Awkward situations

MarthaMyDear

So was in the lift in work yesterday with another co-worker and a customer who had a child in a pram. There was the usual awkward lift silence which my co-worker tried to break by talking to the child. The conversation went like this.

Co-worker: Hi! Are you helping your mammy do some shopping?
Child: Yes
Co-worker: Awww..are you the best boy?
Child: *confused face*
Mother: ........she's a girl
*awkward silence*

This was followed by the longest 5 seconds of my life waiting for the lift to stop. I was trying not to laugh so badly because the tension was really just too much. The customer then stormed off the elevator and my poor co-worker went off in the opposite direction red in the face.

What's the most awkward situation you've been in?

SocSocPol

Most recent was on Saturday with my 12 year old daughter.Was browsing through some books at a charity book stall in Tesco, Millfield when she asks me at the top of her voice"Dad, you know that book 50 shades of Grey that everyones going on about, what is about"?.
Large crowd arounfd the stall all stared at me waiting to see how I got out of it. Bleedin mortified:o

Prick!

SocSocPol wrote: »

Most recent was on Saturday.Was browsing through some books at a charity book stall in Tesco, Millfield when she asks me at the top of her voice"Dad, you know that book 50 shades of Grey that everyones going on about, what is about"?.
Large crowd arounfd the stall all stared at me waiting to see how I got out of it. Bleedin mortified:o

Did you get out by beating one out?

mikom

SocSocPol wrote: »

Most recent was on Saturday.Was browsing through some books at a charity book stall in Tesco, Millfield when she asks me at the top of her voice"Dad, you know that book 50 shades of Grey that everyones going on about, what is about"?.
Large crowd arounfd the stall all stared at me waiting to see how I got out of it. Bleedin mortified:o

Paintin'

MarthaMyDear

SocSocPol wrote: »

Most recent was on Saturday.Was browsing through some books at a charity book stall in Tesco, Millfield when she asks me at the top of her voice"Dad, you know that book 50 shades of Grey that everyones going on about, what is about"?.
Large crowd arounfd the stall all stared at me waiting to see how I got out of it. Bleedin mortified:o

My granny asked me could she borrow it. Ermmmmm no.

Doodoo

I was in a petrol station and the woman on the till recognized a man she hadnt seen in a while..

Woman on till: Hi xxxx
Man: Not to bad
Woman on till: How is your mother keeping?
Man: She died at xmas
Woman on till(red face):Oh God, how is your dad coping?
Man: He died two months ago.....
Woman on till: I am so, so sorry
Cue awkward silence

I nearly pissed myself trying not to laugh.

Rigol

hmmm....i feel op's pain...the lift silence has to be the most awkward moment in life.

I imagine a serial sex offender being sat in a room of victims in silence as part of a court agreement would be roughly the same level of awkwardness.

Fenian Army

Met a girl on a night out, went back to hers, anyway the next morning she wakes me up and says her parents will be up soon (!?) and I'm to say I slept on the couch cause I didnt have money for a taxi home and that we know each other from college.
I was tempted to just leave there and then, but she said she'd give me a lift home if I waited.

Ok says I. Anyway it's all going grand, her parents buy it, then suddenly her dad says he is going to go and empty the bins in the house, off he goes. She reminds me that there's "evidence" in the bin from the night before in her room. Sends me off to clean up while she distracts her dad.

Panicking I rush to her room and grab the condoms from the bin, head into the jacks and try to flush them down the toilet. Disaster, the fcuking thing clogs up.

Then her dad knocks on the door and asks if everything is ok. I have to explain to him that the toilet clogged up

"How the fcuk did that happen?" says he

I couldnt think of anything so I tell him I had a dump and this is the result. The look on his face.

We head down stairs and he whispers to to his wife, the look of disgust. I couldnt leave because she had offered me lunch and was in the middle of making it, needless to say the next 40 mins was very awkward.

wellboy76

Fenian Army wrote: »

Met a girl on a night out, went back to hers, anyway the next morning she wakes me up and says her parents will be up soon (!?) and I'm to say I slept on the couch cause I didnt have money for a taxi home and that we know each other from college.
I was tempted to just leave there and then, but she said she'd give me a lift home if I waited.

Ok says I. Anyway it's all going grand, her parents buy it, then suddenly her dad says he is going to go and empty the bins in the house, off he goes. She reminds me that there's "evidence" in the bin from the night before in her room. Sends me off to clean up while she distracts her dad.

Panicking I rush to her room and grab the condoms from the bin, head into the jacks and try to flush them down the toilet. Disaster, the fcuking thing clogs up.

Then her dad knocks on the door and asks if everything is ok. I have to explain to him that the toilet clogged up

"How the fcuk did that happen?" says he

I couldnt think of anything so I tell him I had a dump and this is the result. The look on his face.

We head down stairs and he whispers to to his wife, the look of disgust. I couldnt leave because she had offered me lunch and was in the middle of making it, needless to say the next 40 mins was very awkward.

Go on ya horse

Shryke

A guy I know who worked in a nursery store was serving a couple and asked when the baby was due. Ya, she was just fat. Awkward. The husband got a bit flustered apparently. "What do you mean, sure isn't that the baby there?!" :pac:

splendid101

I was out in my friends house and told him I wanted to change the sh'te music he had on.

He said, no, "I'm the one who chooses the music here" etc.

I started slagging him, "don't be such a music Nazi".

I turned around and his German housemate is standing in the room behind me, shaking his head is disapproval.

Maybe not the most awkward situation, pretty bad gaffe all the same.

montyrebel

In a pub and bump into someone who i havent seen since I left school, about 10 years or so.
he is year for a guys stag do that i sort of know, I turn around and ask him, sure who would marry him.


My sister was not the answer I was expecting

Mickey H

A rather awkward situation is when you do your shirt up in a hurry (!) and one side is lower than the other. You're talking to someone and you realise that they have copped but nothing is said by either party. Truly awkward.

wp_rathead

This one time in Thailand....

Fuinseog

MarthaMyDear wrote: »

So was in the lift in work yesterday with another co-worker and a customer who had a child in a pram. There was the usual awkward lift silence which my co-worker tried to break by talking to the child. The conversation went like this.

Co-worker: Hi! Are you helping your mammy do some shopping?
Child: Yes
Co-worker: Awww..are you the best boy?
Child: *confused face*
Mother: ........she's a girl
*awkward silence*

This was followed by the longest 5 seconds of my life waiting for the lift to stop. I was trying not to laugh so badly because the tension was really just too much. The customer then stormed off the elevator and my poor co-worker went off in the opposite direction red in the face.

What's the most awkward situation you've been in?

sounds like something Pat kenny would say.

Mickey H

wprathead wrote: »

This one time in Thailand....

Hello Gary.

cynder

Was in a international phone centre ( in Ireland) making a long distance call, I was the only one in there it was around 8pm, I finished the phone call went to pay and I was wondering why he was handling the change one handed I looked down behind the counter to see a big black dick staring me in the face, with his hand going 2 to the dozen. he says you want to give me a hand, I get my change and run.

wyndham

cynder wrote: »

Was in a international phone centre ( in Ireland) making a long distance call, I was the only one in there it was around 8pm, I finished the phone call went to pay and I was wondering why he was handling the change one handed I looked down behind the counter to see a big black dick staring me in the face, with his hand going 2 to the dozen. he says you want to give me a hand, I get my change and run.

That's more sex offender than awkward situation.

spankysue

I probably shouldn't be telling everyone or even anyone this but this is the single most awkward situation I've ever been in.

When I was in my early twenties, I had to move back in with the folks for a short period of time. Before this, I'd lived on my own for a couple of years and when I moved back home, I brought a chest of drawers with me. Contained in these drawers, wrapped in a towel, was my Rampant Rabbit.

So, me mam kept getting onto me to sort out these drawers, get me clothes in order and I kept putting it on the back burner. Then I came home one night and she confronted me in the kitchen, told me she'd cleaned out the drawers for me. I'll never forget the conversation that followed, "I found a towel.." My face goes red, "Oh", "With something in it... what is it?"

With that, I bolted up the stairs, half with embarassment, half to contain my laughter..... had to tell her the next morning over breakfast what it was, she looked so innocent when she asked me what the bunny ears were for

say_who_now?

Mickey H wrote: »

A rather awkward situation is when you do your shirt up in a hurry (!) and one side is lower than the other. You're talking to someone and you realise that they have copped but nothing is said by either party. Truly awkward.

