Coach Background

PacFish

Be fun if we give ourselves backstories etc. So here we go:

Coach Name: Ivor Smalldonger

Brother of Jon Footlongdong who is banned by EA for crimes against the swear filter. Ivor was born and raised under the shadow of Chernobyl. After mistakenly thinking he could get a tan from the glow above the power station Ivor laid outside armed only with a mankini. While avoiding common side effects such as a higher chance of cancer, Ivor suffered a mutation that made his donger small.

Despite this he managed to get himself out of Ukraine and found himself as a defensive co-ordinator at the University of Miami. He graduated to the pro's as receivers coach at Jacksonville. Despite producing no talent whatsoever Stan Kroenke saw a chance to hire somebody at bottom dollar and offered him the head coaches job at St Louis.

How will he get along?

Nelbert

Coach Name: Jim Moonbeam

Originally slated to be a first round draft pick out of University of Nevada, Moonbeams draft stock took a severe slide after a week long Charlie Sheenesque binge in Las Vegas. The consumption of several kilos of cocaine, a bar brawl over a game of tiddlywinks and the still suspicious circumstances surrounding the disapperance of 4 prostitutes along with a college teammates sister was a large factor in this draft slide.

After going from 1st round prospect to undrafted FA and never finding a team willing to give him a chance he became a born again Christian and moved to Columbia.

It later transpired "finding God" was a cover story for an elaborant drug smuggling ring which while strongly suspected off being the ring leader he has yet to face any charges. During this time his formerly athletic frame was destroyed due to what Moonbeam has referred to as "sh!tloads of cocaine" in numerous interviews.

Upon return to the US the University of Nevada's head coach appointed him as a team assistant in an olive branch type move, which Moonbeam attributes to turning his life around. He quickly progressed and became QB coach followed by Offensive Co-Ordinator until landing the recently vacated Head Coach job for the Packers.

His colourful interviews, while less frequent, have the media on the edge of their seats. He recently declared Vince Young a life long enemy and said it was his mission to rid the NFL of such bad influences. The motives for the comment have ensured a busy week for the investigative reporters in the NFL world.

Paully D

Good idea Pac.

Coach Eric Taylor finds himself as head coach of the San Diego Chargers as they decide to move in a different direction with the firing of Norv Turner.

Early Years:

Taylor started his career with the Dillon Panthers in a story which many people will be familiar with. After leading the Panthers to the 2006 Texas High School State Championship under difficult circumstances he accepted a job at TMU. However, it seemed too much too soon for Taylor as he wasn't ready to make the step up and decided to return to the Panthers to be closer to his family. Upon his return the Panthers, who had looked woeful in his absence, went on a terrific winning streak but injuries to key players halted their progress in the state QF. The next season the Panthers were in the State Championship game for the 2nd time in 3 years, but fell short in the final seconds with a 2 point defeat. Controversial circumstances surrounded coach Taylor's fourth season as the two local schools split and due to boosters influence over the West side Taylor moved on to the poorer East Dillon Lions. The next two years would mark perhaps his most impressive stint in his short career as he managed to gel a team devoid of any resources or team spirit (going 2-8 in his first year) into a State Championship winning team the next year.

After 5 seasons in Dillion with 2 different teams, a combined record of 48-16, 4 playoff appearances, 3 state championship appearances and 2 state championship wins, Taylor decided to make a family decision and move to the Pemberton Pioneers in Philly to allow his wife to progress in her career.

Pioneers and Further Years:

Taylor's stint at the Pioneers was a short one, as he stayed for one year winning a state championship. Taylor seemed to take like a duck to water as coach of a team with far greater resources than in his time at Dillon as he proved his time in Texas was no fluke. Taylor's wife Tami struggled to settle in Philly and an opportunity to return to Texas and join A&M as an offensive co-ordinator was exactly what they both wanted. Working alongside Mike Sherman, Taylor and the Aggies won the Big 12 before losing in the Cotton Bowl. The next season didn't go as well but the offensive wasn't the problem as the team racked up enough points to rank top 5 in the nation in PPG. This impressive showing lead the Houston Texans to take an interest in Taylor as a wide recievers coach, and with Sherman leaving to join up with the Packers Taylor decided the time was right to move on after two years with A&M. The Texans posted an impressive season last year and looked like genuine Super Bowl contenders at one stage, before injuries hit and they went down with a spirited fight to the Baltimore Ravens.

