Weirdest thing youve seen your neighbours do?

LiamSevenfold

Now I have some pretty normal neighbours but Ive heard man people that talk about their neighbours.. Some stories Ive heard are bizzare to say the least.

Care to share your bizzare or just plain weird tales about your next door friends?..

Hardonraging

Die .... Twice !!

smash

Whack off in the shower with the window open.

frag420

Stare in my bathroom window while I was **** in the shower!!

Dirty perv!!

mikom

LiamSevenfold wrote: »

Ive heard man people that talk about their neighbours

Me hear man people talk about neighbours also....

BunShopVoyeur

You first OP/journalist.

B0jangles

Ours threw a manky oven-ready duck into the garden.

Duggy747

Letting their kids take a poo on top of another neighbour's car / ESB box.

Knackers.

Mr Benevolent

Throwing a brick though a window while shouting about conspiracies against him. We're neighbours from hell.

El Guapo!

Duggy747 wrote: »

Letting their kids take a poo on top of another neighbour's car / ESB box.

Knackers.

What????

Where the fúck do you live??!!

Culleeo

Dear Deidre.
I was watching my next door neighbour's daughter sunbathing topless from my bedroom window.
As I was ****, I turned to notice my wife just standing there,
arms folded...watching me.
Is she a pervert?

hattoncracker

My neighbour sits in his car all day.. doesn't have the radio on, just likes to watch the world go by.. when it's hot out he's Just in shorts so when you walk by the house he just looks like a naked man sitting in his car.

ermahgerd

Plays extremely loud Irish music late every Sunday night for a few hours on end. She lives a very quiet life apart from that, which makes it all the more unusual.

Duggy747

Dean09 wrote: »

What????

Where the fúck do you live??!!

Well, they actually weren't my neighbour, there were neighbours to my mates. The parents were junkies and they had trashed the house, sold all of the landlords furniture off so they were living in a bare house. They didn't give 2 fùcks about the kids.

lookitsme

Culleeo wrote: »

Dear Deidre.
I was watching my next door neighbour's daughter sunbathing topless from my bedroom window.
As I was ****, I turned to notice my wife just standing there,
arms folded...watching me.
Is she a pervert?

dear Culleeo

if she just stood there : yes
if she gave you a hand: no

El Guapo!

Duggy747 wrote: »

Dean09 wrote: »

What????

Where the fúck do you live??!!

Well, they actually weren't my neighbour, there were neighbours to my mates. The parents were junkies and they had trashed the house, sold all of the landlords furniture off so they were living in a bare house. They didn't give 2 fùcks about the kids.

Well I think you win this thread.

spankysue

I didn't actually see this but I did hear my neighbour having rough sex with herself a few weeks ago.

I saw her going into the house by herself then about 10 minutes later I heard the radio on, (Matt Cooper Show), a bed squeking madly and lots of groaning, the dirty bitch

Intensive Care Bear

One of my neighbours has sort sort of a fart fetish. He likes to tilt his arse in your direction and fart really loudly as you walk past him, he then turns around and stares at you like a complete psychopath . He got me twice, the first time he was walking in front of me and i just laughed it off because i presumed he didn't know i was behind him. The next time i was on my way to work and i was walking toward him so i knew he done it on purpose and i have seen him do the same thing to a few other innocent pedestrians. This is definitely the weirdest thing i have seen any of my neighbours do although i am sort of impressed that he can muster up such loud farts on demand.

later12

ermahgerd wrote: »

Plays extremely loud Irish music late every Sunday night for a few hours on end. She lives a very quiet life apart from that, which makes it all the more unusual.

Probably listening to The Rolling Wave on Radio 1, that's on Sunday nights.

In fairness, you can't listen to traditional Irish music on low volume.You have to absolutely blast it for full effect.

fennellryan

My neighbour spends a minimum of five full minutes checking that her front door is locked every time she leaves the house. She presses up against it, touches the door where it meets the door frame and tries to open it with the handle over and over in a bid to reassure herself that it is locked!! She then walks away whilst staring at the door over her shoulder and then ALWAYS goes back TWICE to start the entire process all over again. She also takes out her phone and takes a photo of the door at the very end of all this!! She is nuts!!

tricky D

Neighbour mowing the lawn while I'm on the phone being told he died that morning by local gossiper number 372.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Pikey living next door to me, nice guy who always says hello. Fond of a gargle or 12.

Hear him coming home from the pub one night and his dog barking. He roars at the dog to shut up but it doesn't. More barking and roaring, then a whimper followed by... Silence!

Getting up for work next morning (my bedroom window overlooks his garden) I look down to see the dog strangled dead with the clothesline still wrapped round his neck :eek:

Cassidy28

No neighbours so to speak as nearest house is 2 miles away, but driving by that house a few years ago to work at about 4 in the morning in the summer it was getting bright, as i approached she was painting the entrance to the house and he was cutting the grass, i believe they have since divorced

TheBody

spankysue wrote: »

I didn't actually see this but I did hear my neighbour having rough sex with herself a few weeks ago.

