No sex in my house.....

laoisman11

Thought that might catch ye're attention!

The OH is living a few hours away (temporary work arrangement) and has had to move flats lately. The new place she has found has an owner who has explicitly forbidden that we sleep together in the bedroom. Instead, there is a type of converted garage adjacent to the house where we are instructed to go to sleep/practise the moves on a fold-up couch. I'd normally spend every second weekend in her place......

Fair enough, as it's the owner's house, they can put in place whatever rules they like but I'm not sure what to make of this at all.....we're both in our 30s FFS. It kind of feels that we're going to do something totally immoral and maybe illegal (I realise that that may be a turn-on for some!) and that we're too debased/immoral/dirty to be allowed sleep (and have sex) in a bedroom.

Herself has accepted it and I haven't really challenged her on it for the moment as she's in the middle of something.

So what do ye reckon? Would ye accept to share a house under this type of restriction? Do ye think it's acceptable to put this type of condition on someone who is paying you rent?

I dunno, i'll give the place a look next weekend, maybe it won't be that bad, and for sure my first aim will be to break the house rules as soon as possible. Otherwise.....herself might be looking for a new flat.....

Poor Uncle Tom

So that's what she's telling you.......;)

Tombi!

If you're not married then I can't blame him. Some people are insanely religious.
And if you're trying to break the rules, expect her to be told to leave when/if you get caught.

kneemos

How old is the house owner?

the groutch

landlord obviously not getting any

minidazzler

There are camera's in the fcuk room.

Savage924

Well if the landlord say's thats the rules then thats the rules. That's just my opinion though. Maybe try saying it to the landlord and see how he/she replies?

Hande hoche!

Threesome?

hardCopy

Maybe the walls are thin and the owner doesn't want to listen to yous

bigron2109

Hidden Cameras in the Garage i bet.

Madam

Jeesus! I had thought Ireland had moved out of the 19th century:(

NegativeCreep

That sounds hot to me tbh.

Jellicoe

Simples. He's got the converted garage rigged to record your activities.
Surely your OH can find somewhere else to stay instead of with that loon ?

hardCopy

Is this the couch? http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/demotivational-posters-if-you-know-what-this-means1.jpg

frag420

Have a **** on the sofa.

No rules against that!

HeyThereDeliah

Why is she renting this place with this stupid rule ?
Personally I would break the rule every hour on the hour just for the thrill of getting caught.

redzerologhlen

minidazzler wrote: »

There are camera's in the fcuk room.

Sure is...streaming in progress

El Guapo!

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

If you're not married then I can't blame him..

Why not??
It's ridiculous and out of order. Fair enough it's his house and his rules and all but they're grown adults and not his children.
I'd tell him to fúck off and go find a different flat.

mikemac1

Be a good man and put a ring on her finger

Jellicoe

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

If you're not married then I can't blame him. Some people are insanely religious.

So why the weird set up of saying they can have sex in his garage instead ?
Nothing to do with religion whatsoever i'd say.

frag420

mikemac1 wrote: »

Be a good man and put her ring on your finger

Fyp

CarrickMcJoe

The guy obviously doesn't want you to offload six days of jizz all over the bed.

Micky Dolenz

Burn the house down, that will learn the fcuker, good and proper.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Could you not just ride her silently? You can use duck tape if need be.

skinny90

For sh*ts and giggles Buy a set of speakers,throw on redtube and crank the volume up full blast
Wait for a reaction perhaps a knock on the door,if the owner asks,just casually say together "ah where just watching a bita porn" and smile back

zenno

O.P why did you pick a convent ? of all the places available you just had to pick a convent. Ah well, learn the hard way.

At least you didn't have the landlord kicking in your bedroom door screaming Riding Academy, that's what happened me a good while back and i was in bed at the time with my girl

Zebra3

CJC999 wrote: »

Could you not just ride her silently? You can use duck tape if need be.

And what about for herself?

1ZRed

Have sex in the bedroom anyway. How would the owner ever know?


Durrrty :pac:

laoisman11

skinny90 wrote: »

For sh*ts and giggles Buy a set of speakers,throw on redtube and crank the volume up full blast

Good one! Just have to figure out how to put on a time delay on the computer so we're not there when it plays!!

The owner is actually a women, who apparently (according to my OH) is into spirituality and yoga and all that wonderful stuff.

Even though it's a woman, I'll be checking the garage for cameras like ye say. And maybe this spiritual woman is afraid of being overcome by the sounds of lovemaking and couldn't hold herself back. But as I haven't seen her yet, I don't think I'll let that stream of thought advance too far.

Rigol

Platerboard wall with peepholes ...... local drunks behind it masturbating frantically.

Entry fee was 2 euro.

Theres a vote on whether or not to try a glory hole.

say_who_now?

minidazzler wrote: »

There are camera's in the fcuk room.

