedding list. Nobody asked us what we wanted other than one person who called me. A few people called our mothers and they just said "well they have pretty much everything".

We got less than 10 non cash gifts.

Miss Lockhart

Muckit wrote: »

very hard to get married and spend less than €20,000 having a modest 120 guests.

Perhaps, but it's entirely the couple's choice to spend that and they have no business expecting guests to cover their costs.

My close friend had 150 guests in a lovely hotel and kept it under €10,000. It can be done.

Ned_led16

I was asked for money or art as a student.. lol ..

The brides folks are supposed to pay for it arent they?? since when did folks decide in this country that you had to give 100 euro.... when did that happen ... what year was it... i must have been to young to realise. next we will be asking the kids for 500 euro each
Id like to see a free bar at a wedding tbh....


Lets remember who is the main beneficary for all this laughable nonsense..... THE HOTELS!!!! CUT THEM OUT...... and if you get married pay for it yourself you cheap f****

Melanoma

summerskin wrote: »

Went to a wedding this week, me, wife and two kids, present was €100 from us. Wedding was English friends getting married over here so it was seen as more than enough as usually in England we give £50 per family.

Don't get all this paying for your meal nonsense. If someone invites you it's up to them to pay! I don't invite someone for dinner and ask them to pay!

Thankfully things are different in England, a wedding is a fun day, not something to bankrupt the couple and even the guests!

Very sensible, the English have a great sense of fairness sometimes.

Muckit

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

My close friend had 150 guests in a lovely hotel and kept it under €10,000. It can be done.

rubbish

Miss Lockhart

Muckit wrote: »

rubbish

Believe whatever you want to believe and spend whatever you want to spend. Makes no odds to me.

Motorist

Should just do what Sean Quinn's daughter did - charge a 200k wedding to the family business, and then have the neck later on to try and claim the VAT back by claiming the wedding is a "marketing event" for the hotel. Of course neck like that could only be one of the Quinns and a solicitor, Stephen Kelly, she was marrying.

Cienciano

Lots of ways of making it cheaper. Get married outside Ireland is one way :pac:

marshbaboon

My family doesn't do money in cards or expensive presents.

Getting a wedding invitation is bad enough already, it's like getting a bill.

We tend to do meaningful things to show we actually care about eachother, rather than throwing money around.

Red21

Ned_led16 wrote: »

The brides folks are supposed to pay for it arent they??
Id like to see a free bar at a wedding tbh....

Exactly, you're also entitled to a farm of land, be sure not to sign anything til it's handed over.

Motorist

marshbaboon wrote: »

My family doesn't do money in cards or expensive presents.

Getting a wedding invitation is bad enough already, it's like getting a bill.

We tend to do meaningful things to show we actually care about eachother, rather than throwing money around.

One of my friends got a brown plate for her wedding from one of her best friends and her boyfriend. It wasn't a fancy plate or anything..

coolgal52

We always give 200 euro as a couple, if it is family or a really good friend would give a bit more.

Jame Gumb

Muckit wrote: »

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

My close friend had 150 guests in a lovely hotel and kept it under €10,000. It can be done.

rubbish

Of course you could.

€66 a head would get you something nice in this day and age.

lab man

Hi, i used to give 200 but now give 100/150 depends o situ, the best wedding i was at was a girl an fella that were sound out! they had their reception at the local community centre for about 2k there was a wedding at a hotel the week before it that cost 35k the week before and which wedding were ppl talking about yep you guesed it the cheap homely one for 2k with no pressies

Jame Gumb

lab man wrote: »

Hi, i used to give 200 but now give 100/150 depends o situ, the best wedding i was at was a girl an fella that were sound out! they had their reception at the local community centre for about 2k there was a wedding at a hotel the week before it that cost 35k the week before and which wedding were ppl talking about yep you guesed it the cheap homely one for 2k with no pressies

Why were there no pressies?

stepbar

I gave 75eur (me fein) at the last wedding I was at... And they are good friends. I couldn't really justify stretching much further.

stepbar

Motorist wrote: »

Should just do what Sean Quinn's daughter did - charge a 200k wedding to the family business, and then have the neck later on to try and claim the VAT back by claiming the wedding is a "marketing event" for the hotel. Of course neck like that could only be one of the Quinns and a solicitor, Stephen Kelly, she was marrying.

I wonder who paid for the son to get married???.... The Ritz Carlton in Powerscourt was fully booked out for 2 nights (the Quinns paid for the guests to stay on site).

mrsdewinter

Motorist wrote: »

marshbaboon wrote: »

My family doesn't do money in cards or expensive presents.

Getting a wedding invitation is bad enough already, it's like getting a bill.

We tend to do meaningful things to show we actually care about eachother, rather than throwing money around.

One of my friends got a brown plate for her wedding from one of her best friends and her boyfriend. It wasn't a fancy plate or anything..

A brown plate? That's hilarious...
If I'm going to a wedding solo, I'll give e100. Maybe it's a hangover from the boom but I feel I have to make some contribution towards the cost.

Motorist

stepbar wrote: »

I wonder who paid for the son to get married???.... The Ritz Carlton in Powerscourt was fully booked out for 2 nights (the Quinns paid for the guests to stay on site).

The fact that the Quinn group owed the nationalised Anglo Irish Bank €2.8bn at the time which they still have not paid, did not put a damper on the event. I suppose why would it. Ultimately we are all paying a 2 per cent levy on all insurance premiums for the next 25 years separate from the 2.8 billion of lost tax payers money from debt owed to Anglo - should cover the wedding cost.

Motorist

mrsdewinter wrote: »

A brown plate? That's hilarious...
If I'm going to a wedding solo, I'll give e100. Maybe it's a hangover from the boom but I feel I have to make some contribution towards the cost.

I'd feel the same about contributing toward the cost.

Yes a brown plate, but the giver of the gift got married herself a year later. I think an equally thoughtful gift -a standard knife and fork or set of two knives and two forks from a supermarket - was returned by my friend.

Muckit

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

Believe whatever you want to believe and spend whatever you want to spend. Makes no odds to me.

Wait til Mr. Right comes along and you'I soon see for yourself. It's the small things that add up. I'm including rings and honeymoon in my calculations.

Miss Lockhart

Muckit wrote: »

Wait til Mr. Right comes along and you'I soon see for yourself

How presumptuous of you.

pm1977x

100-300 depending how close I am to them

Muckit

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

How presumptuous of you.

Unlock your heart and you never know your luck

Miss Lockhart

Muckit wrote: »

Unlock your heart and you never know your luck

Again, how presumptuous of you.

JohnMarston

As much as youre comfortable giving

marshbaboon

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

Again, how presumptuous of you.

My brothers wedding was a low key event down at a country hotel. Small group of people. Everyone knew each other, was done for about 6-8k.

One of the best times I've ever had.

If I got married I wouldn't even know where to get 100 people from, nor would I have any desire to invite them. Close friends and family only, it's going to be a meaningful event thx.

Motorist

marshbaboon wrote: »

My brothers wedding was a low key event down at a country hotel. Small group of people. Everyone knew each other, was done for about 6-8k.

One of the best times I've ever had.

If I got married I wouldn't even know where to get 100 people from, nor would I have any desire to invite them. Close friends and family only, it's going to be a meaningful event thx.

How low key is low key? Did he have a band, photographer, all that stuff?

Melanoma

I talked to some girls that said paying 2000 for flowers for the wedding was normal. So if you divide by 200 people that means everyone would pay 10 euro for f flowers that nobody really gives s about. Bridzilla gone mad!

Millicent

Millicent wrote: »

120 guests is modest?! :eek:

For fecks sake 120 people is nothing, if i were to be inviting people tomorrow id have 60 people between family and neighbors and add at the very least another 40 between friends and their partners. Then you have the whole other side of the wedding to add too.

cloud493

Hang about, so say you have... 30 people come to your wedding, small number relatively. They all give 200 quid. You get......
6 Grand :eek:

Kirby

Divorced a week later, and on to the next wife.

Average 4 weddings a year with different social circles and boom. Easy living

There's a movie in there somewhere........

djflawless

8 quid toaster from argos usually does the trick...
But on a serious note.usually me and the oh give 50 notes and some fancy glass/cutlery or something along the lines

JupiterKid

A very close mate of mine is getting married next week and I have made their wedding present - a set of ceramic vases in a modernist style and they have already received the first one and are really pleased by it. It's something a little different and thoughtful. :-)

In the past I've usually given about €100 in the form of cash or preferably a gift voucher but the idea of the wedding couple expecting gifts from guests to cover the costs of the dinner is outrageous. Weddings in Ireland are very extravagant and formulaic and there are too many expectations of the "big day" that it often ends up being both an anticlimax and a financial black hole leaving the newlywed couple deep in debt.

Give what you can afford but by no means should you feel obliged or guilted into giving money to "cover" the cost of the meal/reception.

Melanoma

Do you ever get annoyed by little things like chocolates on tables or other items costing so much that it makes your "present" seem meaningless?

LaVail

I usually give the price of the dinner...50 quid is plenty in these times as far as I can see.

Napper Hawkins

How much to give at a wedding? Nothing, other than your presence and acknowledgement of the farce you've been roped into. Good luck with that by the way.

mikemac1

An invite to a wedding is like a letter from the Revenue

Greentopia

How much? not a penny. If anyone stipulated they wanted cash from me if I was invited to their wedding instead of an optional discreet gift they could take a hike. I was brought up to regard it as vulgar and declasse to ask for money at weddings and besides which it puts too much pressure on people to give a certain amount. I think it's especially wrong to expect it of those who can't afford to give it. Weddings are expensive enough to attend without having to fork out extra money on top of everything else.

And yes if I ever get married I will stipulate I don't want cash either and would tell guests that if they want to give a small gift they're welcome to do so but I would emphasise the small and inexpensive bit and that it's entirely voluntary.

Ned_led16

Greentopia wrote: »

How much? not a penny. If anyone stipulated they wanted cash from me if I was invited to their wedding instead of an optional discreet gift they could take a hike. I was brought up to regard it as vulgar and declasse to ask for money at weddings and besides which it puts too much pressure on people to give a certain amount. I think it's especially wrong to expect it of those who can't afford to give it. Weddings are expensive enough to attend without having to fork out extra money on top of everything else.

And yes if I ever get married I will stipulate I don't want cash either and would tell guests that if they want to give a small gift they're welcome to do so but I would emphasise the small and inexpensive bit and that it's entirely voluntary.

Well fekin said - u get married u pay for it!!