Are kids really worth all the hassle

Rabidlamb

I've a spinster sister in her mid 40's who used love her single life & weekend lie ons.
She tells me last weekend that she's now worried she'll have no one to look after her in her old age.
Can't have it both ways love.

IvyTheTerrible

Rabidlamb wrote: »

I've a spinster sister in her mid 40's who used love her single life & weekend lie ons.
She tells me last weekend that she's now worried she'll have no one to look after her in her old age.
Can't have it both ways love.

Who says that if she had kids they'd look after her in her old age?

Leftist

westies4ever wrote: »

Thanks for being insulting - I was joking. I thought this was After hours? Lighten up!

soz pal, thought you were serious.

Son Of A Vidic

floggg wrote: »

So growing up as a kid, it's kind of assumed as inevitable that you will end up starting a family and raising a few sprogs of your own.

Assumed by many yes, but it's not a sentence you need to impose on yourself.

dharma200

I have 3 children.
I had my son at 22. I very much regret having a child so young. It is really really hard.. harder than those without kids can imagine, wether you have money, job, no money etc etc. It is hard.

I very much dont regret having my subsequent children in my 30s. My son is in high school, great young lad.. despite me being young bringing him up, still going to the odd party etc when he was growing up.

There is a reason why sterilisation (especially for women) is not recommended when under 30 with no children. People think they know it all when they are young, things change dramatically as you get older. Fact. What you think you want at 25 may be the furtherst thing in your mind when 35. For a woman, sterilization reversal is very difficult. There are easier ways to avoid having children.

If i could go back in time I would not have had my son in my 20s. It is a time where you should be working on building your own life, enjoying yourself etc. This is how I feel. I look forward to my son becoming a man though, I will only be in my 40s.

No one is going to say they regret the actual child. It is inbuilt in parents to love their children. To have a child is such a life changing event, impossible to describe to those who do not have children. perhaps you can regret circumstance, but i would think no one unless mentally ill, actual regret the child itself.

I would not like to get to old age and have no children, I look forward in time to grandchildren...

My advise though, to anyone, is wait until your late 20s or 30s. But some people want to be young parents. The reality doesnt sink in until the child is there. And its a big big fookin wake up call to most.........

poldebruin

floggg wrote: »

The lives of many childless people or couples could objectively be viewed as far more purposeful and meaningful than somebody who's greatest achievement is passing on their genes (though equally there are many wonderfully productive parents who contribute to the world)..

I didn't see anyone suggest otherwise. Although even childless people that achieve great things with their lives, were once someone's children themselves (or someone else's "greatest achievement" as you put it.

poldebruin

floggg wrote: »

But I reckon few if any kids show their parents half as much gratitude as they deserve for all the hard work and sacrifices that goes into raising kids these days.

it's funny you mention that - one of the surprising side-effects I found about having children, was the startling realisation or insight of everything my parents miust have gone through with me.

I used to think I could imagine it, but when you're actually doing it yourself, it really hits home all they gave up and provided for you. It really is a weird feeling of gratitude or awe or soemthing. It';s hard to describe.

Of course, this may be just because I was an ingrate and didn't realise it all those years!!

dpe

Having done the single life in my early 40s (after childless marriage and divorce in my 30s) and now the kids thing (I have 2 year old and a six month old), I know which I prefer. Yes kids are knackering (my rare nights of uninterrupted sleep are precious) and expensive, and you live with a constant low level fear they'll do something catastrophic any minute, but they're also constantly rewarding. Watching them and guiding them and seeing them grow is a sheer joy. And my eldest in particular is ****ing hilarious.

floggg

Rabidlamb wrote: »

I've a spinster sister in her mid 40's who used love her single life & weekend lie ons.
She tells me last weekend that she's now worried she'll have no one to look after her in her old age.
Can't have it both ways love.

Are your kids just one big pension to you?

Anyway, I plan on going out on a heroin OD before I ever reach the stage where I need somebody to change my nappy.

pickarooney

tbh wrote: »

I can say with hand on heart that I've genuinely never been happier than when I've been curled up on a couch with my little pompom reading "That's not my tractor".

