Dumped my girlfriend on Facebook!!

dreamvisions

Hey, Here we go, my girlfriend has been acting strange the last 2 weeks not answering her phone when she goes out or not texting, I got very stressed and jealous also needy, and lost it. And stupidly dumped her on facebook !! I pretty much dumped my self! I do want her back and declared this to her, I am such a fool and what I done was extremely childish! She is now not texting me , and wondering what I can do to resolve this !

Ellsbells

But she wouldnt talk to you before that either... I think you have been dumped.

Not nice to wash your dirty laundry in public so I'd stay away from facebook if I were you.

dreamvisions

She was texting , but when she was going to friends or going out i got no messages at all! We where talking up until yesterday, she told me shes very angry at me and needs time. And when I said I would give time and space she said no! She also said she still has feelings for me shes just really pissed off. Tbh I cant believe i done it !!

Ellsbells

Well it looks like you can do nothing to resolve it other than give her space and see if she comes back. I personally wouldnt forgive that but ....

So what if she didnt reply when out with friends - she was OUT WITH FRIENDS and there is nothing more annoying than a clingy bf at home texting when on a girls night out.

You need to get to the bottom of your issues before ye even think of getting back together and get off facebook.

dreamvisions

Its a long distance relationship. I agree with all of the above, gone out with her for a year and 3 months and have never been clingy! Any time either of us went out we always kept in touch. It was just a bit out of the ordinary that she was not texitng me while she was out! She has been getting lifts home by this chap from work and this is where everything is stemming from. With the facebook thing was just a moment of madness! No one deserves to be treated that way

Lorna123

Stop making excuses for her OP. If she was really into you she would have wanted to text you and keep in touch whether she was going out with her friends or not. I would stay away from her if I were you. Cool off and break up if you have to. She provoked you and if she doesn't care whether you were hurt or not then she is not the woman for you. There should be a happy medium here but it looks to me like she is not prepared to meet you half way.

Lorna123

Lorna123 wrote: »

Stop making excuses for her OP. If she was really into you she would have wanted to text you and keep in touch whether she was going out with her friends or not. I would stay away from her if I were you. Cool off and break up if you have to. She provoked you and if she doesn't care whether you were hurt or not then she is not the woman for you. There should be a happy medium here but it looks to me like she is not prepared to meet you half way.

That's not necessarily true. I probably wouldn't text someone back if I were out on a night out, because I personally find it rude to text or check your phone when you're out with others. If I'm with someone, I prefer to give them my full attention.

The OP says that they are texting each other every other time, bar when they're going out drinking. It's not a major problem and it highlights the OP's neediness and jealousy, which they've admitted. My advice to you, OP, is to leave her alone, because you've done the deed and now should deal with the consequences.

Work on yourself. Figure out why you did that and those issues, then try again. That's the major thing and something that should not be ignored, because you do have issues.

I've been there, probably worse, but it made me realize what I had to do to fix it, which I worked on and I think I'm much better, so it's do-able, OP. Just depends on whether you want to or not.

dreamvisions

We talked about the whole texting while out thing as a couple and decided as a couple that we would text each other during the night etc..I feel if you talk about it as a couple and agree to it, you should stick to that agreement. I have lost sight and self control in this situation I admit. Jealousy is strange because it creeps up! We have broken up now, and I have made her aware I did not want to break up, because of my anger and jealousy issues, that cropped up in one week. There is something i need to sort out that much is very clear. I am going to go down the path of leaving her alone, she is very angry at me. As you can all appreciated its a difficult time and when stressed and overwhelmed we make very bad choices!

dreamvisions

dreamvisions wrote: »

We talked about the whole texting while out thing as a couple and decided as a couple that we would text each other during the night etc..I feel if you talk about it as a couple and agree to it, you should stick to that agreement. I have lost sight and self control in this situation I admit. Jealousy is strange because it creeps up! We have broken up now, and I have made her aware I did not want to break up, because of my anger and jealousy issues, that cropped up in one week. There is something i need to sort out that much is very clear. I am going to go down the path of leaving her alone, she is very angry at me. As you can all appreciated its a difficult time and when stressed and overwhelmed we make very bad choices!

It's all well and good to be philosophical about it, OP, but you need to put the effort behind these words. Think about doing counseling sessions, to see the root of these problems, why you felt the compulsion to act out of anger, which is what you did essentially.

Who brought up the topic of texting on a night out, was it you or her? Honestly, to me it sounds like the only real issue was her not texting on a night out.

dreamvisions

My girlfriend is working away, she gets lifts some times off this lad in work. Great she don't have to wait on a bus. However she is starting to go out for drinks with work colleagues, and the chap from work is enviably there. Fair enough , she's allowed to have fun. A day later after work she tells me she's going to the pictures with her mate, 7 or so hours later it seems she went to the beach with her female co worker and the chap whom has been giving her lifts from work. Then a day later she is staying in her friends house for the night, and i have not heard a word out of her for the whole night( am of course very worried). She then goes out for dinner last Sunday with her friend and still has not texted me for the whole night. We are going out for a year and 3 months or so. And this is the first time she has ever done this. It was anger that brought me to the point of end the relationship on facebook!

