How many people here know someone who committed suicide?

will.i.am

Well I know of a few in my home town in the past couple of years and earlier this year a cousin of mine that I went to school with from play school up until 3rd year. We were different people and never really clicked and he went down the the wrong path. I feel sorry for his family tough I say his mother and grandmother for the first time last week and by speaking to them for just a few minutes I knew there were different people. I then started think of all the people I met at my first year in college and almost everyone of them had being effected by a suicide.
So, how many people out there has affected by a suicide?

Hersheys

I've lost a few people to suicide.

I've also attempted suicide. Don't judge. When you're at rock bottom it seems like the only way out.

I'm in counselling now & not suicidal but I'm still losing people to suicide.

Sucks.

Dangerous Man

I know a couple. It's a bad business.

I doubt there's many who don't know someone who died by suicide. When ya find out it was suicide it's like an extra kick in the nuts in case just finding out they were dead missed one.

Cookie_Monster

No one that I know very well, and nobody that I can think of acquaintance wise either at the moment

manlad

One of my cousins a few years back, was a year older than me, which shocked me alot more. You don't know what frame of mind these people are in unless you have been there yourself.

gsxr1

Young lad who worked with me. Only 17 and he was found swinging from the ceiling . I wish I copped on that he was so depressed . Was stairing me in the face but I choose to ignore it.
I cant forget him after 6 years.

Its a bad selfish act which leaves nothing but lifelong pain for parents, family and friends.

Nasty stuff.



I once saved a lad trying to leap of a bridge . Over a woman. He went on to be quite successful in life. But does not know me..

strokeslover

I lost a cousin to suicide, absolutely no idea as they seemed as cheerful as ever in the days before. It just shows you don't know what thought are running through peoples heads or how they are really feeling inside. So sad.

strokeslover

gsxr1 wrote: »

Its a bad selfish act which leaves nothing but lifelong pain for parents, family and friends.

And the parents often blame themselves for what has happened.

The Big Red Button

gsxr1 wrote: »

Young lad who worked with me. Only 17 and he was found swinging from the ceiling . I wish I copped on that he was so depressed . Was stairing me in the face but I choose to ignore it.
I cant forget him after 6 years.

Its a bad selfish act which leaves nothing but lifelong pain for parents, family and friends.

Nasty stuff.

I wouldn't agree that it's bad or selfish.

Of course it's a horrendous thing to deal with, for those left behind. But it's not done with the intention of causing that sort of pain to family/friends.

I can't even imagine being in so dark a place, that ending my life would seem to be the preferable option. It's horrific to think the amount of mental pain and suffering you'd have to have gone through to get to that point.

I would think that, to be at such a low point, you'd be in so much pain that you wouldn't even be able to quite get your head around the extent of the grief that would result from your death. It's not an act of selfishness, moreso of desperation.

MadsL

I've lost one friend and a friend's brother to suicide, recently a close friend of mine lost a former colleague.

All young guys in their 20s.

I read recently however (and please don't take this as me diminishing the prevalence or the devastating impact of suicide) that an estimated 30% of male hanging suicides are auto-erotic hangings gone bad. So not all apparent suicides are intentional.

Source here

chatterpillar

chatterpillar wrote: »

I wouldn't agree that it's bad or selfish.

Whatever about the reasons or intentions are the act itself is the most selfish act anyone can ever do.

BOF666

I had a cousin that killed herself about ten years ago.

I wasn't too close to her (she lived in a different part of the country) but I know her family still haven't recovered from it.

SharpshooterTom

gsxr1 wrote: »

Its a bad selfish act which leaves nothing but lifelong pain for parents, family and friends.

I hate this attitude that it is a selfish act. A lot of people kill themeselves because they feel they are a burden to their loved ones and feel killing themeselves will help other people as they wont see them depressed and miserable no longer.

That was certainly the case when I attempted suicide back in april, because I felt a failure to my parents and didn't want them to see the failure that was me and felt like me being no longer around they wouldn't have to put up the pain with seeing me cry anymore. Since then I have had therapy which is ongoing but I'm no means out of the clear though.

The problem with depressed people, and I speak as this to myself, is that a lot of suicidal people aren't thinking rationally in the first place so its not really fair to judge them in such a way.

jeepers101

gsxr1 wrote: »

Its a bad selfish act which leaves nothing but lifelong pain for parents, family and friends.

Nasty stuff.

Its opinions like this that leaves suicide and depression such a taboo in our society. This needs to change before people can feel comfortable asking for help.

Sunnyisland

I have known a few, Very sad as in the cases I know of it was totally unexpected, and to this day no obvious reason comes to mind,Figures show 525 people took their own lives in Ireland in 2011, an increase of 7 per cent on the previous year.Bearing in mind that up to 80 per cent of those who die by suicide are suffering from a mental health difficulty, this neglect of mental health services is nothing short of scandalous,”

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=sucides%20in%20ireland%202011&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&ved=0CD4QFjAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejournal.ie%2Fnumber-suicides-ireland-cso-517632-Jul2012%2F&ei=PDpIUMWmMMK7hAfB2oCABg&usg=AFQjCNEOgnd6pgW8j7BNeek1V_TSqcjt-w







The Samaritans are available at 1850 60 90 90 or by email at jo@samaritans.org. Other contact numbers which may be helpful: Aware – 1890 303 302; Console – 1800 201 890; Pieta House – 01 601 0000.

EchoO

gsxr1 wrote: »

Its a bad selfish act which leaves nothing but lifelong pain for parents, family and friends.

It's an act of desperation and despair, I wouldn't be so judgemental as to it call it selfish. You have to factor in mental illness. The majority of people who commit suicide are suffering from mental illnesses such as clinical depression, personality disorder and schizophrenia. Suicidal thoughts are often systems of these illnesses. Without an underlying mental health problem it's very unlikely that someone would commit suicide.

.

positron

I knew an Easter European person living in Ireland many years ago - he was about 7 foot tall and was built like a tank. And he worked every day for his Irish employer doing all sorts of jobs - when I say work, the man was seriously a hard worker - he would put up entire kitchens in one day and stuff like that. At the same time, he was a big softie too - simple and straight forward sort of guy. He had relationship issues simmering away at the back boiler for many years, can't see his daughter enough etc. He used to talk to me about it time to time. I then move away from that town and lost touch with him for a few years. And recently I heard that he committed suicide. I am going to be forever guilty for not doing more for him. He deserved better. RIP old friend.

hattoncracker

When I was in 3rd year in secondary school a guy in my class committed suicide.. He was one of the best looking guys in our school. 15.

A year later a 16 year old boy killed himself too. And a group of lads in my year had to stop another lad from throwing himself in front of a lorry. He was 17.

Every year in my old secondary school there's at least one. It's a real issue.

My aunt tried numerous times to kill herself after miscarriages.

Edit:

Can't believe I forgot this one. My sisters boyfriend killed himself when she tried to break up with him. She got blamed for it and still does.

Real Life

i know a lot that did it. a lot of people seem to think its selfish but i think its selfish of those people to expect someone in that frame of mind to keep living just to keep everyone else happy.

haydar

I have had three people within in a half a km radius commit suicide within a couple of weeks of each other a couple of months.

The two men were middle aged with families and they were friends!

The woman was pregnant!

They all must have been suffering immensely to have taken that final step.

Awful pity.

Sierra 117

I knew a lad who killed himself. This was 10 years ago. I wasn't a close friend or anything but we went to the same school. He was around 14/15. I think he killed himself on St. Patrick's Day. From what I've heard, he asked his mother what time the dinner would be ready and then just went upstairs and shot himself.

I don't think anyone knows why he did it.

M cebee

maybe 6-8 people i knew over the years
closer to home my sister was victim in murder-suicide

Joey the lips

Most recently.... Neighbour.

It was not nice

CruelCoin

One.

Gods, he was a selfish twat.

johnayo

I know 2 people that committed suicide in the last 9 months. One of them, a young man only a couple of weeks ago. Again, depression was the main factor. So sad for his family who are suffering so much now. We will never know what was going through his mind on the run up to his death.

Biggins

Sadly I do.

Mr. CooL ICE

No close friends or relatives, but know two who did.


This is the worst thread to open first thing in the morning. My porridge is ruined

Armaghmagic

My first cousin committed suicide when he was 19 after failing some exams and didn't want to put his family through the hurt of paying for the repeat fees. If only he knew the hurt he was going to put them through.

His 30 year old brother then committed suicide 16 months later

Plazaman

strokeslover wrote: »

I lost a cousin to suicide, absolutely no idea as they seemed as cheerful as ever in the days before. It just shows you don't know what thought are running through peoples heads or how they are really feeling inside. So sad.

I think this is the worst part of suicide, where everything seems normal and the person seems outwardly happy days or even hours before the event. It always puts a question in the minds of those who knew them, "could I have done or said something?".

It always amazes me that there are no adverts about suicide prevention. We're told to belt up in cars, don't smoke, drink wisely but nothing ever about suicide. I don't know and wouldn't begin to imagine what feelings are stirred right in the moments before someone decides "this is it" but in my naievity I wonder would a campaign to "Take One More Day" or "Make One More Phone Call" be of any benefit. Obviously this needs people who've been there to advise and a few marketing moguls to put together. I'm just saying it wouldn't not help now would it

af_thefragile

I heard of a guy in my college who committed suicide. He had no friends and everyone just used to ignore him. Then everyone in his class showed up for his funeral.

It made me wonder about people. I see how engrossed people can be in their lives, with their group of friends, i rarely see people in my college willing to reach out to others and make new friends. Even if they do, they may talk to them in college but will never bother inviting them to anything or make them a part of their social group.

I have to say the Irish are some of the worst at this. There are very few Irish kids i see who are willing to reach out and speak to, be friends with the foreign folks. Most of them jut stick to themselves and if the person isn't into the whole going out/drinking scene, then he's very much left out of the whole social scene. Which i what i really hate about the people in my college that is you aren't into going out every other day and getting plastered, then you will have absolutely no social life and will end up very much left out with no friends.

It seems like if you're in college here, the only way to be acceptible and have a social life is to go out partying with "the crowd" and get drunk every other day. If you don't do that, very quickly you'll find yourself with no friends and no social life whatsoever...

Just an observation through my years in college...

seven_eleven

My friend and my distant cousin, as well as a few other people in the town that I wouldnt personally know but Id only know to see or I went to school with etc.

The thing with my friend was that I copped he had problems. I noticed he was depressed, and I did nothing but distance myself from him for nearly a year and a half before he did it. I had suffered from depression myself before so I wanted nothing to do with him at the time. It was quite selfish of me. I guess I never thought he would actually do something like that.

The_Kew_Tour

Know of 4 people on my road at home alone. Young and Old.:(

I was in dark place myself last year. Didnt have the courage(not right word in sense, but you understand) to do it.

What really changed it for me was when Gary Speed died last November. I remember I was waiting for bus into town on Navan Road and when I heard it I started to cry. Didnt get on bus, but walked and just realised that its not just me in life who has problems. Never supported any teams he played for, but here was guy who seemingly had it all.

I was going through Health scares and all at time so my mind was in bad way. But my Family and Friends had been awesome at time and now im in better place. Million miles away from where I had been.

I wrote in soccer forum at time that there is help and people do care. But sometimes you have to reach out. Trust me people will listen and to anyone feeling down, but hiding it, I advise you to talk. Dont be afraid. There is no shame in feeling down and this country has great people who can help you. Be that family, friend(s) or somebody else.

ruthloss

A local man took his own life with a shotgun. People were speculating that he had financial problems but nobody really knows the truth.
Who knows what awful pain the poor man was suffering to think the only way out was to end it all.

Guill

3 close people, over ten when you count people i knew.

Lollipops23

Thankfully I don't know anyone who's committed suicide; some friends of friends etc, but nobody I know well.

I try not to judge, it's not something you can fully understand unless you've been there.

the_syco

Know of one. He owed a few grand to dealers, didn't see a way out, and jumped in front of a train. His family would have taken the loan out to pay his debts, but he never asked.

I consider it selfish when people involve other people in their death (in this case the train driver).

af_thefragile wrote: »

It seems like if you're in college here, the only way to be acceptible and have a social life is to go out partying with "the crowd" and get drunk every other day. If you don't do that, very quickly you'll find yourself with no friends and no social life whatsoever...

Just an observation through my years in college...

