Are kids really worth all the hassle

Galwayguy35

I'm 37 and don't have any but I would definately like to have them someday.

Two of my friends are divorcing now because she wanted kids and he didn't, what's the point in marrying someone who doesn't feel the same about something as important as that.

gsxr1

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

I'm 37 and don't have any but I would definately like to have them someday.

Two of my friends are divorcing now because she wanted kids and he didn't, what's the point in marrying someone who doesn't feel the same about something as important as that.

You would need to get the finger out then. Tick Tock

Galwayguy35

gsxr1 wrote: »

You would need to get the finger out then. Tick Tock

Really?

Do you think I am an old man or something?

gsxr1

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Really?

Do you think I am an old man or something?

37. immm

Say it takes a few years to find the right woman.

You have a baby together.

When your kid is 20, you will be 60.

And that's if ya get the finger out.

I dont think you are an oul wan.

Galwayguy35

gsxr1 wrote: »

37. immm

Say it takes a few years to find the right woman.

You have a baby together.

When your kid is 20, you will be 60.

And that's if ya get the finger out.

I dont think you are an oul wan.

That wouldn't bother me, my father was 57 when i was born.

monkeysnapper

I really feel we need to get the population down big time, the amount of scum bags on our streets tell us that there's way to many people being brought into this world from parents that cant be a role model for their kids, or have the time to bring them up properly.

Why does everybody fell you // Have to get married/// have to buy a house/// have kids. Its all bull.

We need more people in society like the op , need people to just come out and say "I don't want to have kids"

I have 2 kids and I have to say I really wasn't bothered about having kids at all but felt pressured into having them because thats what you do. Do I have any regrets? not at all , for me its made my life worth living for. But I can imagine loads more people did the same and It Didn't come out the same way.

gsxr1

monkeysnapper wrote: »

I really feel we need to get the population down big time, the amount of scum bags on our streets tell us that there's way to many people being brought into this world from parents that cant be a role model for their kids, or have the time to bring them up properly.

Why does everybody fell you // Have to get married/// have to buy a house/// have kids. Its all bull.

We need more people in society like the op , need people to just come out and say "I don't want to have kids"

I have 2 kids and I have to say I really wasn't bothered about having kids at all but felt pressured into having them because thats what you do. Do I have any regrets? not at all , for me its made my life worth living for. But I can imagine loads more people did the same and It Didn't come out the same way.

Imm you have a point.

I do think kids should be planned by parents who want kids. Maybe the fact that the OP is considering this makes him/her a good future parent.

I dont know. Fecking hell. Im dealing with an 8 year old being bullied at the moment. What I felt 8 years ago seems a million years ago now.
Its not a decision to take lightly. Its a lifetime project that you cant give up on half way through.

Thespoofer

Have 3 boys. The two youngest can sometimes drive me f*#@ing bananas, to the point I tell my eldest not to get married and have kids ( jokingly...ahem ).

But after saying that I was once the guy who absolutely LIVED to go out to clubs on the tear, chasing the wimmin and so on to the point of almost ruination..and since settling down with a diamond wife and kids who drive me nuts ( think ' Malcolm in the middle ' ), it has made me a better man, more stable, focussed and even financially better off as I now save my hard earned.

No pain no gain !

NIMAN

As someone who has had to start shift work with maybe 2 or 3 hours sleep on a fairly regular basis, I'd say no to the original question, but overall I'd say yeah, they are definitely worth it.;)

You get used to the extreme exhaustion.

Scanlas The 2nd

What's with so many people thinking we need fewer babies being born, correct me if I'm wrongful but isn't there a problem approaching in that we don't have enough young people to support the growing number of elderly in the first world, we need more kids not less.

crixos30

when i was in my teens and early twenties i drank the crap out of it Friday Saturday Sunday and some times Monday,bringing home different girls every night and not really giving a sh!t about any thing really ..when i was 20 i met my soon to be wife and totally fell for her at 24 we had our first child and 26 our second,looking back at the way i was ..for ever hungover and genuinely bored with life i wouldn't change the way things turned out for a second,and as for missing the social life and being broke i couldn't care less ..i would give up any thing to see them happy and until you experience this your self you won't know what its like.

ermahgerd

I don't believe they are, no, and believe that many have them simply because they've nothing else in life to look forward to.