Worse again is when you're half cut in the club, you go to the toilet and you want to get back out on the dance floor in a hurry, so you have your zip and your belt done back up, back out on the floor...

When a hot girl points out that your front shirt flap is sticking out the zip of your pants! :pac:


Not me, happened to a friend, i swear!

fasttalkerchat

Working in a shop I learned not to speak to customers who are buying flowers. They're always for a dead wife. Always!

Mickey H

cynder wrote: »

Was in a international phone centre ( in Ireland) making a long distance call, I was the only one in there it was around 8pm, I finished the phone call went to pay and I was wondering why he was handling the change one handed I looked down behind the counter to see a big black dick staring me in the face, with his hand going 2 to the dozen. he says you want to give me a hand, I get my change and run.

I read this and instantly thought this.

fasttalkerchat

I'm not a fan of racist jokes anyway but first week of college having a few beers with my new housemates and one had just discovered sickipedia. He read out a few before reading a (quite poor) racist one... forgetting that one of our housemates is black.
Well this is awkward... what made it worse is that he's black and Irish so it wasn't like he could say its fine, we laugh at Paddy Irishman jokes too. He just said its fine lads. And we went to bed shortly after.

Senna

I work at weddings in a hotel, a few years ago a couple were getting married and i asked them do they want me to play an entrance song when the couple are announced into the reception, so they tell me they will drop in a CD the night before the wedding. On the day of the wedding i get the CD and stick it on to make sure it works, it was only one track and it was the worst song you have every heard in your life. Really really bad heavy metal with a load of cursing, i just assumed the song was maybe an "in-joke" with their friend. As the guests started to arrive all i seen was little old ladies and hardly any young people. I started getting worried seen i'm the one whos going to introducing them and wondering did the couple give me the right CD.
So when they arrive at the hotel i ask them about the CD and they said yeah thats the song. Seen this had never happened before (its usually the same old songs) i wasn't sure what to say, so i figured i'd just be honest, i dont think the song is suitable and i'm not sure the guests would appreciate it. Turns out the groom is in a band and this is a single he released:o

Mickey H

Senna wrote: »

So when they arrive at the hotel i ask them about the CD and they said yeah thats the song. Seen this had never happened before (its usually the same old songs) i wasn't sure what to say, so i figured i'd just be honest, i dont think the song is suitable and i'm not sure the guests would appreciate it. Turns out the groom is in a band and this is a single he released

You could have un-awkwarded the situation by saying: "Hey man, I think this song is absolutely class, but I dunno if it would be their cup of tea. Can I have a copy?"

midlandsmissus

Shryke wrote: »

A guy I know who worked in a nursery store was serving a couple and asked when the baby was due. Ya, she was just fat. Awkward. The husband got a bit flustered apparently. "What do you mean, sure isn't that the baby there?!" :pac:

I'm actually really thin, but was on holidays there a few weeks ago,and wearing a halterneck maxi dress along with having had a big lunch was obviously not the best combination.

Went to check in, and the non-english speaking check in girl gestured at me and said 'Pregi?' I was like 'What?' till a few more gestures and 'pregi?' and I realised what she was on about.

I was like 'No' and laughed, I wasn't embarassed because ultimately I know I'm not fat, but it got really awkward because I didn't really know how to recover the situation! She looked mortified, my cheeks went red, and awkwardness abunded.

As she was then hurriedly trying to give us our tickets, she turned to her male colleague and they had a foreign conversation with her giving embarassed smiles.

My friend and me at the time, afterwards said, it was the universal language of some-one having done something really mortifying. We were imagining her telling him 'I asked her was she pregnant and she wasnt',and him going 'ya big ****ing egit!' in their own language.

Anyway I think she was asking me because she was considering me for priority boarding so I should have said yes!

Rayne Wooney

Me and a few lads always went to the Aquatic Centre years ago, I must have been 11-12 at the time. There was a gorgeous life guard that worked there and we knew her from around, she was only 5 years older than us so we all thought we had a chance. Anyway we were all trying to impress her as young lads do, we were going on the slide the "green giant" I think it's called, the life guard was at the end of the slide so we could have a chat when we got down, me being the bravest I pushed my friends aside and I jumped on the slide first so I could be first to talk to her. When I got to the bottem I failed to notice my swimming shorts had slid down south... so I was now wearing them around my knees....I stood up confidently and walked over to her, she immediately goes red and starts laughing, I look down, and I'm sure you can picture the rest.

How lucky I was she was the only one around to witness this but how devastating that it had to be her of all people. At that age I admit I hadn't got a "green giant" down there.. it was more like a little dipper. I went straight to the dressing room got my clothes and walked home from Blanchardstown. I have never returned to the Aquatic Centre and haven't seen that girl since.. But I know one day I'll bump into that life guard somewhere, it's inevitable. And that moment will be very, very awkward.

RossyG

I was on a work-related training course at a hotel and the cheap bastards didn't even provide food.

There seemed to be another firm there with a room full of food so me and a girl I'd palled up with gatecrashed. We filled our plates and started filling our faces and a man came up to us and asked who we were.

I decided to bluff, gave my name and said, "From Cineworld. We all are, aren't we. This is the Cineworld meeting, isn't it?"

"No," the other feller says, "it's a wake."

Oops!

MarthaMyDear

My workplace seems to be great for awkward situations! Was in there today and had told the other girl who works with me who I'm very friendly with that I'd give her a call for a chat on the work phone as soon as the manager had gone home.

The manager rang her about switching hours just before she left and thinking it was me, my friend answered the phone by saying "Oh she's finally gone is she!!"

Mortified. The manager then knew I'd been planning to call her for a chat the minute she'd left...on the phone I'm not meant to use. Very awkward trying to explain that one.

I immediately thought of this thread!!

Wacker The Attacker

I shagged my best friends sister a few years ago.

I thought he'd never forgive me after he'd found out what had happened

splendid101

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I shagged my best friends sister a few years ago.

I thought he'd never forgive me after he'd found out what had happened

Any use?

Pherekydes

My mother was ill a few years back and went into hospital. My cousin, who works in the local SQ was sympathising with me. A few weeks (3, I think) later I bumped into her again:

Her: How's your mother?
Me: She's dead. Didn't you hear? <brother> told Uncle Brian and he said he'd tell your Dad.

Cue shock and awkward silence.

Kraftwerk91

say_who_now? wrote: »

Mickey H wrote: »

A rather awkward situation is when you do your shirt up in a hurry (!) and one side is lower than the other. You're talking to someone and you realise that they have copped but nothing is said by either party. Truly awkward.

Worse again is when you're half cut in the club, you go to the toilet and you want to get back out on the dance floor in a hurry, so you have your zip and your belt done back up, back out on the floor...

When a hot girl points out that your front shirt flap is sticking out the zip of your pants! :pac:


Not me, happened to a friend, i swear!

You think that's awkward? I've lost count of the amount of times I've rushed into college in the morning (fully sober) only to realise after an hour or so that my fly had been undone the whole time! One time a friend informed me of it (loudly) in front of a load of my friends. :-[

BillyMitchel

After bringing a much much more mature woman home and giving her the time of her life, its time to leave. So its probably about 7ish in the morning and shes walking down the stairs and we bump into my mother. My mother is looking at this woman so hard that she missed the step up and falls flat on her face. Loud bang and seconds later my old man, sister and nephew are all just standing there looking at this woman while my mother scraps herself off the stairs while the oul one runs out the door!

smurgen

rode an older woman, I was 24 and she was 38. Was after a night out and had drank a half litre of gin before even getting to the first pub. To make a long story short I woke up in the morning in a giant puddle of piss with her passed out next to me. We have mutual friend and regularly bump into each other. We neveer did and never will dicuss me pissing her bed.

jessiejam

smurgen wrote: »

rode an older woman, I was 24 and she was 38. Was after a night out and had drank a half litre of gin before even getting to the first pub. To make a long story short I woke up in the morning in a giant puddle of piss with her passed out next to me. We have mutual friend and regularly bump into each other. We neveer did and never will dicuss me pissing her bed.

Is that you <insert name> you owe me for a mattress. Piss ass.

godtabh

Meeting my girlfriends father for the first time and showing him my Galaxy tab and how fancy it was only to discover that last page I was on the internet was a porn site. Took me about 5secs to close the page but felt like a life time

tylercollins

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I shagged my best friends sister a few years ago.

I thought he'd never forgive me after he'd found out what had happened

Did that with my ex girlfriends sister and thought the same.. :eek:

Mick Electric

Met a female acquaintance in a bar who I had known was pregnant. Rubbed my hand over her belly with a smile saying "it won't be long now". "I had it 2 weeks ago" she says.

mauzo

Most awkward moment of my life!

Went on a date with a guy, went great. We had a great night and went back to his.

Got the ride obviously, bit of anal aswell.

Anyway, we wake up the next morning and I go to roll over on to my stomach to talk to him....

I let out the biggest fart you've ever heard in your life. I was mortified! I just mashed my face into the bed, he said nothing! I kept saying in my head 'please laugh or something'!!! I blame the anal

RossyG

mauzo wrote: »

I let out the biggest fart you've ever heard in your life... I blame the anal

That's the difference between humans and ovens: ovens don't fart when you pull out the meat.

wp_rathead

mauzo wrote: »

Got the ride obviously, bit of anal aswell.

PM sent

:pac:

areyawell

I was trying to hop the back wall into a nightclub once when I was 17. Except the wall was 12ft and was too drunk too do it. There was a smaller wall around the side but had to hop a 8 foot fence first with spikes on top but werent sharp. Anyway I got up on the railing and tried to ease myself off it and the spike got stuck in my jeans. I was literally hanging off the railing for around three hours feet dangling in the air unable to free myself. Phone was dead and thought I was gonna be there till morning. (It was Langtons in Kilkenny beside the tax office, I'm sure some people on boards know where I'm on about). Someone must have seen me and rang the gaurds. Gave me a lift home then, there was never a more awkward silence than that in my life.

Mr Benevolent

mauzo wrote: »

Got the ride obviously, bit of anal aswell.

Your Boards.ie stock just shot up. Unless you were using the 'ol appliance on him, in which case your stock has plummeted.

IceFjoem

About a year ago I was in Zara in town having a look around, I think I was waiting for a friend to arrive so I was just kind of browsing. It was pretty quiet in the shop, maybe only 4 other customers.

Anyway, I walked over to a shelving unit with a few bottles of aftershave on it. I took one off a shelf that was a bit above head height (I'm about 6ft). I had a good look at the bottle, it was a bulky glass thing, and of course had a sniff (as you do). Just as I was putting it back up onto the shelf, out of nowhere a toddler runs over to look at the shelf of bottles and kind of pushes his way in between me and the shelf.

I just glanced down for a second, but it was however the very second that I was releasing my grip on the bottle. Thinking I was placing it gently back on the shelf, I missed the shelf by about an inch and the bottle fell and cracked the kid in the head with a thud!

The kid started absolutely wailing and ran over to his mother a couple of meters away (who hadn't seen it happen). I turned to the mother to explain what had happened, but couldn't really get a word in as the mother was so concerned looking for signs of injury on the child. Still in shock from what had happened, I moreless mumbled something about a bottle accidentally falling and that I was really really sorry. The mother pretty much ignored me and just gave me a furious scowl! (The whole time me thinking the Gardaí are gonna be called, cause she still has pretty much no idea what I did to the kid!)

She started leaving and I basically tried to keep my head down and moved towards the other end of the shop. The child was still screaming though and the security guard and manager approached the woman to see what the commotion was all about. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I'll never as long as I live forget seeing that woman pointing from across the shop at me (proper "she's a witch" style) with the most furious look on her face, and the two staff members turning to look at me as if I was the scum of the Earth.

One of the most ferociously awkward moments I've ever experienced.

IceFjoem

About a year ago I was in Zara in town having a look around, I think I was waiting for a friend to arrive so I was just kind of browsing. It was pretty quiet in the shop, maybe only 4 other customers.

Anyway, I walked over to a shelving unit with a few bottles of aftershave on it. I took one off a shelf that was a bit above head height (I'm about 6ft). I had a good look at the bottle, it was a bulky glass thing, and of course had a sniff (as you do). Just as I was putting it back up onto the shelf, out of nowhere a toddler runs over to look at the shelf of bottles and kind of pushes his way in between me and the shelf.

I just glanced down for a second, but it was however the very second that I was releasing my grip on the bottle. Thinking I was placing it gently back on the shelf, I missed the shelf by about an inch and the bottle fell and cracked the kid in the head with a thud!

The kid started absolutely wailing and ran over to his mother a couple of meters away (who hadn't seen it happen). I turned to the mother to explain what had happened, but couldn't really get a word in as the mother was so concerned looking for signs of injury on the child. Still in shock from what had happened, I moreless mumbled something about a bottle accidentally falling and that I was really really sorry. The mother pretty much ignored me and just gave me a furious scowl! (The whole time me thinking the Gardaí are gonna be called, cause she still has pretty much no idea what I did to the kid!)

She started leaving and I basically tried to keep my head down and moved towards the other end of the shop. The child was still screaming though and the security guard and manager approached the woman to see what the commotion was all about. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I'll never as long as I live forget seeing that woman pointing from across the shop at me (proper "she's a witch" style) with the most furious look on her face, and the two staff members turning to look at me as if I was the scum of the Earth.

One of the most ferociously awkward moments I've ever experienced.

sligoface

not the most awkward ever, but once I was eating dinner at my girlfriends house, where i had recently been allowed to stay over at the weekends. anyway she was vegetarian, no one else in her family was or myself. her mum had made a meatless version of what the rest of us were having and we were talking about the whole vegetarianism thing for a moment as her mother brought out my gf's dinner. her mum's contribution to this conversation was to sing the lyrics of a song that used to be played on the radio which goes "She don't eat meat but she sure likes the bone!"

Poor dear had no idea what the lyrics meant or why all of us burst out laughing.

castletownman

Went back to an older lady's house a while back. I'm 24, she was a separated 31 year old. Next morning anyway she said she had to go off for a few minutes but said that since it was raining I could hang around the house and leave when the rain stopped. Anyway, I'd obviously forgot that she told me the night before that she had to mind her two young daughters that day and so had to collect them in the morning. I was there thinking jeez that's lovely of her to be letting me hang around till the weather gets better, and decided to watch the telly downstairs in just my jocks and socks (the old romantic in me coming to the fore). Cue her arriving into the sitting room with the two daughters to be confronted by me lying on the couch in my virtual naked state with some obvious marks from the night before clearly visible.

She had the wherewithal to react quick by sending them upstairs immediately and I managed to pull a blanket over me when I realised the situation. Actually ended up getting on really well with the two daughters, but by fook did it start awkwardly.

Micky Dolenz

I was out for dinner recently and saw two men sitting down at a table near by. Turned out it was Bono and a mate. I rushed over and asked Bono's mate to take a pic of me and Bono, to which he duly obliged, to be fair. I thought he looked a bit odd as he wore a funny hat.

It was only when leaving the restaurant, was it pointed out to me that Bono's mate was in fact the Pope, I was morto.

Cheeky_gal

My dad got an invitation to the Ryder Cup when it was held in Ireland. He brought me as my mum couldn't go. I was 15 or so.

Anyways we were all in a limo on the way home, myself and my dad and a few of his clients. I hadn't been to the toilet in hours and I had been drinking gallons of water all day..

So I accidentally peed in the limo.

gabsdot40

Doodoo wrote: »

I was in a petrol station and the woman on the till recognized a man she hadnt seen in a while..

Woman on till: Hi xxxx
Man: Not to bad
Woman on till: How is your mother keeping?
Man: She died at xmas
Woman on till(red face):Oh God, how is your dad coping?
Man: He died two months ago.....
Woman on till: I am so, so sorry
Cue awkward silence

I nearly pissed myself trying not to laugh.

I did something like this once, asked someone how their mother was to be told she died. the thing is I have no idea how I didn't know the woman had died. Everyone around me knew and had even been to the funeral. My husband even knew.

Another awkward experience was an excruciating half hour spent at my MILs house with my BIL and his estranged wife. They had been separated for about 18 months in which time she had a baby with another guy. The baby was being passed around and cooed over, (fine) and everyone was pretending like there was no enormous elephant in the room. The mad thing was my MIL had invited her in an attempt to play happy families because it was Christmas. SIL was obviously so uncomfortable and seeing BIL holding the 'love child' of his wife and the guy she left him for was just awful.