Baby going to creché

Ellsbells

My heart broke yesterday when I booked DS into a local creche. I know 3 people whose kids are very happy there and the place seems fab but I just dont want to leave him. Its not til November and he will be almost one but I almost cried yesterday when I saw the little coat racks for the other kids there.

I cant afford to stay at home.

How do you cope with leaving your baby everyday when you dont want to.

Hannibal Smith

I'll never forget the first morning of creche...they brought him in the first week as a build up thing, so it was half hour first day, hour second day etc. The first morning it was only a half an hour, they let me stay with him for a few minutes till he settled and oh it was like torture the countdown till I had to leave. But he crawled a way to play with a toy so I left.

The only way I found to cope was simple...the dad dropped him off. The creche is on his route so he brought him. I think if I had to do it I would have been a wreck!

When I got into work I told them not to ask about him lol. I concentrated on my work all day and then raced home to him!

It was awful, but I kept reminding myself that he's safe, happy and being well looked after and eventually I started loving Lu lunch breaks and talking to adults! Lol

JoeyJJ

Us Dads have feelings too

I coincidentally drop both my girls at creche every day and collect every evening, I have a lot of faith in our creche, couldn't imagine if I had a feeling in the back of my mind about the place.

ariana`

The initial separation is hard for both of you, hardest on you, but it will get easier so you have to keep telling yourself that. My "baby" is 2 now and work is the only time i get to go to the toilet unaccompanied, have uninterrupted conversations and finish a cuppa before it goes cold so there are some benefits :rolleyes:. I still miss my toddler but you learn to make the most of mornings/evenings/weekends.

Hannibal Smith

JoeyJJ wrote: »

Us Dads have feelings too

Of course you do. There are still some mornings now when my husband finds it difficult to leave him. Initially the boy used to cling to him and he hated leaving him. Now he wanders into the place without looking back and I'm not sure whether dad hates that more!

mesu

Hi OP
I have to say this was the most difficult thing I've had to do since having a baby. My creche is great and I fully trust them but it kills me to hand her over 5 days a week for such a long day. If your baby will be almost 1 when he starts at least he's mature and strong and probably sturdy in himself.

The other thing with creches is the constant bugs they catch. Unavoidable and it apparently strengthens their immune systems (am really tired of hearing that) but it's very disruptive and really unpleasant for them to be sick so often at such a young age.

As someone else said knowing that they are well looked after and cared for helps a lot. I carry a huge amount of guilt leaving her day in and day out and try to compensate for it at the weekends and in the evenings. If for some reason she is upset when I leave her I still cry but I suppose you just get used to it and accept it, like the baby does.

I'll add that my 19 month year old does enjoy herself in her creche and it's great to see her mixing with others her own age as she has no siblings and also developing relationships with her carers. I love it when I pick her up and she's got paint in her hair and on her clothes and has obviously had a fun filled day with lots of playing and messy stuff that she probably wouldn't get to do at home. She has moved rooms twice and I now have two scrap books full of her 'art' and photos of her with her buddies and little notes on her development which are smashing keepsakes. So there are positives as well as negatives. Very best of luck with it.

wmpdd3

Agree with everything above, my girl is in 3 afternoons a week and i pay for it will all he childrens allowance as she loves it so much. It has made a massive difference to her. I left her a 7months to go back to work and it nearly killed me but by 1 when she started creche i was ready to let her off for the day, she still runs to me afterwards!

3DataModem

Any chance you could look at finances again? Perhaps get rid of a car, or move somewhere cheaper? Staying at home with a kid is a wonderful opportunity.

Moonbeam

I went over every lunch time and stared in to the baby room and this helped me. There was a glass panel that I could look through:)
SHe loved it there and was always way ahead with speech and other things,now I am at home as I have 2 and creche was too expensive.
Could you change to a 3 day week? it makes a huge difference.
You do get used to creche though:)

Ellsbells

We have looked into all angles and it's not feasible. Work won't help either with short weeks.

Diapason

I do the drop-off every morning and can confirm it's no walk-in-the-park for Dads either! Still, while it's not always easy, I know deep down that she gets on really well there, that she gets to socialise with other babies in a way she wouldn't at home, that she's challenged and does activities that we wouldn't have the facilities (or the imagination) for at home, and that, all told there are loads of advantages. Of course it's hard to hand them over, there are mornings when it will break your heart, but for the most part she has a great time in there.

It gets easier, honestly it does.

LegacyUser

Get rid of a car, don't go on holiday, you can afford to stay at home.

Where there's a will, there's a way.

I wouldn't miss these days with my boy for all the money in the world. You never get them back.



PS - there are no advantages to a child picking up bugs and viruses regularly. None at all. That is a myth, and a harmful one at that.

caprilicious

ariana` wrote: »

The initial separation is hard for both of you, hardest on you, but it will get easier so you have to keep telling yourself that. My "baby" is 2 now and work is the only time i get to go to the toilet unaccompanied, have uninterrupted conversations and finish a cuppa before it goes cold so there are some benefits :rolleyes:. I still miss my toddler but you learn to make the most of mornings/evenings/weekends.

Lol I'm nodding in agreement with all of the above! I wont know what to do with myself when I have ONE FULL HOUR to myself for lunch breaks & unaccompanied toilet breaks, the luxury

I found it desperately hard leaving my little girl into nursery when I returned to work.
She was 5 months old & looked so tiny & vulnerable, it was very difficult handing her over to strangers (in the creche) to mind.
However she absolutely loved the nursery, by the time she was 15 months old, herself and another little boy in her class were inseparable little buddies!

I took her out when I was on maternity leave with her brother & had her in creche today to start weaning back in before I return in October.
She absolutely loved it!

The first few days are really hard, but maybe organise a treat for yourselves for the end of that week (family day out?) and focus on that to get you through.

If someone had looked at me sideways I would have run straight out of work my first day, but by the end of that first week (I did a 3 day week the first few weeks) it was much easier.

I'm returning in a few weeks after having no. 2 & have to say I am looking forward to it a bit.
I absolutely love my children & spending time with them. However where I live is very isolated, so I'm looking forward to being in adult company again.

Try not dwell on things too much now, you'll only waste the end of your maternity leave fretting like I did last time.
If you could afford it, could you get him to start a month before you return, maybe just do one day per week or two half days. It'd get him used to it more gradually than the usual nursery weaning period & would get you used to it too?

Hope you enjoy your few months left at home with your little one & that he really loves it when he does start.

pwurple

Start of creche is very hard. I remember I sat outside in the car for her first settling in period... Of one hour. I was expecting them to call me and say she wouldn't settle. But when I went in, she was happily giggling away in a bouncy chair.

She loves creche, and in fairness, has from the start. You can tell when they are nearly jumping out of your arms with excitment. Yes, they can pick up bugs, but they also pick up other good things. Like friends!

There have been two other times it was hard to drop off. Around nine or ten months she got super-clingy, and cried when I dropped her off each day for a week. But I went around to the window and she was happy again as soon as I was out of sight. That happened again at 14 months, but only for two days. She runs in there now, and goes over to all the kids saying their names when she goes in.

Ellsbells

Yep am going to start him in October even a couple of morning per week and I do know he will learn so much more there than I could at home. I just hate to think time will be limited to 5 weeks per year from now on

Little My

I'm a stay at home mum at the moment, not really by choice but because I can't get a job that justifies paying for childcare.

A lot of the replies seem to imply that my baby is missing out by not being in a creche...?

Diapason

I dunno, Littly My. There are advantages to creche, there are disadvantages, but at the end of the day we're all just doing the best we can with the situation we're in. I don't think there's any need to feel bad one way or the other.

ariana`

Ellsbells wrote: »

Yep am going to start him in October even a couple of morning per week and I do know he will learn so much more there than I could at home. I just hate to think time will be limited to 5 weeks per year from now on

Try not to think of it like that. You will still mother your child every day! You'll get up to him when he needs you during the night, you'll get him up and dressed/fed (possibly have play time) before work, you'll collect him and have play time/feeding time/bedtime in the evening. And you have all weekend and bank holidays to do fun stuff together.

As another poster said try not to let these thoughts upset you during your last few weeks off work.

Diapason

Ellsbells wrote: »

Yep am going to start him in October even a couple of morning per week and I do know he will learn so much more there than I could at home. I just hate to think time will be limited to 5 weeks per year from now on

As ariana said, it doesn't really play out like that. I was worried about the same, and in truth I was worried that she'd be happier with the girls in the creche than she was with her Dad, and that she wouldn't know who her parents were and all kinds of things.

In reality we still get to spend loads of time with her, mornings, evenings, weekends, holidays, 3am-5am when she's giddy ( ) and I honestly never feel like I'm missing out that much, and neither does my wife. Plus, she DEFINITELY knows who her parents are!!

I know it's easy to say, but try not to worry too much.

Hannibal Smith

Little My wrote: »

I'm a stay at home mum at the moment, not really by choice but because I can't get a job that justifies paying for childcare.

A lot of the replies seem to imply that my baby is missing out by not being in a creche...?

I'll let you know in about 15 years...my eldest has been going to creche for two years because I went back to work after I had him. I didn't go back after the second so he's never been to creche. So we'll see which one ends up as president!

Ms2011

Little My wrote: »

I'm a stay at home mum at the moment, not really by choice but because I can't get a job that justifies paying for childcare.

A lot of the replies seem to imply that my baby is missing out by not being in a creche...?

I'm also a stay at home mum & feel fortunate to have had the choice.
I do worry though about my son getting adequate socialising as he is an only child & will be for the forseeable future.
I try & balance things though by going to mother & baby groups, swimming, to the local playground etc.
Each parent tries to make their situation work as best they can for the welfare of their child & this is how I find works for me :-)

Moonbeam

Little My wrote: »

I'm a stay at home mum at the moment, not really by choice but because I can't get a job that justifies paying for childcare.

A lot of the replies seem to imply that my baby is missing out by not being in a creche...?

1 of mine did the other did not.
The one that did was speaking,counting and doing everything at a very young age,also she doesn't mind been left for a few hours and has great social skills.
My 2nd is 18 months now and is a bit attached to mammy,can talk but not as well as big sister at the same age .
I will see about putting here in a few mornings a week when new baby comes to give her some fun time away from us!!

ariana`

Little My wrote: »

I'm a stay at home mum at the moment, not really by choice but because I can't get a job that justifies paying for childcare.

A lot of the replies seem to imply that my baby is missing out by not being in a creche...?

The "experts" say little ones don't really socialize until they're 3 and with the ECCE scheme now most kids will do some sort of playschool/montessori/pre-school now at around that age give/take a few months, so i wouldn't worry about your child missing out.

As others have said us mums/dads are all just doing the best we can with our given circumstances.

But having seen how much my son does at Creche if i was now to become a SAHM i would spend some time looking into activities to do with him. He is always coming home for Creche with art work. He also does baking, dressing-up, water-play and so on. Loads of things i wouldn't have the imagination for so i would try to incorporate some of these into the day with him.

buzz_E

i am so worried for my son. He is 3.5years old. Wednesday 29Aug he is starting free-preschool. Problem is even though he is Irish born cause of I am foreigner he can not speak english. He doesnt like to share anything. he had not much friends to play with.

Everyone says kids usually picks up English so quick but from the first day and until he be able to speak or understand English will be so hard time for us/

Ellsbells

Little My wrote: »

A lot of the replies seem to imply that my baby is missing out by not being in a creche...?

No I think they are trying to make me feel better. IMHO the baby at home with me plus a few morning creche for him per week would be my ideal. I can dream.

Ellsbells

buzz_E wrote: »

i am so worried for my son. He is 3.5years old. Wednesday 29Aug he is starting free-preschool. Problem is even though he is Irish born cause of I am foreigner he can not speak english. He doesnt like to share anything. he had not much friends to play with.

Everyone says kids usually picks up English so quick but from the first day and until he be able to speak or understand English will be so hard time for us/

Why did you not teach him English? It will be very hard on him, the teacher and the rest of the class initially but am sure he will catch up quickly.

caprilicious

buzz_E wrote: »

i am so worried for my son. He is 3.5years old. Wednesday 29Aug he is starting free-preschool. Problem is even though he is Irish born cause of I am foreigner he can not speak english. He doesnt like to share anything. he had not much friends to play with.

Everyone says kids usually picks up English so quick but from the first day and until he be able to speak or understand English will be so hard time for us/

It may be a little overwhelming for your son initially as his carers may have difficulty communicating with him at first. Are the preschool aware he has no English or do they employ any staff that speak your language?
Children are very adapt at non verbal communication, hopefully this will help when it comes to play time.

I wouldn't be so worried about the sharing yet, like anything else that is something that is learned & he will learn from example in creche that he has to share.

I would think it extremely important that you start teaching him english asap so you can ensure he is not missing out on interaction with other kids as a result of the language barrier.

buzz_E

Ellsbells wrote: »

Why did you not teach him English? It will be very hard on him, the teacher and the rest of the class initially but am sure he will catch up quickly.

Mother and himself had to go to my origin country for year and a half cause I lost my job .He picked up the mother tongue there. Now they are with me.

caprilicious wrote: »

It may be a little overwhelming for your son initially as his carers may have difficulty communicating with him at first. Are the preschool aware he has no English or do they employ any staff that speak your language?
Children are very adapt at non verbal communication, hopefully this will help when it comes to play time.

I would think it extremely important that you start teaching him english asap so you can ensure he is not missing out on interaction with other kids as a result of the language barrier.

Yes, when i was booking his place in April, i had informed the Crech Owner. He is just okay to take commands "Close the Door, Sit Down, Seat Belt On. Sleep Time.etc. I am also exciting for him he is starting school. The time flies so fast.

caprilicious

That's good that he has at least a basic grasp of some English, that will help a lot.
You're right, the time certainly does fly! Hope he enjoys his new school