Life isn't all about drinking, going to clubs,etc. so when you're tired of that, it doesn't mean the only thing left to do is have a kid...or maybe for some that's just how life is?

I don't drink much and I certainly don't go to clubs much, but I want more out of life than the monotonous getting up early to get the kids ready, going to work from 9-6, coming home and dealing with the kids for a few hours, maybe having an hour or two to yourself and then repeat every day for at least the first 15 years of their life. Have a few and you won't be getting out of that cycle until you're well on in life.

I want to keep my life with lots of open doors and having kids just does not fit in with that at all. I want to work hard, earn well and enjoy the rewards. Not work my arse off to support some ingrates who, lets be honest, aren't offering anything substantial to my life.

People say "oh but what about when you're older?Who will support you then?", lets be honest folks, I've seen lots of people "supporting" their elderly parents and it amounts to choosing a home for them, in a lot of cases the home that will put the least dent into the inheritance, and visiting them once a week. I'm not spending a good chunk of life giving my all to some kids in order to receive such "support", thank you very much.

Kids take away any chance of you living your life to any great degree until you're too late to enjoy most of it. Feck that.

SomeGuyCalledMi

People with kids feel sorry for people without kids and people without kids feel sorry for people with kids. It's the way of the world.

Scanlas The 2nd

ermahgerd wrote: »

I don't believe they are, no, and believe that many have them simply because they've nothing else in life to look forward to.

Life isn't all about drinking, going to clubs,etc. so when you're tired of that, it doesn't mean the only thing left to do is have a kid...or maybe for some that's just how life is?

I don't drink much and I certainly don't go to clubs much, but I want more out of life than the monotonous getting up early to get the kids ready, going to work from 9-6, coming home and dealing with the kids for a few hours, maybe having an hour or two to yourself and then repeat every day for at least the first 15 years of their life. Have a few and you won't be getting out of that cycle until you're well on in life.

I want to keep my life with lots of open doors and having kids just does not fit in with that at all. I want to work hard, earn well and enjoy the rewards. Not work my arse off to support some ingrates who, lets be honest, aren't offering anything substantial to my life.

People say "oh but what about when you're older?Who will support you then?", lets be honest folks, I've seen lots of people "supporting" their elderly parents and it amounts to choosing a home for them, in a lot of cases the home that will put the least dent into the inheritance, and visiting them once a week. I'm not spending a good chunk of life giving my all to some kids in order to receive such "support", thank you very much.

Kids take away any chance of you living your life to any great degree until you're too late to enjoy most of it. Feck that.

What about people who have kids in their early twenties, they're not past it at forty so long as you take care of your health.

af_thefragile

I guess it'ld cool to have kids and u can relive ur childhood and do everything u wanted to as a kid with them. U can go camping, fishing, go karting etc. and you'll have a great time.

I agree life isn't about getting wasted every weekend and scoring all the young girls in the country...

John_Rambo

Some people should have kids and ad to the gene pool.

Some people probably shouldn't, but do.

Some people here obviously know they shouldn't and don't.

Fair play to them.

rob w

Oh, the irony!! :D

xoxyx

When I was a kid myself (13 or so), there was one of our mates who said she never wanted children. We thought she was weird because, sure that's what you do. You grow up, get a job (as an astronaut or pop singer obviously), get married, and have kids.

Now I'm moving through the twenties and the thought of having a child scares me into my bones. I can see the pros - I have friends who have children and I hear all the stories of what they get up to, and it does sound like they get a lot of fulfillment from them. Certainly, it's another person in life that you are going to love unconditionally and they'll feel the same way about you (apart from the teenage years), and that's always welcome. But, on the flip side, you have to dedicate yourself to them, change your priority in life from an individual to a parent, and put up with them not realising how much you do for them - not to mention the lack of sleep.

I'm too happy with how life is now to even contemplate having children. And, as for the responsibility and dread that something would happen to them - I don't need that thanks very much!!

