Funny/Endearing/Crazy things your Grandparents/Parents got/get up to!

Knex*

Well after a discussion in another thread led to me recounting tales of the troll that was my Grandfather (my father’s side, who incidentally is also an absolute messer) I decided I’d create a quick thread to highlight some of the more memorable things he got up to

Also, it’s his anniversary today so what better way to commemorate him!

Like I mentioned, he was an absolute troll when he wanted to be. For example, he used to always say that he would never go to sleep on an argument, so when he went to bed at night he’d turn to his wife and say, "Apology accepted darling".

Another story that sticks in mind is that when I was born he swiftly turned up to the hospital only to wander around my mother’s ward introducing himself to all the soon to be mothers as their gynecologist. I don’t think my mother ever lived down the shame.

Also, if you were beating him in an argument he would often resort to pulling numerous Stan Laurel faces until you gave up or laughed.

There’s many more I can think of and may add later but I said I’d keep this someway short.

So AH, regale us with some of the finer stories of insanity or downright trollish behavior of either your parents, grandparents, uncles or aunts! Or anyone really for that matter

AnonoBoy

My granddad used to tweet.

In the 1970's.

Hence he got sent to that home.

Biggins

AnonoBoy wrote: »

My granddad used to tweet.

In the 1970's.

Hence he got sent to that home.

Bit of an animal was he?
Barking mad?

4zn76tysfajdxp

Sex. And here I am.

savagecabbages

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mYbLFD_BwE

Glad none of these are my grandmother! (SFW)

brummytom

My nan was once caught driving back up a motorway slip road, having taken the wrong exit.

The police stopped her, told her she was breaking the law. She burst into tears, told them her auntie was ill in hospital and she was trying to get there as quickly as possible. She was given a police escort to the hospital, walked in the entrance, waited for the police to drive off and ran back to the car.

old hippy

My mind boggles when I realise that my grandad was born in the 19th century :eek:

Abi

Your grandad was a right card knex


My paternal grandparents were grand, sound people. My maternal grandmother was mad as a brush. They had money, but for some reason she would nick stuff and played the poor auld lady gig if she was caught. I might add that was rare, she was a pro. I think that she did it because when she was younger her family didn't have money, and was used to living on scraps. So I think that mentality was still there. She acted dumb when she wanted to, but she was cute as a fox at the back of it all. bringing up the fact that she could afford to pay for an item was asking for a bashing, there was no way you could change her.

My grandparents were from different counties, and while they never really followed football per se, they sure as hell would when their counties played against each other. You would NOT want to be in the house during one of those matches..

If the dogs did something they weren't supposed to they'd leg it because she'd be after them with a brush or the poker from the fire. Theres loads of stuff she used to do that would have your mouth left open to see, I'll try think of some more :pac:

My gran used to get into hysterics laughing, remember sitting in the back of her car with my brother and uncle, when she failed to spot a speed ramp and flew over it, my uncle nearly put his head through the roof of the car, of course gran found this so hilarious she was roaring laughing and completely missed the next ramp too.

My grandfather was a moany old bollicks, still is if you can understand what he's on about.

bobin fudge

Abi wrote: »

Your grandad was a right card knex


My paternal grandparents were grand, sound people. My maternal grandmother was mad as a brush. They had money, but for some reason she would nick stuff and played the poor auld lady gig if she was caught. I might add that was rare, she was a pro. I think that she did it because when she was younger her family didn't have money, and was used to living on scraps. So I think that mentality was still there.

eth0

Moved from a country that was doing fairly well in the early 1980's where they had good enough jobs but still didnt enjoy living there to Ireland where it was an absolute struggle to find a few days work. They knew absolutely nobody here but still everything worked out alright for them

mackg

My dad kept all his shenanigans very quiet during his life and the majority only came out at the funeral thanks to a cousin he was good buddies with when he was young.

Once went from Kerry to Cork to buy a car from a guy, spent the day getting up there and decided to seal the deal over a bottle of poteen. That was all good anyway and he hit off for Kerry again once the booze was gone, pissed out of his mind. Got as far as the bridge that leads into his village when he ploughed through the ditch into the river where the car sank to the bottom. He managed to get out and swam to safety before casually walking home as if nothing had happened, only for a cousin seeing the whole thing from the bridge no one would have found out about it.