San Diego Chargers - Present:

The Chargers failed to make the playoffs for the second year in a row in 2011 and this offseason decided they wanted to remove Turner and go for a younger head coach with fresh ideas. Taylor had been linked with a number of positions around the league but after interest from the Chargers couldn't pass the opportunity up. Joining Taylor in SD will be three people he trusts greatly from his Dillon days. Smash Williams, the player who Taylor strived to help make it in the game joins as offensive coordinator after an impressive career with A&M before injuries hit again and cut short his NFL career in Baltimore as backup to Ray Rice. Tim Riggins, the hard hitting former Dillon full back joins as defensive co-ordinator after cleaning up his act and having a successful few years as assistant coach to Billy Riggins at Dillon in Taylor's absence and then a further successful stint as defensive line coach at Texas Tech. Also son-in-law Matt Saracen joins as quarterbacks coach.

It will be very interesting to see how things work out with such a young and relatively inexperienced coaching staff, but the Chargers front office are willing to give it the time it will need to develop.

Coach Taylor says he's thrilled to finally have the opportunity to become head coach of an NFL team after years of hard work, thinks he has the right setup with coaches he knows and can trust working alongside him and thanked his wife Tami and kids Julie and Gracie-Bell for all their help and support.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, CAN'T LOSE! :cool:

Mikeyt086

Is there any way I can edit my coach after I've already created him?

EDIT: Yes you can. For those wondering. Go to the franchise home page, go to 'More...' > My Career > Retire > Create New Character.

BigBadRob83

Growing up as the son of the future Hall of Fame coach of the New Engalnd Patriots, young William had football as part of his life from day one.

He does not like to be called Bill, as he wants to make his own way in life without any help from his dad, however in high school as a run-stopping defensive tackle, his teammates kept mentioning his dad and making fun of him, calling him Bill again and again until he snapped! Since then, he been called Big Bad Bill Belichick quietly behind his back.

An avid Madden player, William got his break in the game through an EA competition that gave one lucky gamer a chance to call the plays for a lowly Div 3 college team, Blue Mountain State. William played Madden with these college players in the buildup to the game and in a shock result largely attributed to his man-management and gaming skills, this lowly team beat the 60-point spread and only lost by 40 to USC.
BMS kept him on due to his name and the publicity the Belichick name brought with the nominal title of Defensive Co-ordinator.
A lot of this team's new found success was mistakenly attributed to William by an exuberant local media, and he was subsequently hired as the defensive co-ordinator by Bill O'Brien in Penn State, but before he could take this job and be found out at the top level...
Jerry Jones came calling. Desperate for success, he followed the tried-and-trusted NFL policy of hiring people remotely associated with Super Bowl coaches. He somehow missed the results of this tactic in Denver with Josh McDaniels, Romeo Crennel, Charlie Weis, et al.
Jerry Jones was convinced this was the man for the job when William demanded $5m/year contract with full autonomy over personnel decisions, assuming that someone tis confident HAD to know what he was doing.
Only time will tell if Bill Jr. has got anything of his father in him or if he will be found out as a fraud

Berty44

Mikeyt086 wrote: »

Is there any way I can edit my coach after I've already created him? Without thinking I just made myself as the coach and would much prefer to go with one of my alter egos Dr. Kenneth Noisewater or Downtown "Funky Stuff" Malone.

You need to resign and join the franchise again, no problem if you have not played your preseason game as you will lose nothing.

Berty Mourino....... Jose's brother.

Mikeyt086

Berty44 wrote: »

You need to resign and join the franchise again, no problem if you have not played your preseason game as you will lose nothing.

