Whats it like having friends?

Tom_Cruise

I currently dont have anyone i can call a friend.There is one person that txts me once a month or so,but its always looking for something so im not sure if that counts.

I have never really had friends,there were a few when i was in school when i was around 12 or so,but since then its just been me doing stuff on my own.

The past while it has been borthering me,every friday i hear people making plans for the weekend,usually drinks/a night out,watching sport,going away for the weekend,and i think id like to have someone to do stuff with.When i get asked what i am doing for the weekend i usually lie and tell them im meeting someone for a drink or going cinema.

I think most people have a group of friends that they know for years or grew up with and it can be hard to get to know them.

Is it great to have friends? Do you find it hard to make new ones?

vicwatson

Join Facebook and get "friends"

the groutch

What about all your Scientology friends?

artanevilla

Must be hard since Katie left.

TheBody

For a small fee, I'll be your friend op.

stoneill

It's like having family, except they don't live there.

GastroBoy

artanevilla wrote: »

Must be hard since Katie left.

:D:D:D

MadameGascar

Can't remember. All my friends are either dead or in prison

Birneybau

Wrong place to ask...:P

Ronin247

Join a religious group,they will interview for friends and girlfriends so I hear......just cannot put a name to the group I am thinking of......

TheBody

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9-hRivcIY8

JustAddWater

MadameGascar wrote: »

All my friends are in prison

It's ok, Gordon is great craic over there

ScumLord

Tom_Cruise wrote: »

When i get asked what i am doing for the weekend i usually lie and tell them im meeting someone for a drink or going cinema.

They're probably building up to asking if you want to go out with them. Everyone else probably thinks your always busy and have no time for them.

phasers

I've only got 2 friends who I see once every couple of weeks. And the friends I have don't like each other so that's a bit awkward. People in general piss me off and it doesn't bother me to do stuff on my own, I hate those 'have you any plans' questions though because apparently if you're not going out getting drunk every night then you're an auld biddy...


I'll be your friend op, but I hate sports and nightclubs... Do you like the cinema?

Rawhead

You came to the wrong place if you think any of the goatee wearing, no mate arseholes on this site can help you. It's like going to Tallaght and asking what it's like to have a job.

Stinicker

Who cares about friends, its the friends with benefits which are important! :pac:

martomcg

I wonder what gives away the fact you hate people......

the groutch

artanevilla wrote: »

Must be hard since Katie left.

GastroBoy wrote: »

:D:D:D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEVjOudHHWk

brummytom

I moved to University last Saturday, completely on my own, didn't know anyone up here. In the past few days, I've been out for a drink or to a club or whatever with relative strangers.
It can be weird, but unless you just talk to people, you won't get anywhere. Just make polite small talk, you might have something in common.

Or join some kind of club/society, as cliché as it sounds, it's good to meet 'like-minded people'.

Where To

It's ok OP, I have no friends either, and I'm fairly normal.:)

blue note

Lots of people similar. Join a club or something - usually a good way to meet people.

Blondes have more fun

Why don't u ask some work guys to go for a drink on a Friday? You will have to put in some effort also. It is a two way street.

iPhone Crusader

Having real, good friends is the best thing that can happen in your life. I really suggest that you make this a priority op. You're missing out if you don't have friends.

spankysue

Friends aren't all they're cracked up to be op, they can annoy the hell out of you too, making you wish you were alone.

I have two friends that I've known since school and I honestly never contact them, only see them a couple of times a year and dread those times when I do have to see them. I have nothing in common with them anymore but they just won't let the friendship die out, fcuking persistent b1tches

MaxSteele

Meh. Have about three or four groups of friends.

The only time I really bother with mine is when I go on the piss though. Other than that I can't be arsed with them.

whatdoicare

I married my only friend...we took the friends with benefits thing too far.

ollaetta

Now Tom, don't keep your Eyes Wide Shut. It's not Mission Impossible to find A Few Good Men as friends without going Far and Away. You don't have to search Knight and Day to find someone to have a Cocktail with. In no time at all you'll make All the Right Moves and be the Top Gun, a Legend in fact, and not one of The Outsiders.

Sorry, but I couldn't resist. And no, I didn't know them all off the top of my head!

Sir Pompous Righteousness

"Friends" either want to use you for something or they find you attractive. "Friend" is on of the most overrated and overused words in the English language. It's becoming more popular in the fuzzy happy-go-lucky politically correct bullshiting telly-tubby generation. At the end of the day it's really every man for himself.

Pottler

Pick someone random and bring them home- voila - a friend. They may not co-operate with this idea or even be very keen, but just persist and they will come around eventually, or the Guards will..

eth0

Rawhead wrote: »

You came to the wrong place if you think any of the goatee wearing, no mate arseholes on this site can help you. It's like going to Tallaght and asking what it's like to have a job.