I saw her going into the house by herself then about 10 minutes later I heard the radio on, (Matt Cooper Show), a bed squeking madly and lots of groaning, the dirty bitch

Sure doesn't every woman stroke the taco to the voice of Matt Cooper!!

Grayditch

jar_of_coins wrote: »

Pikey living next door to me, nice guy who always says hello. Fond of a gargle or 12.

Hear him coming home from the pub one night and his dog barking. He roars at the dog to shut up but it doesn't. More barking and roaring, then a whimper followed by... Silence!

Getting up for work next morning (my bedroom window overlooks his garden) I look down to see the dog strangled dead with the clothesline still wrapped round his neck :eek:

Well that's my day ruined.

dirtyghettokid

when i was a teenager i lived near a couple that used to wash disposable nappies and hang them out to dry on the clothes line in their back garden ... yuuuucccckkk!

MusicalMelody

In college i lived in an estate of about 20 houses that where all on one road facing each other. About 5 of these houses where student accomodation and we were always in and out of each others houses.Well opposite my house there was this old man who constantly would get out of the shower and stand naked looking out his window at all of us who had gathered in my sitting room for chats or a cúpan tae... absolute creep he was!It was kind of like the naked guy in friends

WoollyRedHat

fennellryan wrote: »

My neighbour spends a minimum of five full minutes checking that her front door is locked every time she leaves the house. She presses up against it, touches the door where it meets the door frame and tries to open it with the handle over and over in a bid to reassure herself that it is locked!! She then walks away whilst staring at the door over her shoulder and then ALWAYS goes back TWICE to start the entire process all over again. She also takes out her phone and takes a photo of the door at the very end of all this!! She is nuts!!

I do this as well. Except for the picture part, but if I had a camera, I probably would do that as well.

Fenian Army

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

I do this as well. Except for the picture part, but if I had a camera, I probably would do that as well.

So do I, even though I know the bloody door is closed and locked I have to check again.

MusicalMelody

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

I do this as well. Except for the picture part, but if I had a camera, I probably would do that as well.

You don't have a camera phone?? This is you isn't it! You just want to sound less weird:pac:

Abi

Duggy747 wrote: »

Letting their kids take a poo on top of another neighbour's car / ESB box.

Knackers.

Duggy747 wrote: »

Well, they actually weren't my neighbour, there were neighbours to my mates. The parents were junkies and they had trashed the house, sold all of the landlords furniture off so they were living in a bare house. They didn't give 2 fùcks about the kids.

Would someone not have called child protection services? They don't have adequate living conditions or parenting.

leaveiton

One of my neighbours is a clown, so I've seen him juggling fire and riding a unicycle before. Not at the same time, though. That would have been cool.

chrisguy116

Seen my neighbour absolutely fapping to the max standing in the window!.. On a sunday as well I think.. Sure is nothin sacred

Son Of A Vidic

fennellryan wrote: »

My neighbour spends a minimum of five full minutes checking that her front door is locked every time she leaves the house. She presses up against it, touches the door where it meets the door frame and tries to open it with the handle over and over in a bid to reassure herself that it is locked!! She then walks away whilst staring at the door over her shoulder and then ALWAYS goes back TWICE to start the entire process all over again. She also takes out her phone and takes a photo of the door at the very end of all this!! She is nuts!!

Nuts you say? That's a bit rich, especially coming from the person who watched her for those five minutes.

bobin fudge

1210m5g wrote: »

One of my neighbours has sort sort of a fart fetish. He likes to tilt his arse in your direction and fart really loudly as you walk past him, he then turns around and stares at you like a complete psychopath . He got me twice, the first time he was walking in front of me and i just thought laughed it off because i presumed he didn't know i was behind him. The next time i was on my way to work and i was walking toward him so i knew he done it on purpose and i have seen him do the same thing to a few other innocent pedestrians. This is definitely the weirdest thing i have seen any of my neighbours do although i am sort of impressed that he can muster up such loud farts on demand.

what area is this in? it might be me :eek:

ejmaztec

chrisguy116 wrote: »

Seen my neighbour absolutely fapping to the max standing in the window!.. On a sunday as well I think.. Sure is nothin sacred

He was probably working on his sermon.

mud

tricky D wrote: »

Neighbour mowing the lawn while I'm on the phone being told he died that morning by local gossiper number 372.

Reminds me of a night I was (under-age) in a pub and told that my neighbour had passed away. Meandering home when who do I meet only the supposedly dead man. I stared at him and then took to my heels and RAN!