Another episode in his younger days was when him and a friend of his were given money to go and buy booze for some sort of local social which they did but decided not to come back with said booze instead fecking off with the car full of booze and returning about a week later.

ruthloss

My Grandparents "went up to Dublin on the train for the day" for their Honeymoon.:D

kfallon

My grandfather died when I was 15, he was a very witty and intelligent man, one day he'd be teaching me a rude limerick or poem, the next he'd be explaining algebra to me. He was my last remaining grandparent when he died. My biggest regret was that he passed when I was still a child and I didn't have the opportunity to spend time with him when I became an adult, going to the pub or hearing stories about what he got up to when he was a young fella. In all my years of knowing him I never remember him raising his voice to any of us, an absolute legend of a man and still sorely missed by me 18 years later

castletownman

My paternal grandfather was a farmer and when he'd be working the fields he'd often get my father or uncles to run back to the house, light a cigarette and keep it lit for him. He died when I 2 or 3 so I don't really remember him, except that to me he looked like a giant or something. Massive presence.....

ruthloss

My Great Grandad was involved in the raid on the local RIC barracks during the troubles. They were successful in getting the guns they were after, however the (borrowed car) would'nt start and they had to borrow a donkey and cart to make their getaway., which they did succcessfully.

This and many more great stories related to us kids long into the winter nights long ago.

I'd give anything to have those nights with him back again.

Senna

Both set of Grandparents were fairly sensible honest people, so i have no crazy stories to tell, but my grandfather and grandmother lived beside each other since birth, they were best friends as children and spend the rest of their lives together, when my grandfather passed away it was the first time my grandmother had been without him for as long as she can remember (she passed away 3 years later).

My grandfather was a builder by trade with very little education, but he still successfully diagnosed an eye problem i had that the eye specialist missed during 6 successive appointments.

Great people, its a pity i was so young when they all passed away.

KTRIC

My granddad (dads dad) was awesome. He used to tell use some great stories, a bit like grampa Simpson. Some of them were true (i think ) some very embellished a tad but always had me stuck to the chair.

Miss you granddad

El Guapo!

My grandad is a legend.
Still to this day he tells me all his crazy stories from his army days. Some of them are crackers.
He also used to bring my Ma and her brother to the pictures when they were kids, and he'd make them bunk in by walking in backwards! He has hundreds of crazy stories. You'd never know if they were all true or not but I always love hearing them. Guaranteed a laugh!

admiralofthefleet

my granda used to play with my nana's bingo wings. he thought it was great fun but she hated it:D
they were great, miss them so much

shar01

My granny threw a hatchet at my mam and aunt when they were kids and arguing over The Bunty or The Judy comic. It took a lump out of the sideboard.

My granddad tried fire breathing as a teenager - and burnt his eyebrows off.

MadsL

Maternal Granddad

Machinegunning Germans in the Somme during WW1
Putting out fires as a fireman in Coventry during the Blitz in WW2
Sitting next to furnace blowing glass for 12 hours a day
Teaching me chess at six years of age.

Now that's a Man's Man.

My Paternal Granddad was a miner and his Dad build the anchor chains for Titanic.

OU812

Great grandfather got shot leaving the GPO, bled to death in the doorway of 3 Henry street (meteor shop) where some bastard stole his boots. His first son (my grandfather) was born a week later. His idiot son (my uncle) lost his medal in a game of poker in Belgium in the 70s.

admiralofthefleet

i remember another time my at a family party my they got amourous, the guinness and the gin went to their heads. they were in their 70's ffs

merengueca

My maternal grandparents were brilliant...

Granny used to dress up as the bogeyman for any birthday parties (she was well in her 70's)

Grandad was bald and regularly had little cuts on his where he scratched it, he used to tell us that it was from Granny beating him up so we'd all feel sorry for him. Really used to annoy Granny.

Grandad would sometimes give us a lift to school, used to think it was hilarious to drive into the middle of the playground instead of leaving us in the car park.

Wish I'd known them both as an adult as stories I hear about them are fantastic. I remember Grandads funeral the church was packed with a load of people stood outside. Testament to a gentleman.

Abi

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i remember another time my at a family party my they got amourous, the guinness and the gin went to their heads. they were in their 70's ffs

How far did they get before they were told to knock it off?


I wanna be just like them when I grow up :pac:

xoxyx

My dad's an absolute header. Used to mortify me as a child, but I'm exactly like him now. He had no problem breaking into some Irish dancing when I was a child and we ran into some of my mates, or in ringing my mum's family, putting on a voice, and doing the whole "Do you have any broken biscuits?" routine.

I remember one time we were on holidays and got into a lift with one other guy on it. He asked the fella what his name was, and it was George - an American fella. So, my dad said "My mother, God bless her soul, always told me that one day I would meet an American called George in an elevator." The guy stared at my dad and said "Wow, that's interesting." (Imagine the slightly scared voice.) So my dad said, "And do you know what she told me to do? She told me that I should ask him for money. So... Do you have the loan of a fiver?" All in a real deadpan manner. Poor guy didn't know what to do, and I was just mortified!

Another time, when I was about eight, he had taken myself and my friend to the cinema, and when we were leaving, he took the number of a nearby payphone. He was one of the first people I knew with a mobile phone (one of those massive brick yokes), and we went upstairs to where we could see the payphone and he rang it. When somebody came over and answered, he said that he was from the radio and they were doing a competition to see who had the best dance moves. Actually had the guy doing a dance in the middle of the cinema lobby while holding the payphone to his ear!!

There's millions more if I could think of them. He's a complete legend, and also would do anything for anybody.

twowheelsonly

Maternal Grandmother was a looper when young. Ran arms all over Dublin during the 1916 rising - never got caught - and again during the Civil War when she did get caught. 'Did her whack' in Kilmainham for that and always had great stories to tell. Many of those stories have been corroborated in historical reports of the time.

Went on to marry a 'Landed Protestant Gentleman' from Kerry whose family promptly disowned and dis-inherited him for taking up with a 'Fenian rebel', and one that had been in Prison at that!!

They went on to do well for themselves and had a great life. She ran a local Post office and proudly flew the Tricolour overhead for over 40 years. It was stolen one time and through contacts the culprits were rounded up and delivered to her door, with the flag, where they received the longest history lesson they ever got. They actually became great friends afterwards and one of them went on to serve in Public Office in later life. He spoke at her funeral and fondly remembered her history lesson without ever referring to why he got it in the first place!!

DazMarz

I get my mad, eccentric streak from the father anyway. No denying that. We're also never wrong. Ever...:p

But he had some good stories from his younger day.

When he was about 20 or so (mid-1970's), he bought a new car, a Nissan Sunny. This was a big thing back then (the family was well-enough off back then). Sooooo... the first little excursion in the car was to Aughrim for a GAA game. Plenty of pints imbibed along the way. Coming home, along them horrible, little country roads was a challenge at the best of times. Trying to tune the radio in while buckled made it all the moreso. The end result was the whole passenger side of the car getting run along a stone wall.

Same car, several years later, and the brake fluid reservoir has sprung a leak. Get it mended? Nah, fúck that. Just keep buying bottles of break fluid and keeping topping her up every so often. At one point in this debacle, he was spending more per week on brake fluid than petrol...

This man has also had his photo taken with some very famous people. And on nearly each and every occasion, he has been (and looks it) ripped out of his skull. Photos with famous people includes: Paul McCartney, Barry McGuigan, Muhammad Ali, Kris Kristofferson, Gus Hansen (actually sober in that one), Pat Spillane (practically unconscious in that one, propped up by a girder in the RDS), Mick O'Dwyer (sober) and several others.

He has worked for An Post for nigh on 30 years (or more maybe) and in that time the place has been robbed twice, and both times the bastards got nothing. The second time was simply due to the shatterproof glass of the office holding up against the sledgehammer. But the first time was priceless. The guy came in and roared through the small serving hatch of the office "I'm taking all the money!"
The father responds with "No you're not!" and proceeds to punch the guy square in the face through the serving hatch. Broke the guy's nose and knocked him out. Broke his own finger in the process. Was given a letter and a pen by An Post for valourous efforts.

First time he was in Las Vegas for more than 25 years, he won $22,000 in a tournament in Bellagio. Not a bad little jaunt...

demanufactured

My grandfather was one of the nicest men you'd ever meet...but he was bat**** crazy in the things he's do.
Tried to remove the regulator from a gas cylinder....with a sledgehammer.

He found a 6 ft length of telegraph pole and decided it would make a good piece of firewood.
Didn't bother to chop it up though..just shoved it in to the fire ...picture a length of telegraph pole sticking a few feet out of the fire...covered in creosote...smoke everywhere....ah shure it'll be grand lol.

