How to deal with bullys?

dublinman1990

nbar12 wrote: »

This is how...

The bigger kid got worldwide support after what he had gone through from all the crap. It all started when Justin Bieber put that video on his twitter account.

It had gotten huge exposure to highlight the issue of bullying.

The bigger kid who got bullied is named Casey Heynes.

Bipolar Joe

I was bullied for years, it only stopped when all the other kids wound up thinking I was mental. I hate fighting, I'm small and runtish so it's not like I can do much damage, but it was the the true hatred I had for everyone that made everyone back off. It's like I emanated crazy. One kid would kick the back of my chair and throw things at me during class. I turned around and told him, if he did it again, I was going to smash his head against his desk. You could hear a pin drop, the teacher just stood there well aware of what was happening and didn't do anything. Sure enough, the fucker did it again, so I packed my books into my bag, stood up and did exactly what I said I would and walked out. I learned afterwards that entire class was terrified I was going to come back in. I get bullied, and I become the feared one. One part empowering, four parts depressing.

I'm terrified that if I ever have a kid, they'll be bullied. They'll get my shitty genes and automatically become a target and I won't know what to do. I don't want them to feel like they have to be violent just to get through school, but it seems like it's become a fact of life for quite a few children.

TheRealSquishy

Never got bullied myself but my brother has been constantly bullied since he was little. There isn't much I can do since I'm a girl and can't really go around digging the heads off teenage boys and all of his friends are girls.

Earlier this year my mam rang me in hysterics saying my little brother got dragged around the school by the neck of his jumper, put up against a wall and punched in the stomach and then thrown in a bin and spat on. She went to the principal who refused to do anything about it even though they had it all on cctv so my mam rang the gaurds. Since the bully was under 17 the most they could do was appoint him a juvinile officer but it was definitely better than what the school had to offer.

I went and told every single person I possibly could what had happened and now have the whole town hating the bully. My mam also got appointed as chairperson of the parents council as a result by the other parents. People's attitude to bullying has changed since we've seen how much damage it can do to kids and genuinely the best punishment he has gotten is everyone knowing he is a scumbag and treating him as such.

aqn29swlgbmiu4

The worst part is the fact that bullying doesn't stop after primary school and secondary school. It goes on throughout Uni and is often seen in the workplace, at all levels.

I had a horrific time with bullies in my 2nd year in Uni. I was working two jobs 7 days a week and would co-ordinate my lunch hours with my Uni schedule. A "divaaaaa" as she described herself moved into the house I was living in, and proceeded to move in 2 of her horrific mates rent free. I have never met such rotten people in my life as these two. They partied constantly and the house was a constant kip, they spat at me from the windows, stole my food, clothes etc and cos I was outnumbered I never successfully stood up to them. They would laugh in my face when I tried to. Cos I'm pretty meek they walked all over me

It was literally the worst year of my life as the torment I dealt by them left me in a deep depression which resulted in me taking a year out of Uni after a suicide attempt at the end of Semester 2.

I still see them walking around Uni now and they throw sarcastic smiles or wolf whistles my way... I never know what to do or say cos they'll just laugh at me

Smidge

whelan1 wrote: »

most bullies dont lick it off the ground its in the parenting, my son was constantly bullied for 4 years and after the school did nothing i confronted the parents- at this stage my son was having nightmares and wetting the bed due to this asshole- only to be manhandled by the father while i was 8 months pregnant, speaks for itself really

Mistake no 1
You should have done it before you were expecting or after your baby.

Mistake no 2
You should have waited to confront the mother.


I was in a similar situation, son being bullied(primary school but really physical stuff ie being kicked and punched on the ground in the yard), school did nothing despite us trying to work "within school policy" yada yada yada.

My son is a lovely lad, very quite, never in trouble and an "A" student.
He is also SN.

He came out one day and broke down crying in the car, they had beaten him up again.

WEEEELLLLL:mad:

I told him to wait in the car.
I am a very respectable person, imo lol

But these "kids" have messed with the wrong person.
I tore over, collared one of their aul wans and said(in the thickest accent I could muster).......

"Here you, you fat fu*k,
If your young fella puts his hands on my boy again I'm going to knock the bollix out of you and then I'm going to put your teeth down your throat.
And you can pass that on to the bitches of these other scum that the same is for them when you are scandalising at the school gates""



I was shaking when I walked away but they had pushed me to far and the school didn't give a damn.