Berty Mourino....... Jose's brother.

You dont even need to leave the franchise! You just go to Retire in 'My Career' and instead of retire you create new character.

The Jacksonville Jaguars are pleased to announce the unveiling of new Head Coach: Gordon Bombay.

Bombay rose to fame as coach of Minneapolis pee-wee hockey team "District 5". Originally an attorney of law, Bombay was ordered to community service upon receipt of a DUI charge, during this service coach Bombay took a bunch of raggle-taggle kids who could barely skate and turned them into pee-wee champs. His shrewd coaching skills were noticed. Strokes of genius such as re-branding the team to the Ducks, acquiring free agent Fulton Reed (a minor with a troubled past) and the acquisition of arch-rival Hawks' star player Adam Banks launched Bombay and the Ducks to their first ever championship.

This amazing feat lead to Gordon Bombay being appointed head coach of Team USA Hockey at the following summer's Junior Goodwill games. Bombay faced the monumental task of conquering Wolf 'The Dentist' Stansson and his Iceland team of mini-hulks, but once again Bombay delivered. Taking the perhaps rash decision of picking only players from the Ducks, Bombay was told he would have to include a selection of players from around the country. Where many coaches would have struggled to blend the squad, Bombay excelled, and Team USA became Junior Goodwill Games champions. Bombay's coaching was so inspirational that the NHL decided to name a professional franchise after his team.

The decision to hire Bombay in his first job in football is one which has turned a few heads, but when you identify that his only tactical need is hand the ball to Maurice Jones-Drew, you see that his man motivation and knack for developing players can only be a positive for the franchise.

The_Gatsby

Great idea!

Axel Von Hinkelstein

Axel grew up in a rural part of Eastern Germany but moved to the USA at a young age. Despite his ridiculous name, constant teasing and a terrible body odour problem, Axel learned how to spend time alone and it was in his early, lobely teens that he became dedicated to learning the ways of a kicker. After his senior year, he was recruited to the University of New Mexico as a Kicker. It was here that he grew as a person, becoming the most popular person on campus after a near impossible stunt mid game which involved backflips and a field goal. Axel declared for the NFL in his junior year and was drafted in the first round by the unconventional Raiders side. However, Axels short stint as an elite NFL kicker came to an abrupt end when he was involved in a violent incident at a bouncy castle factory. Axel would never play in the NFL again and was forced to retire as a player after only 2 seasons. Axel went into a spiral of depression, feasting upon buckets of Sauerkraut and Pretzls in his lederhosen.

However, Axel managed to get his act together. He was inspired by a German victory at the Eurovision song contest in 1981. Axel managed to pull himself together and earned a job coaching high school kickball . It was whilst at this job that he volunteered to help out on the football team, the Roswell Space Invaders. After only 3 years Axel was head coach and had led the Space Invaders to a national championship and soon earned a job at his old University. From here it was all smiles for Axel. He spent several years at New Mexico University before moving on as a special teams coach for the Houston Texans. Axel worked hard and was soon offered a job by Arthur Blank as the head coach of the most exciting Atlanta team to date. Axel accepted and hopes to lead the team to a superbowl this year. He has been quoted as saying "We need to practice kicking"

madalig12

Chris P. Duck

Hired by the 49ers after a chance meeting whilst delivering some Chinese noodles this adopted, some say genius coach from Chinatown in LA. His origins are unknown but after being left as a baby in the local zoo and spending most of his days cooking rice in his adopted parents restaurant. He learned the game from playing madden1 on his sega megadrive. His coaching methods are crazy but then again he should fit right in in San fran.

Pudsy33

My coach has my name, I'm so original. Might make a new one.

HowAreWe

Pudsy33 wrote: »

My coach has my name, I'm so original. Might make a new one.

Mine is literally HowAreWe :pac: don't know how that gameface yoke works either.