Much as I loved her earlier work in the fields of simian similarities and lion likenesses, I feel Watt is flogging a dead horse at this stage with the inanimate objects

Witchie

dharma200 wrote: »

I have 3 children.
I had my son at 22. I very much regret having a child so young. It is really really hard.. harder than those without kids can imagine, wether you have money, job, no money etc etc. It is hard.

I very much dont regret having my subsequent children in my 30s. My son is in high school, great young lad.. despite me being young bringing him up, still going to the odd party etc when he was growing up.

There is a reason why sterilisation (especially for women) is not recommended when under 30 with no children. People think they know it all when they are young, things change dramatically as you get older. Fact. What you think you want at 25 may be the furtherst thing in your mind when 35. For a woman, sterilization reversal is very difficult. There are easier ways to avoid having children.

If i could go back in time I would not have had my son in my 20s. It is a time where you should be working on building your own life, enjoying yourself etc. This is how I feel. I look forward to my son becoming a man though, I will only be in my 40s.

No one is going to say they regret the actual child. It is inbuilt in parents to love their children. To have a child is such a life changing event, impossible to describe to those who do not have children. perhaps you can regret circumstance, but i would think no one unless mentally ill, actual regret the child itself.

I would not like to get to old age and have no children, I look forward in time to grandchildren...

My advise though, to anyone, is wait until your late 20s or 30s. But some people want to be young parents. The reality doesnt sink in until the child is there. And its a big big fookin wake up call to most.........

Again this is a subjective opinion. I had my eldest a few weeks after my 21st birthday and even though it meant I had to put off studies (not getting a degree is my only regret but that was due to the fact that later my marriage broke down and I was sole provider and caretaker of my children and decided that my energy was better used in bringing them up than following my education but I have done other courses and still am determined to do my degree) it was the best decision FOR ME.

I had spent my youth and teens saying that I would never want children. Even had difficulties with a boyfriend coz I told him I would never want kids. Then when I was 17 my little sister was born and I fell so in love with her and all I wanted was to be a mammy.

My son starts university on my 39th birthday and when my kids are 21 and 18 I will have just turned 42. In today's world that is still very young and that is when I intend to follow up on the little things I put on hold (i.e. travel more).

I look at lots of my friends whose children are only young now or my older brother and his wife who are trying to decide if they want kids or not and am glad that I had them young, had so much fun with them and grew up with them learning stuff together.

It may not have been ideal in some ways but it really was the best way for me and I could not imagine having it any other way.

So those contemplating kids - there is no ideal time, no perfect age, no guarantees.

There is no feeling however quite like that first moment when you lay eyes on your beautiful baby. No drug can ever come close to that moment of pure joy. And it doesn't stop there. Every little smile or cuddle makes your heart flip over, every achievement makes you float on air.

Yup I love being a mum.

Oh and totally agree with Poldebruin on the appreciation of your own parents when you have kids. You also realise how much they really really love you and that is such an amazing feeling.

anncoates

smash wrote: »

If you don't have kids, who gets your beer from the fridge for you?

Your mot, of course.

Medusa22

I don't like children and have difficulty relating to them. I'm 24 and I don't think that I will ever have children, nor do I want them. I'm in a relationship with a girl anyway, so I don't have to worry about accidents! She is 29 and doesn't have any interest in children either. I also have an illness which means that conceiving could be difficult and pregnancy life-threatening and I'd have a short window of opportunity if I do want to have them. Some people with CF do have kids but I think it is selfish to have a child if there is a strong chance you will die before they grow up, not to mention passing on the defective genes.

TPD

anncoates wrote: »

Your mot, of course.

I find this genuinely confusing. What does 'mot' or 'moth' mean when referring to your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever?

Greentopia

Child free by choice, so no, I don't think they're worth the hassle. Kids take over your life completely and would ruin my sense of independence and freedom. And I certainly wouldn't have kids as an insurance policy in old age to look after me. Why would I want to burden them so? they would have their own lives to lead.