Damn you mini!


Maybe the owner just doesn't want you putting footprints all over the walls!

I shared a flat before with my girlfriend and the landlord put up a sign in the bathroom beside the shower saying "One at a time in the shower!" with a picture of two rabbits underneath it, lol, because the other tenants were complaining apparently!

Another house I shared I was taking a bath one night and the other guy, walking by the bathroom roared out "DON'T BE **** IN THE BATH!!"... he may have been joking, but for about 30 seconds I wondered "How the hell did he hear me??", before I went back to playing with my rubber ducky! :pac:

Talib Fiasco

Take the mattress to the kitchen, proceed, and if he/she knocks and asks whats going on just say you were just after finishing tossing a salad.

3ndahalfof6

you need to spend some time with him/her, if you do it right they will realize your not quite the catch, hence allowing you access to your beloved, who is going to fook them off big time.

Micky Dolenz

How old are you and you girlfriend?

I thought digs were only for 1st college students, the nerdy ones.

smash

laoisman11 wrote: »

Instead, there is a type of converted garage adjacent to the house where we are instructed to go to sleep/practise the moves on a fold-up couch.

Guarantee there's a hidden web cam in there!

Edit... beaten to it like 3 times already...

cloptrop

Go into landlords room in the middle of the night and ride the missus on the landlords back .
Thatll put things into perspective for her.

3ndahalfof6

cloptrop wrote: »

Go into landlords room in the middle of the night and ride the missus on the landlords back .
Thatll put things into perspective for her.

Thats, cloptrop.

say_who_now?

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

How old are you and you girlfriend?

I thought digs were only for 1st college students, the nerdy ones.

I think the OP said they were both in their 30's Mickey, makes them im-mature students!

OP surely your GF could surely just call over to your place instead of you going over there, whitewashing the walls and then fúcking off leaving your girlfriend to deal with the clean up job? :pac:

cloptrop

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

cloptrop wrote: »

Go into landlords room in the middle of the night and ride the missus on the landlords back .
Thatll put things into perspective for her.

Thats, cloptrop.

Had to do this to the girlfriends father a few years ago . He stopped strugglin once he realised how much I was enjoying the struggle.

3ndahalfof6

cloptrop wrote: »

Had to do this to the girlfriends father a few years ago . He stopped strugglin once he realised how much I was enjoying the struggle.

this still stinks of cloptrop.

BillyMitchel

All this means is when you're in the sex lair, he knows exactly what's going on and he's pulling hard, very hard.

You and the misses will walk in red faced and you'll meet him also red faced with some damp tissues in his hand and a big cheeky grin on his face.

Tombi!

Dean09 wrote: »

Why not??
It's ridiculous and out of order. Fair enough it's his house and his rules and all but they're grown adults and not his children.
I'd tell him to fúck off and go find a different flat.

There is that option of leaving, yes. But his house, his rules.

Jellicoe wrote: »

So why the weird set up of saying they can have sex in his garage instead ?
Nothing to do with religion whatsoever i'd say.

I'm not the landlord. Maybe he just wants them doing it in the garage where he can video it?

3ndahalfof6

say_who_now? wrote: »

Damn you mini!


Maybe the owner just doesn't want you putting footprints all over the walls!

I shared a flat before with my girlfriend and the landlord put up a sign in the bathroom beside the shower saying "One at a time in the shower!" with a picture of two rabbits underneath it, lol, because the other tenants were complaining apparently!

Another house I shared I was taking a bath one night and the other guy, walking by the bathroom roared out "DON'T BE **** IN THE BATH!!"... he may have been joking, but for about 30 seconds I wondered "How the hell did he hear me??", before I went back to playing with my rubber ducky! :pac:

diddie ya mean was a man.

dodderangler

So this is that big brother show that people talk about!

3ndahalfof6

dodderangler wrote: »

So this is that big brother show that people talk about!

Go find him, destroy him, love him just before he.

cloptrop

What if the garage is occupado . Where can you go then.

Zebra3

cloptrop wrote: »

What if the garage is occupado . Where can you go then.

Join in. :pac:

CatEyed92

She also could be trying to get you to hurry up and take the big step:

Ask her to move in with you

kowloon

The fold-up couch might want a little more than febreeze on it if you plan on accepting the terms.

3ndahalfof6

kowloon wrote: »

The fold-up couch might want a little more than febreeze on it if you plan on accepting the terms.

promotion of sex wid aminils is not the whey to go.

zenno

1ZRed wrote: »

Have sex in the bedroom anyway. How would the owner ever know?


Durrrty :pac:

Hidden camera in said bedroom, OP look at all cracks and covers on all the walls just incase there is a hidden camera as i wouldn't put it past a crazy mortal like this.