PerrinV2

Perrin Aybara-Head Coach of the Denver Broncos
I really fell into my job by accident.I was working as a safety inspector at my local nuclear power plant when I offered a new job at the
Globex Corporation in Cypress Creek.Life was great there,I was making better money and my boss Hank Scorpio was cheerful and friendly.I even told him it was my dream one day to own the Dallas Cowboys,he encouraged me to never give up on it.Since I was making good money I was also able to treat myself to some things such as a hat wore and autographed by Tom Landry.
Although things were going great for me my family hated Cypress Creek and wanted to move back home.The next day I went to tell Hank I was moving back home
he said I should do what was best for my family,although he seemed slightly distracted at the time.
A few weeks later I recieved a letter from Hank
"Project Arcturus couldn't have succeeded without you.
This will get you a little closer to that dream of yours. It's
not the Dallas Cowboys, but it's a start. Drop me a line if
you're on the East Coast, Hank Scorpio."
He had sent me the Denver Broncos instead,I must admit I was disappointed,my wife sugggested to me that owning the Denver Broncos was pretty good
I replied "You just don't understand football, Marge"

BigBadRob83

And here I thought Perrin was a young golden-eyed blacksmith who grew from humble beginnings to become a leader of men

davetherave

David Perkins: Head Coach of the New England Patriots.

Our heros tale begins just before midnight on a rather nondescript Thursday night. Wandering around Copper Face Jacks looking for his mates, young Perkins catches a glimpse of this tall leggy bored blonde standing alone at the bar. Being a gentlemen he starts over her way to talk to her. Sadly he is stopped by this 6'2" 320lb monster telling him to "BACK THE FCUK UP". Through squinted eyes, poor lighting and hazy smoke Perkins could see that none other than Vince Wilfork was standing in front of him. "Oi, are you Gisele Bunder....Bandsh...are you Mrs QB? Where's Tom?" He shouted. "Outside...playing football" she scowled; clearly unhappy at being left alone in a cattle mart.

Not believing his ears he abandons his friends and heads outside to the sight of the New England Patriots having an 8 a side game right there on Harcourt St. Perkins armed with the knowledge that comes with having a level 1 IAFL coaching cert starts shouting instructions at the 3 time superbowl champion who for some strange reason listens to him. Gronk burns his man on a hitch and go and hauls it in.

Some time later Belichick gets his marching orders for some unspecified reason, Gronk puts in a good word for him. Through a rather unfortunate series of events including a run in with a colombian drug kingpin, a bitter ex wife with a rusty blade and a hit and run with an escaped panda the shortlist got considerably thinner and now the Pats have a 23 year old head coach...

HeartOfTheCity

Newly appointed Head Coach of the Miami Dolphins Simon Rackenbacker’s roots do not begin in the world of American Football at all.

Initially, the Englishman pursued a career in show business, with his big break coming in the late 1980’s when he provided the vocal track for shamed pop duo/brilliant hair-havers, Milli Vanilli, to mime to. It’s rumoured that the subject of the track ‘Girl You Know It’s True’ was, in fact, Pam Oliver of Fox’s NFL coverage.

Following the veritable sh*t-storm that followed the lip syncing fiasco, Rackenbacker was offered a roster spot with NFL Europe outfit, Rhein Fire. He saw no playing time, however, and it is believed that he was brought in purely due to his fantastic David Hasselhoff impressions whilst wearing ‘The Hoff’s’ now legendary outfit from 90’s cult classic ‘Baywatch’.

His ‘unique’ motivational techniques led NCAA’s Wisconsin Badgers to offer him a position coaching Wide Receivers and Cheerleaders. From here, he rejected an acting role in Channel 4’s ‘drama’ Hollyoaks, and was promoted to the role of Offensive Co-ordinator, implementing the opposite of the ‘blur’ offense, believed to be homage to the slow motion running scenes from aforementioned TV show ‘Baywatch’.

Following successive Rose Bowl appearances, and the development of now-NFL quarterback Russell Wilson and Heisman nominee Montee Ball, the Dolphins sought to bring in Rackenbacker for no-nonsense, jazz hands approach to coaching.

Rackenbacker is happily married to 1990’s, one hit wonder, Gina G.