I think too many people only have kids because it's expected by family or society, not because it's because they really want them. That's not a good enough reason to have them in my opinion.

Fromthetrees

I'm in my mid twenties and my daughter started her first day of school today. The time has gone so fast it's unbelievable, I feel like I'm growing up with her, far from ideal it is but I know the energy and enthusiasm me and her mom have for her is worth a lot.
Seeing my parents spend time with her and how nackered they get makes me glad to be young, just pointing some positives.
I'm not for a second saying I have any but common sense is what's needed most for your child. The advantage of being older when you have kids is that you are where you want to be financially, that is obviously a massive thing but will have little bearing on your ability to be the parent you can and want to be.

krudler

I'm nearly 31 and male and dont really want kids, doubt I ever will tbh. I like my freedom, and not having to devote the years of my life to them until they're adults. I may change my mind at some stage or if I was at a place in my life where I'd felt I'd seen enough of the world and was at a place where I was content in myself, but right now that's nowhere close. I like minding my nephew, hes great craic but I get to give him back at the end of a day lol. one of my friends has a 2 year old and they're super cute for like an hour then they're just dribbling and making a mess everywhere and you have to watch them like a hawk, no thanks.

Madam_X

There's an obsession with the financial aspect - would have thought the emotional and physical toll and the massive level of responsibility/commitment would be more of a concern. Nobody ever needed to be minted to raise children.

I don't have a major desire to be a parent but if it happens, cool - I'll probably be delighted, if nervous. I'm not one of those people who is really hostile to kids, if not particularly maternal either.

Can't understand the rationalising by some folks who are defensive about their choice to be childfree that lots, even most, parents regret having kids. No matter how hard it gets, I'd bet most still don't regret it. It's not like they'd want the children taken off them.

dinneenp

They change your life. FACT
Maybe a bit like Dr. Pepper- on paper don't look like a good idea but once you have them you love them and see things differently.

Yes, you lose freedom (for a while) and they cost money but that's obvious. your life is turned upside down but you adjust, get used to it and can't imagine life before them. They also bring joy, fun, adventures etc.

If you want to have 100% freedom to go where you want when you want, go on holidays, veg out when you want for the rest of your life then you don't have kids.

(my kids are 2.5 and 5)

photo 1

PHOTO 2

poldebruin

Greentopia wrote: »

I think too many people only have kids because it's expected by family or society, not because it's because they really want them. That's not a good enough reason to have them in my opinion.

I'm pretty certain that you're wrong to think this. Entitled to though. But it doesn't strike me as something people are pressured into doing. For most it's a decision that is not made lightly.

Kids don't take over your life - they become part of it, an important part, and you become an important part of theirs.

I'd also be surprised if many in a first-world country were having kids as a pension or old-age insurance, but that said, I will want to look after my own mum and dad if they need me, and although it might be a burden, it's one I will gladly bear if needs be.

seenitall

Madam_X wrote: »

Can't understand the rationalising by some folks who are defensive about their choice to be childfree that lots, even most, parents regret having kids. No matter how hard it gets, I'd bet most still don't regret it. It's not like they'd want the children taken off them.

It's not rationalising, it's the truth about some parents' and children's lives. I'd also bet that most parents don't regret having kids, but if you watch the world, you can see that plenty do. It's just one of the biggest taboos that ever was, to actually admit it to themselves, let alone anyone else. Because that would leave them feeling like a bad parent (= a bad person), and people don't like feeling bad about themselves. Denial is much easier (not really, but that's for another thread).

I refer you to numerous cases of children being killed, raped, tortured, starved or otherwise neglected by the parents for whom they are simply (I presume) a horrendous inconvenience or something to sell or otherwise profit by - I'm sure you read such news pretty regularly, I know I do. Those are just the tip of the iceberg, too. For any one of the extreme cases, there will be lots more of silent suffering behind closed doors. (I myself am from an abusive background, but not abusive enough to have ever warranted "outside intervention", don't you know.)