They never touched him after that:cool::P

PC CDROM

try here http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056709484


Bit of a meandering thought on bullying...or not...

Some Yoke

Bullies are patethic. I had two in school, both losers. The first was a little weed, a coward who would slag and taunt you when he was in a group, you'd never catch him alone. Managed to get him alone and burst him to the ground one day, the big whingey face on him after that.. priceless. Loser #2 was a lad who no one liked cos he was an asshole basically and tried to pick people out and annoy them, he had no limits as to what he'd say. But like I said he was an asshole, he started crying one day because he had no friends. Patethic but hilarious moment.

Bipolar Joe

mishkalucy wrote: »

My son is a lovely lad, very quite, never in trouble and an "A" student.
He is also SN.

Sorry, but what's SN?

Smidge

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Sorry, but what's SN?

Special needs

al28283

Embarass them publically, then warn them you can embarass them at any time. Bullies are very sensitive to what others think of them

Scortho

Yes I was bullied. I managed to overcome it all and deal with it by convincing myself that i was better than them and that I was going places while they would be the ones left behind, that I had my whole life ahead of me.

Never give in to a bully. When you got bullied like I did, you have to learn to ignore them. They feast on the fear they give you. By not showing them fear they forget about you and move on to someone else.

Bipolar Joe

mishkalucy wrote: »

Special needs

Wow, bullying a special needs kid is a very particular breed of scum.

Smidge

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Wow, bullying a special needs kid is a very particular breed of scum.

BP
Every kid that is different if fair game nowadays
Society has gone to the dogs

al28283

mishkalucy wrote: »

BP
Every kid that is different if fair game nowadays
Society has gone to the dogs

Really?
Bullying was nicer back in the day? Special needs kids weren't victims of bullying until recently??

asherbassad

steddyeddy wrote: »

No im not being bullied but according to an article in the Herald a partially deaf boy was bullied so much it caused him to take his own life. This isnt acceptable, every kid has the right to be happy and I dont think many would disagree on that point but many disagree on how to deal with bullies.

I think the vicitm should always tell the teacher but theres not always a lot that the teacher can do. Personally i think the vicitm should always stand up the the bully and I only enountered a bully in school once and giving him a right thrashing was the only way I wanted to deal with it.

Were you ever bullied and how did you deal with it? If not how would and do you think it should be dealt with?

There's no easy answer or quick-fix to this problem. Everyone knows that the only thing that a bully understands is violence and a broken nose will pretty much solve the problem. I was tormented in first year by a third year for a few weeks and after being painted into a corner whereby I had no option but to fight I just went blind with terrified rage and beat him to the point where he was in Temple Street for 2 days. Nobody ever looked at me again after that, and that was at the tender age of 13.....but....and it's a big BUT......all his classmates now started to pick of him for being battered by a kid 2 years younger than him and I just felt dirty and depressed and nauseous about the whole episode. People cheered me for inflicting such thuggery on someone. I was so relieved that I was now to be left alone and not fcuked with but I also felt hollow and miserable and I just wish it never happened. I had to fight, I just wish I didn't have to.

Bullies are pricks and deserve to be put back in their box. But when you batter someone who you later realise was the weaker one, it feels uncomfortable.

Violence is important to stop a bully but I think in small doses. A punch in the guts and then maybe he'll still think he has the edge so a day or two later he'll spit on you or slag off your mother or some crap. Another boot in the shins or crack in the jaw and he'll ease off and say no more. But, yeah, battering the bollocks out of him, while relieving is going to come back to haunt you as it has me.

That said, weaklings and outsiders who can't fight and have no circle of mates to at least provide a bit of backup albeit moral support are the real victims and it's hard to know how to guide them through this sh*tty process.
Wish I had the answer for the underdogs.

MHalberstram

I hit back at one bully that was really giving me a hard time in primary school. Punched him in the face right in front of the teachers desk in the middle of class. He immediately turned to the teacher for help, to which the teacher replied - "Well, if MHalberstram hit you, you must have deserved it."

:pac: - the whole class was delighted, not least the teacher. That kid really was a vile little bully.

Smidge

al28283 wrote: »

Really?
Bullying was nicer back in the day? Special needs kids weren't victims of bullying until recently??

Not sure what you mean

GaryIrv93

I got bullied quite a bit in primary school , likely for being the quiet kid although never too serious from one guy in the class who no one liked much, including most of the teachers. Like all bullies, he would never try anything with anyone including me when he was by himself, only when in a group. He would even act like your best mate when he was on his own.

