You know you're a two bob team when...

recylingbin

1: You sign a player that is winding up his career and install him as captain for his first competitive start.
2: You're sponsored ny a local business.
3: You're record signing came from Scotland.


tbc...

BOHtox

15 players all on one month deals

CSF

Such is life outside the glitz and glamour of the Premier Leagues. Such clubs are to be embraced, not laughed at.

Paully D

You get relegated with a record low points total, come back up after a season and break said record again.

Those were dark days!

MrStuffins

The_Kew_Tour wrote: »

Your ****

You know you're a two bob team when you're my sh*t?

Richard Hillman

Your chairman is mates with Kia Joorabchian and you get Mark Hughes in as manager.

Your greatest success of recent years is a UEFA Cup/Europa League run

mike65

You are always last on MOTD.

Chancer3001

You dont even get called out on the results on the radio.

NIMAN

You bring in the 'bright young thing' in management, spend £15 million on a new star player, and still get spanked 3-0 by a below average side.

leonidas83

U cant even sell your club after trying for a couple of years but we've sorted our **** out now & heading all the way to the top:pac:

leonidas83

NIMAN wrote: »

You bring in the 'bright young thing' in management, spend £15 million on a new star player, and still get spanked 3-0 by a below average side.

give him time, ive read enough about rodgers and seen enough of Allen to know Liverpool are not as bad as it seems

CSF

mike65 wrote: »

hand clap and smile for special needs NIMAN.

Can you please not use special needs as a mockery for something bad? Its really offensive, not ok, and not even funny as a joke.

Chancer3001

well thats the end of this thread.....

hefferboi

Your team cost two bob..

Al Capwned

When you've two guys called Robert playing......

dahat

Emile Heskey is your main striker...........

oldyouth

When you have to drag some of your U19 players out of a Leaving Cert class so you can put 3 on the bench for an away game

mike65

CSF wrote: »

Can you please not use special needs as a mockery for something bad? Its really offensive, not ok, and not even funny as a joke.

Apologies to all offended, my inner Frankie Boyle is very close to the surface right now.

(someone didn't edit the thread very well)

Optimalprimerib

When the only spectator is asked to fill the left back slot.

Lawrence1895

You get hammered 23:0, but they say in the paper, it was only a 6:1 defeat, because they feel pity with you.

True story, btw...it happened to me when I was playing Under 10, lightyears ago that was

Lamper.sffc

when you constantly sell your best players to

Norwich

Roger Sterling

When Joe Cole is the best you can spring from the bench to chase a game.
#bitchtits

Mr. Guappa

Your manager gives sideline interviews mid-match.

fergiesfolly

You need an Arab or a Russian to balance the books.

xerces

Lars1916 wrote: »

You get hammered 23:0, but they say in the paper, it was only a 6:1 defeat, because they feel pity with you.

True story, btw...it happened to me when I was playing Under 10, lightyears ago that was

Ahh the days of double and triple hat-tricks, good times .

Chancer3001

when your manager is also the chairman and central midfielder and captain.

pandaboy

When Sam Allardyce is the most eloquent speaker.

martyeds

Your chairman uses Youtube as his main scout!

GLaDOS

Players miss matches because they have to do their leaving cert.

MrStuffins

.... you go to a major competition and the best compliment you get is that your supporters were good natured and constantly drunk!

Lumbo

Every time your 16 year old prodigy kicks the ball into the crowd, the ball isn't returned so you put an ad in the match program telling everyone that this is costing £5000 a year to the club. A few years later you forget to put a contract offer in writing and a player leaves on a free, it possibly costs the club about £4m.

8-10

Lumbo wrote: »

Every time your 16 year old prodigy kicks the ball into the crowd, the ball isn't returned so you put an ad in the match program telling everyone that this is costing £5000 a year to the club. A few years later you forget to put a contract offer in writing and a player leaves on a free, it possibly costs the club about £4m.

Who's this? Sounds mad

Lumbo

8-10 wrote: »

Who's this? Sounds mad

Everton.

Bill Kenright is a special type of chairman.

GT_TDI_150

8-10 wrote: »

Lumbo wrote: »

Every time your 16 year old prodigy kicks the ball into the crowd, the ball isn't returned so you put an ad in the match program telling everyone that this is costing £5000 a year to the club. A few years later you forget to put a contract offer in writing and a player leaves on a free, it possibly costs the club about £4m.

Who's this? Sounds mad

This was dan gosling right?!

oldyouth

Lars1916 wrote: »

You get hammered 23:0, but they say in the paper, it was only a 6:1 defeat, because they feel pity with you.

True story, btw...it happened to me when I was playing Under 10, lightyears ago that was

We've all been there. It was made all the worse when the ref blew for full time 10 minutes in to the 2nd half out of sympathy

Lawrence1895

oldyouth wrote: »

We've all been there. It was made all the worse when the ref blew for full time 10 minutes in to the 2nd half out of sympathy

Didn't happen to me, the ref even added some time in the end, the second half lasted around 3 hours (it felt like that anyway).

premierstone

When your forced to drop 3 divisions, scrape a draw on your debut in said division and alas watch as your former rivals march into the Champions League

Mint Sauce

Sometimes the two bob team is way more exciting to watch than over paid/hyped prima donnas.

D'Agger

NIMAN wrote: »

You bring in the 'bright young thing' in management, spend £15 million on a new star player, and still get spanked 3-0 by a below average side.

Well.....I didn't see this coming

Lawrence1895

PaulieC wrote: »

Well.....I didn't see this coming

I have no clue, which team he is talking about :pac:

cloptrop

When your manager backs you for blatant racism by saying " ah sure thats normal in his country"

gustavo

You don't have Joey Ndo in in your midfield

tolosenc

premierstone wrote: »

When your forced to drop 3 divisions, scrape a draw on your debut in said division and alas watch as your former rivals march into the Champions League

What's it called when your biggest rivals are three tiers above you, but are still a two bob team?

cloptrop

cloptrop wrote: »

When your manager backs you for blatant racism by saying " ah sure thats normal in his country"

When your team has fans like this ^ :pac:

Lawrence1895

rarnes1 wrote: »

When your team has fans like this ^ :pac:

I remember remarks, referring to dairy products, which were not made by supporters of that team in question

cloptrop

When your manager thinks its ok to push the linesman " out of the way "

MrStuffins

This thread had the right idea........... but it's been ruined by unfunny digs at rival clubs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zUWXKThqHw

Dempsey

When you think that you've better off in the 4th tier of football because operating costs are higher at the top

Lawrence1895

Dempsey wrote: »

When you think that you've better off in the 4th tier of football because operating costs are higher at the top

We don't mention any names, part 125

cloptrop

Whenever you draw a prem team in the cup there is a big write up about your star players council flat and nissan micra.

greendom

When your star forward is having most of his wages paid by another, supposedly rival, club.