IrishEyes19

OP, Why should your gf have to keep in contact when she's out for the night or going over to friends. That would irritate the hell out of me if my bf required that and I'd have to end the relationship if he didnt get the message. Now if she didnt text you for a number of days Id be concerned, but she doesnt have to tell you if she's going out ect. And if she's getting a lift home from a guy but theres never been infidelity in your relationship prior to this, then its your insecurities that is the problem, not her.

It was silly what you did, you should have met her face to face and talked to her. It was childish, you will have to wait it out and see what she says

Lorna123

I honestly feel that you were right OP. You have been with her for 1 year and 3 months and she has never acted like this before. She has given you cause for concern in that she is acting strange and then when you query it she gets angry with you. This is not on. Your instincts are right, there is something up. She is now using this an an excuse for keeping you at bay. I would just ignore her now and let her come to you. I think if she loved you she would not leave you high and dry to sweat this out. Stay away from her and let her come to you next. I don't like the way she is treating you. You would have no cause for concern if she was treating you the way you both agreed. She has broken the rules by not contacting you on a night out with the girls and now she is trying to blame you for this instead of herself. She knows why you are concerned and instead of reassuring you she is alienating you. I don't like her treatment of you at all and the way I would deal with this if I were you would be to ignore her. The more concerned you come across the more she will treat you like dirt, because she is becoming more sure of you and thinks she can get away with it. Show her that she can't. That is your trump card.

dreamvisions

Thanks alot for your reply , really is nice to let off a bit of steam here.
We ended it today, I gave her a call to tell her where I was at and why I did what I did. She told me today that she will allways love me and am i going to block her of facebook , I said no she said" good cause we have so many nice pictures" It turns out she blocked me off instgram as trivial as it sounds, and put up a picture of the person I have suspicions about washing his car, i seen this via fb. She had been talking about this guy here and there but never really paid any attention to it !

I told her I dont want to talk to her for a while she said to me "Your moving on very fast" I told her i want space etc... Everything seems so off compared to let say 3 or four weeks ago ! when some one goes out like 5 times in a week and with in them 5 times does not make any effort to contact me. Made me really really mad!

Lorna123

Looks like your suspicious were right OP. There is something going on with this guy who gives her lifts, otherwise why would she take your photo down and put his up. I can see why you would be hurt. She didn't have the guts to tell you out straight but tried to keep you dangling on in case this other guy didn't work out. I am sorry that this has not worked out for you but maybe in time she will be sorry and realize how good you were together. In the meantime stay away from her, don't contact her and get yourself a new social life. Best of Luck.

dreamvisions

She contacted me last night after we talked, saying how sorry she was for the way this ended, and that she needs time to think and loves me, She allso wants to know "am i very upset" Am just going to leave it here , nothing else I can do really , thanks for your post

OP, you are forgetting the other issues that exist right now. Your jealousy, your neediness and your quickness to anger. Unless you sort these out, you're only go to do it to someone else.

Lorna123

Deleted User wrote: »

OP, you are forgetting the other issues that exist right now. Your jealousy, your neediness and your quickness to anger. Unless you sort these out, you're only go to do it to someone else.

Anyone would be angry, needy and jealous if their OH started taking lifts from a buy she was infatuated with, and took your photo down from a site and put his up instead. She also stopped texting him while all of this is going on. I don't think the OP reacted badly to this sort of treatment. I don't blame you one bit OP. Don't contact your ex again, don't apologise for anything and don't reassure her that you will be there for her if she changes her mind. She wants to know how hurt you are, big deal, in other words she would like to see how much time she has to see if this other guy works out. Don't be fooled by her telling you she loves you. If she did she would not be behaving like this. She feels guilty and rightly so. She could come to her senses but you have to regain your dignity and not give her anything to go on. I would not blame you OP one bit for being hurt. You are only human afterall.

dreamvisions

I did get really really mad, and to be honest it takes alot to get me pissed off. I never encountered this emotion of jealousy in such a form before. Some of my actions where out there with the facebook thing. But she is playing a game that i really dont and cant be apart of! Her friend in work whom she has befriended has also broken up with her boyfriend in the same week. She been hang out with her. Theres just too many coincidence to this for it to be over reacting i feel. I could have shown better control in the situation. We have allways communicated as a couple
about the distance and what our plan was, allways kept in contact, allways facetimed each other and sending picture messages etc.., We would see each other for two to three weeks in a month . The facebook thing was a bump that could of been resolved if she truly loved me , so i will leave her alone and move on.