Thursday Funnies

MonkieSocks

Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

But since most of the doctors are now Muslim,

I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!

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Researchers released a list of foods and activities to help combat osteoporosis, the dread disorder that leaches calcium from the bones as people age.

The distinguished lead scientist mounts the podium to make his announcement and gives the highlights of the list.

To no one's surprise, broccoli and cauliflower are there, and the researchers also encourage regular exercise, such as walking, running, cycling or swimming to prevent calcium loss from the bones.

But, one reporter, reading ahead, shouts from the front row, "You've got kissing on the list as a way to prevent osteoporosis! There isn't any calcium in a kiss!"

The scientist replied calmly, "In a good kiss, there's enough calcium to make a bone about 7 inches long."

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Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will.

There's no need to remind him every six months about it.

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''Give it to me!'' she yelled, ''I’m so fuqin wet, give it to me now!''

she could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella.

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"IT’S A BOY" I shouted

"A BOY, I DONT BELIEVE IT ……………..ITS A BOY"

And with tears streaming downs my face I swore


I would never visit another Thai Brothel