That reminds me. Must trim the goatee tonight

PyeContinental

Tom_Cruise wrote: »

I currently dont have anyone i can call a friend.There is one person that txts me once a month or so,but its always looking for something so im not sure if that counts.

I have never really had friends,there were a few when i was in school when i was around 12 or so,but since then its just been me doing stuff on my own.

The past while it has been borthering me,every friday i hear people making plans for the weekend,usually drinks/a night out,watching sport,going away for the weekend,and i think id like to have someone to do stuff with.When i get asked what i am doing for the weekend i usually lie and tell them im meeting someone for a drink or going cinema.

I think most people have a group of friends that they know for years or grew up with and it can be hard to get to know them.

Is it great to have friends? Do you find it hard to make new ones?

Sorry to see there have been so many "jokey" responses to what seems like a genuine search for a bit of empathy or reassurance.
I can tell you three things that should help you.

One is that everyone finds it hard to make friends, and while it might seem that everyone else has got life sorted out and is at ease with themselves and everyone else, inside they feel the same insecurities as you. Everyone has doubts and fears about themselves, even people who seem completely confident. Telling you this isn't going to fix anything for you right away, but once you realise this for yourself, you can start to look outwards more, and focus less on worrying about how others might perceive you.

The other thing to tell you is that you must make an effort to be approachable to people and to approach people. It takes energy and willpower to be friendly and pleasant and interesting to people. It's a cliche, but you need to be interested in something to be interesting. Get a hobby, preferably an outdoors one, and get out and enjoy it.

The third thing is exercise. Physical exercise is very beneficial for your mood and general sense of well-being, so anytime you're feeling lethargic or are tempted to feel sorry for yourself, don't. Give yourself a kick up the arse and get out for a walk. You'll feel happier and more energetic for having done it. Do this regularly, and this will help you to keep a positive mental attitude, which in turn will make you more attractive to people.

Jesus Shaves

Rawhead wrote: »

You came to the wrong place if you think any of the goatee wearing, no mate arseholes on this site can help you. It's like going to Tallaght and asking what it's like to have a job.

:pac:

Jellicoe

Tom_Cruise wrote: »

Is it great to have friends? Do you find it hard to make new ones?

I've learned as I got older 'Friends' are an over rated waste of time. It might look cosy from the outside looking in, but in my experience, in the long term, you are better off without 95% of any so called Friends. Life has taught me that 95% are just users who will at some stage in life stab you in the back if they can personally gain from it.

An gentle old lady advised me many years ago :

"Love many, trust few. Always Paddle Your Own Canoe."

I didn't really understand at the time, but boy was she right.

By all means develop a group of people you can socialise with, or clubs sports etc. and have a drink with, but forget about 'Friends'.

aaronjumper

I don't have many but I trust the ones I have.

Sound of Silence

Sir Pompous Righteousness wrote: »

"Friends" either want to use you for something or they find you attractive. "Friend" is on of the most overrated and overused words in the English language. It's becoming more popular in the fuzzy happy-go-lucky politically correct bullshiting telly-tubby generation. At the end of the day it's really every man for himself.

You have a deeply pessimistic view of Friendship.

Whilst it's possible to look at Human Relationships from the perspective of an Anthropologist, it would be unwise to assume that Man was ever meant for a solitary existence.

Peregrine

What's a friend and where do I download one? :pac:

BillyMitchel

eth0 wrote: »

That reminds me. Must trim the goatee tonight

I was rubbing mine when I read it!


stroking my goatee I mean!

Miss Lockhart

It's a tough one OP. I would say you're not missing out by not having "friends" (as I don't think they really exist for more than a small handful of lucky people), but I think being without acquaintances to socialise with is hard.

I've had what I considered friends at the time, but I would now consider myself to have only acquaintances who I would go for a drink with or meet for lunch or cinema the odd time. Personally, I feel that the overwhelming majority of people are not to be relied upon or trusted. Perhaps they are reliable for their family (though I'm very sceptical), but I think those who really fulfil the definiton of a friendship with non family members are few and far between.

At this point in my life I feel glad that I have experienced "friendship" and also glad to realise it's not really all it's cracked up to be. That said, I'm grateful to have social acquaintances and I empathise with those who are lacking somebody to meet up with.

wp_rathead

Tom_Cruise wrote: »

When i get asked what i am doing for the weekend i usually lie and tell them im meeting someone for a drink or going cinema.

Who is "them"? "them" could be potential friends- be honest and say "I'v no plans, on for heading pub?"

can be harder making friends when older though alright
luckily i still have my school and college gang around the country- but it is nice to make new ones
g'luck

hoodwinked

i never really had friends, growing up we moved house alot and where we eventually settled the people there weren't really 'friend' types....


i always found it hard to meet people, and the only 'friends' i had were a group i used work with, but all they'd do is drink in a pub on a saturday night, there were no cinema trips/gigs/ anything that varied from getting pissed drunk.

in the end i got sick of spending my nights in on the internet and i started to go to my favorite club night, i would go alone, i got talking to random strangers (possibly hundreds)

but i was lucky in that eventually i knew enough people to see that i could go up and talk to them but out of those people i am now great friends with two of them (not great odds but one of them introduced me to my husband) i got to know the bouncer really well and we too became friends.

i also moved to an area where i was lucky to meet two great girls and we got chatting, found we had a lot in common and now are friends,


i think friends are like dating, you have to keep trying, never give up, take chances and try not to get dejected.

you just have to find the ones that are right for you no matter how old you are.