Anyway it escalated a bit one day during lunch time when was he tried to have a go at me. I snapped, fought back and after getting him on the ground a teaher broke it up, and guess what? I was the one who was punished, despite him starting the whole thing and making my life miserable for years, and other kids watching even tried to explain that I was hit first. The teacher even knew what the guy was like from her own experience teaching him and she was still having none of it. I guess it probably looked like I was the bully as he was the one on the ground while I was hitting him. Anyway He got away scot free while I was just the one standing up for myself after years of taking ****e from him. :mad:

Luckily though he never gave me any more trouble after that and neither in secondary school or from anyone else - I had changed a lot by then, had many good friends and wasn't the timid kid anymore. From my experience, doing my best ignoring and eventually having to fight the bully worked, telling the teacher never did once. The school never did anything, no matter how many times I reported the guy.

Anyway it's high time bullying was taken seriously. From many cases I've seen, the bullying is swept under the carpet by the school, the victim is ignored and told to suck it up until something serious happens to them such as suicide. The Phoebe Prince case is a perfect example of this.

farmboy1130

hello folks,

some of the worst bullying i have seen happen in school was orchestrated by teachers.i knew a lad in secondary school about sixteen years ago, he wasen't one of my best friends, but it seemed like a pretty normal guy any time i spoke with him. the teachers were always ribbing him, one teacher often had go at him about his weight, in front of the rest of the class. he was a heavy bloke alright, but what i noticed was that this led to a lots of other pupils in the class, male and female, following suit and they started to bully him too. at the finish, there was a couple of other teachers having a go at him as well, they would bully him in different ways usually mocking him in one way or another. it saddened me to see it happening; but being a quiet, shy person myself at the time, i was afraid to give out to the teachers about it; in case i would become a target. he left school early and never went back, he came from a minority religion, often thought that might have something to do with it. he seemed to kind of withdraw from society after, never see him around much since.


"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
- Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

tan11ie

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I don't want them to feel like they have to be violent just to get through school, but it seems like it's become a fact of life for quite a few children.

Sad but true.

CoDy1

From what I have seen, bullies work off the encouragement of their peers, who I feel are worse than the bully themselves. Bullies seem to be a pawn for a more sinister group of kids who use them as a source of their entertainment. Unfortunately, neutralising the bully will never end the problem as they will be replaced by another fall guy.

The majority of us have all encountered some form of bullying in different forms, whether it be during school, college or workplace.

Bullies in every instance are scum who prey on people who appear to be inferior and there is no simple solution but in time, the bullied will become the superior.

marshmallowx

Hey guys, this might be wrong place to post but could do with your opinions..I work in a large office and the majority of staff are in my own age range, i get on with everyone and always have the craic, however, I now sit beside an older lady who I don't have much in common with. I try to engage in conversation but she only ever wants to talk about herself..so while I have the Craic with the rest of my colleagues I just don't click with her. She has gone to the boss tellin him im bullying her cause I dont have a laugh with her but do with rest of my and colleagues and so leave her out. I don't purposely leave her out she just only ever talks about herself and I don't want to have to act differently around her but she has now accused me of bullyin I'm tryin really hard with her... My point is.. Is it bullying if just don't click with someone? I didn't think sO but according to my boss I'm wrong...

Smidge

marshmallowx wrote: »

Hey guys, this might be wrong place to post but could do with your opinions..I work in a large office and the majority of staff are in my own age range, i get on with everyone and always have the craic, however, I now sit beside an older lady who I don't have much in common with. I try to engage in conversation but she only ever wants to talk about herself..so while I have the Craic with the rest of my colleagues I just don't click with her. She has gone to the boss tellin him im bullying her cause I dont have a laugh with her but do with rest of my and colleagues and so leave her out. I don't purposely leave her out she just only ever talks about herself and I don't want to have to act differently around her but she has now accused me of bullyin I'm tryin really hard with her... My point is.. Is it bullying if just don't click with someone? I didn't think sO but according to my boss I'm wrong...

You need to sort this asap
Be aware of how you are around this person and keep note of what has been said on both sides.
You may need this to keep your job!

marshmallowx

Thats what I'm afraid of, however when I went to the boss to tell my side he told me he didn't want to hear playground stories!!! I've been keeping a log iof everything but she is such a manipulator I don't think I could ever win against her! The company terms state this is a very serious matter however when I spoke to the boss he told me he didn't have time for such childish problems!!

