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I have food posioning god damn it!!!

  • 22-08-2012 12:21pm
    #1
    Temaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,758 ✭✭✭


    Jesus lads, I'm in bits, shivering, shaking along with vomiting.

    Ate some dodgy cheese last night, never again will I eat the stuff.


«1

Comments

  • #2
    frag420
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,158 ✭✭✭frag420


    Drink a pint of vinegar followed by a pint of warm milk, will sort you right out!!


  • #3
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    You can't get food poisoning from cheese.


  • #4
    Temaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,758 ✭✭✭Temaz


    Where To wrote: »
    You can't get food poisoning from cheese.

    Then whats wrong with me!:eek:

    The dreaded 'vomiting bug'??


  • #5
    FatherLen
    Registered Users Posts: 3,808 ✭✭✭FatherLen


    Temaz wrote: »
    Then whats wrong with me!:eek:

    The dreaded 'vomiting bug'??

    it might be too early to tell.


    but it's aids obviously


  • #6
    westies4ever
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,456 ✭✭✭westies4ever


    Where To wrote: »
    You can't get food poisoning from cheese.

    yes you can. google it.


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  • #7
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Temaz wrote: »
    Where To wrote: »
    You can't get food poisoning from cheese.

    Then whats wrong with me!:eek:

    The dreaded 'vomiting bug'??
    Im not a doctor but your posting style has all the hallmarks of rabies.


  • #8
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Temaz wrote: »
    Jesus lads, I'm in bits, shivering, shaking along with vomiting.

    Ate some dodgy cheese last night, never again will I eat the stuff.

    Just wait it it gets to the other end! :o


  • #9
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    westies4ever wrote: »
    Where To wrote: »
    You can't get food poisoning from cheese.

    yes you can. google it.
    Trust me you can't. Im a taxi driver, I know what I'm talking about.


  • #10
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Put a loo roll in the fridge....you'll thank me for this later!


  • #11
    Temaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,758 ✭✭✭Temaz


    Biggins wrote: »
    Just wait it it gets to the other end! :o

    Dreading it!


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  • #12
    westies4ever
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,456 ✭✭✭westies4ever


    Where To wrote: »
    Trust me you can't. Im a taxi driver, I know what I'm talking about.


    Ah - I see; my mistake :o


  • #13
    WIZE
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,597 ✭✭✭WIZE


    Where To wrote: »
    You can't get food poisoning from cheese.



    Yes you can .

    Cheese

    Salmonella was the most common hazard among cheese products, responsible for 83 outbreaks and 2,761 reported illnesses.


    Cheeses are susceptible to contamination because they are made using many steps, including curdling, salting, and processing. Using pasteurized milk that has been heated to kill pathogens has reduced the number of harmful bacteria in cheese.
    The report stressed that certain people, such as pregnant women, should be wary of soft cheeses like brie or camembert because they are more likely to contain the harmful listeria bacteria, which has been linked to miscarriage.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/risky-foods-ice-cream-tuna-cheese-potatoes-greens/story?id=8753705


  • #14
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Biggins wrote: »
    Just wait it it gets to the other end! :o
    Temaz wrote: »
    Dreading it!

    Don't make any solid plans to go anywhere for a while!
    You will have enough solids to deal with at home! ;)


  • #15
    frozenfrozen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,883 ✭✭✭frozenfrozen


    yeah the cheese could have been gone off :pac:


  • #16
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    WIZE wrote: »
    Yes you can .

    Cheese

    Salmonella was the most common hazard among cheese products, responsible for 83 outbreaks and 2,761 reported illnesses.


    Cheeses are susceptible to contamination because they are made using many steps, including curdling, salting, and processing. Using pasteurized milk that has been heated to kill pathogens has reduced the number of harmful bacteria in cheese.
    The report stressed that certain people, such as pregnant women, should be wary of soft cheeses like brie or camembert because they are more likely to contain the harmful listeria bacteria, which has been linked to miscarriage.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/risky-foods-ice-cream-tuna-cheese-potatoes-greens/story?id=8753705

    I call shenanigans unless you can produce a full and up to date Taxi Drivers Licence :pac:


  • #17
    CardBordWindow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,198 ✭✭✭CardBordWindow


    You poor basturd! :D

    I had a dose of campylobacter food poisoning earlier in the year. Not fun! You have my sympathies.