I am 38 and a single mum of one. I had my child when I was ready for one and not any sooner, which was, and is, great timing, and life is good overall. But I also have some friends my age, both single and coupled up, who don't have children, and they're having a ball. Good for them, not everyone should be a parent, and lucky are those who know themselves and know they would do a lousy job of it before they venture in. Because the evidence is that many don't, or don't give a f00k anyway.

I would also like to see the societal pressure about reproduction decrease in this country. Along with a lot of other traditional societal conventions, I have to say (but that's also for another thread).

Dave!

I never really gave much thought to kids or family when I was younger, although I did have some appreciation of the fact that I have a big enough (3 older siblings) family myself, and that it was a good thing.

It's only in the last 3 years that we've had 3 babies come into our lives (2 nieces and a nephew for me), and I'm mad about them all! I definitely want to have a few kids when the time is right. We'll see how enthusiastic I am about it when I'm juggling 3 or 4 babies at 4am... It's just terrific having a bit full house, going out for drinks with the family, etc... I couldn't imagine not having a big family around me. I'm 24 BTW.

My mate is about 28, and is determined never to have kids. He's on the lookout now for a girlfriend who doesn't want kids. How many women are there in the world who don't want kids? I don't like the odds, anyway.

I'm trying to fast-forward a few years, when myself and the rest of his mates will probably be raising our own families, and doing kid stuff with other parents, etc. Does he expect that we will, or should, be able to give as much time to friends as we can currently? Does he expect we'll go out for pints as often as we would like to? Is he going to have to be on the lookout for other childless couples that he can socialise with?

Having said that I know that kids aren't for everyone, and are no doubt very hard work and a huge sacrifice, etc etc

Red Hand

Dave! wrote: »

I never really gave much thought to kids or family when I was younger, although I did have some appreciation of the fact that I have a big enough (3 older siblings) family myself, and that it was a good thing.

It's only in the last 3 years that we've had 3 babies come into our lives (2 nieces and a nephew for me), and I'm mad about them all! I definitely want to have a few kids when the time is right. We'll see how enthusiastic I am about it when I'm juggling 3 or 4 babies at 4am... It's just terrific having a bit full house, going out for drinks with the family, etc... I couldn't imagine not having a big family around me. I'm 24 BTW.

My mate is about 28, and is determined never to have kids. He's on the lookout now for a girlfriend who doesn't want kids. How many women are there in the world who don't want kids? I don't like the odds, anyway.

I'm trying to fast-forward a few years, when myself and the rest of his mates will probably be raising our own families, and doing kid stuff with other parents, etc. Does he expect that we will, or should, be able to give as much time to friends as we can currently? Does he expect we'll go out for pints as often as we would like to? Is he going to have to be on the lookout for other childless couples that he can socialise with?

Having said that I know that kids aren't for everyone, and are no doubt very hard work and a huge sacrifice, etc etc

Oh yeah, Dave? So it's all coming out now, eh? Well, if you don't want to be friend, then fine-I don't need you! You can hang out with your soccor moms and sugar daddies and I'll do just fine hanging out with...my hemp/nylon mix rope.

PS: you smell.



:P

HemlockOption

say_who_now? wrote: »

And now just imagine if your parents had thought the same way you do before they had you- you wouldn't be here! You could ask the same question of any drain on your financial resources really, be it a car, a house, hell even getting married is a huge financial drain that some would ask is it worth it. As a parent myself of course there are times when I'm driven up the wall, but I'd never think I regret having children- for all the head wrecking they do, they do provide hours of LOL moments at the same time, and certainly I wouldn't say they had curbed my social life, or that they are half as bad as you make out. Like anything in life- if you plan and manage right, the rewards are awesome and you get out of it what you put in. Depending on what you consider an investment, be it financial or just time spent nurturing your investment, the dividends can be very rewarding indeed!

1. who would that matter to?
2. to admit to that would cause you incredible guilt - so even if you felt regret it's unlikely that you would admit to it
3. 'awsome' - such as ?

We can all say we love our kids but that's a separate issue from the incredibly difficulty and never-ending job of being a parent.