He found an old microwave and wanted to make a post box out of it....

Best was Years back he decided to build a kitchen extension for the grandmother....
No foundations....blocks laid straight onto a concrete yard



He was a legend...RIP Larry

Intensive Care Bear

I never met any of my grandparents, they were all dead before i was born, in fact i cant ever remember their names. I remember my mum telling me that her dad had a scar/hole in his neck from a bullet wound which he got serving in the British army. Thats all i know about them, i wish i knew more.

retalivity

my grandad toured france in a band towards the end of WWII. going town to town that were all nearly destroyed by the nazis.
also reckons he played with stephane grapelli (django fans will know who that is), but I didn't believe him.

uch

My Grandad fought in the civil war, then got bored after that and went to fight in the Spanish civil war, that was'nt enough so he went and fought in the second world war and the fu*ker surived them all with just one gunshot wound (spanish civil war ) and still managed to have 8 kids,,,, legend!


Oh and then one of his kids had me!! Bummer

discus

My parents have little mannerisms that I genuinely love.

My dad will always give himself the crappest steak/burger/anything of the bunch, the worst spuds and the ****ty veg, and always made sure us kids got the best. He still does it, even now when we're all mid twenties!

My mam loads every text with an assortment of random smilies. Not 'random', but actual random. Picks 4 from her repetoire of about 30. Always makes me smile, her picking which 4 it shall be this time!

What about yous boardsies?

gara

My Dad gives me money any time I'm home -it's so cute! ♥

Threads Merged

Alice1

My Granny was a legend in her day. Seems my grandad (her husband) was involved with the Whiteboys (branch of the Fenians) and was on the run. At the same time, three other men on the run came to my granny's house looking for shelter. Shortly after they arrived, news came that the Black & Tans were searching so granny hid the three men in the loft (attic). When the Black & Tans arrived, she said (truthfully) that she had no idea where her husband was. So the B&T said they would check the attic and granny said "well, you can search where you want, but if you wake the baby in the attic, you'll have to stay and rock him to sleep again. He has me heart broken" ....so they decided against searching the attic. Only granny would have the cheek to stand up to the B&T.
She was one woman who walked to Straide in Co.Mayo to hear Michale Davitt speak - not very interesting till you hear that the preceding Sunday, the priest had spoken out against Davitt and "forbade" any parishioner to go to Straide to hear Davitt speak.

Love this thread

Sleepy

I never knew any of my grandparents which is a great shame. My great-grandmother was released from jail for harbouring IRA men due to herself and the other women trashing the place and the prison guards of the day being too chivalrous to hit women!

My paternal grandfather led an interesting life too, heavily involved with the volunteers and the war of independence, he knew Collins personally, spent time in Kilmainham, suffered gunshot wounds and on retiring from the army as a Captain, he was seconded back to it by the Civil Service as one of Ireland's first military historians. His job was literally to cycle around Ireland with an allowance to be used buying pints for volunteers to document the war! I came across a trunk of his old papers and some of the stories he collected were priceless: flying columns who were given the task of robbing the lead from a local RUC barracks and when they successfully completed their mission and the men stationed in the barracks had been bollocked for allowing such an embarassing thing to happen, promptly went and re-installed the same lead the next night!

Later in life, he was one of the coaches for an all-Ireland winning Kilkenny hurling team.

I'd love to have known the man, though my Dad has only managed to find out his history in the past decade or so: he never talked about his involvement in the war while my father was young and died when Dad was only about 14. Would love to know more about him.

seamus

My maternal granddad was a bloody looper. And not in the fun way, in the "lost his mind" way.

Where I grew up, there was a long green at the front of the estate (i.e. all the houses looked onto this green). At the far side of the green was a series of huge trees separated by thick hedging, about 20 feet high and 10 feet deep, running all the way along the green to either end of the road.
We spent inordinate amounts of time in this hedging, exploring all the various pathways that kids had cut through it over the years and climbing the trees.

When I was quite young, I think about six or seven, I managed to disturb a wasps' nest in the hedge and ended up getting stung all over the place. Running into the house crying, as you do, and my granddad was over for his Sunday dinner. So he gave my brothers a few pound, sent them off to the shops and told them to get some marshmallows.

When they came back, they found my granddad at the hedge, and a big bonfire lighting in the middle of it. He would burn the wasps out, he said. Of course the local kids were all delighted, running around and toasting their marshmallows, but all my Mum could see was the possibility that several hundred metres of hedging (which stretched across multiple estates) would be up in flames.
It didn't, thankfully, though there was a big gaping hole in the middle of hedging for about ten years after that

ElvisChrist6

My grandad was some mad bastard, literally was mental. His kids have so many stories about him....

Sometimes he'd call over his kids when they were young, in a nice friendly voice as if he was going to give them something: "Come here, come here... hold out your hand" and then he'd ash his cigarette into their hands as he had no ashtray!

My mother would be going out as a teenager and he'd look up at her, "Where are you going?"
"Nowhere."
"And don't you forget it!!!"

He was a bastard for being unashamedly nude, even going so far as to go out in the rain completely naked with a bar of soap. As the environment got worse and worse, he'd contemplate the acid rain, saying: "****ing terrible, you can't even have a wash in the rain anymore these days!"

He used to take me down the bookies before he died, when I was about 2-3, and he'd walk down the street with me sat on his shoulders. One day my aunt was walking behind us, though we didn't know this. She noticed people giving us funny looks as they passed and wondered why. When she caught up with us she noticed we were both, though mostly my grandad, making faces at the passers-by.

Very vulgar, was my grandad (who I had affectionately dubbed Boy for a reason no one knows). We'd be sat in the living room, if something funny had caught our eye, we'd both laugh and exclaim "fucking gas!!" He had me saying all sorts, even calling people silly cunts. However, as much as he didn't pay his own kids much attention, he was very good to me!

castletownman

I had a grand-uncle who fought for Germany in World War II. Was a prisoner of war over in England after it where he met my grand-aunt who was a nurse at the time. They moved to Canada but came to visit every couple of years. I only have a vague recollection of them but my father and uncles have regaled us of stories he used to tell them about the war. Of course, as he did his fighting for the "enemy", they were all the more fascinating. He could still do 100 press-ups into his eighties. A remarkable, if somewhat scary man (from what I can remember of him)

DEFTLEFTHAND

My grandmother brought the handset from her cordless landline phone into town thinking it would work as a mobile.

Pensivepuca

My cousin had his wee hamster out in the fenced in garden, inside those exercise balls to run about in. Well, in comes my Granda, and thinking its a normal ball (it was not transparent easy mistake) he gives it one hell of a boot over the fence!! Cousin went after it, poor wee hamster was dead. My granda went and bought him a new one but no one could stop laughing when we seen what happened. I have loads more but thats 1st one comes to mind.

KKkitty

My dad did 3 things I will never forget. He mistook gravy granules for coffee, my hair removal cream for shampoo and my mam's denture fixative cream for toothpaste. He also had a unique way with words. He bumped into a woman he knew while doing the weekly shop with mam and the same woman was on another diet and dad said jaysus you're after putting on some weight. He'd come out with anything to anyone. Really miss those times.

DazMarz

My mother's father was in the Gardaí for years (1944-1982; I think), and for a good stint he was stationed in Louth Village. One of the funniest stories I remember from him was in the dying months of World War II, he was the only Garda serving the village that actually lived there. So this night anyway, he awoken to find the local idiot standing in his front garden, screaming up at him:
"The Germans are attacking us, Garda Durkin! The Germans are attacking!"

My grandfather was going out to try and talk sense into him, but the looney thought that the village Garda was coming down to help fight off the forces of the Third Reich from Louth Village. So he shouts:
"Brilliant! Don't forget to bring your baton!"

He was also a great man for fishing. He loved it. Often went out for long stints, sitting on riverbanks and hoping for that big catch. But one day, he didn't return. My grandmother (alone with her 2 daughters at the time) panicked and managed to get word to the Garda barracks in Dundalk that her husband (now a sergeant in the Gardaí) was missing and had been all day. The Gardaí searched but could find nothing. Then, at about 3 or 4 in the morning, my grandfather returned from fishing, absolutely furious. When my grandmother asked him where he'd been the response was:

"I was trying to catch a fúcking salmon. I had the fúcking thing hooked and I had to wear the bastard out for fúcking hours. I had the bastard reeled in and was about to get him on the bank... when the fúcking line broke and he got away..."

marshbaboon

My relationship with my parents is the same as it was with my grandparents: non-existent.

They probably did loads of cool **** & took loads of drugs, I have no idea.