Oranage2

marshmallowx wrote: »

Thats what I'm afraid of, however when I went to the boss to tell my side he told me he didn't want to hear playground stories!!! I've been keeping a log iof everything but she is such a manipulator I don't think I could ever win against her! The company terms state this is a very serious matter however when I spoke to the boss he told me he didn't have time for such childish problems!!

Maybe tell her that yous are work colleagues and not friends and any further communication between yous will only be about work.

marshmallowx

I tried that!!! She told me if I could be friends with everyone else and not her there was a serious issue! She just won't accept we don't have anythin in common and I just want to be a colleague not a friend to her...

hatrickpatrick

Two things spring instantly to mind:
1: Zero tolerance. You're caught severely bullying someone, you get suspended and your parents get called in.
2: Stop punishing kids for defending themselves.
One of the things which infuriated me as a kid was that if some douchebag threw a punch at you and you hit back, both of you got in the same amount of sh!t. That's absolutely not right, the unprovoked aggressor should always be punished far more harshly, and if the victim was acting in genuine self defense they shouldn't be in trouble at all. Giving kids the idea that the "right" thing to do is to just sit there and take whatever some jerk decides to throw at them is mind numbingly stupid and will inevitably lead to a whole bunch of pushover kids who are totally unable to stand up for themselves.

Vicar in a tutu

Heard that story.. horrible people that bullied him... hope they suffer for the rest of they're lives. he didn't deserve that!... he seemed a lovely kid .. would love for them to be named and shamed..personally i think with bullies you need to hit them very hard and give them a fright as soon as they start, it scares them and hopefully makes them think twice about the people they're starting on next.

Notorioux

hardCopy wrote: »

Standing up for yourself physically is the best idea in my experience. It's unlikely to end with a Hollywood style victory for the little guy but as long as you get a few decent digs in, preferably drawing blood, it's unlikely he'll try it again.

Even if he knows he can beat you it's not worth his while if it means a black eye every time he has a go at you.

Aim for the nose first.

I couldn't agree more! I got bullied a little in school, he stopped when I gave the ****er a falcon punch of his life in front of his gf and mates :pac: He said sorry the next day. :pac::pac::pac:

Alactric

marshmallowx wrote: »

Thats what I'm afraid of, however when I went to the boss to tell my side he told me he didn't want to hear playground stories!!! I've been keeping a log iof everything but she is such a manipulator I don't think I could ever win against her! The company terms state this is a very serious matter however when I spoke to the boss he told me he didn't have time for such childish problems!!

Firstly, a cool head is in order here. If the woman is concocting lies about you, just tell the gaffer the what you know; You haven't a clue what's she's on about. It's plain, simple and the truth. Don't go overboard in trying to prove your innocence, there no need for that...yet. That could arouse suspicion from your boss, who sounds like a bit of mouth all mighty (no offense) he could turn on you quick if she starts batting the eyelashes. Just be calm.

Second, the woman in question. Get away from her ASAP. Don't sit near her, don't look at her, dont talk to her. You've tried being friendly, and not only has it failed, she's taking her own inability to pull the stick out of her arse out on you. If she's as image conscious as she sounds she won't get caught telling outlandish lies about you, just what's plausible (You were seen conversing with one another after all) Don't give her any basis to create a lie. That's not the say she won't go back to the boss with more stories though. Which is why you should hang out with your mates at teabreak or whatever.
Get as much deniability as you can.

Thirdly Discretely inquire about her. She might have pulled this stunt before, maybe with a female co worker? maybe with someone who no longer works there? You might stumble upon a gold mine of dirt on her. (She sounds properly narcissistic, she must have stood on someones toes) Proving it's another matter...but it's not like your boss cares about minor details like evidence now does he?

Finally Here's the cliched bit I guess, keep the head held high. You know your right, and she's lying through her fecking teeth. You sound like a pleasant chap, she seems to go from super bitch to wallflower victim. You have friends...she doesn't. You have all the advantages, wait for her to make her next move. As if it wasn't already obvious, something like this has happened to me (indirectly, I got dragged into it defending someone like you actually)

Long story short, play it safe for now. Be very, very wary if she turns on the waterworks though. You will need to properly acquit yourself if it comes to that, as denial just comes a cross as, well, denial. Report back if it blows up again.

Alactric

Blah, sorry for the wall of text above. Personal experiences and all that jazz :rolleyes: Really hope it helps that lad out though.

Anyway back OT:

I Really don't know how you stop something like this effectively. I'm gonna assume some of the posters above went to schools in towns and cities with larger attendances, because out the country we honestly didn't have a massive problem with bullying in our Primary school atleast.

There was honestly just no tolerating the stuff. It was a very old school, most teachers over 50. So at the time, most of them must have enforced corporal punishment at some point in their careers. They weren't aloud use the stick, but Christ they made up for it in dirty looks and fire and brimstone. It was terrifying, but effective as hell.

I see the violence / non violence argument two fold. With violence, they'll put the bully in his place. It stops the bullying. Problem solved? Right? Well, what if that young fella tells his young fella 20 years down the line how to stop bullying? He'll tell him to use violence as well. And what constitutes "teaching a bully a lesson" 20, 30, 40 years down the line? Sticking a screwdriver in his eye? Of course that sounds melodramatic, but your asking self control of a very young individual, who by definition of fighting back, has reached the end of his tether. It's just too dangerous.

Non violence? I hate the term...but there's a definite element of "hardening up" A lot of the above posters think you have to be Gandhi or something. Not true. Bullies are pure ego, they work in packs, attack when they see weakness, and back the feck off when they see strength. I became very good at being the whole "strong and silent" type. I mean they'd seen me play Gaelic, they knew I could theoretically fight back, but I didn't. It still gave them pause for thought. And that was enough. I just got a bit of "culchie this, culchie that" Just moronic horse ****.

edit: Jaysus another wall, sorry, I need to go to bed...Just getting carried away now lol.

zcorpian88

Can't stand bullys either, they are in my head a stain on humanity, some people make the assumption that the bully has something going on in their lives that makes them want to make others feel bad, which to me makes no sense sometimes as why would anyone want to make an innocent person feel bad but that is just my opinion. Correct if you like I'm open to opinions. The start of the s**t I went through in secondary school I went to secondary school between 2002-2007 and the first of many unfortunate incidents I have shared on here before begins with a person who was a third year trampled on my feet on purpose as I sat outside class one morning, I was a first year then, I being in bad form for being made go to this school in the first place (which has a well known reputation even in local and national media as being a pretty badly run school especially during my presence there!), I told this foot trampling person to "f**k Off" and him being the thug that he is, I got 3 hard kicks to the head as a result, in full view of the schools caretaker. She reported it and what happened? F**k all! not even a detention he got because he wouldn't have went anyway as the disciplinary policy in the school was diabolical, he shows up to school the very next day wearing normal clothes instead of the uniform that everybody else wears.

Went through a lot of other crap too, a lot of it being spiteful, hurtful comments made behind my back and other stuff that was done when I came back to school after a bereavement. Most people say your school days are the best days of your life. Take it from me, that isn’t a good saying. Bullys are plain dickheads, and it needs to be stamped out. Honestly if schools are going to end up this way I fear for the future. If anywhere a person should feel comfortable it should be in school.

Alactric

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Can't stand bullys either, they are in my head a stain on humanity, some people make the assumption that the bully has something going on in their lives that makes them want to make others feel bad, which to me makes no sense

This is actually really interesting. There's a kind of portrayal of bullies in the media as being chubby, mop haired big kids who just go after lunch money. All of them I've met were just fecking sadists. If they were 3 or 4 years older would be locked up.

I wouldn't be surprised if the school staff were actually just plain afraid of the fella you've described. We had guys like that too, they were basically just asked to leave school, and please don't come in anymore. Expelling them was literally too much of a pain in the ass.

Bad Panda

If it's a couple of kids then you need to stand up for yourself.

I was being bullied by a slightly older kid when I was young. Little knacker he was.

One day I went up to him and beat the living sh1t out of him.

He never went near me again, but he never learnt his lesson. Went on to graduate from skanger school nonetheless and last I heard he was in prison. Useless pr1ck.

Just thought I'd share. It's the only way that ever worked for me.

newmug

I got bullied all the time in primary school. I never saw it as bullying really though, because everybody got the same treatment off this group of assholes. These were big GAA heads, and there was 2 families of them, so you had a gang of eight or so bullies, all related, who used to go around tormenting people. I was lucky in that I was big, so I could defend myself. I used to kick the sh1t out of them whenever they would come near me. I also got the sh1t kicked out of me regularly. One day, my father was picking me up from school. He saw me being jostled and pushed around as I headed out for the car. I peeled one of them with a box and ran to the car, no way was I taking this sh1t in front of him. I thought he'd kill me when I got in, but it turned out he was proud of me after seeing what happened.

But the whole experience shapes you. When I got into secondary school, I stood out like a sore thumb as a bully target and I had to face a whole new set of assholes, people I never saw before in my life! Its like they instantly knew I was already fairly isolated. Secondary school bullying was far worse. It turned way more personal, people throwing stuff at my house, people ringing the house phone at all hours aswell as all the usual physical stuff. I nearly got expelled for fighting back several times.

And then it follows you into adult life too. In jobs and in social settings, pubs etc., people can sense that you have a barrier up. They somehow know that you once did, or are still likely to use physical force if nescessary, and they stay away from you. YOU become the feared one. Its a viscious circle. I never thought crap like this would extend into adult life, I thought once you hit 18, everybody becomes mature and responsible, but there ya go.

I recently met an old primary school bully in a pub. He said to me that his kid is being bullied, and that he never realised the impact it has. He said he wakes up at night having nightmares, he wets the bed, he cries going in to school, he wont separate from his mother, he wont mix with other kids, all because there's a group of little pr1cks picking on him. And then, out of the blue, he apologised for all the hassle he gave me as a kid!!!!!!! I said to forget about it, its like a hundred years ago to me. He revealed that the main reason they bullied me was my size, they all felt threatened by me and didnt know what else to do. There ya go!

silverharp

steddyeddy wrote: »

No im not being bullied but according to an article in the Herald a partially deaf boy was bullied so much it caused him to take his own life. This isnt acceptable, every kid has the right to be happy and I dont think many would disagree on that point but many disagree on how to deal with bullies.

I think the vicitm should always tell the teacher but theres not always a lot that the teacher can do. Personally i think the vicitm should always stand up the the bully and I only enountered a bully in school once and giving him a right thrashing was the only way I wanted to deal with it.

Were you ever bullied and how did you deal with it? If not how would and do you think it should be dealt with?

Fr Mackey said Darren had attended the School for the Deaf in Cabra during his education, while his siblings attended the Holy Family school in Swords.

in this case the child attended a school for the deaf , so wa it more a case of being bullied by the local skangers were he lived?

af_thefragile

I wasn't really bullied at school mostly cuz i didn't let myself be bullied. There was this big guy who joined our class and he quickly became the school bully because he was the biggest and post powerful of all the kids. All the kids would kiss his ass and suck upto him except for me. I just used to stay away from him and he would pick on me at times but i wouldn't let myself get bullied. It sorta meant towards the final year of junior school i had very few friends left because everyone were sucking upto the big bully kid and i wasn't gonna do that and would rather just stay out of it all. I would have loved to beat the **** out of him but i was a wee lad and the bully kid was onevof the strongest kids in the school who used his size and strength to muscle and bully other kids.

I'm pretty sure now he's in some gang doing drugs n ****.

Pumpkinseeds

I was a sick kid during my first year in secondary school and I missed a lot of school time, so I hadn't made any real friends. I was being bullied and taunted on a daily basis. Being so ill made me very self concious and I never said anything. One day I'd had enough, the main instigator was sitting at her desk in front of me during a free class, with no teacher present. She launched into her ususal routine and everyone started laughing as usual, glad not to be the ones on the receiving end.

Something in me snapped. I grabbed her by her ponytail and repeatedly smacked her head off her desk, forcefully. I'll never forget how quickly they stopped laughing at me and started chanting 'hit her, hit her'. The worm had turned and by Gods it felt good. I had to leave the room and walk home, I was afraid I'd kill her. The bullying ended that day. Nothing was reported to the school either. Bullying doesn't end until the victim fights back.

anncoates

Milani White Topaz wrote: »

The worst part is the fact that bullying doesn't stop after primary school and secondary school. It goes on throughout Uni and is often seen in the workplace, at all levels.

I had a horrific time with bullies in my 2nd year in Uni. I was working two jobs 7 days a week and would co-ordinate my lunch hours with my Uni schedule. A "divaaaaa" as she described herself moved into the house I was living in, and proceeded to move in 2 of her horrific mates rent free. I have never met such rotten people in my life as these two. They partied constantly and the house was a constant kip, they spat at me from the windows, stole my food, clothes etc and cos I was outnumbered I never successfully stood up to them. They would laugh in my face when I tried to. Cos I'm pretty meek they walked all over me

It was literally the worst year of my life as the torment I dealt by them left me in a deep depression which resulted in me taking a year out of Uni after a suicide attempt at the end of Semester 2.

I still see them walking around Uni now and they throw sarcastic smiles or wolf whistles my way... I never know what to do or say cos they'll just laugh at me

How awful for you.

I honestly think the only thing these people understand is fear as hat's what they prey on themselves.

zcorpian88

Alactric wrote: »

This is actually really interesting. There's a kind of portrayal of bullies in the media as being chubby, mop haired big kids who just go after lunch money. All of them I've met were just fecking sadists. If they were 3 or 4 years older would be locked up.

I wouldn't be surprised if the school staff were actually just plain afraid of the fella you've described. We had guys like that too, they were basically just asked to leave school, and please don't come in anymore. Expelling them was literally too much of a pain in the ass.

Never had my lunch money taken, I think that is a American bully term, have never seen an Irish kid have their lunch money taken, I wouldn't let a bully take anyones lunch money if I seen that happen, to me that would be deemed mugging which is downright unacceptable, the kid would have to go hungry for the day which would totally suck, you need a full stomach going to class or your attention in class drifts away, reason why most experts say breakfast and lunch are important for school going kids.

The dude that kicked me in the head was a traveller so yeah the staff may have been afraid as you say but something should have been done what wrecked my head was I showed up to school and this guy continues to break the rules that everyone else obeys and nothing was said about the incident in the days afterwards like it was forgot about, If I have children and that happens them or anything similar there will be hell to pay for. Didn't have to look at the traveller thug for too long anyway, he left the school at the end of 3rd year anyway, like most of them do!

Colmustard

I was never bullied, but I never bullied anyone either, its handy being big and easy going I suppose. I really think the best way of dealing with bullys is hitting them back and as hard as you can even if it means a hiding.

As for work bullys whom you can't hit and depend on them for your lively hood, I suppose every situation is different, but the straight approach is what I think is best, tell them and let them know how you feel.

The truth is people treat you the way you let them.

pathtohome

Women are so lucky they don't have to deal with it.

NegativeCreep

pathtohome wrote: »

Women are so lucky they don't have to deal with it.

Tell that to the family of Phoebe Prince.

mr_edge_to_you

Take a dump in the bully's shoes.

pathtohome

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Tell that to the family of Phoebe Prince.

Looked it up.. That was in America. In Ireland it's different, the worst women get is name calling. Nothing physical most of the time.

laoch na mona

simple if someone says or does something to try put you down tell them not to do it again if they do knock them out

blacklilly

pathtohome wrote: »

Women are so lucky they don't have to deal with it.

I was bullied from the age of 5/6 to about 12, went to a small country primary school and every single kid in the class bullied me, it was a mixed school. I was kicked in the face by the boys, spat at, called names, laughed at etc. I tried to stand up for myself but because I literally had no friends it was very difficult. I left primary school in the middle of sixth class and went to work in an equestrian center as I did not have the capacity to deal with it. I was suicidal when I was 12 and even attempted on two occasions to take my own life.

In the years since primary school all but two of these bullies have sincerely apologised to me for the hurt and pain they caused me.
I look at myself now and I'm incredibly lucky that secondary school was a positive experience for me, I have a good education, good job and great friends. I do not tolerate bullying and will always speak up for people who I believe are being treated unfairly.

Sometimes I still get angry that my childhood was over shadowed by this but I've managed to move on and count myself lucky that I had the ability to forgive and let go of the hurt.

NegativeCreep

pathtohome wrote: »

Looked it up.. That was in America. In Ireland it's different, the worst women get is name calling. Nothing physical most of the time.

I think it's different in every school you go to. In my experience girls get it a whole lot worse physically and mentally. Girls care a lot more about what people say and take it worse when someone calls them a name than a boy would. That's only my experience though

laoch na mona

pathtohome wrote: »

Looked it up.. That was in America. In Ireland it's different, the worst women get is name calling. Nothing physical most of the time.

what kind of fairytale do you live in

pathtohome

laoch na mona wrote: »

what kind of fairytale do you live in

Are you saying females in school getting physically abused is anywhere near as common as it is for males? I repeat your quoted question to yourself.