I think lots of us are programmed from an early age that kids are one of the inevitable steps in life, whereas, in reality, not everybody needs to be a parent.

floggg

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What's with so many people thinking we need fewer babies being born, correct me if I'm wrongful but isn't there a problem approaching in that we don't have enough young people to support the growing number of elderly in the first world, we need more kids not less.

Well given that we are about to kill the planet through over population, I'm sure immigration old solve our problems. - if we didn't hate poor people so much.

smcelhinney

floggg wrote: »

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Bad Panda

crixos30 wrote: »

when i was in my teens and early twenties i drank the crap out of it Friday Saturday Sunday and some times Monday,bringing home different girls every night and not really giving a sh!t about any thing really ..when i was 20 i met my soon to be wife and totally fell for her at 24 we had our first child and 26 our second,looking back at the way i was ..for ever hungover and genuinely bored with life i wouldn't change the way things turned out for a second,and as for missing the social life and being broke i couldn't care less ..i would give up any thing to see them happy and until you experience this your self you won't know what its like.

So no kids = a life of booze binges, hangovers and never finding someone you really love!?!

For you maybe!

I know how to enjoy my life without being a total p1sshead thanks! It's worrying you needed a child for you to stop. Not a great example really when you think about it.

Alfred123

Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse

They **** you up, your mum and dad
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were ****ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.


Me - I'm a Larkinist

crazy cabbage

I dont see myself having kids, not becouse i dont think that i would be able to good parent but becosue i dont think that people should have kids for the sake of it or becouse that is where they are in life ect.

In my experience most people who have kids have them plus/minus a year after getting married, which i also dont see the benifits of but that is different debate. I think that there is a social expatation to have kids after getting married. Some people even have the cheak to being it up in convo after people get married.

I dont see peoples arguments that not having babys = geting drunk and clubing till your 60 (insert age as appropate). That seems very nieve imo. There is more to life than that.

yes if a cuple want to have kids then that is brilent and all but i dont think people really consider not have kids after geting married.

I dont think i know anyone who hasen't had kids after being married for say 2 years.

Scanlas The 2nd

floggg wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What's with so many people thinking we need fewer babies being born, correct me if I'm wrongful but isn't there a problem approaching in that we don't have enough young people to support the growing number of elderly in the first world, we need more kids not less.

Well given that we are about to kill the planet through over population, I'm sure immigration old solve our problems. - if we didn't hate poor people so much.

In what way will more babies kill the planet?

ermahgerd

SomeGuyCalledMi wrote: »

People with kids feel sorry for people without kids and people without kids feel sorry for people with kids. It's the way of the world.

No, people with kids "feel sorry" for people without kids and people without kids feel sorry for people with kids.

The general feeling from young parents is jealousy and/or a wish that other people had children so they had others to suffer with.

People naturally do not feel sorry for people with more freedom than themselves.

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What about people who have kids in their early twenties, they're not past it at forty so long as you take care of your health.

So go to school from 4-18, college from 18-21/22, start your career at 22 and then what, find someone you wish to have a child with and have a child pretty much immediately, then spend the next 18 years being responsible for that, going to work to support that and finally feel freedom at 43-45ish, when most of the people you know who waited until their 30s are in the middle of rearing theirs?

Does not sound very nice to me, not one bit.

crazy cabbage

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What's with so many people thinking we need fewer babies being born, correct me if I'm wrongful but isn't there a problem approaching in that we don't have enough young people to support the growing number of elderly in the first world, we need more kids not less.

We need young people to have more babies to support ageing population
That is the silliest reason i have ever heard to have kids

Lets take your argument for a second though. All young people have more babies to support growing population. Then there will be a bigger number of young people who will get old. Then the generation after will need to have even more babies to support this generation of older people ect ect. You see where this is going.

People shouldn't have kids just so that you can get your welfare when your older. That is fundemantly flawed imo

ermahgerd

crazy cabbage wrote: »

I dont see peoples arguments that not having babys = geting drunk and clubing till your 60 (insert age as appropate). That seems very nieve imo. There is more to life than that.

Absolutely. I've seen the implication made a few times in this thread that NOT settling down early and having children = some sleazy lifestyle of going to clubs where you're much older than everyone else and being drunk all the time.

It *sounds* like the kind of bull**** those who've been forced into the former make themselves believe in order to make their life more tolerable.

There's a whole world out there to enjoy and there is just so, so much things you cannot do with children in tow.

What I will say is the following, and I believe that it applies to the majority:
To the unambitious, kids provide a reason to life. To the ambitious, kids stand in the way of your reasons for life.

Scanlas The 2nd

crazy cabbage wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What's with so many people thinking we need fewer babies being born, correct me if I'm wrongful but isn't there a problem approaching in that we don't have enough young people to support the growing number of elderly in the first world, we need more kids not less.

We need young people to have more babies to support ageing population
That is the silliest reason i have ever heard to have kids

Lets take your argument for a second though. All young people have more babies to support growing population. Then there will be a bigger number of young people who will get old. Then the generation after will need to have even more babies to support this generation of older people ect ect. You see where this is going.

People shouldn't have kids just so that you can get your welfare when your older. That is fundemantly flawed imo

I never said that was a reason to have kids, merely refuting the idea that we need less babies.

shopaholic01

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What's with so many people thinking we need fewer babies being born, correct me if I'm wrongful but isn't there a problem approaching in that we don't have enough young people to support the growing number of elderly in the first world, we need more kids not less.

Look at the other side of that arguement too - a lot of parents are now helping their adult children financially, helping to pay mortgages, letting them move home so they can rent out their house to pay the mortgage etc. I don't know any good parent who stops being a parent when their children are adults. Great if you really want to be a parent, pretty miserable if you don't.


It's as normal not to want children as it is to want them. We're conditioned to think that the purpose of life is school, college, job, marriage and children. I did the first three by choice and have no intention of doing the last two. A lot of people assume I'm somehow odd, those who don't know me assume I never had the opportunity and look at me with pity.

Do I worry about dying alone? No, essentially we all die alone. Do I worry about not having children standing beside my hospital bed? No, if they were there if would mean I had children I never wanted. Also, a lot of children are not there for their parents, or are there out of a sense of duty/guilt. Not all, but some.

If you want children and can be a good parent great, but a lot of people know it's not for them.

Scanlas The 2nd

ermahgerd wrote: »

SomeGuyCalledMi wrote: »

People with kids feel sorry for people without kids and people without kids feel sorry for people with kids. It's the way of the world.

No, people with kids "feel sorry" for people without kids and people without kids feel sorry for people with kids.

The general feeling from young parents is jealousy and/or a wish that other people had children so they had others to suffer with.

People naturally do not feel sorry for people with more freedom than themselves.

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What about people who have kids in their early twenties, they're not past it at forty so long as you take care of your health.

So go to school from 4-18, college from 18-21/22, start your career at 22 and then what, find someone you wish to have a child with and have a child pretty much immediately, then spend the next 18 years being responsible for that, going to work to support that and finally feel freedom at 43-45ish, when most of the people you know who waited until their 30s are in the middle of rearing theirs?

Does not sound very nice to me, not one bit.

Not everyone goes to college, it doesn't sound good to you but it does to others. Some people have their kids young, then have their 40's to go travelling etc when they can afford to travel in more luxury. For many people the thoughts of changing nappies and having no sleep in your thirties or early forties doesn't sound too good.

ArtSmart

furiousox wrote: »

I used to be into "hard drugs" at the weekends, now it's more "soft furnishings"

Difficult to say which is the sadder....

ermahgerd

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Not everyone goes to college, it doesn't sound good to you but it does to others. Some people have their kids young, then have their 40's to go travelling etc when they can afford to travel in more luxury. For many people the thoughts of changing nappies and having no sleep in your thirties or early forties doesn't sound too good.

How could they afford to travel in more luxury?

Their careers would undoubtedly be stunted by early parenthood (i.e the guy/girl who sticks around the office longer, has less distractions etc. gets promoted/quicker.), their money earned would be going towards paying for their child/children very directly for at least 18 years. On top of that, they would have to buy or rent somewhere sizable enough to accommodate a family. They also have to worry about their pension.

Then, when their child is old enough to look after itself, it is going to college. College kids will need fees paid for, books bought, perhaps rent etc etc.

Realistically, if luxury travel is what appeals to them then they should absolutely not be having children in their twenties, enjoy all the disposable income they have and THEN have children.

Having children early suits people who never had much of a direction in mind in their life. They got through school, did something like business, graduate and don't know what else to do so hey, what's looked at as an accomplishment? Marriage and children.

Same applies for those who didn't do well academically either and didn't go to college. Managed to get an entry level job?What next? Marriage and children, sure what else is there.

If you've career or personal ambitions then having children young is going to delay or put a halt to those ambitions. Your ability to "achieve" in both your career and hobbies or other personal aspirations is extremely stunted or even halted when you've a mouth to feed, cloth and educate.

scoob70

CJC999 wrote: »

Do you really want to be that sad 40 something still out every night at the weekend trying to pretend your 10yrs younger while all your friends are at home with their families?

Mmmmm - that sad 40 year old travelling the world - meeting more friends in a night than you do in a year .

Scanlas The 2nd

ermahgerd wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Not everyone goes to college, it doesn't sound good to you but it does to others. Some people have their kids young, then have their 40's to go travelling etc when they can afford to travel in more luxury. For many people the thoughts of changing nappies and having no sleep in your thirties or early forties doesn't sound too good.

How could they afford to travel in more luxury?

Their careers would undoubtedly be stunted by early parenthood (i.e the guy/girl who sticks around the office longer, has less distractions etc. gets promoted/quicker.), their money earned would be going towards paying for their child/children very directly for at least 18 years. On top of that, they would have to buy or rent somewhere sizable enough to accommodate a family. They also have to worry about their pension.

Then, when their child is old enough to look after itself, it is going to college. College kids will need fees paid for, books bought, perhaps rent etc etc.

Realistically, if luxury travel is what appeals to them then they should absolutely not be having children in their twenties, enjoy all the disposable income they have and THEN have children.

Having children early suits people who never had much of a direction in mind in their life. They got through school, did something like business, graduate and don't know what else to do so hey, what's looked at as an accomplishment? Marriage and children.

Same applies for those who didn't do well academically either and didn't go to college. Managed to get an entry level job?What next? Marriage and children, sure what else is there.

If you've career or personal ambitions then having children young is going to delay or put a halt to those ambitions. Your ability to "achieve" in both your career and hobbies or other personal aspirations is extremely stunted or even halted when you've a mouth to feed, cloth and educate.

People in their forties generally make more money than those in their twenties so chances are you would have more money to allow yourself to enjoy travelling more. The kids would be adults do they wouldn't be coming along.

I would much prefer to have children in my early twenties than in my thirties, I think the closer you are in age to your children the closer your relationship all things equal. I think I'd prefer not to have children at all than to have them past 36 ish. At that age I'd prefer to be able to do activities together with my kids rather than than changing their nappies.

ermahgerd

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

People in their forties generally make more money than those in their twenties so chances are you would have more money to allow yourself to enjoy travelling more. The kids would be adults do they wouldn't be coming along.

I would much prefer to have children in my early twenties than in my thirties, I think the closer you are in age to your children the closer your relationship all things equal. I think I'd prefer not to have children at all than to have them past 36 ish. At that age I'd prefer to be able to do activities together with my kids rather than than changing their nappies.

Do you have children and if so, at what age did you have them?

crazy cabbage

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

People in their forties generally make more money than those in their twenties so chances are you would have more money to allow yourself to enjoy travelling more. The kids would be adults do they wouldn't be coming along.

Possible but at that stage you and your partner are also in fulltime employment. How many holidays do ye get. Lets say 20days during the year. You and your partner have to try and get these 20 days off at the same time in order to travel and even then there is no jeting off to america for a year or spending 6 months on mainland europe simply becouse of time restrictions
Or you could quit your job in which case the argument about more money is fruitless

And you comment says 'more money to allow yourself to enjoy travelling more'. That is not the case for most people i know atleast and defently not the case for me. I dont want vasts amount of money traveling. I am more likly to enjoy a trip if i land in a country with not much more than the clothes i am standing in.

