Should a person always know that they are dying?

kowloon

Was your Grandfather not informed of the diagnosis to his face?

Snowie

Id rather know and i go out instyle id party till i could not any more

JustAThought

A child - no.

Someone who wasn't the full shilling -no.

But mostly, others, yes. Why take the option to make peace/resolve lifelong conflicts/resolve a will etc from them.

But .have you ever been in hospital, alone, catastrophically ill,unable tobreathe unassisted, in ICU & strung out on drugs; half sane & half delirious.At what point would the terror of someone hanging over your bed saying you're going to die make you less delirious or terrified.

It might resolve outstanding guilt & legal issues for others, but if you are that ill what will it do for you-other than scare the life and fight out of you .

&... Self fulfilling prophesies?

Difficult one .

SunDog

As someone who's been on both sides I think the person should be told. It's not a decision for anyone else to decide (doc included). This maybe hard for family but....

Lollipops23

You shouldn't keep that from anyone. It's no one's right.

Lucyfur

I have a family member in this situation at the moment. I'm shocked that he is not being informed that death is very close.
What if he wants to say goodbye/make peace/tell someone he's always hated them?

I'd want to know.

It wasn't me!

kowloon wrote: »

Was your Grandfather not informed of the diagnosis to his face?

No. The doctors dealt with the family, which is another area I have massive misgivings about. It's some eight or nine years ago now and it still gives me shivers every time it crosses my mind.

supershy

I think each situation needs to be dealt with differently. For instance, my brother died of cancer and we never told him he was going to die.

The doctors told us as a family that he did not have long to live and if we felt he should know, then they would tell him.

My brother received treatment in St. Lukes (i think that's the name of the hospital) and a nurse had told my mother at the time that St. Lukes have a policy of telling all their patients the truth yet they never told my brother and i think this is all down to his personality and his medical history.

My brother became a heroin addict at the age of 17 and for the next 10 years, it was a living hell. My parents had done their best by him, never throwing him out of the house and fought tooth and nail to get him in to rehab facilities. He eventually got clean at the age of 27. When he was 28, he was diagnosed with cancer and then he got the all clear 18months later after chemo etc etc. The cancer then returned when he was 31 and he passed away.

My brother had only started to live his life and he loved every minute of it and was now living with his girlfriend and they adored each other.

My brother always believed that he would beat cancer the 2nd time round and it was obvious to us that if we and the doctors and nurses told him the truth, he wouldn't cope with the news and would just give up. My mother always feared he would take a heroin overdose if he found out he was going to die.

I am glad we didnt tell my brother because in spite of the chemo, the severe pain, sickness and medications, he believed he could fight it and he was, in his own way, happy until the day he passed away.

SandyRamp

Personally I would definitely want to know, and I would be pretty mad if anybody kept that info from me as there would be so much I would want to do before it happened.

Regarding telling a child, I don't think they need the burden of that knowledge. My ex's little brother died of cancer when he was 4, and the family decided to carry on with him as normal. They told him that everything he was going through was normal and that his big brother (22 at the time) went through the same at his age. All the males in the family shaved their hair etc. so he didn't feel like he was different.

Saying that though, I think the little guy was smarter than they gave him credit for, as he often spoke like he wouldn't be around for long, leaving presents around the house for them to find "when i'm not here anymore" and talking about when he gets to heaven. I still think they were absolutely right not to tell him though.

SunDog

SandyRamp wrote: »

I think the little guy was smarter than they gave him credit for

Alway worse when it's a child. I still think they should not be lied to but told in a way they can understand.

Wacker The Attacker

In a strange and perverse knowing when a person is going to die can sometimes be a comfort.

maameeo

i think they should be told, what if they had amends to make with someone before they died or things they wanted to do or say.

Rasheed

From nursing in various wards and seeing dozens of people dying, I'd say no, a person does not need to be told they are dying.

9/10 it's not an issue as they are unaware of their surrounding and in a deep sleep if not a coma. Why have their last few hours scary, traumatic and perhaps accelerating their death?

But since I have been that sick myself in the last year, to have details hidden from you regarding your health, is just cruel and strips you of your last few shreds of dignity.

If a person is fairly aware and alert, honesty is the best policy in my opinion.

neemish

Surely their doctor should tell them? Would they not be ethically bound to tell them unless it would do harm?

Rasheed

neemish wrote: »

Surely their doctor should tell them? Would they not be ethically bound to tell them unless it would do harm?

Next of kin can insist a doctor doesn't tell them, usually, in fairness, it's because they reckon it will cause unnecessary harm.

SunDog

neemish wrote: »

Surely their doctor should tell them? Would they not be ethically bound to tell them unless it would do harm?

There words not always in the same sentence. I've met quiet a few narcissistic ****ers in my time. Fortunately balanced by some pretty humble ones.

Lorna123

I would think that if a patient asked me if they were going to die then they should be told. If they don't ask then why bring it up. I always thought that a Dr. would inform a patient if the patient wanted to know. Is it not between the patient and his Dr.? Who are we to take it on ourselves to tell someone that they are going to die? If a person wants to know if they are going to die they will ask. If they don't ask then I would not tell them. I would not like to be told myself. Imagine waking up every day and wondering if today would be the day. Imagine the sort of things that would be going through your head as you wait for death. It is always advisable to make a Will well in advance of death.