Couple More

MonkieSocks

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool.

One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm Phillip, he's Terrance

Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers.

"Been on holiday yet, lads?"

"Off to England next month," says Phillip.

"We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Terrance ?"
Terrance agrees.

"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... The history, the beer, the culture..."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says Phillip. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that’s us, eh Terrance ?

And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude."

"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender. .......Phillip said.....

"It's the only chance Terrance gets to drive."

______________________________

Three aspiring psychiatrists attended their first class on emotional extremes.

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from the University of Boston,

"What is the opposite of Joy?

"Sadness," responded the student.

"And the opposite of depression?" he asked the student from Harvard.

"Elation" was her reply.

"And you, sir," he said to the young man from Texas.

"How about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, that would be giddy-up."