  • #18
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    Temaz wrote: »
    Jesus lads, I'm in bits, shivering, shaking along with vomiting.

    Ate some dodgy cheese last night, never again will I eat the stuff.

    you should have got him to wash it first


  • #19
    Jev/N
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,456 ✭✭✭Jev/N


    Vomiting bug going around at the moment


  • #20
    WIZE
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,597 ✭✭✭WIZE


    kfallon wrote: »
    I call shenanigans unless you can produce a full and up to date Taxi Drivers Licence :pac:


    hot_weird_funny_amazing_cool3_strange-id-cards-lead_2009072603323910536.jpg


  • #21
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    WIZE wrote: »
    Where To wrote: »
    You can't get food poisoning from cheese.



    Yes you can .

    Cheese

    Salmonella was the most common hazard among cheese products, responsible for 83 outbreaks and 2,761 reported illnesses.


    Cheeses are susceptible to contamination because they are made using many steps, including curdling, salting, and processing. Using pasteurized milk that has been heated to kill pathogens has reduced the number of harmful bacteria in cheese.
    The report stressed that certain people, such as pregnant women, should be wary of soft cheeses like brie or camembert because they are more likely to contain the harmful listeria bacteria, which has been linked to miscarriage.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/risky-foods-ice-cream-tuna-cheese-potatoes-greens/story?id=8753705
    That's American cheese though, different animal altogether.

    Ive been giving free medical diagnoses for Yonks and no one has asked for a refund yet.


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  • #22
    marshbaboon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,184 ✭✭✭marshbaboon


    Where To wrote: »
    That's American cheese though, different animal altogether.

    Ive been giving free medical diagnoses for Yonks and no one has asked for a refund yet.

    There have been cases, but it'd be rare enough over here. Everything's pasteurized, innit.


  • #23
    Oink
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 2,159 Mod ✭✭✭✭Oink


    Where To wrote: »
    ...American cheese...

    HA!


    Sorry. Carry on.


  • #24
    Oink
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 2,159 Mod ✭✭✭✭Oink


    Biggins wrote: »
    You will have enough solids to deal with at home! ;)

    yeaaaaah I wouldn't count on solids if youknowharramean.


  • #25
    3ndahalfof6
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭3ndahalfof6


    it is possible you have


  • #26
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Oink wrote: »
    yeaaaaah I wouldn't count on solids if youknowharramean.

    :D

    I do! :D

    Been there! :o


  • #27
    Corvo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,704 ✭✭✭Corvo


    Nice knowing you OP.

    What song would you like at your funeral?

    I recommend the "Crazy Frog".

    Always a winner that one.


  • #28
    Nippledragon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 154 ✭✭Nippledragon


    Best advice I can give is to eat a cup of cornflour - it should thicken your sh1te before your hole explodes. Oh and keep a basin to hand, when you smell it the puking will start again....:eek:


  • #29
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,133 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    The AH medical professionals are available 24/7/365 to attend to all your medical needs, including on the spot diagnoses, and you don't even need to get your kit off (unless you look really attractive and can upload photos for further study).


  • #30
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    Where To wrote: »
    Trust me you can't. Im a taxi driver, I know what I'm talking about.

    Can I get a train from cellbridge to Maynooth?


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  • #31
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    Temaz wrote: »
    Jesus lads, I'm in bits, shivering, shaking along with vomiting.

    Ate some dodgy cheese last night, never again will I eat the stuff.

    Quit being a little girl. Men have lived in the artic and not complained, be grateful that you can communicate with the outside world from a house.


  • #32
    Temaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,758 ✭✭✭Temaz


    Thanks for the replies, I'm a warrior I'll survive this hell!!


  • #33
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    WoollyRedHat wrote: »
    Can I get a train from cellbridge to Maynooth?

    No! But Where To will take you there if you like!


  • #34
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,133 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    WoollyRedHat wrote: »
    Quit being a little girl. Men have lived in the artic and not complained, be grateful that you can communicate with the outside world from a house.

    They only complain if they're caught hiding in the back by immigration at Dover.


