What is the most ridiculous lie you have gotten away with?

Yunnie

ballsymchugh wrote: »

seriously, why the fook would some guy want to stick his mickey into his own mouth?

He didn't he got paid a bucket of money to do it, kind of like why would a cam girl want to get naked for a loser on camera.

De Hipster

Once gate crashed a party* with the 'Don't you know who I am' line ...worked a treat.

The manager of the venue & the marketing guy for Citroen WRC team were extremely apologetic - the bouncer who had originally (correctly) turn us away was not convinced & none too pleased at being trumped by senior more gullible management!






*Sebastian Loeb's WRC title winning party in Wales circa 3yrs ago - my thing, but not quite hollywood!

ArtSmart

summerskin wrote: »

Me and three mates phoned ahead to a popular nightclub in Manchester which always had huge queues (and lots of very hot and easy girls who were hoping to pick up a footballer as a conquest) and I pretended to be the agent of four Australian golfers that were over for the British Open the following week. I gave the names as Shane, Wayne, Duane and Bruce, saying that they preferred not to give their real names as they wanted to avoid the paparazzi as two were married.

Sure enough we were put on the guest list, walked to the front of the queue, admitted to the VIP area and were given a bottle of champagne each as we had photos taken(only the "single" golfers were in the pics) for the club to put on their hall of fame. And we all got lucky too. One of the lads got doubly lucky, even. The handsome bastard.



Following that I decided to try it again but on a bigger scale, and called the production company of the movie "Love Actually" saying that I was representing the New Zealand movie director Jane Campion(we picked her as we were pretty sure that no security staff would have a clue what she looked like) and that as she would be in London at the time of the premier could they arrange tickets for her.

We went as far as setting up a friend of ours in New York to leave an answer phone message pretending to be the agency, and asked them to leave details with "our New York office" as she was there for the next few days working on a new project with Kevin Spacey.

Sure enough, 8 hours later we were told that they had indeed left a message and that Jane's name was down on the list, along with a plus 3 for her guests. We hired a limo, got there about 45 minutes early in case we were knocked back and also wanted to avoid any undue attention. My wife's friend, who was about ten years younger than Campion, put on a kiwi accent for the whole evening.

We phoned through as instructed ten minutes before our limo arrived at Leicester Square (we only lived 2 miles away so that part was easy), had the limo doors opened, walked down the red carpet, into the theatre, not a question asked.

Then we got wankered on free booze before and after the movie. Happy days. We used the "Campion trick" a further three times, albeit for smaller events, until we got rumbled.

em, wouldnt the cost of the limo....

summerskin

ArtSmart wrote: »

em, wouldnt the cost of the limo....

£30 for half an hour hire, well worth the money.

RossyG

I've got a rather clingy friend called Clear. When I worked in a bank (a pre-Santander Abbey in England, for the record) he'd come in some days for a chat while I was serving on the counter.

Questions were asked by a couple of colleagues and I persuaded them that I was an aristocrat from Cork and that Clear was my valet/ghillie/squire/whatever. I explained that it was a noblesse oblige thing, that as my dad has Mr Clear senior as his manservant I, as the youngest, had to have Clear junior as my manservant.

"Oh, right," one of my colleagues said. "So he's your Clear."

"Exactly!" I replied. "That's why I have to have St Paddy's Day off. Clear has to lead me on horseback through Cork city to reinforce the feudal line."

They were fascinated.

God, I was bored in that job.

Kraftwerk91

Confab wrote: »

I can't reveal the lies I told as it would reveal who I really am. And that wouldn't be good. Not illegal, but controversial.

With a statement like that, you have a promising career in politics.

Caveman1

Went to the FAI award a few years back, a friends uncle got a few tickets for it, Myself and a few of the lads got all dressed up in tuxedos, after the awards we went onto a nightclub where of course we told every girl we were professional footballers, one of the lads got lucky and brought a girl home, they ended up falling for each other so after a few weeks he had to tell her he wasnt a footballer and now to this day they are still together with a baby and all.

talla10

I once managed to convince a girl i was a wonderful lover and expert at sex.

She didn't believe me next morning.

Wacker The Attacker

ballsymchugh wrote: »

seriously, why the fook would some guy want to stick his mickey into his own mouth?

Thats a superhero power to most blokes

blacklilly

Usually while out I'll tell some dodgy lies to a group of guys, an example of a few are:
I'm French , I can do an amazing French accent well until someone pipes up whos actually French.
I drive a vintage 911, told this one recently while on a week end break down the country, the group of lads saw me in my actual car the next day and they actually looked slightly disappointed.
I'm on the Irish equestrian team.

Told a large group from Aus that I was in a band and I was really famous, was high fiving anyone who passed by, was jumping into pictures. Was telling them they'd be in the paper the following day. They totally fell for it, myself and my friends ended up In a penthouse suite of the four seasons that night and to this day they probably think they partied with a rock star!

JohnCleary

De Hipster wrote: »

Once gate crashed a party* with the 'Don't you know who I am' line ...worked a treat.

The manager of the venue & the marketing guy for Citroen WRC team were extremely apologetic - the bouncer who had originally (correctly) turn us away was not convinced & none too pleased at being trumped by senior more gullible management!






*Sebastian Loeb's WRC title winning party in Wales circa 3yrs ago - my thing, but not quite hollywood!

Off topic I know, but in Sligo at the WRC few years back, managed to blag myself a seat in the Clarion Hotel at the dinner after the WRC beside Loeb.

After dinner I congratulated him on his win, and asked what it felt like to be a short-arse with a wife who's taller than him.

Good night