Socially inept people

TeddyTedson

What's with socially inept people? How are they so out touch with the majority of people that they have major difficulties communicating the simplest of things? I'm not talking about quiet or shy people here. But people how might have been in school, college or work with you who nobody could ever get.

I work with someone who is great at their job in a lot of ways and very intelligent. However them being socially inept basically makes them useless if they have to work with someone else together on something.
Their communication skills are utterly dire.

I actually think people like this need to be sent on course on how to work with people. They generally don't lack confidence or anything either in my experiences.
Socialising with them is often full of cringe worthy moments.
Is it nature or nurture?

Where To

What are you trying to say Teddy?

Eden3

World would be a boring place if we were all PERFECT OP!

Person you speak of is doing well in his job regardless ...! He should start a thread "Sociall intolerant people"!

Had to be said....:rolleyes:

conorcan2

There's a chance they have social anxiety/phobia.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

They are all on here!

The King of Moo

Some people simply can't help it.

Some might have had some knockback in their past, recent or distant, which has dented their confidence.

Some might find themselves in a difficult situation, e.g. new job, town etc.

Some grew up in an environment where expression wasn't encouraged, or it was actively stifled.

There's lots of reasons someone might be socially inept. Don't forget, most of them are probably just intimidated by your luxuriant fur.

Shryke

Medical/psychological problem or impairment, developmental issue or illness. Messed up upbringing. Or just the way they are. It's not something to sneer at really, we're all different. Leave off on the special camps courses.

efb

The ironing of this topic on boards is delicious!!!

M cebee

bolox **** off

girl in the striped socks

I prefer so called socially inept people to those who try to be everyone's best friend.
I like people who are a little bit strange tbh.

Shryke

Teddy is the Louis Theroux of Boards.

TeddyTedson

The King of Moo wrote: »

Some people simply can't help it.

Some might have had some knockback in their past, recent or distant, which has dented their confidence.

Some might find themselves in a difficult situation, e.g. new job, town etc.

Some grew up in an environment where expression wasn't encouraged, or it was actively stifled.

There's lots of reasons someone might be socially inept. Don't forget, most of them are probably just intimidated by your luxuriant fur.

Oh I know they can't help it.
And I'm one of the most tolerant people you'll ever meet (or not meet perhaps).

I stress I'm not talking about shy, nervous or people who are in any way anxious.
Such people could quite possibly come across perfectly in written format for example.
Think a la Alan Partridge.
Aha!

admiralofthefleet

benwavner wrote: »

They are all on here!

....moderating

Pace2008

If people are so bad that they can't even communicate in a team situation it sounds like they could possibly have a touch of autism.

/internet psychiatrist

Where To

Praetorian Saighdiuir

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

....moderating

Oooooh oh no you didnt!

krudler

Maybe they just realise that most people are assholes with nothing worth talking about with and do their best to avoid interaction with the great unwashed at all costs.

The King of Moo

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Oh I know they can't help it.
And I'm one of the most tolerant people you'll ever meet (or not meet perhaps).

I stress I'm not talking about shy, nervous or people who are in any way anxious.
Such people could quite possibly come across perfectly in written format for example.
Think a la Alan Partridge.
Aha!

Specifically in terms of Alan Partridge alikes, those people just seem to be unable to perceive of other people's points of view. They can be very self-centred (not necessarily intentionally) and therefore not aware of how they might appear to others.
I know a few people like that. They're not aware if, for example, you want/need to get away from them when they're talking to you and keep rabbiting on. When you actually manage to get a word in edgeways, they don't listen to what you said and keep saying what they want to.


They're also unaware if they annoy people, and, perhaps most annoyingly, if they stand too close to someone.

I think it's just a particular mindset.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKRBYGhqI8Y

woodoo

Yeah autism, aspergers, social phobia, mental health problems etc are all reasons. Most people would like to be socially competent. Those that aren't can't help it i'd say.

B.A._Baracus

TeddyTedson wrote: »

What's with socially inept people? How are they so out touch with the majority of people that they have major difficulties communicating the simplest of things? I'm not talking about quiet or shy people here. But people how might have been in school, college or work with you who nobody could ever get.

I work with someone who is great at their job in a lot of ways and very intelligent. However them being socially inept basically makes them useless if they have to work with someone else together on something.
Their communication skills are utterly dire.

I actually think people like this need to be sent on course on how to work with people. They generally don't lack confidence or anything either in my experiences.
Socialising with them is often full of cringe worthy moments.
Is it nature or nurture?

Kinda coming off as a dick there, teddy.

You are talking about socially awkward people and who are you to say "oh these people should goto courses on how to work with people!" ... geez man.

TeddyTedson

krudler wrote: »

Maybe they just realise that most people are assholes with nothing worth talking about with and do their best to avoid interaction with the great unwashed at all costs.

The glass is

1. Half full
2. Half empty

?


I'm not talking about social hermits here.

Orizio

I prefer to call them culchies...

WumBuster

Where To wrote: »

What are you trying to say Teddy?

I think he's wondering why some people are arseholes.

TeddyTedson

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Kinda coming off as a dick there, teddy.

You are talking about socially awkward people and who are you to say "oh these people should goto courses on how to work with people!" ... geez man.

I'm not talking about socially "awkward" people though.
I'm talking about people who are socially inept like real life Alan Paaaaartridges.

HalloweenJack

There are some people out there who just have no idea how to communicate effectively to people. It doesn't mean that they are shy or whatever, the best example I can think of is a very talkative guy.

However, he has no idea how to interact with people. He is really rude, interrupts everyone, wants all the attention, will joke about anything just to get a laugh and has no idea when not to joke (made a joke about a family member's alcoholism and another one's deteriorating mental health), loves winding people up, which isn't a problem in itself but there is a time and a place for it, e. g. deliberately winding-up his wife when she comes home from a tough day at work.

To me, this is socially inept. He has no idea of boundaries, manners or respect but gets his knickers in a knot when you treat him the same way he treats others.

EDIT: Just saw someone posted an Alan Partridge video, the similarities are almost too perfect!

WumBuster

here is a little quiz to find out if you are one of those 'socially inept' people or not, if anyones interested.

http://www.outofservice.com/self-monitor-censor-test/

Where To

WumBuster wrote: »

here is a little quiz to find out if you are one of those 'socially inept' people or not, if anyones interested.

http://www.outofservice.com/self-monitor-censor-test/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Flvxbw8YYM8

Gmol

Pace2008 wrote: »

If people are so bad that they can't even communicate in a team situation it sounds like they could possibly have a touch of autism.

/internet psychiatrist

Could be true apparently 1 in 10 guys are autistic prob undiagnosed

Lantus

woodoo wrote: »

Yeah autism, aspergers, social phobia, mental health problems etc are all reasons. Most people would like to be socially competent. Those that aren't can't help it i'd say.

Wrong, everyone is a product of their environment.

If you grow up in the deep south of america you have a southern accent and speak about oher racial groups in a certain manner.

If you were to grow up in nazi germany you would salute and believe that germany was above all others.

The problems in our society IMO are all environmental. No one is born with shyness or any other deficiency, they are learned, adopted and reflected in to us by our families, friends and society at large. One poster mentioned nature vs nurture, no such thing.

Gmol

No

Lantus wrote: »

woodoo wrote: »

Yeah autism, aspergers, social phobia, mental health problems etc are all reasons. Most people would like to be socially competent. Those that aren't can't help it i'd say.

Wrong, everyone is a product of their environment.

If you grow up in the deep south of america you have a southern accent and speak about oher racial groups in a certain manner.

If you were to grow up in nazi germany you would salute and believe that germany was above all others.

The problems in our society IMO are all environmental. No one is born with shyness or any other deficiency, they are learned, adopted and reflected in to us by our families, friends and society at large. One poster mentioned nature vs nurture, no such thing.

not true

marshbaboon

I'm the human incarnation of the socially awkward penguin. I'm just lucky I have enough humour to cover up the awkwardness.

Pace2008

Lantus wrote: »

Wrong, everyone is a product of their environment.

If you grow up in the deep south of america you have a southern accent and speak about oher racial groups in a certain manner.

If you were to grow up in nazi germany you would salute and believe that germany was above all others.

The problems in our society IMO are all environmental. No one is born with shyness or any other deficiency, they are learned, adopted and reflected in to us by our families, friends and society at large. One poster mentioned nature vs nurture, no such thing.

The belief you seem to be espousing here, that humans are born as blank slates and are entirely the product of their environment, is a school of thought known as behaviourism, and it has been widely disregarded by psychologists and cognitive scientists since around the 1950s.

I'm not socially inept, just really, really slow. Usually it's Tuesday when I realised "that girl was coming onto me!".

Festy

Perhaps these socially inept people you speak of OP rather not talk about the usual ****e that Irish people talk about,for example.Weather,who's screwing who,Man utd or Celtic winning the league etc.Yawn.

kowloon

I don't know many in any group who I'd class as socially inept, I'm slowly coming to the realisation that it might be me, but I can't tell.

pragmatic1

I definitely socially inept at times. Some days very sociable and nice and other days might decide to be a cnut for the day.

diabloro

I guess people that take the time to write a thread about "socially inept" people should look at themselves. Sorry OP.

mauzo

I have no filter between my brain and my mouth. I say whatever comes into my head.

Sometimes its cringe worthy. I'm sure there's people who've met me and thought what the hell is she on...

My family are all outgoing and could talk the back legs off a donkey. I'm fine if the other person is chatty, then I feel more comfortable. But if not, I try carry the conversation and make a right twat of myself.

I also have a nervous laugh, I will laugh at anything the person says, usually a snort is thrown in and I just want the ground to swallow me up.

I'm a lot better now though. I just hate awkward silences and panic when it happens

Scanlas The 2nd

Pace2008 wrote: »

Lantus wrote: »

Wrong, everyone is a product of their environment.

If you grow up in the deep south of america you have a southern accent and speak about oher racial groups in a certain manner.