Sir Pompous Righteousness

iPhone Crusader wrote: »

Bullshit. Sounds like you never had a real friend. A real friend is somebody who shares your point of view and sees the best in your even if you don't always see it yourself or show it to the world. You sound like you've been jerked around a bit in life, don't spread that poison to others. Try to sort out your life instead of throwing your own life's negativity to all and sundry. Mr Joy you ain't.

Blahh!! This is exactly the sort of drivel I would have expected from someone with such a conformist username like "iPhone Crusader". Sounds like you buy into the propaganda too much.

In the real world, "friends" are overrated. The idea of "friends" might seem nice from the outset but really it's bullshit most of the time; people may say that they're friends but really they're looking for some mutual benefits, either sex or to be used in other ways.

Amongst "friends", there are usually those who are dominant and those who are submissive. The submissive "friend" is usually the one who has bought into the happy-go-lucky bullshit from a very early age while the dominant "friend" has awoken to the bullshit and is now just playing his/her cards.

For instance, "friends" might do each other favours now and again but they're not doing it for nothing; they're usually doing it with the expectation, sometimes rather naively, that you'll return the favour at some point down the line. Usually the dominant "friend" is more likely to win over on these occasion because he/she probably gauges which "friend" is more likely to return the favour and less likely to screw them over.

The reality is, in your entire lifetime, there might only be one or two people you could really call friends, but even then you're pushing it. If there was a way to read people's minds, then people would immediately realises the true nature of "friends" for what they really are. Most people awaken and realise the true nature of "friends" at some point in their lives.

Arrow in the Knee

I used to have friends when I was at school a few years ago.
Was my own fault for not seeing them anymore.

It was great going out and having the 'craic' but nowadays I don't wait at the phone for someone saying ''ye goin out'' or on bebo back in the day updating me profile.

Life is much easier without them but I'd like to step out again, eventually.

Sir Pompous Righteousness

Sound of Silence wrote: »

You have a deeply pessimistic view of Friendship.

Whilst it's possible to look at Human Relationships from the perspective of an Anthropologist, it would be unwise to assume that Man was ever meant for a solitary existence.

"Friends" are like piranhas with make-up on.

DEFTLEFTHAND

I'm lucky really in that I've had a tight group of friendships since childhood which have remained into adulthood. In college I met about three people who have remained friends, didn't really get on with many of the clowns in my year. Posers and the like, agricultural people from rural backwaters developing d4 accents in a matter of weeks, I found it all very silly and didn't engage in any of of their bullsh1t.

For you OP I know it sounds like cliched advice but maybe try join some form of social club, sports or whatever. Even think of asking a work colleague or an acquaintance out for a pint or something, all friendships usually start with somebody making the first move.

Arrow in the Knee

I used to have friends when I was at school a few years ago.
Was my own fault for not seeing them anymore.

It was great going out and having the 'craic' but nowadays I don't wait at the phone for someone saying ''ye goin out'' or on bebo back in the day updating me profile.

Life is much easier without them but I'd like to step out again, eventually.

Daveysil15

You could try a dating site and find a nice girl. Then you wouldn't need friends so much.

cloud493

If I find out, I'l let you know :pac:

Sound of Silence

Sir Pompous Righteousness wrote: »

"Friends" are like piranhas with make-up on.

You seem to suffer from being overly analytical.

I'm certainly not one to speak, as I too feel the urge to constantly assess peoples motives and desires; not because I fear them, but simply because I can and I find it passes the time.

You seem to have used this trait to strengthen your general misanthropic nature and to give legitimacy to your existing anxieties.

Gran Hermano

Roll up, roll up

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/profile.php?do=addlist&userlist=friend&u=583516

cloud493

MaxSteele wrote: »

Meh. Have about three or four groups of friends.

The only time I really bother with mine is when I go on the piss though. Other than that I can't be arsed with them.

Well la de da mr I have 4 groups of friends.

SCOOP 64

spankysue wrote: »

Friends aren't all they're cracked up to be op, they can annoy the hell out of you too, making you wish you were alone.

I have two friends that I've known since school and I honestly never contact them, only see them a couple of times a year and dread those times when I do have to see them. I have nothing in common with them anymore but they just won't let the friendship die out, fcuking persistent b1tches

This is the right attitude to take!
No big deal not having friends.
how would you Dafine a friend, from people you just know, some people class these as friends.