I find that there are two groups of people in college; those that join a society, and makes friends through that society that you then go drinking with, or those that drink with people from their class and make friends that way. Thus anyone that is in college, I fully recommend that they join a club or (non-alcoholic) society.

OldNotWIse

Yup, one

Odysseus

Yeah a good few lads I grew up with had gone that way, also due to the nature of my work I loose a few clients every year.

I always boggle at the mentality of people who condemn it as selfish because "how will their families feel". This person is so depressed, so much in pain, and so much on the edge they want to overcome that innate instinct to hang on to their lives, and all you're concerned about is how you feel. That is selfish.

No, I don't know someone who did, but I did talk someone out of it a long time ago.

I also didn't do it by complaining "but how will I feel?"

Lawrence1895

Somebody, I went to school with, took his own life. He went down the Route66 with his Harley, and left a message behind, that he had nothing to look forward to anymore.

mickstupp

One friend. I was in the pub with him, playing pool, a couple of hours before he did it. It was strange, first time he was sober and not on some sort of drugs for a good five or six months. He seemed happy that day. Besides him, a very distant relative. Plenty of people who friends/relatives know.

On the selfishness point... I think people harping on about it is pretty terrible. I can't speak for others, obviously, but whenever I was suicidal or depressed, remarks about the selfishness of the act just drove me further into myself, into hiding what I was going through. I already felt so much misplaced guilt that remarks like that just made me feel even more needlessly ashamed and miserable.

Surprisingly enough, it doesn't help the issue.

When people point out the selfishness of the act, it can feel very much like an accusation when your brain isn't rightly screwed in. It's a judgement on you before you've even done anything. You're being made feel guilty on top of everything else. When we're lucid and fine, sure, we can see it's selfish, of course it is. But the way it's said very often feels so dismissive and judgmental, completely lacking in empathy. I know it's not usually said like that... but that's how it can feel.

Podgers

I know 3 people close to me (2 within the last year)

I could never understand why someone would commit suicide until I found myself in the position of attempting it. you know its wrong and selfish but you don't think like that, its like a one track vision. you cant help how you feel and just want the pain to end, you don't see any way out. I didn't tell anyone only my counsellor.

You only get one chance with life, but many times to re-create it. I sat down one evening at the table with a blank page and a pen, this is my canvas if I start all over again with nothing what would i like to do? places I would like to go to, a sort of a bucket list. so far within a year i have done more things than I had done in the previous 10 years. I look back every now and again and think that if i did go ahead with suicide all the things I would have missed out on, family events, new friends I have met and places I have gone to.

as Lance Armstrong said "Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."

TURRICAN

I lost a close friend,and a work mate.
Never saw the latter one coming. Sometimes it's the ones who you think are fine are the ones with the bigger problems.

flyswatter

I can't really think of anyone surprisingly.

There was a brother of a friend from school who did but he wasn't one of my closest friends so I only found out from another friend last year.

TURRICAN

ruthloss wrote: »

A local man took his own life with a shotgun. People were speculating that he had financial problems but nobody really knows the truth.
Who knows what awful pain the poor man was suffering to think the only way out was to end it all.

That's one thing gets on my nerves is people speculating etc.
Doesn't matter , it's too late.
Why didn't they try see if they could be a better person to him /her in the first place, then they probably wouldn't have had to speculate.

Alot of Irish mentality needs to change.

fox_1973

Brother in law and a very close friend, in the space of 3 months of each other, neither would of been seen as depressed, money worries mostly

irishgrover

my wifes college roommate, who was also our bridesmaid. A wonderful person who took her own live almost 7 years ago.

rainbow kirby

Neighbour killed herself 6 years ago and took her children with her in the process.

eviltwin

I lost a friend to suicide 7 years ago. I was out with her the night before in the pub and everything was fine, she gave me a hug as I was going to the bus and told me she would call me later in the week and the next morning I was woken by a call to say she had taken an overdose. I have no idea to this day why and that's the hardest part. Thinking we might have been able to help her if only we had known.

I know a lot of people who have either tried, or succeeded, in taking their own lives. It's something that has been on my door step too many times.

For those who think it's selfish, it's usually quite the opposite, people who are in that state often think they are doing their loved ones a favour.