Farter or Fartee?

staker

Going to sleep in the bed last night after an indian meal, I let one rip and as customary shook the quilt to relieve the pleasant odour upwards.
Herself got quite agitated at this and slunk off to the spare bed in a huff, cue the argument this morning that it should've been me that got evicted to the spare room.
I don't see what the problem is tbh-I got there first with my fart and give me anything hot and spicy I'm gonna expel undesirable smells...
Am I being unreasonable here? Who really should've moved to the other room?

Max Power1

Dutch oven fail tbh

davet82

your OH should leave you for good imo

FatherLen

she slept in the spare bed because of a fart?!?


jesus it must have STANK

fifipie_d

I have had a few nights where ive had to sleep in the spare room due to himselfs escaped wind. I find it's easier for the victim of the smelly abuse to leave. If i make him get up out of the bed the whole room will get covered in fart. If he stays put, it's usually contained under the duvet. Plus he's usually back to sleep before ive even reached the door haha. I never give out to him about the next day though, we just have a laugh about it

Mr.Crinklewood

Just fart in both rooms.

McGooeyBum

Could she not have just opened the window for 5 minutes? Surely it wasn't that bad to sleep in another room!

staker

FatherLen wrote: »

she slept in the spare bed because of a fart?!?


jesus it must have STANK

McGooeyBum wrote: »

Could she not have just opened the window for 5 minutes? Surely it wasn't that bad to sleep in another room!

Call me immature but I was quite proud of it- it was rancid:o

Like the fart in two rooms option:pac:

ronan45

Look men are allowed to let rip but women are not. Age old rule.

ejmaztec

Isn't this a breach of the "better or worse" clause? Must be a solicitor willing to take this on.

Plazaman

FatherLen wrote: »

....jesus it must have STANK

It's well known that a naan filled vindalooed arsé biscuit would shift a wild Grizzly Bear if he was beside you. Something about Indian spices that make bottom burps more potent. Of course once you let rip and bake your chuff puff under a duvet, the high temperature containment area only serves to rancidify said trouser cough and in this case OP's OH would have been well within her rights to kick him out for his anal acoustic shenangans. You'd do well to keep your blanket bombs in check good sir from here on in.

McGooeyBum

staker wrote: »

Call me immature but I was quite proud of it- it was rancid:o

Like the fart in two rooms option:pac:

Ha! If it was rancid to you then it must have been really bad for her
Next time tell her to open the window and not be such a grumpy fart :pac:

jester77

That's why you should always keep some Fabreeze on the bedside table. After you let one rip, lift the duvet and spray. Prob best to give a double spray in instances like the OP above.

norrie rugger

what's the point of the farter going to the next room. They have already contaminated the first room so the fartee has lost the room anyway

Muckit

3 Words.......LAMB ROGAN JOSH

kfallon

Did she mark your farts before she left by any chance?

"Nice loud fart but lacked a bit of eggyness for my liking so for that reason I'm only giving it a 7!"

Rented Mule

fifipie_d wrote: »

I have had a few nights where ive had to sleep in the spare room due to himselfs escaped wind.

It didn't escape....it was sent forth into the universe.

kfallon

Rented Mule wrote: »

It didn't escape....it was sent forth into the universe.

Liberated is the word I'd use!

Remember folks it's better to have an empty house than a bold lodger!!!

admiralofthefleet

should have baked it for a while longer then let it go. or added in some ale for a truly eye watering fart

BizzyC

Unless you move to the other room pre-fart, I dont see the point in you moving.
The room already smells, only way your missus will escape it is she goes to the other room.

kfallon

Next time, if both of ye are awak, put a worried look on your face, turn to your missus and say,

"Shhhhhhhh, listen, did you hear that?"
"What?" she whispers
*Paaaaaaaaaaarp*
"1-0"

Rented Mule

kfallon wrote: »

Next time, if both of ye are awak, put a worried look on your face, turn to your missus and say,

"Shhhhhhhh, listen, did you hear that?"
"What?" she whispers
*Paaaaaaaaaaarp*
"1-0"

I'd be afraid of that match going into injury time.

Feeona

Typical fart world problem :rolleyes:

ejmaztec

Having given this some serious thought throughout the day, I can now assume that the main reason she took off to the spare room, was because the OP may have a history of following through, with the particular stench triggering bad memories?

Abi

staker wrote: »

Going to sleep in the bed last night after an indian meal, I let one rip and as customary shook the quilt to relieve the pleasant odour upwards.
Herself got quite agitated at this and slunk off to the spare bed in a huff, cue the argument this morning that it should've been me that got evicted to the spare room.
I don't see what the problem is tbh-I got there first with my fart and give me anything hot and spicy I'm gonna expel undesirable smells...
Am I being unreasonable here? Who really should've moved to the other room?

Jesus, drama much?


Tell her she always farts in her sleep. And they're the wet ones.

Thumby

Your OH switching rooms i get, the starting on you over it this morning seems to be a bit much to me though.
Is it wrong that i now want Indian for dinner tonight now? Lol

Bipolar Joe

She seems like no fun at all.

antodeco

Ah jesus, if that was my moth, she'd have moved out YEARS ago! The trick to do is fart out in the landing, then the moment you get into bed, fart. She will flee into another trumpet mist and wont be able to escape

IM0

OP this was your GF way of telling you she doesnt want any kids

TheStook

Whenever I fancy a girl that I'm never gonna get I just imagine her doing a rancid fart and I'm usually put off after that.

Thats my take on the matter.

Fart

Is there a third option?

3ndahalfof6

your lucky you had a quilt and a spare bed.

admiralofthefleet

do a devils banquet on her next time, that will shut her up. literally

staker

Plazaman wrote: »

It's well known that a naan filled vindalooed arsé biscuit would shift a wild Grizzly Bear if he was beside you. Something about Indian spices that make bottom burps more potent. Of course once you let rip and bake your chuff puff under a duvet, the high temperature containment area only serves to rancidify said trouser cough and in this case OP's OH would have been well within her rights to kick him out for his anal acoustic shenangans. You'd do well to keep your blanket bombs in check good sir from here on in.

Outside of ramming a beer bottle up my arse there was NO keeping that one in the stickhouse last night.

ejmaztec wrote: »

Having given this some serious thought throughout the day, I can now assume that the main reason she took off to the spare room, was because the OP may have a history of following through, with the particular stench triggering bad memories?

As I sleep in the nip that thought had occurred to me as soon as it was out. Had a quick check when she left but thankfully no Ferrero Rocher.

IM0 wrote: »

OP this was your GF way of telling you she doesnt want any kids

Too late:p

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

do a devils banquet on her next time, that will shut her up. literally

What's this devil's banquet? I'm not going to bed until I find out how much work it involves.

Fart wrote: »

Is there a third option?

Keep out of it Fart! You started this shit:mad: