Anonymous open letter to co-worker.

Rigol

The idea of the thread is to vent your silent indignation that youve been carrying around for those people you are forced to be around in work.

I know there has to be some lols from bottled up hatred out there.

Change names if need be and its probably best not to do this on a work network or be too specific.


Heres mine.

Dear Ms X, At times in this life we are afforded the chance for everything to click together nicely. Whether it be a Sunday morning or a warm autumn evening.
However, at these precise moments we are often faced with the likes of a fly buzzing round our dinner or perhaps we may step in a dog turd.
You Ms X are that dog turd, you are the missing sock, you are the door to door salesman when Im in the middle of a dump.
Your sullen joyless expression is that of a thousand funerals.
It is obvious that you are a woman in her 40's who hasn't had one since her 20's. Your petty trolling seems to flow from you on an unconscious level.
Your wish came true when my otherwise very handy number was postponed, the additional work load is easy to bear in comparison to your constipated gaze and pettiness.

Have a good day, pleasure to have worked with you.

AnonoBoy

Cries of Colleagues....

You should join the Ranting and Raving forum my friend.

kfallon

Dear Miss 'X,

That time I fingered you in the jax during lunchbreak and you wouldn't even give my willy a few tugs......you heartless bitch!

That is all!

3ndahalfof6

while I love you and think we could have a good future together, I am not sure your flashing lights will be enough to keep me interested,

but call me when you join Amstrad.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Dear John

I pis.sed about a shot glass amount into your water bottle when you asked me to fill it up.

You are a cnut and no one likes you!

3ndahalfof6

Hi Jane, your going to get a call from the boss, dont panic just answer his questions,

while I am here, how come you got sweat marks on your viginmusthavea.

SteveUnderhill

Greetings, colleague. We are Anonymous. We are legi.... Oh wait, not that kind of Anonymous open letter?

Red Hand

Hi lads/lassies! Just popping in to say ye are best, and I'm lucky to know ye, my treasures.


See ye tomorrow!

Cee-Jay-Cee

Dear xxx

I write this letter as I can no longer bare to have you walk about without knowing the contempt I and the vast majority of others who have the misfortune of working with you feel as you come into work each day. Your nasally drone chills me to the bone, your horrible crackly laugh grates on my nerves. Your constant bragging about your accomplishments (which no one believes), your incessant stories about holidays, your children, your car and your wealth bore each and every one of us to tears. We all look forward to the days when your sick or on leave, we all usually go out to lunch to celebrate every day that your not in. I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I know your due in. I hate you sofa king much, you make my blood boil but you'll never know who write this as every single one if us feels the same way. Please please resign and give us peace, please you hateful bitch.

Nulty

benwavner wrote: »

Dear John

I pis.sed about a shot glass amount into your water bottle when you asked me to fill it up.

You are a cnut and no one likes you!

WTF? And you think your any better for it?

Lando Griffin

Dearest Miss x
I am dictating this letter to you to tell you that you stink at your job and stink in the bog.
Yours
Anonymous

Sofaspud

Dear everyone I work with,
You all seem quite lovely actually, and make the sh!t job that everyone hates slightly easier to get through. Keep it up!

Wacker The Attacker

Dear Colleagues

I f**king hate youse c**ts

Yours hatefully

Wacker

(p.s abby. except you. I want to shag the fanny off you)

Wacker The Attacker

kfallon wrote: »

Dear Miss 'X,

That time I fingered you in the jax during lunchbreak and you wouldn't even give my willy a few tugs......you heartless bitch!

That is all!

You fingered tracy piggot???

You dirty bastard

MaxSteele

Dear Mr. Private Pile who walks like a ballerina

None of the staff ever liked you, I doubt the current ones would either.
You were always a bully and a hateful cnut. Surprise surprise, from what I hear you still are.
Apparently you're even worse at the same job than those you're above and bark at.
Remember that Xmas when I found you stuffing your face with function room food in the pitch dark storage room ? That's because you knew everyone would call you the fat cnut you are.
You have a gap tooth and a lisp which is even more hilarious when you get angry and frustrated. Probably because you're fat ..... and sweaty.

Sincerely MaxSteele.

Giselle

Dear ****

You're a lovely man and genuinely very caring and kind. You have lots of lovely qualities, and that makes what I'm going to say next all the more difficult.

You smell. Really, really badly. You made my eyes water on occasion, and I'm relieved I had to quit.

Since the office is in a basement and relies on air-con, it lingers. It makes it hard to listen to you, stomach churning to be next to you, and hard to appreciate any aspect of you, at all, other than the B.O. I wouldn't be so hurtful if it didn't mean that everyone was avoiding you. I don't know how you don't know this.

Please get more acquainted with the soap and antiperspirant, for your sake as well as everyone else's.

Sorry

Napper Hawkins

Dear Napper,

You are unemployed and have no co-workers to speak of apart from Jerry, the spider who lives above the mirror in your living room.

Good luck with that.

Napper.

nbar12

Dear Mister "I'm Too Good To Call Or Write My Fans",
This will be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
About that guy who could a saved that other guy from drowning
But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you could a rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late, I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
See Slim, I can't work with you any longer, please just resign

emzolita

Dear X,
Please have a wash, and wear another pair of trousers, not the same pair everyday!
Also, your job doesnt involve you sitting and sueprvising the rest of us doing work, even if you pass it off as "learning"
Also, the kids in work hate you, you're terrible at your job.
X wuv you

augustus gloop

dear x
the amazing level of non comprehension of your body odour is baffling to me. i have yet to meet someone can smoke as much fags and spliffs as you, and still time after time invade my personal space. your actually not a bad bloke bar the open mouth eating that you do at lunch time. im sorry but i feel like sliting your throat at that point everyday.
regards A

kfallon

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

You fingered tracy piggot???

You dirty bastard

It's not her I am referring to, she would have defo given my willy the full treatment

le la rat

Dear Napper
How come you spend all your time with jerry the spider but never seem to give me the time of day as I rustle in your bins. FYI redtube is better than porn hub
Roland le la rat

Yakult

Dear XYZ

That was my sandwich, MY SANDWICH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Napper Hawkins

le la rat wrote: »

Dear Napper
How come you spend all your time with jerry the spider but never seem to give me the time of day as I rustle in your bins. FYI redtube is better than porn hub
Roland le la rat

Dear Roland le la rat,

It is my business who I spend all my time with and FYI, Jerry kills any annoying flies that may invade my home and for that I am eternally grateful.

You, on the other hand, are a rat and I don't want to catch super rat aids or whatever it is you vermin are infected with.

Yours,
Napper.

PS. Tube 8 is better than both.

RossyG

Dear Shirley,

The word is "specifically" not ****ing "Pacifically" you stupid thick bitch.

Love Ross x

WumBuster

Joe(that is his real name),
You're a feckin bollix. I wish for once you would just shut the feck up nobody wants to hear about your ****ed up life and crazy conspiracy theories. Get yourself seen to before you drive us all mad.
peace

Mr.Crinklewood

Dear Deb,

Please don't judge me on what you saw at the church earlier.

I now know that i love you, and not in the brotherly way.

xx

Regards,

Dexter.

Gongoozler

I never realised so many people smelled.

I feel a bit weird writing a letter in here, but here goes:

Dear bitches at work,
Stop being bitches.

Thanks
One of the non bitches