More money doesn't equle more enjoyable. This is flawed.

ermahgerd

shopaholic01 wrote: »

A lot of people assume I'm somehow odd, those who don't know me assume I never had the opportunity and look at me with pity.

I'm the same, I don't want children and have no interest in getting married. I'm also in a long term relationship with a partner who is the same.

What really gets my back up is when people, always parents, turn around when they ask me about kids and are told I don't want them and tell me how "everyone goes through that, you'll change in a few years"...despite me being 26 and with a very good idea of what I do/don't want in life.

It's always fathers though, it has to be said. The same guys who were enjoying life to the max, found out their girlfriend was pregnant with a child they either never wanted or didn't want for years and now suddenly wanted all along

Alfred123

can everyone just shut the fcuk up ! ye sound like a bunch of unhappily marrieds. Those married, go feed yer kids and those not, well, get out there and play a game of footie or something .. just stop it NOW !!!

crazy cabbage

Alfred123 wrote: »

can everyone just shut the fcuk up ! ye sound like a bunch of unhappily marrieds. Those married, go feed yer kids and those not, well, get out there and play a game of footie or something .. just stop it NOW !!!

I dont think you get the point of a discussion board :pac:

CathyMoran

My husband and I have always wanted children but when we were getting married it looked like we would not be able to have them (it also was unlikely that I would be alive 5 years later due to severe health issues), the fact that my husband gave up the chance (he is adopted) is amazing. I became pregnant but then had a series of hertbreaking miscarriages - I remember going into Boots and buying birth control and a pregnancy test and getting odd looks (my husband could not bear seeing us loose another child) - he is 2 years and 5 months tomorrow and we were lucky enough to have a little girl just under 14 months afterwards.

We love them and treasure them - we love seeing them smile and they mean everything to us, helping someone grow up is wonderful.

Scanlas The 2nd

crazy cabbage wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

People in their forties generally make more money than those in their twenties so chances are you would have more money to allow yourself to enjoy travelling more. The kids would be adults do they wouldn't be coming along.

Possible but at that stage you and your partner are also in fulltime employment. How many holidays do ye get. Lets say 20days during the year. You and your partner have to try and get these 20 days off at the same time in order to travel and even then there is no jeting off to america for a year or spending 6 months on mainland europe simply becouse of time restrictions
Or you could quit your job in which case the argument about more money is fruitless

And you comment says 'more money to allow yourself to enjoy travelling more'. That is not the case for most people i know atleast and defently not the case for me. I dont want vasts amount of money traveling. I am more likly to enjoy a trip if i land in a country with not much more than the clothes i am standing in.

More money doesn't equle more enjoyable. This is flawed.

If you wanted to save up to go travelling later in life it's easily done. Not everyone enjoys travelling with no money. You have 50 % of your life without the responsibilities kids when you have kids young, that's a lot of time to fill with hobbies or travelling or whatever you want to do, also your still young enough to enjoy your freedom from parenthood. Say you have your first kid at 36, your in your late fifties by the time they are grown up.

Say you go travelling for years when young, your career is put on hold and you have less money when older to enjoy it. I think that would put your career on hold far more than having kids but still working.

It all comes down to pros and cons of each choice and what you value you now most as well as what you expect to value most throughout your life. A lad I know had four kids by 25 and got a vasectomy, he runs his own business and is better off financially than me, and I have a degree and work in finance. His youngest is two, at age 27 his nappy changing days are nearly behind him forever, on top of that he has te joy of his 4 kids in his life. The oldest are seven and don't take much work to look after. By the time he's 35 he'll be pretty much free of the responsibilities of children.

mattjack

CathyMoran wrote: »

My husband and I have always wanted children but when we were getting married it looked like we would not be able to have them (it also was unlikely that I would be alive 5 years later due to severe health issues), the fact that my husband gave up the chance (he is adopted) is amazing. I became pregnant but then had a series of hertbreaking miscarriages - I remember going into Boots and buying birth control and a pregnancy test and getting odd looks (my husband could not bear seeing us loose another child) - he is 2 years and 5 months tomorrow and we were lucky enough to have a little girl just under 14 months afterwards.