  • #35
    marshbaboon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,184 ✭✭✭marshbaboon


    You're probably going to have a serious case of north vs south later on.

    I hope your sink faces the toilet...


  • #36
    kneemos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,464 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    Probiotic yogurt will settle your stomach.


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  • #37
    Funkfield
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,602 ✭✭✭Funkfield


    When the first wave hits make sure you are pointing both ends at something flushable or with a drain. Sink - Toilet is recommended.

    If this has never happened before, brace yourself. It's like stamping on the middle of a raw sausage.........


  • #38
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Funkfield wrote: »
    When the first wave hits make sure you are pointing both ends at something flushable or with a drain. Sink - Toilet is recommended.

    If this has never happened before, brace yourself. It's like stamping on the middle of a raw sausage.........

    ...And don't trust your lower sphincter muscle that it will hold! :pac:


  • #39
    marshbaboon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,184 ✭✭✭marshbaboon


    Biggins wrote: »
    ...And don't trust your lower sphincter muscle that it will hold! :pac:

    It'll eventually give and explode like a power hose :pac:


  • #40
    tony 2 tone
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,749 ✭✭✭tony 2 tone


    Flutt would have loved this thread :(


  • #41
    luckyfrank
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,054 ✭✭✭luckyfrank


    Temaz wrote: »
    Jesus lads, I'm in bits, shivering, shaking along with vomiting.

    Ate some dodgy cheese last night    , never again will I eat the stuff.

    make sure his penis is clean next time then


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  • #42
    joanofarc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 269 ✭✭joanofarc


    marshbaboon wrote: »
    You're probably going to have a serious case of north vs south later on.

    I hope your sink faces the toilet...

    This I get:D Had a bad case of food poisining ( little bit of alcohol involved too )
    years ago while traveling from Austria to Germany on a train :eek: Never was I so happy about cramped conditions, toilet and sink were milometers apart but when you have Deli belly thats exactly where you want them to be :D


  • #43
    Pumpkinseeds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,635 ✭✭✭Pumpkinseeds


    I sympathise with you, I used to get a gastric bug at least once a year every year. I recommend flat 7up. It's easy on the stomach and will give you a bit of energy as well as keeping you hydrated.


  • #44
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Bet the OP's arse looks like an angry dot today :p


  • #45
    Rabidlamb
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,202 ✭✭✭Rabidlamb


    Temaz wrote: »
    Jesus lads, I'm in bits, shivering, shaking along with vomiting.

    Ate some dodgy cheese last night, never again will I eat the stuff.
    FatherLen wrote: »
    it might be too early to tell.


    but it's aids obviously

    Yes, I concur with the diagnosis & not the good kind either like Magic Johnson got, no, more like the Philadelphia variety.
    Speaking of cheese


  • #46
    seven_eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,558 ✭✭✭seven_eleven


    Funkfield wrote: »
    When the first wave hits make sure you are pointing both ends at something flushable or with a drain. Sink - Toilet is recommended.

    If this has never happened before, brace yourself. It's like stamping on the middle of a raw sausage.........

    This! The first time that happened to me I didnt know which way to turn. I was jumping back and forth pointing my arse/mouth into the toilet, you wont be able to hold one :(.

    However I solved the problem some time later. Black bin bags :D


  • #47
    super_furry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,349 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    marshbaboon wrote: »
    You're probably going to have a serious case of north vs south later on.

    I hope your sink faces the toilet...

    All you can do in that situation is to crawl into the bath, run the taps and let nature take it's course.


  • #48
    dr strangelove
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 816 ✭✭✭dr strangelove


    ........and for the next few weeks you'll never know for sure if it's a fart............ until it's too late.


  • #49
    gara
    Closed Accounts Posts: 361 ✭✭gara


    Temaz wrote: »
    I'm a warrior!!

    Does Bill Cullen know you've stolen his bullsh1t?


  • #50
    inforfun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,862 ✭✭✭✭inforfun


    super_furry wrote: »
    All you can do in that situation is to crawl into the bath, run the taps and let nature take it's course.

    And if you need further instructions, just google "tubgirl"

    DON'T


  • #51
    Temaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,758 ✭✭✭Temaz


    Ugghgh today is worse than yesterday.


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