Greentopia

poldebruin wrote: »

I'm pretty certain that you're wrong to think this. Entitled to though. But it doesn't strike me as something people are pressured into doing. For most it's a decision that is not made lightly.

I was thinking not so much overt (although there is that also) but subliminal pressure that is placed on people-women especially, to reproduce. I don't know if you're male or female but I'm female and I certainly have been put under a certain amount of pressure from family and there is much positive reinforcement to conform to the norm of having a family by society.
I've been met with an interesting mixture of reactions if I tell people I don't have kids and never want any. Everything from blank stares, surprise, disbelief- "Oh you'll change your mind some day!", suspicion-especially from other women, or a feeling that I'm must be 'selfish' in some way to want to live my life on my own terms, without children. Oh and also a feeling of resentment and envy by some that my life doesn't revolve around such things as sleepless nights, nappies, play groups and a child's social activities as theirs do.
Forgetting that it was their choice to have kids. No-one forced it on them.

Fortunately it's slackened off in the last few years as it's become obvious to all around me that I really meant it when I said I will never have kids.
Even my mother is resigned to the fact she'll never have grand kids-I'm an only child.

poldebruin wrote: »

Kids don't take over your life - they become part of it, an important part, and you become an important part of theirs.

That's a nice way of seeing it and I'm sure it's true for most parents, but that's not how I would view it from my perspective. I know that having a child would turn my life upside down-I would have to find somewhere else to live, my work that I love would suffer. It'd have to take a back seat to child rearing and I would have to give up too much of my free time to caring for it. And they would be a drain on my income.
No thank's. I'm not maternal so it's best all round that I never have them.

poldebruin wrote: »

I'd also be surprised if many in a first-world country were having kids as a pension or old-age insurance, but that said, I will want to look after my own mum and dad if they need me, and although it might be a burden, it's one I will gladly bear if needs be.

I agree it's not seen in the same light as in developing countries but at least one person here (perhaps more, I haven't read the whole thread) did express the view of kids being insurance in their old age. While it may not be the motivation for people to have kids I'm sure it's at the back of some parents minds.

I too will want to look after my Mum as best I can when the time comes-and that time is not so far away-and likewise I don't feel it will be a burden of any kind, but that doesn't take away from the fact that if I had kids of my own I myself would feel like a burden if my child was put into a position where they had to care for me. I don't feel it would be fair on someone starting out on their own journey in life with all their ambitions hopes and dreams to have to compromise them with being saddled looking after me. That's me, not saying anyone else should feel the same way.

Edit-oh and I didn't take your post as being sanctimonious at all

poldebruin

Greentopia wrote: »

I don't know if you're male or female but I'm female and I certainly have been put under a certain amount of pressure from family and there is much positive reinforcement to conform to the norm of having a family by society.

I'm a male of the species, so perhaps I'm a bit sheltered from it. I will ask my wife when I go home to see what she says.

I'd never dream of asking someone what their plans were regarding children - is that not considered rude? Luckily my parents and (as far as I know) my wife's parents never raised the subject with us, and we were late having any.

Yes, I will try to confirm all and any of this when I get home this evening!

Greentopia

HemlockOption wrote: »

1. who would that matter to?

I've had someone say that to me "Oh but what if you're parents thought like you, you wouldn't be here now!" uh, so what? if I never existed I'm not going to know about it to have any feelings on the matter
I'm grateful that I am alive but given the reproductive odds against me ever having being born in the first place it's not as if I was guaranteed life just by virtue of the fact that my parents agreed to have a child.
If they had had sex on a different day, a different minute, then another one of my Dad's millions of sperm cells would have joined my Mum's egg cells to produce a different offspring. Such is the random nature of reproduction, and I'm fine with that.

HemlockOption wrote: »

2. to admit to that would cause you incredible guilt - so even if you felt regret it's unlikely that you would admit to it

There have been more parents in the last few years who have come out and expressed regret at having had kids in blogs, books and so on, but yes it is still very rare for anyone who would feel like that to admit that they made the wrong choice in having kids.
I think it would just raise too many uncomfortable issues to deal with in the minds of the parent who would do so and I would imagine the guilt would be colossal, yes.

HemlockOption wrote: »

3. 'awsome' - such as ?

I've had pets that are 'awesome', that I've loved dearly, have been fun to play with and have been great company. For me those are not good enough reasons to have a child. I think the decision to have kids has to come from an utterly unselfish place and not because you want to pass on your own traits, or because a kid is going to fill some hole or need in your own life, or because you think a kid will fix a floundering relationship or something.
I think it should be because you really feel you would make a great parent that would have lots of love, time, energy and the necessary skills to give to the raising of a child and that you want that child to be a positive addition to our world. Not little mini-me's as I've seen happen with some parents seeing their kids as a chip off the old block and then being dismayed that the kids have a mind of their own with their own dreams and ambitions.

suicide_circus

Twenty-something single males in never want kids shocker.

Greentopia

poldebruin wrote: »

I'd never dream of asking someone what their plans were regarding children - is that not considered rude? Luckily my parents and (as far as I know) my wife's parents never raised the subject with us, and we were late having any.

Lucky indeed.
Most people don't come right out and ask in fairness as yes it would be considered nosey or rude by most, but that doesn't stop some people expressing their thinly veiled disapproval if it comes up in conversation and I reveal to them my position on the matter. Close family members will usually be less inclined to hide their true feelings, or certainly was so in my case anyway. :rolleyes:

suicide_circus

A lot of people on here worrying that kids would encroach on their free time while at the same time, i suspect, currently using much of their free time to masturbate and scroll through pages of lolcats.

Greentopia

suicide_circus wrote: »

A lot of people on here worrying that kids would encroach on their free time while at the same time, i suspect, currently using much of their free time to masturbate and scroll through pages of lolcats.

I never said I make a valuable use of my free time :pac:

But the issue is that it's my time to spend it as I please, whether that's in the worthy pursuit of caring for sick and injured animals in third world countries while reading the collective works of Beckett, or in scrolling through lolcats. It's not time that's dictated by the needs of a child in my life that I would not be equipped to look after.

say_who_now?

HemlockOption wrote: »

1. who would that matter to?

Well it just matters to me simply because I wouldn't BE here if my parents had thought "we're not having kids".

2. to admit to that would cause you incredible guilt - so even if you felt regret it's unlikely that you would admit to it

You clearly don't know me very well.

3. 'awsome' - such as ?

Awesome such as the fact that my child makes me laugh for one, another that I get a sense of enormous fulfillment knowing that I am able to provide for another human being and guide them and help them fulfill their potential. There's plenty of upsides to having a child and it'd take a very bitter person to be able to look on having a child as something negative.

We can all say we love our kids but that's a separate issue from the incredibly difficulty and never-ending job of being a parent.

I wouldn't have thought of being a parent as an incredibly difficult job, really I think it's as hard as you make it. There have of course been times when I've had to clip him round the ear for his behaviour but on the whole he's a good kid, not some spoiled little brat that I shower with material goods because I can't be arsed to take ten minutes out of the 24 hours in my day to spend time with him!

positron

"Are kids really worth all the hassle?"

Yes.

It's bit like a lazy singleton asking is sex with an actual person (rather than own had) worth all the hassle?

So the answer is yes, and you will know it when you experience it.

Gongoozler

I think you could sum up the thread with: children for some, truck loads of contraception / abortions for others!


It is quite patronising to get the 'you'll change your mind once you grow up' attitude. I'm grown up enough to know my own mind, and don't need telling I'm missing something in my life, ta. I consider it a little more mature to actually question the assumption that everyone will have children, rather than ignoring it and saying, 'sure what else would you do with your time?'. That's just crazy shizzle.

hatrickpatrick

You don't have to. I really want to some day but that's because I'm fascinated by the scientific and philosophical concept of life as a self sustaining reaction and I regard it as a fundamental purpose to reproduce, and therefore continue "living" even after we ourselves are gone.

Not everyone is interested in that kind of stuff though and I really hate it when people judge others for choosing not to have kids. If you don't want to then don't!

suicide_circus

Greentopia wrote: »

I never said I make a valuable use of my free time :pac:

But the issue is that it's my time to spend it as I please, whether that's in the worthy pursuit of caring for sick and injured animals in third world countries while reading the collective works of Beckett, or in scrolling through lolcats. It's not time that's dictated by the needs of a child in my life that I would not be equipped to look after.

yes it's all about you isn't it.You, you , you , you, you and that's the way you like it.

floggg

positron wrote: »

"Are kids really worth all the hassle?"

Yes.

It's bit like a lazy singleton asking is sex with an actual person (rather than own had) worth all the hassle?

So the answer is yes, and you will know it when you experience it.

Stupidest analogy of the year. You'd be doing well if sex lasted an hour. A kid hangs around for about 24 years these days.

holystungun9

floggg wrote: »

Stupidest analogy of the year. You'd be doing well if sex lasted an hour. A kid hangs around for about 24 years these days.

The initial connection between having sex and having kids was pretty good.

Eden3

Are you all mad...?

shopaholic01

Late 30's and female - I would rather die than have children. That may seem dramatic but I have never wanted children and genuinely do not think I'd cope. I've listened to the 'you'll change your mind when you're older' and 'wait until your biological clock starts ticking' nonsense for years, when in fact, the older I get, the more adamant I am.

I know I would not be a good parent, and admire those who are, but not everyone is parent material.

Cienciano

suicide_circus wrote: »

A lot of people on here worrying that kids would encroach on their free time while at the same time, i suspect, currently using much of their free time to masturbate and scroll through pages of lolcats.

You can still do that when you have kids. Ehhh, my mate who has kids was telling me

suicide_circus

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Late 30's and female - I would rather die than have children. That may seem dramatic but I have never wanted children and genuinely do not think I'd cope. I've listened to the 'you'll change your mind when you're older' and 'wait until your biological clock starts ticking' nonsense for years, when in fact, the older I get, the more adamant I am.

I know I would not be a good parent, and admire those who are, but not everyone is parent material.

well then i thank you on behalf of society for not having kids

kowloon

I'd make a terrible mother, the idea of childbirth terrifies me too.

It's also a huge responsibility being a parent and I'm not sure I'd do it well.

Do some people avoid being parents out of fear of failing their children, not because they don't want them?

LordSutch

Smelly dirty noisy beautiful creatures who don't let you sleep, they poo all the time, they get sick and they cost lots of money to feed and clothe, and they cramp your freedom! but yes they're well worth the hassle, as you put it )

stoneill

When the get to the age when they can get the beer from the fridge, open it and bring it to you it all becomes worth it.

Quorum

Wompa1 wrote: »

What else are you going to do?

What's fun?

Travelling?

Mr_Spaceman

Motorist wrote: »

Ive spoken to many parents who say having kids is absolute $hit. They long all day for 9pm when they get to spend a miserable two hours in peace.

They can't do anything, they are broke financially because of the kids, they have no lives anymore.

FFS. What a life, eh?

Which begs the obvious: WTF did they have kids for then?

ucd.1985

TPD wrote: »

I find this genuinely confusing. What does 'mot' or 'moth' mean when referring to your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever?

Comes from the Gaeilge phrase, "cailin maith" which means girlfriend or good girl literally translated.

The Cailin part was dropped to be left with maith.

Napper Hawkins

I wouldn't be surprised if many Irish people had kids for the same reason they tick "Catholic" on the census..

gsxr1

Really hard work
cost alot of money
ends your social life as you know it.

But ye will never love anyone as you do your own child ,

Your body will not let you socialize like you do when you are in your 20s for long. (your view on life changes as each decade passes)

When you are old and grey, will you still think the value of a few pound was worth not having your own family around you??

Feck money. People is where its at.

I sometimes think I would be better off, but in the bigger picture im a richer man than any pay packet could bring.

I would hate to be one of those people who have loads of cats to replace their hidden want for children to care for.