If you were to grow up in nazi germany you would salute and believe that germany was above all others.

The problems in our society IMO are all environmental. No one is born with shyness or any other deficiency, they are learned, adopted and reflected in to us by our families, friends and society at large. One poster mentioned nature vs nurture, no such thing.

The belief you seem to be espousing here, that humans are born as blank slates and are entirely the product of their environment, is a school of thought known as behaviourism, and it has been widely disregarded by psychologists and cognitive scientists since around the 1950s.

I never understood how people say either nature or nurture determines your character, it's obviously a combination of both.

Mr Benevolent

Shryke wrote: »

Teddy is the Louis Theroux of Boards.

I get the impression he's really socially inept.

copeyhagen

sounds like the guy has asbergers OP

newmug

Alan Partridge-ism /= autism.

Most Alan Partridges are just arseholes. They know full well how obnoxious they're being, they just dont care. Methinks they're just hardwired that way.

Rachineire

Lantus wrote: »

Wrong, everyone is a product of their environment.

If you grow up in the deep south of america you have a southern accent and speak about oher racial groups in a certain manner.

If you were to grow up in nazi germany you would salute and believe that germany was above all others.

The problems in our society IMO are all environmental. No one is born with shyness or any other deficiency, they are learned, adopted and reflected in to us by our families, friends and society at large. One poster mentioned nature vs nurture, no such thing.

I grew up in the deep south of america- I have a very flat accent (ie not southern) and am extremely tolerant....stereotype much?

deman

One guy I was at school with was like this. Didn't really have any friends even though nobody had anything against him. He wasn't a victim of bullying because basically, the bullies didn't really even know he existed. His nickname was Professor as he looked a bit like Jerry Lewis in the Nutty Professor.

Roll on 25 years and I bumped into him for the first since I left school. The guy just talked and talked forever. He's now a salesman and apparently doing very well.

Complete transformation.

Shocking!

SocSocPol

TeddyTedson wrote: »

What's with socially inept people? How are they so out touch with the majority of people that they have major difficulties communicating the simplest of things? I'm not talking about quiet or shy people here. But people how might have been in school, college or work with you who nobody could ever get.

I work with someone who is great at their job in a lot of ways and very intelligent. However them being socially inept basically makes them useless if they have to work with someone else together on something.
Their communication skills are utterly dire.

I actually think people like this need to be sent on course on how to work with people. They generally don't lack confidence or anything either in my experiences.
Socialising with them is often full of cringe worthy moments.
Is it nature or nurture?

Thinly vieled "I'm so perfect and everyone around me is a gob****e" thread!
OP should get a life!

TeddyTedson

SocSocPol wrote: »

TeddyTedson wrote: »

What's with socially inept people? How are they so out touch with the majority of people that they have major difficulties communicating the simplest of things? I'm not talking about quiet or shy people here. But people how might have been in school, college or work with you who nobody could ever get.

I work with someone who is great at their job in a lot of ways and very intelligent. However them being socially inept basically makes them useless if they have to work with someone else together on something.
Their communication skills are utterly dire.

I actually think people like this need to be sent on course on how to work with people. They generally don't lack confidence or anything either in my experiences.
Socialising with them is often full of cringe worthy moments.
Is it nature or nurture?

Thinly vieled "I'm so perfect and everyone around me is a gob****e" thread!
OP should get a life!

If that's what you're getting from that your intellect leaves a lot to be desired.

fishy fishy

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Kinda coming off as a dick there, teddy.

You are talking about socially awkward people and who are you to say "oh these people should goto courses on how to work with people!" ... geez man.

LOL

and in the next post he says And I'm one of the most tolerant people you'll ever meet (or not meet perhaps).


:

FAIL

TeddyTedson

There's a few social inept people deniers responding.
Some people thinking I'm being a dickhead about this but surely you must have come across social inept people in your life time.
Think real life Alan Partridge type of person.
I'm not having a go at social nervous people or anything similar to that.

MadsL

I met a gaggle of role-playing, sci-fi nerds recently. A more socially inept bunch you have never met. Classic basement dwellers. However, they found each other, and were as tight as I've ever know a bunch of friends to be. Nice people as long as you didn't want to discuss any topic that wasn't involving Orcs or Dragons.

JohnMarston

OP a lot of people are introverts - meaning they are shy, reserved and like to keep to themselves.
Whereas extroverts - outgoing, boisterous and easier to get along with generally
Obviously introverts find it much more difficult to deal with social ineptitude in themselves, the world caters more to the extroverts.

fishy fishy

TeddyTedson wrote: »

There's a few social inept people deniers responding.
Some people thinking I'm being a dickhead about this but surely you must have come across social inept people in your life time.
Think real life Alan Partridge type of person.
I'm not having a go at social nervous people or anything similar to that.

Everyone is different - you need to respect that. Not say that they need to go to a class to sort themselves out. Live and let live and get on with your own life, instead of worrying about theirs. I'm sure they are very happy in their own circles, and would probably buy and sell you and you wouldn't know it.

Do they intimidate you by any chance?