We love them and treasure them - we love seeing them smile and they mean everything to us, helping someone grow up is wonderful.

Cathy I was feeling very miserable today with flu and a kidney infection , but that post has made my smile.

My own four are ,however ,very quiet downstairs,too quiet , even the dog is quiet.

Abi

Alfred123 wrote: »

can everyone just shut the fcuk up ! ye sound like a bunch of unhappily marrieds. Those married, go feed yer kids and those not, well, get out there and play a game of footie or something .. just stop it NOW !!!

Emm.. o_0

/attempts to reply


nahh.. I got nothin'.

crazy cabbage

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

If you wanted to save up to go travelling later in life it's easily done. Not everyone enjoys travelling with no money. You have 50 % of your life without the responsibilities kids when you have kids young, that's a lot of time to fill with hobbies or travelling or whatever you want to do, also your still young enough to enjoy your freedom from parenthood. Say you have your first kid at 36, your in your late fifties by the time they are grown up.

Say you go travelling for years when young, your career is put on hold and you have less money when older to enjoy it. I think that would put your career on hold far more than having kids but still working.

It all comes down to pros and cons of each choice and what you value you now most as well as what you expect to value most throughout your life. A lad I know had four kids by 25 and got a vasectomy, he runs his own business and is better off financially than me, and I have a degree and work in finance. His youngest is two, at age 27 his nappy changing days are nearly behind him forever, on top of that he has te joy of his 4 kids in his life. The oldest are seven and don't take much work to look after. By the time he's 35 he'll be pretty much free of the responsibilities of children.

I guess it all comes down to what you want from life. I am not saying that having kids is a bad thing or anything like that. In fact i think if people make that choics that is brilent.

I take your point about money though. However I perosnly dont see the point in saving up when you are young to go on holidays when you are older. I have a more of a 'live life now and not later' type of attatude.

And while you might be better financhaly having kids when you are younger i dont think it is appropate to make these type of descisions based on money. I dont see myself having children and even if i did i havent met anyone that i would want to have them with anyway. Prehaps my philosophy may change when i meet someone but i dout it.

homerjay2005

some people are made out for parenting,some arent. some kids are the best in the world, some are little c*nts.

i can see both sides of the arguments, kids can be fantastic, but they also cause alot of hassle and drama. a key point to remember however, theres plenty of people out there who have lots of trouble, have no money, no social life or whatever and they have no kids.

one thing though, having a stable relationship, house and financial background is key before bring a child into it. im pretty sure alot of the familys that people see as being problematic are those where the kids werent planned properly or the parents didnt factor in the amount of effort needed.

i do hate parents who are obsessed with their kids and allow nothing else into their lives apart from partenting. a balance is available if they are willing to find it. also, i do not agree with the people who just seemed programmed to settle down, marry and have kids in their 20's, these years are there for learning the world and seeing what life really is about, not being stuck pushing a pram and sleepless nights.

cruiser178

CathyMoran wrote: »

We love them and treasure them - we love seeing them smile and they mean everything to us, helping someone grow up is wonderful.

For anybody who think kids could be too much hassle, the above line is what its all about in a nutshell.

This morning myself and my 16 month old were dancing to Sonique, it feels so good, have you ever seen a 16 month old dancing? it's hilarious.

gsxr1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to7uIG8KYhg

http://youtu.be/to7uIG8KYhg

You would have to have a heart of stone not to smile at this.

floggg

smcelhinney wrote: »

Tell me more about this..

My personal favourite is the chicken curry koka noodle sandwich. Half chicken flavour, half curry flavour, lots of butter and fresh white bread. Unbeatable!

ermahgerd

gsxr1 wrote: »

You would have to have a heart of stone not to smile at this.

I don't think anyone here has said that kids can't be cute at times.

Do you write for the Daily Mail?

gsxr1

ermahgerd wrote: »

I don't think anyone here has said that kids can't be cute at times.

Do you write for the Daily Mail?

Wish I did.

Its moments like that with your own kid that make all the nappies changing worth it.

They are worth the hassle.