Probably frightened the sh1te out of him

Pa Dee

The lazy fcuk in the house behind me regularly pisses in the kitchen sink to save himself the trip to the upstairs bathroom

ejmaztec

Pa Dee wrote: »

The lazy fcuk in the house behind me regularly pisses in the kitchen sink to save himself the trip to the upstairs bathroom

I was peeling carrots you cheeky swine!:mad:

ArtSmart

dirtyghettokid wrote: »

when i was a teenager i lived near a couple that used to wash disposable nappies and hang them out to dry on the clothes line in their back garden ... yuuuucccckkk!

was it like, a ghetto, or something you lived in?

Smidge

Dean09 wrote: »

What????

Where the fúck do you live??!!

That's nothing!!!
i had a 5 year old take a dump in my front garden.
When I told him to feck off out of it he told me .........................

"I was burstin an me ma will batter ya cause she's in bed an is not gettin up to answer de door for no fuc*in' reason no matter wha, so I had ta go, so fcuk off"

:eek:

Smidge

1210m5g wrote: »

One of my neighbours has sort sort of a fart fetish. He likes to tilt his arse in your direction and fart really loudly as you walk past him, he then turns around and stares at you like a complete psychopath . He got me twice, the first time he was walking in front of me and i just thought laughed it off because i presumed he didn't know i was behind him. The next time i was on my way to work and i was walking toward him so i knew he done it on purpose and i have seen him do the same thing to a few other innocent pedestrians. This is definitely the weirdest thing i have seen any of my neighbours do although i am sort of impressed that he can muster up such loud farts on demand.

This made me laugh out loud :D

MusicalMelody

mishkalucy wrote: »

Dean09 wrote: »

What????

Where the fúck do you live??!!

That's nothing!!!
i had a 5 year old take a dump in my front garden.
When I told him to feck off out of it he told me .........................

"I was burstin an me ma will batter ya cause she's in bed an is not gettin up to answer de door for no fuc*in' reason no matter wha, so I had ta go, so fcuk off"

:eek:

You live in a joyful area

Smidge

MusicalMelody wrote: »

You live in a joyful area

No longer, I'm afraid.

The "joy" was too much for me on a daily basis

SimonTemplar

This is a conversation I unfortuately had with a creepy middle aged neighbour years ago when I saw him in town:

Him: Did you find keys?

Me: Did you loose them?

Him: Yeah, I lost them somewhere on this street

Me: I've just come from Tesco so I haven't seen anything on this street

Him: Actually, I lost them in Tesco

Me: ??

Him (looking me up and down): You're a fine looking young fella

Me: :eek:


Nowadays, I live near this strange old woman in Rathfarnam who I regularly see brushing hedges at all hours of the day and night. Quite sad actually.

Smidge

SimonTemplar wrote: »

This is a conversation I unfortuately had with a creepy middle aged neighbour years ago when I saw him in town:

Him: Did you find keys?

Me: Did you loose them?

Him: Yeah, I lost them somewhere on this street

Me: I've just come from Tesco so I haven't seen anything on this street

Him: Actually, I lost them in Tesco

Me: ??

Him (looking me up and down): You're a fine looking young fella

Me: :eek:


Nowadays, I live near this strange old woman in Rathfarnam who I regularly see brushing hedges at all hours of the day and night. Quite sad actually.

Hope you gave him a dig in the goolies, bloody perv

Pa Dee

SimonTemplar wrote: »

This is a conversation I unfortuately had with a creepy middle aged neighbour years ago when I saw him in town:

Him: Did you find keys?

Me: Did you loose them?

Him: Yeah, I lost them somewhere on this street

Me: I've just come from Tesco so I haven't seen anything on this street

Him: Actually, I lost them in Tesco

Me: ??

Him (looking me up and down): You're a fine looking young fella

Me: :eek:


Nowadays, I live near this strange old woman in Rathfarnam who I regularly see brushing hedges at all hours of the day and night. Quite sad actually.

Thinly veiled I'm a fine looking fella post...

SimonTemplar

Pa Dee wrote: »

Thinly veiled I'm a fine looking fella post...

Actually, I would describe myself as fairly average, certainly not "fine looking", which just made his comments all the more creepier.

Pa Dee

SimonTemplar wrote: »

Pa Dee wrote: »

Thinly veiled I'm a fine looking fella post...

Actually, I would describe myself as fairly average, certainly not "fine looking", which just made his comments all the more creepier.

Thinly veiled I'm a fine looking fella and modest to boot post....

Calibos

Reverse cowgirl.

Bedroom window blinds where down and main lights were off but a bedside lamp on the other side of the room was casting the shadow/silhouette of the lady of the house onto the blinds. Never realised what a great set of bouncing tits she had until then.

Caveman1

fennellryan wrote: »

My neighbour spends a minimum of five full minutes checking that her front door is locked every time she leaves the house. She presses up against it, touches the door where it meets the door frame and tries to open it with the handle over and over in a bid to reassure herself that it is locked!! She then walks away whilst staring at the door over her shoulder and then ALWAYS goes back TWICE to start the entire process all over again. She also takes out her phone and takes a photo of the door at the very end of all this!! She is nuts!!

After doing all that she probably left the windows open :pac: